I Further Celebrate Myself




This is mostly a rehash of the “Save the Date or Don’t” Post from last Saturday. A few updates. In italics.

Only a handful of you understand the photo I posted to start this post. But that is okay. You might understand in a few weeks, or you might just be even more confused.

Almost all the pieces are now in place and the Birthday Invitation Photo Shoot has been scheduled for this week. Now we’re playing with fire! I hope Torgo doesn’t lose his hand!

Here is the information that you need to know. My personal Edith Head, my personal staff man, my personal Torgo, my personal technology team, and my personal photographer are hard at work currently devising invitations for my birthday gala.

Edith Head is done. Experiments ran by the makeup team based on Edith Head’s suggestion have been deemed a success. The Staff Man has made tremendous progress. The staff (as far as I’ve seen it) is beautiful.

That is right! After a several year hiatus… it is back!

After consulting, friends, family, a gopher, a toreador, my personal astrologist, a numerologist, a phrenologist, Hoodie Club, Nature Squad, Friday Night Supper Club, and The Dawg Pound I have settled on a date for this event.

MAY 14

So this is sort of a “save the date” only, believe me, I would never be so presumptuous as to ask somebody to save a date. This would be more like a consider this date. Or don’t. I understand that you have to live your life and walk. I would expect nothing more and nothing less, from you my friend.

What can you expect at this event (besides my arrogance)?

My arrogance has only grown in the last week. Some woould say that it has grown unchecked.

Well, details are being hammered out.

However, there could be such fun activities as:

Food from an award winning barbecue team. I have signed one member of the award winning barbecue team Baby Got Rack to a contract. While that isn’t the whole team, the guy I signed is clearly the George Michael of the team. Trust me. I didn’t sign Andrew Ridgeley.
Food! From other sources. Like my Mom.
Keg beer! Of the root vintage.
Cornhole! No horseshoes.
A dog! (Naima has confirmed that she will make an appearance. Unless she gets a better offer.)
Music. Most of it clean! At least 63%. (That Master Playlist is currently over 1,000 songs. If you wish to suggest a song for the Master Playlist, I suggest that you suggest in the COMMENTS section.)
A Christopher D. Bennett trivia game. Winner to get a semi-fabulous prize. You better start trying to figure out my favorite band… now!
A tent! (I have confirmed it. I own a tent.)
Stimulating conversation! (My idea for guaranteeing this is to create a section of the yard where people can talk about vaping. If they leave that section of the yard, they cannot bore people with incessant talk about coils and formulas and amps and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!)
Other people! (Maybe. After people see the invitation, it just might be you and me. But if its the right you and the right me, that’s cool.) Well, one person has RSVPed sorta. So 2 of us will be there.
A photo booth! With props? (Work in progress. At best.)
A new firepit! (Probably a temporary new firepit.)
Sidewalk chalk! (I’ve priced it.)
A finely manicured lawn! (Spring-Green has applied the year’s first treatment. My lawn. It is the thing of daydreams.)
A bounce house. (I mean stranger things have happened.)
Convenient parking! (Unless more than 3 of you show up.)
Zero pressure to RSVP!

So keep your mailboxes peeled on your eyes for the invitation of what will surely be one of the biggest events at my house that month!

I wouldn’t start peeling them yet. The photo session hasn’t even commenced yet.

6 thoughts on “I Further Celebrate Myself”

  1. My guess (I’m going to abbreviate for anonymity, but please delete if you prefer):

    M, H of F?

  2. Angie, it isn’t meant to be a mystery. Every smart, well educated, American should instantly see a picture of The Master or Torgo and instantly know that there is something afoot about the independent film classic Manos: The Hands of Fate.

  3. Shannon,

    Good on tents. Unless people decide they want to camp in my backyard. Which would be weird, but cool. I’m not sure I will be hosting any out of town visitors. But bed assignments will be determined by Bennett Priority Points. I don’t think it will come to tents.

    Although a nice canopy, (you know the types that are used at tailgates) would hit the spot.

    Photo shoot will be Wednesday night if you are interested in attending.

  4. By tent, I actually meant canopy. I have two of those. I mean, I have a tent to take camping, but that’s not what I meant. You can totally borrow both of them if you want. Looks like I may be available Wednesday evening. Let me know the place and time.

  5. I’m planning on leaving work around 4. Should hopefully get started around 5.

    Will start at my place.

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