First 10 Things I’d Do if I Won the Lottery

With the lottery topping out over a billion dollars recently, the “what would you do if you won the lottery” discussion has been at an all-time high at the day job this week. Therefore I will start this new list experiment with the extremely unoriginal topic of what would I do if I won the lottery.

I should start with the caveat that I don’t actually play the lottery.

The lottery is a self-imposed tax designed to move the tax burden from the wealthy to the poor and uneducated.

I will throw a couple bucks into the lottery pool at work because if those guys somehow win, I don’t want to be the only person that has to show up for work on Monday.

Here are the First Ten Things I’d Do if I Won the Lottery:

1. I wouldn’t tell anybody.

For at least the first two days I wouldn’t tell anybody. Not a single soul. Okay, I’d tell Naima. She is pretty good at keeping secrets. Then I’d start setting a plan in motion.

2. Hire a lawyer, financial adviser, and a personal assistant.

I don’t know any lawyers or financial advisers like the kind I would need. I would start quietly interviewing lawyers and financial advisers without them knowing it. If they treated me well without knowing I was filthy rich, then they would have a chance at being hired. I don’t need anybody that is nice to me to be nice to my money.  That is essentially the downside to suddenly becoming wealthy. I’m the type of person that would never trust a new person coming into my life at that point.  At least not 100%.

As for the personal assistant. I’d be done answering my phone. I wouldn’t be able to handle all the people that  would be coming out of the woodwork to get at me. I’d need a buffer between me and the rest of the world.

I have a few friends that I know hate their job. A few of them might make great personal assistants. I’d start with who I think would be the best at it. If they weren’t interested, I’d go to the next person. Whomever got this job would need to be a friend first and then they’d have to work very hard. This job isn’t a handout. My text messages are known for their quality. No slippage would be allowed.

3. Tell friends and family.

Not all my friends and family, but the inner circle. Or to completely (and shamelessly) steal a phrase from a friend: I’d tell the ones that have the key to Monicaville. I do know exactly who is on this list. That is one of the quirks of living the life I’ve lived.

After telling this small group of people, then I’d be ready to turn the ticket in and collect my winnings.

4. Have the best lotto winner’s press conference ever.

I’m going to let the people that are going to come out of the woodwork looking for money, not to bother. Boone Booster Club. Yeah, I’m not buying you a new football stadium. You have enough money. What’s left of Boone’s Music Department, you can expect a big check. University of Iowa, don’t bother calling. Iowa State University. There is a check coming your way.

5. Pay off debts of immediate family.

I don’t care if they owe $100,000 or $10. If you are in my immediate family, you no longer have any debts.

The question you might want to ask is this: How do I define immediate family?

I won’t tell you now, but there will be a day when I write about this subject and the people who taught me what family means and how that word is properly defined.

I’d also pay off my debts as well.

6. Give max tax free gift to friends.

If you didn’t learn about my winning the lottery at my awesome press conference, then I’d be giving you the maximum amount of cash that I can give you without you having to pay taxes.

There are no strings attached. You want to use that money to buy hookers and blow. Whatever, floats your boat. If you want to use that money to buy Nebraska season football tickets, you aren’t getting any money next year.

7. Buy block across the street from my church.

“My” church is fairly landlocked right now. However, there are several crumbling buildings across the street from it. We actually own one of those buildings and when what happens to that ruin gets decided I expect their to be lots of fireworks.

So I’d just take this controversial topic off the docket of all future church meetings.

I’d buy all the buildings across the street. Tear them down and build a new building with a full-sized basketball court. A real basketball court. None of that carpet on the floor of the court garbage (I’m looking at you Open Bible). The rest of the building I’d let somebody else design, but it would be designed as a place for youth activities and any other program the church wanted to run.

I’d also be righting large checks to the American Diabetes Association and the American Cancer Society. Crawford Hall would probably get a decent check at this time.

8. Invest in the businesses of friends.

I’m probably not going to throw a ton of money their way, but for my friends that run their own business I’d throw a little Angel Investment their way. I would possibly consider helping a couple of friends who are amazing cooks open restaurants if that is something they would like to do.

If that is what it takes to get Scottie D.’s pulled pork pizza, then that is what I’ll do.

9. Call Jamie Pollard.

I’d  want the same football seats. I don’t really like sitting with rich people because it has been my experience that rich people don’t really like me. Something about being able to form my own opinions rather than cow-tow to their opinions.

However, I’m going to need good seats for men’s and women’s basketball. I don’t need my name on any buildings, but he could put my Mom’s name on the training table.

