Category Archives: Sports

The Colo Derby

A couple Saturdays back I traveled to America’s crossroads: Colo, Iowa to take place in a turtle race that I have dubbed The Colo Derby.

My noble steed Titian dominated the competition, but on that day, it would NOT only be the turtles that smelled fishy. If you get what I’m laying down. Nudge-nudge-wink-wink! I’m saying the officiating was terrible. Okay.

Here are a few photos of this most American of travesties.



Most people never get this close to greatness.


Victory. Titian is thy name!


A training lap.


I’m hoping we can make some wishes out of turtle-planes.


The combatants and their steeds. Cathie (left) was the “victor”.

The official results and some dimestore (albeit very accurate) analysis:

1. Cathie’s Turtle (won because some people don’t understand time.)
2. Titian (second place because of the base ugly human emotion called jealousy.)
3. Joe’s Turtle (third place because Joe was afraid to touch his turtle and his turtle didn’t respect him for this weakness.)
4. Michelle’s Turtle (last place because Michelle hates animals and the turtle could sense it and the turtle quit on her.)

After the race was run, I placed Titian back in the 5 gallon bucket from which he came. I am a man. He is a turtle, but I know we made a very special connection that day. Our paths will cross again. We will have our vengeance!

ROUNDBALL ORACLES – YEAR 12

Once again, the Madness is upon us. It is time to put your basketball knowledge to the test and try to take your place upon the list of immortals.

If you are interested in joining this year’s pool. Contact me via email at bennett@photography139.com.

Once again this year, there is no fee.

The champion will win The Roundball Oracles Trophy.

The last place adult (that gave full effort) will receive the Sara Lockner Good Effort Trophy.

League rules, how to get in, past champs below.

Rules

First Round: The weight for each correct pick is 1. The seed of the winning team is added to the correct pick total.
Second Round: The weight for each correct pick is 2. The seed of the winning team is added to the correct pick total.
Sweet 16: The weight for each correct pick is 4. The seed of the winning team is added to the correct pick total.
Elite : The weight for each correct pick is 8. The seed of the winning team is added to the correct pick total.
Final Four: The weight for each correct pick is 16. There is no bonus applied.
Championship: The weight for each correct pick is 32. There is no bonus applied.

Tiebreaker: The total score of the Championship game. Constitution:

Past Roundball Oracle Champions:

2015 – Derek Dohrman
2014 – Brandon Kahler
2013 – William McAlpine
2012 – Lowell Davis
2011 – Carrie Baier
2010 – Mark Wolfram
2009 – Mark Wolfram
2008 – Mark Wolfram
2007 – Tim Peterson
2006 – William McAlpine
2005 – William McAlpine

Past Sara Lockner Good Effort Recipients:

2015 – Derrick Gorshe
2014 – Sara Lockner

AIN’T NO PLACE TO HAVE A BABY



When you got no man to give it his last name…


And her folks back in Manhattan didn’t want her or her bundle…


So she took her child and caught an evening train…


She found a job in Denver washing dishes in a diner…


At least it buys her baby milk to drink…


He once told her she was pretty…


But the only ring it got her…


Was the ring of grease that runs around the sink…


Yes she lay beside him gentle…


‘Cause he told her that he loved her…


And he made her dance before the music played…


But at least she didn’t beg him…


She’d rather wash her dishes…


It makes her feel as if her hands are clean…

5 Favorite Hilton Magicians

This week’s list is my 5 Favorite Cyclone Basketball Players.

For the purpose of this list, current Cyclones are ineligible. If I update this list in a year or so, I would be shocked if Georges and Jameel aren’t on it. Or even Duley. Naz and Matt and Monte in 2 years. Maybe even Deonte.

There is something I do love about every current Cyclone. However, this is a list about the past. Let’s get to it.


5. Royce White

Royce only played for Iowa State for 1 year, but he put Iowa State back on the map. he was the most unique basketball player I’ve ever seen. He was built like a defensive lineman, but the guy had handle and incredible court vision. The only other Cyclone that could ever pass like Royce White was Jamaal Tinsley. Strike that. The only other college basketball play I’ve ever seen that could pass like Royce White was Jamaal Tinsley.

The reason Royce will always be one of my favorites is that after what felt like an eternity wandering the desert, Royce White took Iowa State back to the NCAA tournament.

When Creighton, thankfully, took the UNI grad that was posing as a basketball coach off of ISU’s hands, Fred Hoiberg took over as the head Cyclone. I was livid at the time. I thought it was a gimmick. A publicity stunt. Iowa State would stink for 5 more years and then we could hire a real coach. Then in 5 more years, we might be decent again.

I first began to have faith in Hoiberg when he signed Royce White. I was a believer when Royce leads us back to the dance.

Royce’s team lost to the eventual National Champions the Kentucky Wildcats. In a game that featured about 7 future NBA lottery picks, all playing for Kentucky, Royce White was the best player on the court.

One of my all-time favorite plays in Cyclone history was when Royce White blocked a shot, rebounded the ball, dribbled the length of the court and then dunked it.

