Happy Birthday Jen!
Happy Birthday Jen!
Category Archives: Jill
Memorial Day Weekend
I had a pretty awesome Memorial Day Weekend and saw all of the right people. Plus, my grill got quite the workout.
The weekend started with FNSC at my humble abode. The group core was there, plus Jesse and Dawn. Jesse, Willy and I hung by the fire pit until about 2 in the morning.
On Saturday morning I got up early to go to the bank with Mom and Teresa to sign some legal documents involving a safety deposit box.
After that exercise I hit up Salon 908 where I put up a new 20×30 picture in the salon to replace the one that had been sold. While you are waiting for a haircut at Salon 908 now you can stare admiringly at this picture:
I also got a sheering. Now I look borderline presentable. Even though I declined the eyebrow waxing that was offered.
I went home to clean up the kitchen best that I could. I had a Chef coming over to use it that afternoon and while I know that he looks down on my pathetic assortment of kitchen utensils, I wanted the area to be clean while he made magic.
After the kitchen cleaning, I went to Reiman’s Music to take pictures of a white piano for that week’s RWPE.
Next was a trip down to Beaverdale to pick up Sara. Although the Sara pickup also involved taking out her old air conditioner and putting a new air conditioner in her house. This ended up being a more painful process than I wanted it to be, but despite having to remove a nest from her window sill, the air condition finally found its home in her window.
Then was Todd and Peggy’s wedding. They got married on a golf course in Pleasant Hill. It was an impressive affair that included a free round of miniature golf, a photo booth and fireworks.
After the wedding Sara and I went to a bridge overlooking 235 so that I could work on a Personal Photo Project that will be published on July 9. It was from this experience I learned that another criteria that I should look for in photo assistants is the ability to turn a blind eye if I want to do something that is slightly illegal or dangerous. Sara doesn’t like it when she perceives me to be in “danger”. Of course, I already knew this from Personal Photo Project No. 16.
After dropping Sara back off in Beaverdale and doing some final tweaks on her air conditioner installation I voyaged back to Boone. A trip that takes quite a bit longer now that the Highway 17 bridge over the Des Moines River is closed until August.
I was hoping to make it back to Boone to hit the tail end of Nate’s birthday bash at The South Side, marking my triumphant return to the Boone Bar scene for the first time since 2008. However, I pulled back into Boone at roughly 1:40 and decided that it wasn’t worth it to go for 5 minutes. So instead I returned home to the Clockwork Couch and watched the tele.
Shortly after I got home Nate and Bethany returned home. They were both staying with me for the weekend and we talked briefly before they both crashed.
I got up early on Sunday morning and went to church. After church I grilled out with Nate after he returned from a poor round of golf with his friend Ryan. Earlier in the morning I had inadvertently interrupted Ryan’s vomiting efforts. It must have been quite the party that I missed.
Tim had bought a Nate a birthday cake with Nate’s 3rd or 4th grade picture on it. Most of Nate’s picture remained, except Nate’s face. Apparently Ryan had eaten Nate’s face the night before. After we were done grilling, I had some of Nate’s cake.
Later Nate proclaimed that the chicken wings he had made in my kitchen on the previous day were the best that he had ever made. This was a bold proclamation. Just ask Corey Faust if you doubt the veracity of that statement. Nate is going to make these legendary wings next time I go to Minnesota. Looks like I might have to cash in on that when I go see The Swell Season at the end of July!!
After resting from the grill, Jill came over and picked me up. We hit Jen and Derrick’s for a barbecue. Derrick grilled up bratwurst with pineapple in them. It was decided that these brats tasted slightly breakfasty. Even though Webster doesn’t consider breakfasty to be a word. They were still tasty. Plus any chance to eat burgers made with Derrick’s super secret burger recipe is always a great time.
I got to watch the Gorshe Baby Ultrasound for the third time. I still have no clue about the sex of Baby Gorshe, but I enjoy watching the video nonetheless.
After a lengthy discussion about the greatness of Daniel Tosh, we left while Derrick napped on the loveseat.
