I warn you once again, if you do not want to know what will happen in the football world, turn back now!
TIE-BREAKER
IOWA AT IOWA STATE – SATURDAY – 3:45 PM (FOX)
CDB: IOWA STATE 27 IOWA 6 (Did you watch Iowa State’s defensive line on Saturday? Crazy! That was without 1 starter and one guy that is going to be a star just getting his feet wet. Iowa’s slow quarterback doesn’t stand a chance!)
JLB: IOWA STATE 28 IOWA 20
DRE: IOWA STATE 24 IOWA 17
RMK: IOWA STATE 31 IOWA 30
CAF: IOWA STATE 24 IOWA 21
THURSDAY GAMES
STEELERS AT PATRIOTS – 7:30 PM (NBC)
CDB: PATRIOTS (Cheaters win big.)
JLB: PATRIOTS (Because they have been spying on the Steelers all week)
DRE: PATRIOTS (unfortunately Pats. They’ll be very eager and motivated after several months of drama.)
RMK: PATRIOTS (Because Goodell and Krafts deal for titles.)
CAF: PATRIOTS
FRIDAY GAMES
UTAH STATE (1-0) AT UTAH (1-0) – 8 PM (ESPN2)
CDB: UTAH (Utah State barely got by their lowly opponent last week. Utes roll! Sorry Chucky!)
JLB: UTAH
DRE: UTAH
RMK: UTAH (Utes.)
CAF: UTAH
FORT DODGE DODGERS (2-0) AT WATERLOO WEST WAHAWKS (1-1)
CDB: FORT DODGE (Fort Dodge scored 42 points in the first quarter last week. Dodgers roll again.)
JLB: FORT DODGE (RMK)
DRE: FORT DODGE
RMK: FORT DODGE (Streets.)
CAF: FORT DODGE
BOONE TOREADORS (0-2) VS. HUMBOLDT WILDCATS (0-2)
CDB: BOONE (Boone starts playing now that the games actually count.)
JLB: BOONE (Bennett)
DRE: BOONE
RMK: HUMBOLDT (Boonies air base is going down. The depression hurts too much.)
CAF: HUMBOLDT
AUDUBON WHEELERS (2-0) AT GRISWOLD TIGERS (1-1)
CDB: AUDUBON (Wheelers must be for real. I know that Griswold isn’t even a real town. Audubon rolls them up.)
JLB: AUDUBON
DRE: AUDUBON
RMK: AUDUBON (Rockets.)
CAF: AUDUBON
SATURDAY GAMES
KANSAS STATE (1-0) AT UTSA (0-1) – 11 AM (FS1)
CDB: KANSAS STATE (Kansas State and their Iowa quarterback that Iowa State and Iowa both didn’t recruit (again) roll big.)
JLB: KANSAS STATE
DRE: KANSAS STATE
CAF: KANSAS STATE
OREGON STATE (0-1) AT MICHIGAN (1-0) – 11 AM (ABC)
CDB: MICHIGAN (The Fightin’ Rudoks start the hype train with a huge W!)
JLB: MICHIGAN (Stupid Idiot Face Harbaugh)
DRE: MICHIGAN
RMK: MICHIGAN
CAF: MICHIGAN
EASTERN WASHINGTON (0-1) AT NORTHERN IOWA (0-1) – 1 PM (ESPN3)
CDB: EASTERN WASHINGTON (Eastern Washington struggles at first on a green field, but then puts the hammer down on the Purple Hawks.)
JLB: UNI
DRE: UNI
RMK: UNI
CAF: EASTERN WASHINGTON
UTEP (0-1) AT TEXAS TECH (1-0) – 1 PM (FOX)
CDB: TEXAS TECH (Hoiberg wannabe gets another W.)
JLB: TEXAS TECH (GQ)
DRE: UTEP
RMK: TEXAS TECH (Pimp City.)
CAF: TEXAS TECH
LIBERTY (1-0) AT WEST VIRGINIA (1-0) – 2 PM
CDB: WEST VIRGINIA (West Virginia survives another week with their murderer’s row non-con schedule.)
JLB: WEST VIRGINIA (Backwoods)
DRE: WEST VIRGINIA (Mountain Momma)
RMK: WEST VIRGINIA (Dana)
CAF: WEST VIRGINIA
STEPHEN F. AUSTIN (0-1) AT #2 TCU (1-0) – 2:30 PM (FS1)
CDB: TCU (Stephen F. Austin will request they change the name of the university after the horny frogs put style points up, after dropping a spot in the polls.)
JLB: TCU (T F’NCU)
DRE: TCU
RMK: TCU
CAF: TCU
MINNESOTA (0-1) AT COLORADO STATE (1-0) – 2:30 PM (CBSSN)
CDB: COLORADO STATE (Gophers blew their wad against TCU. Inconsistent QB play dooms them in Eustachyville.)
JLB: MINNESOTA
DRE: COLORADO STATE
RMK: MINNESOTA (Sota.)
CAF: MINNESOTA
#11 NOTRE DAME (1-0) AT VIRGINIA (0-1) – 2:30 PM (ABC)
CDB: NOTRE DAME (Virginia plays Notre Dame tougher than a terrible Texas team did last week. Still lose though.)
JLB: NOTRE DAME
DRE: NOTRE DAME
RMK: NOTRE DAME
CAF: NOTRE DAME
#19 OKLAHOMA (1-0) AT #25 TENNESSEE (1-0) – 5 PM (ESPN)
CDB: OKLAHOMA (Tennessee’s starting quarterback should be Texas’ starting quarterback, but Texas blew it. He is good, but Oklahoma squeaks one out.)