Then he beat his chest and yelled at the crowd, “I’m the best player.”

He was. It makes me sad to think what Iowa State could’ve done if Royce had returned for 1 or 2 more seasons.


4. Marcus Fizer

Fizer is probably the best player in Iowa State history. I believe he is the only McDonald’s All-American to ever play at Iowa State. He didn’t start his career out like a future lottery pick, but when he got it going, he was the star of the greatest team in Cyclone history.

That team won both the Big 12 Regular Season Championship and the Big !2 Tournament Championship.

Iowa State would get shafted with a 2 seed for the NCAA Tournament and be placed in the same region as the unanimous #1, the Michigan State Spartans. To make matters worse, the Elite Eight matchup was basically a home game for the Spartans.

Iowa State still probably would’ve won that game, but (similar to Bill Self) Tom Izzo travels with his own personal refs. In the final minutes, the refs called a Blarge and fouled out a key Cyclone.

Don’t know what a Blarge is? It is because it is a made up BS call to steal our National Championship and give it to Michigan State.

To this day I hate everything about Michigan State. They can burn that school down, and that I would show up with marshmallows and graham crackers.

That being said, Fizer was the Big 12 Player of the Year and a First Team All-American. His dunk on Texas center Chris Mihm was one of the greatest plays in Cyclone history.


3. Jamaal Tinsley

Tinsley was Fizer’s running mate. Although Monte Morris (when he is done) might have something to say about this, Tinsley is the greatest point guard in Cyclone history. He was also perhaps the greatest winner in Iowa State history.

Tinsley played 2 years for Iowa State. He never lost a game in Hilton Coliseum. Iowa State also won 2 Big 12 Regular Season Conference Championships and 1 Big 12 Tournament Championship while Tinsley was at Iowa State. He helped lead Iowa State to the Elite Eight and there is no reason to talk about the following year’s NCAA Tournament.

It just wasn’t Tinsley’s success that causes so much affection for him. Tinsley was a New York City guard. That means that his game had flair. He had the best handle of any player I’ve ever seen (in college). He had the ability to make anybody that tried to guard him look foolish with his vast array of moves. On more than one occasion, he dribbled the ball between a hapless opponent’s legs on his way to the hoop.

It was just so much fun to watch him play.


2. Melvin Ejim

There are many reasons I love Melvin Ejim. One of the reasons is that he was a student-athlete. He is the first Big 12 Player of the Year in history that was also an Academic All-American.

Melvin holds the Big 12 Single Game Scoring Record by scoring 48 against TCU. Most of those points were scored by thunderous dunks.

Ejim also is a perfect example of hard work and determination. Every year he got better. Every year.

He is one of only 3 Cyclones to have 1,000 career points.

When Ejim graduated he was Iowa State’s all-time leader in wins. (Niang has since eclipsed this record.) He was part of 3 NCAA Tournament teams, including a Sweet Sixteen run his senior year.

But more than anything, Melvin Ejim is just the kind of person you want representing your alma mater. Intelligent, eloquent, hard working, and capable of delivering soul shattering dunks.


1. Dedric Willoughby

Willoughby is my favorite Cyclone of all-time, but by the slimmest of margins. On any given day he could be swapped with Ejim. However, on this day, I’m giving Willoughby the nod. Willoughby’s staying power comes from 2 facts.

1. He was the best player on the first Iowa State basketball team I loved.
2. With apologies to Naz (and maybe Monte), Willoughby was the most clutch Cyclone in history.

Willoughby’s Cyclones were a ragtag bunch of players that were seemed like they came out of a Hollywood sports movie. Kelvin Cato – the shot blocker. Shawn Bankhead – the defensive stopper. Jacy Holloway – the point guard that doesn’t shoot. Kenny Pratt – the greatest junkballer ever.

If you saw these guys on the basketball court, you’d never expect them to win a game, but they won the final Big 8 Tournament Championship.

Willoughby was this team’s sharpshooting leader. He is the only Cyclone to make more than 100 3 pointers in a season. His teams played at a considerably slower pace than the current Cyclones too.

It saddens me how few Iowa State fans remember Willoughby now. That is okay, we have to appreciate what we have now too.

Honorable Mentions

  • Diante Garrett
  • DeAndre Kane
  • Jeff Hornacek
  • Paul Shirley
  • Dustin Hogue
  • Rahshon Clark
  • Chris Babb
  • Curtis Stinson
  • Kenny Pratt
  • Shawn Bankhead
  • Stevie Johnson
  • Michael Nurse
  • Kantrail Horton
  • Jeff Grayer
  • Elmer Robinson
  • Barry Stevens
  • Terry Woods
  • Will Blalock
  • Jackson Vroman
  • Kelvin Cato

But as always, feel free to express your own opinion in the COMMENTS section below.

With the Beefcake Pantyhose

You can look at this collection of losers for RED from the WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE in a couple of different ways.

Either I just wanted an excuse more pictures of my dog.

OR

Well that is interesting.

You see, there is a setting on my camera that drops out all other colors but red. It is far from 100%, but it creates interesting images.