The next morning I slept in until 9:30. That is a late morning for me, except on the occasional work day. Nate, Bethany and I grilled out for lunch. By this time, my grill was definitely entering the danger area that cause the fire during the 2009 Road Trip Planning Barbecue, but it made it through another meal without incident.
After the meal Nate and Bethany packed up and I burned Bethany a copy of Strict Joy for their car trip home.
I then grabbed my camera and took a few pictures.
After taking pictures I went to the cemetery. At the cemetery I ran into Carla. We walked around the cemetery for about an hour. Then I went home and prepared the house for an impromptu family barbecue.
I didn’t clean the grill, but it did manage to make it through yet one more meal without erupting into flames. I should clean that at some point.
After the family went home I rested on the Clockwork Couch and watched Wooden Shoes. A movie made my a fellow computer miner by the name of Scotland Thompson. If you want a review of the movie, too bad, but I will loan my copy out.
I would like to report to interested parties that do not know yet…
Willy did finish his 100 Mile Race this past weekend.
Willy knocked out 100 miles in La Grange, Wisconsin as part of the weekend of Kettle 100 Endurance Runs.
He ran 100 miles in an official time of 28 hours 24 minutes 29 seconds.
I know, pretty insane!
Vacation Day 8 – The Cinema
I woke up on Saturday morning and decided today was a good day to do yard work. I don’t normally reward myself because just being me is quite its own reward, but I knew that I wanted to work up an extremely healthy appetite for the night’s dining. I was going to The Open Flame with Derrick, Jen, Sara and Cousin Amy.
I’m not a person that embarrasses easy. It is the residue of not really caring all that much what other people think. However, there are a couple things that do embarrass me.
One of the many reasons that I enjoy dining with Derrick is that I know that he will not commit a dining faux pas that will leave me having to make apologies for being seen with the chap. He doesn’t order his steak well done. He doesn’t order boneless wings.*
I was looking forward to grilling a steak rare-medium rare while standing next to a man doing the same thing. After having a healthy portion of The Open Flame’s legendary appetizer Sampler Platter. We’re talking about almost a foot tall of onion rings, potato skins, cheese balls and mushrooms!
Before I could even make it out my door to start on yardwork, my Mom and Grandma pulled into the driveway and headed to my backyard for the year’s first rhubarb harvest.
I don’t want to bore you with too many details of working in the yard. The short version is that I trimmed back the raspberry bushes and removed a few bushes. I might have mowed and run the weed whacker. But the biggest accomplishment really was removing the bushes. I’m particularly glad to be rid of some bushes that were taking up valuable real estate around the gate by my garage.
In between bushes I got a text from Jill wanting to know if I had seen the ultrasound pictures yet. I had not. She told me that she thinks that Baby Gorshe is a boy. I told her I would get back to her after I had watched the video.
After I concluded my yardwork I showered up and headed to the Gorshes.
I looked at the photos. We watched the 11 minute video. It was both in 2D and 3D. I weighed all of the information and came to the conclusion that I have NO CLUE about the sex of Baby Gorshe. Jen did tell me that most people seem to think that Baby Gorshe is a girl, but the more that Jen watches the video the more she is inclined to think that maybe it is a boy. I guess we’ll find out in September.
The Open Flame is as awesome as I remembered it. I can’t quite figure out why I only make it there every few years. This is a flaw in my life that I shall remedy in the future.
The meal was awesome and the conversation was 95% baby. Except for a part where I think I regrettably offended Cousin Amy by referring to The Black Crowes as has-beens. The truth is that I would go see The Black Crowes in concert for like 15 bucks, but not 50.
Although in fairness, there are very few bands I would pay 50 bucks to see.
- UnHingd
The Swell Season
The Foo Fighters
Brandi Carlile
Building 429
Butthole Surfers
Eric Clapton
Norah Jones
Pearl Jam
Pink Floyd
Red Hot Chili Peppers
She and Him
Tom Petty
Jeremy Camp
Tristan Prettyman
Shannon Curfman
Wynton Marsalis
The Smiths (If they ever reunited)
Everybody else that I would pay that much money to see is dead.