I’d also like to see what kind of donation it would take to consider getting rid of the terrible I State logo and going back to something cool. Walking Cy!

10. Quit my job.

I’d give my current employer 2 weeks notice.  I’d want to be paid for all the PTO I’ve banked. Yeah it is a drop in the bucket compared to the 800 million I have in the bank, but I earned that money. I value that more than money I won. After all, one of the greatest evils in this country is unearned (inherited) wealth. I’m not that guy. If I ended up broke so be it.

I often here people say that if they won the lottery they wouldn’t quit their job because they wouldn’t want to lose their health insurance.  If I’m starting with $800 million in the bank, I think I can afford my own health insurance.

Plus I can tell that my dog misses me during the day. She’d be super pumped.

Sure I’d miss a few of my co-workers. That is why I would take the ones I like on an all-expenses paid vacation once a year. I’m sure they’d be fine with closing down the Network Engineering Department once a year. Right?

 

I think that about covers my first 10 actions if I’d won the most recent lottery. Now the next 10 things I’d do… Some other time.

Next week’s list will either be my 10 favorite Photography 139 images or I’ll rank the Rocky movies from worst to best or something else.

Pre-Work

I would hazard to guess that these buses are among the most photographed subjects in Boone County (adjusted for teenage-girl-selfie-inflation).

Right up there with the Kate Shelley High Bridge, the High Trestle Trail Bridge, the Boone Scenic Valley Railroad, and Ledges State Park.

I have a plan for photographing them, this photo is the result of a scouting trip.


Abandoned Buses

You’ll be seeing these buses again.

PARTICULARS

CAMERA: SONLY SLT-A65V
LENS: DT 18-70mm f3.5-5.6
ISO: 100
FOCAL LENGTH: 70mm (105mm – 35mm)
APERTURE: f/7.1
EXPOSURE: 1/160
DATE: 12-27-2015 14:23
LATITUDE: 42.00823°
LONGITUDE: -93.89162
ALTITUDE: 319.2 me3ters above Sea Level

Playground

I was recently commissioned by longtime patron of Photography 139 Scottie D. to take some candids of his children for a Christmas present for his wife. I believe her name to be Wife.

We took a few hundred of them playing. This is one of my favorites.


I’m sure I will have a few more to share from this photo shoot.

PARTICULARS

CAMERA: SONY SLT-A65V
LENS: 28-80mm f3.5-5.6
ISO: 1600
FOCAL LENGTH: 20mm (30mm in 35mm)
APERTURE: f/5.6
EXPOSURE: 1/1000
DATE: 12-12-2015 – 10:34
LATITUDE: 42.03891°
LONGITUDE: -93.88699°
ALTITUDE: 348.3 meters above Sea Level

An Irrevocable Condition

Often times when I put calendars out into the world, I worry about what kind of home it will receive. Will it be loved? Will it be adored? Will it end up on a wall with tons of writing on it?

Recently I received a couple text pictures of Photography 139 Calendars in their new homes.

While it might seem that I’m soliciting such images, I am not, but I do love getting them.

Here are those 2 images, Photogrpahy 139 Calendars. Home.



Colleen’s Calendar


Becca’s Calendar

I’m glad to see these calendars have found good, loving homes in Arizona.

Daisy Bush

Oh… why not take a look at another flower from the Iowa State Fair?




Don’t worry. I’ll be out of these by next year’s State Fair. I’m almost to the picture that got me kicked out of the flower garden.

PARTICULARS

CAMERA: SONY SLT-A65V
LENS: 60mm F2 MACRO
ISO: 1000
FOCAL LENGTH 60mm (90mm – 35mm equivalency)
APERTURE: f/4
EXPOSURE: 1/160
DATE: 08/22/2015 -18:31
LATITUDE: 41° 35′ 41.1″
LONGITUDE: 93° 33′ 4.5″
ALTITUDE: 242.22 meters

WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE – WEEK 17 – TEXTURE

Considering that this week’s theme was the most accessible, I feel like the amount of submissions isn’t too shabby.

Let’s have a look at the submissions for TEXTURE:


WEEK 17 - TEXTURE - ANGIE DEWAARD 1
Angie DeWaard 1

WEEK 17 - TEXTURE - KIM BARKER
Kim Barker

WEEK 17 - TEXTURE - MICHELLE HAUPT
Michelle Haupt

WEEK 17 - TEXTURE - ANGIE DEWAARD 2
Angie DeWaard 2

WEEK 17 - TEXTURE - CHRISTOPHER D. BENNETT
Christopher D. Bennett

But what is this week’s theme? Scroll down:


WEEK 18 - STORE
STORE!