RED-LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RWPE - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

Oh… also a picture of my trip to Hilton with Jen, Derrick, Evie, and Layla thrown in at the end there.

WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE – WEEK 10 – WORK

There was a bit of a falloff in participation this week, but that was to be expected. I fear this week’s theme will really scare people. That is okay, everybody needs to get out of the comfort zones once in a while.

This week’s submissions:


WEEK 10 - WORK - CARLA STENSLAND
Carla Stensland

WEEK 10 - WORK - KIM BARKER
Kim Barker

WEEK 10 - WORK - LAURA MILLER
Laura Miller

WEEK 10 - WORK - MICHELLE HAUPT
Michelle Haupt

WEEK 10 - WORK - MIKE VEST
Mike Vest

WEEK 10 - WORK - SHANNON BARDOLE
Shannon Bardole

WEEK 10 - WORK - CHRISTOPHER D. BENNETT
Christopher D. Bennett


Angie DeWaard

WEEK 10 - WORK - BECKY PERKOVICH
Becky Perkovich

This brings us to the time where we reveal this week’s theme…


WEEK 11 - RELIGION
RELIGION!

I told you it would be something that isn’t in everybody’s comfort zone. However, I hope there is still a good amount of submissions.

Time for a definition:

religion – noun – a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

And of course… time for a couple of housekeeping notes from PHOTOGRAPHY 139’S SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION DIVISION.

Michael Houlihan has become the latest person to show taste, class and sophistication by becoming a Photography 139 subscriber. So if you see Michael prowling the mean streets of Ames, Iowa you can give him a knowing glance and of course, the super secret Photography 139 handshake.*

Other sidenote, only 1 person responded positively to the return of the Proust Questionnaire, therefore it will not be making a December return. Take that Proust!

*A loyal subscriber has volunteered to create a Photography 139 handshake. They will then run their creation by my handshake expert. It is possible, that there will be a video on how to do the handshake in the nearish future.

Incidental

Here are a few pictures I like that come from New Toy, but don’t fit into any particular narrative.



Went to Hilton Madness with Willy and Derrick.

Fizer and Frese mixing it up with the young pups.


Youth Room


Mike, John, and Tim at the Event Formerly Known as the Methodist Men Steak Fry.


A packed house.


View staring out my living room window.


Teresa’s paint.


Ernie painting.

The New Toy has come in handy now and again. I think it is a keeper.

Taco Tailgate

In honor of Tacoctober a few friends from the mine and I held a taco tailgate before the Iowa State-Texas Christian football match recently. It seemed like a good time to squeeze off a few shots on the new toy.

Here are a few shots from Taco Tailgate 2015:



Since it is well established how I feel about koozies, my chums made sure I got one. Any way, anybody want a bottle koozie?


Jorge and Joe, placing the goodness on the grill.


More goodness.


Waiting for the goodness.


Houlihan chopping up the meat.


One of the mascots of Taco Tailgate.


Taco goodness!


Most of the tailgating equipment in years past has been provided by the Brog Frog Tailgating Company. Since they have closed down for business, I had to scramble for equipment this year. I found this table in my Mom’s garage. It is the perfect size for the trunk of my car.

Plans are already in motion for Taco Tailgate 2016.Play your cards right, you might just wrangle an invite. We are going to add a second taco recipe and hopefully upgrade some of our equipment. High on the want list is a tailgating canopy and a better grill. The fight goes on.

New Toy

We recently held an auction at the Computer Mine. The one thing in the auction that I really coveted was a blue Canon A4000 IS. I’m not a Canon guy at all. However, I’ve been sans point and shoot for a couple years now and there are times (like mission trips) where a little point and shoot would come in handy. While it isn’t the most powerful camera, I thought if I could get it for $50 bucks (while it retails for $150) I could slum and add a Canon to the arsenal.


I am notoriously tough on point and shoots, so hopefully it will last me a couple years or so.

I thought I would crack it out and document my weekend, to get a feel for it. Below are those pictures.



Spirit Week Super Dog! (Photo by Jorge Rios)


Spirit Week Gyro! (Photo by Joseph Lynch)


Seriously! Data migration call 10 minutes before I’m off!


Houlihan takes over my data migration! (Photo by Joseph Lynch)


Commitment to consumerism.


Supplies for Friday Night Supper Club


Willy grilling. Naima observing.


Firetub Swan Song… Or is it?


Breakfast with Mom at The Legal Limit. She loves having her picture taken.


Finally getting the studio put back together. Might re-do the 9 Emotions Project.


This is what $150 or so looks like.


Helping paint Teresa’s house.


Yeah. Nice try Cyclones.


Happy birthday Greg!


Worshiping an Awesome God!


Thinking about Fall Project #1.


Assisting with Jay’s Ice Skull Project.


Preparing for the Weekly Photo Challenge Photo Shoot.


Stan bringing over some firewood. Naima greeting him.


John grilling at the event formerly known as The Methodist Men Steak Fry.


Monday morning. Back to the grind.

I couldn’t wait for Monday night when I finally got a chance to breathe and have a small bit of free time again.