Either way, after the meal I was way too full. I considered the possibility that I wouldn’t be able to eat at all on my last day of vacation.
*I admittedly will give a pass to most women in my life for ordering boneless wings because let’s face it, women don’t know anything about chicken wings.
Vacation Day 7 – Couch Time
When I originally was planning my vacation I had set aside this day to make a road trip. I didn’t know where I wanted to go for sure, but I knew that a trip to Wilton and their old timey ice cream parlor was definitely on the list.
I had spent some time with a fellow computer miner and member of the Broken Furnace Support Group Micky in discussing places near Wilton. I had given some thought to visiting a mint shop in Deep River. A really big frying pan in Brandon. I was also thinking about visiting Muscatine to see the Button Factory Museum and the Button Factory Restaurant that was highly endorsed by Micky.
However, after spending an extra day in Minnesota and driving close to 800 miles in those 3 days, plus spending only about 30 minutes of waking time at home on Thursday I decided to just become reacquainted with my buddy the Clockwork Couch.
I vowed not to leave my house until Friday Night Supper Club.
For the most part, I made good on my vow. I sat on my couch and caught up An Artist’s Notebook. I sent Jen a text message wishing her a “Happy Ultrasound Day”. I texted Jill some frog pictures from a Personal Photo Project that will get published in about 3 weeks.
But mostly I tried to reduce myself to a vegetative state while watching movies. It must have worked, because the only movie I can remember watching for sure is Unforgiven. I realize now that I should have made it a western day. Backing it up with The Ox-Bow Incident, Once Upon a Time in the West and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
However, I was only able to sit and do nothing for so long. So I contacted Mercury AKA The Salmon AKA The Dance Machine AKA The Ex-Lone Wolf AKA Willy to see if I could photograph him running.
A deal was brokered and I followed him around McHose Park (in a car) while he ran. I will publish those pictures in 5 weeks, but I will publish some of the other pictures I got while hanging around the best city park in the state.
You should be warned that one of these pictures is brutally frank in its portrayal of the biological function of sex. I suppose that it could be described as pornographic.
Ye be warned!
After our trip to McHose I went home and cleaned up for FNSC. While I was getting ready I got a text from Jen.
“Happy ultra sound day! Everything looks perfect! Don’t know if it is a boy or a girl… It’ll be a surprise.”
That was awesome news!
With news like that it was time to go and cap off a pretty lazy day with a great FNSC.
Vacation Day 5 – The Juicy Lucy
On Wednesday morning I woke up and most of my anger about the Fred Hoiberg hire had dissipated. I had come to accept the fact that while this was mostly a public relations move, there is a chance that it could work. I’m not saying that this is an uncontested breakaway slam dunk. This is more like a turnaround fadeaway with a 7 footer in your face from the baseline.
While it is scary that he will be learning on the job, there is a potential huge upside. He should be able to recruit and he should be able to evaluate talent. 95% of basketball games are won by the team with the more talented players.
I also assume that since Hoiberg has years of NBA experience he will be able to relate to the younger, more talented players and the great exodus of talent from Ames will finally come to an end. Any Biblical scholar can tell you that after the exodus ends it is only a matter of time before the years of wandering in the desert comes to an end.
Even though we will only return 5 scholarship players from last year, I still feel that we will have a better record next year. I’m not sure why I have this optimism, but I have come to peace with the Hoiberg hiring. On Wednesday morning I accepted that it might just work. After all, Hoiberg is a graduate of the nation’s premier land grant university. That fact alone qualifies him for about any job that I can name!
After coming to that conclusion, I got out of bed and took a shower. After Nate woke up we went to Puffy Cream for breakfast. It was excellent, again.
I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stick around, so I contacted Jill about getting supper. She wasn’t sure when she would get off work because her company was enforcing mandatory overtime, even though it wasn’t even Georgia-Texas week.