There are multiple definitions of STORE. When this theme was written, Humble Narrator was thinking about a place you go and buy things, but you can define the word in any way that speaks to you.

Since we are several weeks in, we should have a rules refresher.

RULES

1. The picture has to be taken the week of the theme. This isn’t a curate your pictures challenge. This is a get your butt off the couch (my personal experience) and put your camera in your hands challenge.
2. Your submission needs to be emailed to bennett@photography139.com by noon on the Monday of the challenge. It should be pointed out that this blog auto-publishes at 12:01 on Mondays. So it wouldn’t hurt to get your picture in earlier.

That is it, them’s the rules.

HOUSEKEEPING

PHOTOGRAPHY 139 SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION DIVISION

There is a new email subscriber to celebrate this week. Sarah Karber has shown her keen intellect and sophisticated tastes by becoming a Photography 139 email subscriber. Sarah once worked for the Smithsonian and she got her Divinity degree from Vanderbilt. In short, she is one of the most fascinating people I know. So if you see her out and about walking the mean streets of Boone, feel free to give her the knowing glance and show her the super-secret Photography 139 handshake.

PHOTOGRAPHY 139 SUPER-SECRET HANDSHAKE DIVISION

I haven’t heard any reports from this division for quite some time. I think they’ve given up.

BLOGGING NEWS

A reminder that while I’m not posting these in AN ARTIST’S NOTEBOOK AKA The Journal AKA this here blog, the 2016 SELF-PORTRAIT PROJECT (or as Russell calls it THE SELFIE PROJECT) is ongoing and you can check in on it over yonder:

2016 SELF-PORTRAIT PROJECT

On Saturdays, I’m going to start publishing lists. This won’t be shared on any social media. It will be kind of a perk for being an email subscriber. Well, maybe a perk. Maybe a torment. I don’t really have real strong plans for it, but I’m sure you’ll be able to look forward to my opinions on things I know about (the best tenderloin spots in Iowa) and things I don’t really know about (I’m not really sure what qualifies here) to things I don’t really care about, but other people do (ranking the best STAR WARS movie to the worst).

Well, stop reading this and get out and take a STORE picture!

With the Beefcake Pantyhose

You can look at this collection of losers for RED from the WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE in a couple of different ways.

Either I just wanted an excuse more pictures of my dog.

OR

Well that is interesting.

You see, there is a setting on my camera that drops out all other colors but red. It is far from 100%, but it creates interesting images.


RED-LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RWPE - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

RED - LOSER

Oh… also a picture of my trip to Hilton with Jen, Derrick, Evie, and Layla thrown in at the end there.

Kobe

A picture of something broken down and old. From my Aunt Linda’s farm.




As you all know E’s here to rule… No wait that isn’t right.

As you all know, I love rusted out old stuff. I will need to photograph this farm more thoroughly at some point.

PARTICULARS

CAMERA: SONY SLT-A65V
FOCAL LENGTH: 60mm (35mm equivalency – 90mm)
ISO: 500
APERTURE: f/4
EXPOSURE: 1/100
DATE: 11/20/15 – 14:44
NO GPS DATA

Osteospermum

It has probably been too long since I posted a picture from the Iowa State Fair flower garden. Better remedy that:


Iowa State Fair Daisy Bush

Daisies have always been one of my favorites to photograph.

PARTICULARS

CAMERA: Sony SLT-A65V
FOCAL LENGTH: 60mm (35mm equivalency – 90mm)
ISO: 1000
APERTURE: f/4
EXPOSURE: 1/160
DATE: 08/22/2015 18:31
LATITUDE: 41° 35′ 41.2″
LONGITUDE: 93° 33′ 4.5″
ALTITUDE: 242.25 meters

Self-Portrait Project de 2016

I’m starting a self-portrait project where I take a self-portrait every day for 2016 with New Toy*. At the end of 2016 I will compile these into a video and you can witness how time ravages this beautiful visage.

These photos are not meant to be particularly ambitious. Just me, in my ordinary backgrounds of my life.

It is possible that if you attend a party, wedding, mission trip, or sporting event with me, you could get drug into this project as well.

I should note that due to my history with point & shoot cameras, I will be surprised if I finish this project and don’t break New Toy before 2016.

Here are the first few images:


I won’t be posting these pictures on a regular basis, but if you feel so inclined, you can follow along as I post them to their gallery. Click link below:

2016 Self-Portrait Project

*Not really new at this point.