JLB: TENNESSEE
DRE: OKLAHOMA
RMK: TENNESSEE
CAF: OKLAHOMA
MEMPHIS (1-0) AT KANSAS (0-1) – 6 PM (ESPN3)
CDB: MEMPHIS (Kansas goes 0-12.)
JLB: MEMPHIS (I believe in Kansas)
DRE: MEMPHIS
RMK: MEMPHIS (Memphis by 1000.)
CAF: MEMPHIS
CENTRAL ARKANSAS (0-1) AT OKLAHOMA STATE (1-0) – 6:30PM
CDB: OKLAHOMA STATE (I didn’t even know there was a Central Arkansas. Cowboys big!)
JLB: OKLAHOMA STATE
DRE: OKLAHOMA STATE
RMK: OKLAHOMA STATE
CAF: OKLAHOMA STATE
LAMAR (1-0) AT #4 BAYLOR (1-0) – 6:30 PM (FSN)
CDB: BAYLOR (There should be rules preventing games like this from being played. Bears.)
JLB: BAYLOR (It hardly seems fair.)
DRE: BAYLOR
RMK: BAYLOR (Baylor by 2000.)
CAF: BAYLOR
KENTUCKY (1-0) AT SOUTH CAROLINA (1-0) 0 6:30 PM (SECN)
CDB: SOUTH CAROLINA (Kentucky has won their 2nd game 17 years in a row. Streak gets snapped. Cocks!)
JLB: SOUTH CAROLINA
DRE: SOUTH CAROLINA
RMK: SOUTH CAROLINA
CAF: SOUTH CAROLINA
RICE (1-0) AT TEXAS (0-1) – 7 PM (LHN)
CDB: TEXAS (Texas is bad. Really, really, really bad. But they still have enough to pound the Owls.)
JASON: TEXAS
DRE: TEXAS (After last week, they better win.)
RMK: TEXAS (Texas ain’t that bad.)
CAF: TEXAS
#7 OREGON (1-0) AT #5 MICHIGAN STATE (1-0) – 7 PM (ABC)
CDB: MICHIGAN STATE (Oregon takes a step back this year. Sparty too tough at home.)
JLB: MICHIGAN STATE (Sparty remembers.)
DRE: MICHIGAN STATE
RMK: MICHIGAN STATE (I don’t like the Oregon D. MSU.)
CAF: MICHIGAN STATE
#14 LSU (0-0) AT MISSISSIPPI STATE (1-0) – 8:15 PM (ESPN)
CDB: MISSISSIPPI STATE (Still a Dak fan! Go Bulldogs!)
JLB: LSU
DRE: LSU
RMK: LSU
CAF: MISSISSIPPI STATE
#23 BOISE STATE (1-0) AT BYU (1-0) – 9:15 PM (ESPN2)
CDB: BOISE STATE (BYU used up all their luck in Lincoln last week. Boise State pulls it out.)
JLB: BYU
DRE: BOISE STATE
RMK: BOISE STATE (Boose.)
CAF: BYU
SUNDAY GAMES
PACKERS AT BEARS – 12 PM
CDB: PACKERS (Jay Cutler still the Bears QB? Yes. Packers.)
JLB: PACKERS
DRE: PACKERS
RMK: PACKERS (Pack.)
CAF: PACKERS
CHIEFS AT TEXANS – 12 PM
CDB: CHIEFS (Chiefs are a Super Bowl caliber team. The Texans have Brian Hoyer as their quarterback. Advantage Chiefs.)
JLB: CHIEFS (Justin Houston)
DRE: CHIEFS
RMK: CHIEFS (Baier.)
CAF: TEXANS
COLTS AT BILLS – 12 PM
CDB: BILLS (Tygod over Luck)
JLB: COLTS (Luck)
DRE: COLTS (Luck)
RMK: COLTS
CAF: COLTS
SAINTS AT CARDINALS – 3:05 PM
CDB: CARDINALS (Cardinals. Best defense in the league. At least I hope so.)
JLB: CARDINALS
DRE: CARDINALS
RMK: SAINTS (Aints.)
CAF: SAINTS
LIONS AT CHARGERS 3:05 PM
CDB: LIONS (2 teams that always disappoint. Lions disappoint less in Week 1.)
JLB: CHARGERS
DRE: LIONS
RMK: CHARGERS
CAF: CHARGERS
RAVENS AT BRONCOS – 3:25 PM
CDB: BRONCOS (Broncos get the win at home where the thin air helps prop up Manning’s dead arm.)
JLB: BRONCOS (Donkeys)
DRE: BRONCOS (Manning)
RMK: BRONCOS (GOAT.)
CAF: BRONCOS
GIANTS AT COWBOYS – 7:30 PM (NBC)
CDB: GIANTS (Cowboys never beat the Giants at home. Tony Romo throw 3 picks. Giants roll.)
JLB: COWBOYS
DRE: GIANTS
RMK: COWBOYS
CAF: COWBOYS
MONDAY GAMES
EAGLES AT FALCONS – 6:10 PM (ESPN)
CDB: EAGLES (New look Eagles get by Falcons.)
JLB: FALCONS
DRE: EAGLES
RMK: EAGLES (Bradford hurt on second play.)
CAF: EAGLES
VIKINGS AT 49ERS – 9:20 PM (ESPN)
CDB: VIKINGS (I didn’t know the 49ers still had enough players to even form a team. Teddy!)
JLB: 49ERS
DRE: VIKINGS
RMK: VIKINGS (T Brizzle)
CAF: VIKINGS