Eventually it worked out and we agreed to meet at The 5-8 Club at 6:30.
I don’t watch lots of television. I’m always leery of saying that because I don’t want to come off as one of those snobby people who don’t own a television and feel that this gives them a degree of superiority to other people. I can’t stand those people. I’m better than those people.
That being written, I really don’t watch much television. Of the shows that are currently being broadcast on network television, I’ve probably seen a single episode of maybe 10 shows. But on this day, I spent a good portion of the day sitting on the couch watching tv with Nate.
We watched two episodes of The West Wing. Then we watched the show Parenthood. Then we watched the movie Parenthood. Then at about 3 o’clock when Nate was leaving for work, Becca woke up and I watched television with her. We watched local news and she lectured me on why I should watch BBC news because it wasn’t “biased”. I thought this was funny because I once wrote a paper on media bias when I was in college.
At 6:30 I met Jill at The 5-8 Club in Minneapolis. When I was in Minnesota in February I ate at Matt’s Bar with Jim and Bethany. Matt’s Bar and The 5-8 Club both claim to have invented the Juicy Lucy. I was happy that I was going to be able to have both sandwiches so I could determine which one I consider to be the superior burger.
The 5-8 Club
The 5-8 Club was set up a little bit weird. It wasn’t a huge restaurant, but it was of a decent size, but the weird part about it was that you sat yourself. I don’t think that I’ve been in a restaurant this large where you sat yourself.
The place was packed, but there wasn’t a line and a couple of people left as we entered the building, so we were able to get a seat immediately.
I was pretty hungry since all I had eaten on the day was a couple of donuts and some leftover walleye from Houlihan’s. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true. Becca fed me some food that she had bought at Trader Joe’s. A place that Becca is very passionate about. Regardless, I was still hungry.
We ordered mushrooms for an appetizer and I’m not sure if this was a mistake or how they do things, but rather than ranch dressing it came with bleu cheese dressing. I’m not a fan of bleu cheese dressing and this has lead to many a discordant evening with me and Jesse at our favorite wings eating places across central Iowa. However, their bleu cheese dressing was fairly good. It didn’t make me instantly want to vomit like most bleu cheese dressing.
I orderd The Juicy Luicy:
By far our most popular menu item, the Juicy Lucy is a mouth-watering half pound burger stuffed with American cheese. The cheese is HOT – be careful and take your time. Bleu, pepper or Swiss cheese is also available. The wait’s a little bit longer; but we promise it’ll be worth it!
Jill ordered The Saucy Sally:
Lucy’s little sister. Born on May 8, 2005. She making her public debut! A half pound burger stuffed with our secret sauce, and topped with American cheese, shredded lettuce, raw onions, and a smear of Thousand Island Dressing. Make sure you have plenty of napkins.
While Jill was explaining to me her theory on why she is an evolved being, the people sitting in the booth next to ours stopped her. They apologized for eavesdropping on our conversation and then made commentary on why they agreed with Jill’s theory on highly evolved human being.
Really!
Have your own conversation people! I understand that we are probably more fascinating and interesting than you are and it must be hard not to eavesdrop on us, but at least try to have your own conversation.
After we had ate as much food as we could, we waited patiently for our bill. This was the type of joint where you pay the waitress, but our waitress had disappeared. In fact, I didn’t see any waitress. We probably waited for a good 20 minutes before the waitress showed up and said:
“You guys probably want to go home.”
Then a few minutes later she showed up with the bill.
I gave her my Bank of the Bear card. She took it and when she came back to give me the bill she handed me somebody else’s credit card. After hopefully getting the finances of the evening squared away I’m ready to make this proclamation:
Matt’s Bar serves the superior Ju(i)cy Lucy. The 5-8 Club wasn’t bad and I would certainly go back, but Matt’s is superior. At some point I might have to go back to try the Saucy Sally.
After the meal I bid Jill a fond adieu and hit the open road back to the Cyclone State. It was a pretty great 3 days in Minnesota.
Vacation Day 3 – Guinea Pig Denial
I woke up early on Monday morning. I’m not sure if it was the excitement of the forthcoming trip or if the rumors of Greg McDermott’s departure were so exciting to me that I was like a little kid on Christmas anxiously awaiting the chance to rip the wrapping paper off of his new Omega Supreme!
As I prepared for the trip (as much as I always wish that I was a night before packer – I am definitely a 15 minutes before leaving packer) I listened to the local sports talking heads Deace and Miller discuss McDermott’s departure to Creighton. Only they weren’t using words like “potential” or “possible”. They were talking about his departure as being a done deal.
I always liked McDermott. I hoped that he was going to get it done. While almost all of my other Cyclone friends had left the McDermott sinking ship, I was certain that this past year was going to be his season. He had two future NBA players on his roster. A capable veteran point guard. A pair of sharpshooters. A serviceable center. A bench full of athletic underclassmen.
However, it all went downhill very fast. I remember the moment that I knew that McDermott wasn’t going to get it done.
Jill and I had went over to Derrick and Jen’s to watch a movie. Derrick had called me earlier in the day to make sure that we were a “unified front” on being able to watch the Cyclones demolish Northwestern before we watched a movie. Of course we were a unified front!
The only problem was that Iowa State didn’t demolish Northwestern. In fact, they lost to a Northwestern team that was missing one of its best players.
This was a bad sign.
True many Floyd and Eustachy teams were terrible in the early part of the season, only to cohese and become a dominant force down the stretch. After all, the Elite Eight team lost to a bad Drake team.
Only one of the warning signs that McDermott was in over his head at ISU was the disturbing fact that his teams did not become better as the season went along. In fact, they seemed to get worse.
Even though my head knew that this highly touted team was going nowhere fast, I think my heart forced my mouth to utter the phrase “wake-up call”. Only this wasn’t a “wake-up call” for them. It was a wake-up call for me.
The season went downhill fast. A loss at home to UNI. Barely beating Iowa’s intramural team. Barely beating Houston. Lucca leaving in the middle of the season. 4 conference wins.
Then moments after the season was over, Brackins goes pro. Buckley and Hamilton transfer. The NCAA punish Iowa State for being Iowa State and doesn’t grant Gilstrap another year of eligibility.
It seemed like there was blood in the water. The only question was how would Pollard come up with 2.5 million dollars to payoff McDermott?
Only instead of dropping the axe on McDermott like he did on Wayne Morgan (despite Wayne Morgan having 3 straight winning seasons) Pollard gave McDermott a vote of confidence.
Then a month went by and it got weird. Two assistant coaches left. Colvin left. Pollard sent out two enigmatic letters. One to a kid telling him that he understood his concerns about the direction of the ISU basketball team, but his records indicated that the kid didn’t donate money to the athletic department, so bugger off. Then another letter where he blamed McDermott’s inability to keep players (including a finalist for Player of the Year honors that played for Syracuse this year – yeah that hurt to watch) not on McDermott, but on this generation of worthless kids. He started the letter by throwing Fennelly under the bus and ended it with some very fuzzy math. He tried to make the argument that kids transferring is an epidemic, but if you actually do the math with the numbers he provides, the average Division 1 school lost .5 kids to transfer in the last two years. Iowa State has lost 6. Now 7 with the transfer of Boozer.
Then Christmas came. Oregon hired Dana Altman. Creighton wanted Greg McDermott to replace him!
Not only was Iowa State not going to continue its long descent into irrelevance, it wasn’t going to cost us 2.5 million to go in a new direction. In fact, Creighton is going to have to pay us $800,000 for the right to take our problem off of our hands.
The only problem was that I wasn’t going to be in the state to hear the news. I was going to be in Minnesota.
However, I’m a problem solver. After I gassed up the car and picked up some needed supplies for the trip (two bottles of water, a bag of beef jerky and two Whatchamacallits) I texted Baier, Jesse and Schmidt and asked them to let me know when it had become official that McDermott was heading to Nebraska! Then I hit the open road.
I arrived in Eagan at about 11:30. Nate was the only one home and awake.
I had assigned Nate the task of finding us interesting places to eat at during my two day stay in Minnesota. He handed me a magazine with reviews of numerous Twin City restaurants. However, he noted that Bethany strongly favored eating at Chino Latino.
I found the review of Chino Latino. The review stated that Chino Latino served guinea pig! I was in.
After deciding on the dining option for that evening we piled into the car and head to Five Guys for lunch. We had a little bit of difficulty finding it, but when we did finally locate it, it was worth it.
Five Guys is a burger joint. The menu is simple and the food is tasty. I will definitely be going back.
They serve fresh cut potato fries. They put them in a cup, but they also fill the bottom of your bag with more fries.
A “hot mess” but in a good way, not in the Edie Sedgwick way.
It is usually busy enough that they serve you free peanuts while you wait in line.
They also let you know where your potatoes came from.
Simple menu and you get to add whatever toppings that you want!
Bags of Potatoes
Even though we were stuffed, Nate suggested that we visit a White Castle. I’ve always heard that their food is nasty, but I’ve never eaten at a White Castle and I’ve always wanted to try it.
To give our stomach time to process the goodness of Five Guys we headed from Edina to Apple Valley so that Nate could pickup and deposit his paycheck.
Nate banks where Bethany works, so I got to speak with her briefly. When her co-worker wasn’t butting in to tell me about his brother-in-law that used to play football for Iowa State. Only he can’t remember his name, but he rushed for 438 yards in one game. Some people you just have to let speak.
Next stop White Castle!
White Castle
Our sojourn to White Castle wasn’t adventurous and nobody would make a movie about it. We each ordered two sliders.
The hype about White Castle was dead-on! The food is absolutely dreadful. I can’t believe this place stays in business.
We took the rest of the day to rest before Chino Latino.
Jesse called and gave me the fantastic news that it was official. Creighton had given our basketball program the gift of a fresh, new beginning!
Nate called Chino Latino and made a reservation, but found out the sad news that in order to get the guinea pig, Cuy, you had to order it 48 hours in advance.
DENIED!
Luckily Jill was sort of able to provide some recommendations to me. Sort of.
Later in the night Bethany came home and we went over to her significant other’s house to meet up before going to Uptown.
While we were waiting for some people to get ready, Bill called to ask if Creighton had really hired McDermott.
“Yes.”
“Do they know that he had 4 straight losing seasons at Iowa State despite having the greatest homecourt advantage in the nation?”
“They don’t make them very smart in Nebraska.”
“True that.”
7 of us met up at Chino Latino. Beth, John, Becca, Nate, John’s friend Ben and Bethany’s co-worker “V”.
Chino Latino serves equatorial food. That means that the food comes from countries that are on the equator.
Nate really wants to order Fidel’s Capitalist Pig Roast at some point. Which is a teenage pig, if you are the type of person that needs labels.
The food was excellent. Once I saw the $45 price tag, I didn’t feel so bad about the guinea pig denial.
I rode back to Eagan with Becca so that I could see her new car and the cowboy joint where she currently works.
Near Chino Latino
Becca’s Favorite Store
This is kind of how it feels to be riding around with Becca.
Day 3 of vacation was an excellent day by almost all tangible measurement.
Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 15
Superstar
I think I indicated awhile back that I thought that it was a Gorshe family trait that they do something I really like in the test shots. I really like the picture below marked “outtake”.
Superstar Alternate
Superstar Outtake
I don’t usually explain titles, (until later in the comments section) but this time you may know that the title for this picture is a reference to one of Jill’s favorite movies Factory Girl.
The Story
“You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess.No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through
like you do.”-Brandi Carlile (The Story)
Most people know that I am a loner. I keep to myself mostly. Most nights I can be found sitting home alone working on my studies or my projects or watching my shows.
A couple of years ago Jay decided to give one of his friends the nickname “Lone Wolf”. I was quite shocked when this nickname did not come my way. Instead it was given to the social butterfly and vice-mayor William McAlpine.
I knew this was a dreaded mistake. If there was a member of the animal kingdom that best described Willy’s social agenda it was clearly the salmon. Chinook, steelhead, pink or sockeye. I’m not sure which one, but he is definitely a salmon.
However, I made peace with the slight because I don’t have a particular affinity for nicknames.
Then it happened. Jay came to his senses and stripped Willy of the nickname that he did not deserve and placed it squarely on my shoulders. The true loner.
Jay made me a mask and we had a small ceremony where the title was rightfully transferred to me.
I AM LONE WOLF!
However, something hasn’t sat right with me in the few weeks since I became Lone Wolf. I don’t doubt that I am the Lone Wolf. A quick perusal of my social calendar shows that I do little more than go to work and come home and sit on my couch, alone.
I don’t get many emails. I don’t write many emails. I don’t get many calls. I don’t make many calls. I don’t get many texts. I don’t send many texts.
I have 289 Facebook Friends. Not a single one of them can tell you my favorite color, my favorite movie, my favorite show or my favorite musician.
With apologies to Travis Bickle, “Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man…”
I’ve learned to embrace this loneliness. In fact, Jill introduced me to a movie called World’s Greatest Dad. The core message of the movie is summed up near the end with the following voice over:
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
That is my philosophy. Or I should say, that is the philosophy of The Lone Wolf.
But even though I know without the foggiest doubt that I am the true Lone Wolf, it didn’t feel right. Jay unilaterally stripping Willy of his moniker and giving it away. That is a lot of power for one man to possess.
Therefore I am giving Willy a chance to win back his nickname. I have challenged the vice-mayor, the social butterfly, the salmon to a Lone-Wolf-Off!
The month of April will be a Lone-Wolf-Off between the true Lone Wolf and the Salmon. Winner gets the name! (But I keep the sweet mask either way!)
What is a Lone-Wolf-Off? For the entire month of April we will be tracking our social engagements. At the end of the month, an impartial panel (consisting of Jesse, Dawn and Faust) will determine who is the true Lone Wolf.
Therefore, I should point out that for the next 30 days, don’t be distressed if you don’t see me, if I don’t return your emails, phone calls or texts. I’m in full Lone Wolf mode. I will most likely return your correspondence on May 1 when I am celebrating International Worker’s Day!
Although I should point out that at some point in April many of you will be getting an invitation to my birthday barbecue in the mail. It is a well known fact that lone wolves like meat cooked over a fire and the antiquated feeling of using the United State Postal Service.
Last night I went to see Chloe and have dinner with Sara. Since it was my last social engagement for the next 30 days, we took a few pictures to celebrate my Lone Wolfness.
The Lone Wolf is a savage beast.
Insane Enough
But the Lone Wolf also knows how to keep it laid back.
The Lone Wolf – confident, but not cocky.
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwl!!
On a sidenote, since this seems to be the year of nickname stripping, I also think that Willy is also in extreme danger of losing the nickname The Dance Machine.
Jen and Jill can assuredly attest to the following statement:
On Sunday, Derrick set my living room carpet on fire with the dance moves he busted off to the Norah Jones compact disc that was playing on my home stereo.
I would propose a Dance Machine Off between these two gents, but I think we all know that Willy doesn’t really dance. He just likes to pretend that he does.
Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10
I indicated in the first Personal Photo Project entry that the weekly Personal Photo Project wouldn’t always be designing and taking a new picture. This is one of those occasions.
This time the project was cutting and mounting and hanging Psyched Up (Not Out) on the wall.
Psyched Up (Not Out)
To get a print this large made isn’t chump change, so I enlisted the aid of Teresa because she has a much steadier hand than I do. I didn’t want to be on the hook for buying a replacement print if I butchered the cutting job.
Teresa cut the picture down to the dimensions of the window. Then I mounted it to a piece of foamboard, that Teresa had also cut. I placed the picture in the window and strung wire across the back of it.
It was a big enough spectacle that Carla, Johnathan and Alexis came over to witness the picture being placed proudly upon my wall.
Or it is possible that they stopped by because their laptop was broken, but I’d like to think that it was because of the picture hanging ceremony.
I now have a wall of Jill Gorshe body parts! I think that this is where that picture series will end. I’m not sure if Jill would be game for adding to the collection, but I guess if I figure out what needs to go with her foot and hand, I’ll test my powers of persuasion one more time.
My Great Shame
I cited a FNSC ending in My Great Shame a few journal entries back, but I never indicated what was My Great Shame. A few people already know about My Great Shame because I exposed those people to it. I’m not sure if I exposed them because I wanted them to share in my misery or if I was using this exposure as an excuse to continue in my shame.
However, I have been motivated by other people’s strength in the last few weeks to quit my shame. If Jen, Derrick, Jill and Sara can quit or work on quitting smoking, I assuredly could give up my shame. It is after all, not a physical addiction.
I witnessed some of the strategies that others have used to quit smoking. Cinnamon sticks. Only smoking at work. Not smoking at work. I tried in vain to step down with a crutch, but it didn’t work. I had to quit cold turkey.
It was My Great Shame, but I can proudly proclaim that I have been free of its demon clutches for three weeks now.
What is My Great Shame?
The Starz Original show Spartacus: Blood and Sand.
This easily has to be the worst scripted program to ever grace the airwaves. I’m pretty sure that it is written by junior high students hopped up on meth. It is a combination of 3 things: extremely bizarre and gratuitous sex scenes, extremely ridiculous bloody battle scenes and the most pathetically-written-profanity-laced-dialogue ever. The dialogue makes the dialogue in Games and Quietus appear that it was written by Shakespeare.
Despite the fact that it is beyond horrible, I couldn’t stop watching it and I was ashamed. I knew it was clearly beneath me and didn’t belong in the guilty pleasure category like Just One of the Guys.
The best excuse I can give for watching this wretched show was that I couldn’t wait to see what ridiculously stupid thing would happen in the next scene or in the next episode.
I wrote to Andree, Baier and Russell and told them about how I couldn’t stop watching this terrible show. At least Baier and Andree watched it and came to a similar conclusion as me. This was truly the worst scripted program in the history of television.
I decided that I wasn’t strong enough to quit cold turkey. I spent a Sunday watching Stanley Kubrick’s Spartacus and backed it up with Ben-Hur. I figured watching excellent historical drama would cleanse my palette and free me from the grip that this show had on me.
However, while I was watching Kurbrick’s Spartacus I got a text from Jill about how her dad loved Spartacus: Blood and Sand. She had rightfully mocked him for watching this terrible show. I didn’t think that this information would lead to a relapse for me, but it did.
On the Thursday of that week I was at Jen and Derrick’s house. Derrick told me that they were spending the upcoming Saturday with his parents. I was gripped with an uncontrollable urge to expose them to Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I grabbed their remote and loaded up an episode from the OnDemand menu. I fast forwarded through most of the episode and we watched the scene where Spartacus defeats Theokoles.
Then I just told them to ask Derrick’s dad about the show.
I walked out of their house knowing this terrible show was out of my life forever.
The previous Friday was the Jucy Lucy experimental Friday Night Supper Club. Near the end of the night I was aimlessly flipping channels when I came across the brand new episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I told Jay and Willy that they HAD to see this show. Everybody should experience what might be the worst show in the history of television. I apologized to Dawn for subjecting her to such a thing as this show.
Jay and Willy agreed that this show was wretched but it had a certain lure to it. You do want to keep watching to see what extremely bizarre and terrible thing that they are going to do next.
Dawn “pretended” to get a text message in the middle of the show and left.
I woke up the morning following exposing Jen and Derrick to the show and felt terrible about being powerless against the dreadful allure of this awful show. My self-esteem took a beating. I looked in the mirror (not literally) and I quit Spartacus: Blood and Sand.
I walked away from the show that day. It has been 3 weeks now and I finally feel good about myself again.