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Mark

The Taiwan Times – March 2010

The Taiwan Times

By Mark Wolfram

Reporting on God’s Mission in Taiwan

Next Year

Greetings to all of you from Taiwan.  First, the big news is that I have decided to return to Taiwan for another year of service.  God continues to bless my time here, and I look forward to next year and some changes that it might bring.  This means that I will again start to work on fundraising for next year.  I thank you all for your support through prayers, encouragement, and finances.  I know God has blessed me with an incredible support group back in the U.S. and God has used you to help continue the mission that is happening here in Taiwan.  If you do feel like you want to contribute to God’s mission here in Taiwan, I will include information at the end of this newsletter.

India Mission Trip

In this month’s newsletter, I would like to write about a short term mission trip I was involved with back in February.  Over Chinese New Year, I had the privilege of traveling to India for 2 weeks.  The first 9 days were devoted to mission work in the south, and the final 5 days I was able to go up north to New Delhi for some site-seeing.  I traveled in a group of 10 people.  Matthew, Kevin, Anna, Petrea, Beka, Heidi, and myself are all missionaries serving in Taiwan.  We were joined by two Taiwanese friends, Judy Yang who teaches at the elementary cram school, and Christy Lu, who is a friend from Friday Night Bible Study.  Finally Andrea Bolignini, who serves as a missionary in Hong Kong, completed our group. 

While in India, we were able to meet up with Dave and Beth Hoeppner, who are currently serving there to work on English Bible Curriculum Development.  Dave and Beth were a tremendous help with every day needs and coordinating service opportunities.  The trip was an amazing experience both in terms of ministry and culture.  There is no way to full encompass all that happened in this one newsletter, but I will touch on the highlights of the trip.  I’ll start with some quick cultural facts about the country.

Much of the ministry coincided with English learning, which in itself is common in ministry throughout Asia.  However, unlike most Asian countries where learning English is often used for international communications, Indians learn English to open lines of communication within their own country.  Due to previous occupation by the British, English is common place in India.  But, each state or province also has their own language that is the primary language of that area.  So, in India the urgency to improve English opens up doors and communication with the other states in the country.  We worked assisted with English learning with deaconesses, pastors and seminarians, and with elementary students.

Deaconess Conference

One of the primary purposes of this trip was to lead an English conference for deaconesses who attended the Indian Evangelical Lutheran Church (IELC) Pastor’s conference.  Most of these deaconesses were pastor’s wives who had made the trip to the conference with their husbands.  We helped them practice and learn English over three days by leading them in song, Bible study, and other activities.  Some of the songs we taught them include God is So Good, and To You Oh Lord.  All of the activities helped to provide much needed English practice, and still helped us all focus on God and his love.

One activity we did was making witness bracelets.  Using thread, the ladies looped and tied yellow, black, red, white, green, and purple colors to make a bracelet that is colorful, but also tells the story of God’s love.  Below is a guide to show what each color represents:

Yellow: God made everything perfect

Black: People sinned, and now we all have sin

Red: Jesus’ blood, which was shed when he died on the cross

White: We are forgiven

Green: God gives us faith and we grow closer to him

Purple: Royalty, God is king now and forever, and we are his children

The ladies enjoyed making these bracelets and chatting while we created them.  I pray that they will be a tool that they can use to witness Christ’s love to people they meet in India.

Pastors and Seminarians

We also had a lot of interaction with the pastors and seminarians in southern India.  Again, many times we interacted with them to learn more about their ministry, or to help them practice English.  Sometime this involved fun activities, including eating meals together, going to shops, and even playing cricket.  Cricket was a personal highlight of mine, as it was my first time playing the game, and even though I didn’t always know what I was doing, it was fun to get out there and have fun.

God provided us with a great chance to help in their ministry when we went to their Gospel Centers.  Every Friday, the seminarians spilt up into teams and go to different homes and villages in the city and the surrounding area.  Our group also split up into pairs and were able to go to the 5 different centers with the seminarians.  I went with Judy Yang and we went to a rural village outside of the city.  The village was extremely poor and animals wondered around on the path running through the village.  The homes were made of straw or hay.  There were 3 seminarians with us, and we helped them to tell a Bible story, sing some songs and play a game.  The children were very energetic and full of smiles, and it was a great chance to tell them that Jesus loves them.

As we interacted with the seminarians, we had the chance to learn many stories about how these men of God came to faith and how God is using them in the ministry.  Some even shared stories about persecution that they are facing in India.  One man, Stanley Joseph was a particularly friendly and helpful fellow.  He specializes in children’s ministry, realizing that they are the future generation of the church.  Stanley shared a story about persecution he faced, when he attempted to show a video about Jesus to some people in his home state.  As they watched, the people grew angry and threw rocks at the screen.  They then tried to throw rocks at Stanley and his friends as they tried to leave in their car.  Stanley also told us that a new law had been passed in his state, in which Christians who were in a non-Christians home and trying to evangelize, could legally have one of their hands cut-off if they were caught doing this.  Please pray for the pastors of India as they minister to their congregations, and the seminarians as they study and work at Gospel Centers. 

English Medium School

English teaching opened up another opportunity to witness the love of Christ.  On the seminary campus is a private school called the English Medium School.  This is a school for elementary students, and all of the classes are taught in English, to help build

the children’s base at a young age.  It is only in its second year of being open, but enrollment greatly increased from the first to second year.  We went to the school two days, and lead an assembly each day.  At the assembly we sang songs and performed a couple of skits for the students.  We also broke into pairs and traveled to the classrooms leading the students in more songs, reading Bible stories, teaching about Chinese New Year, and helping them to perform a skit. 

Each day, we also had the chance to meet with the principal, Dr. Johnson.  He is a strong man of faith who is on fire for the Lord.  He talked with us about the school and its mission to educate the youth, love them, and teach them about the love of Jesus.  He shared one story that really stuck with me.  The school has one student who has a disability in her legs, and therefore cannot walk.  Dr. Johnson told us about when the parents first came to the school. 

The girl’s family was a Hindu family, who had even named her after one of the Hindu gods.  When they came to the English Medium School they were desperate for help.  Their daughter had been denied entrance into the other schools in the area because of her disability.  They felt as though they had nowhere to go, and feared that her condition was some sort of punishment.  Dr. Johnson, told the parents that his school would take her and they would love her.  He also told the parents that she was not a curse or punishment, rather her condition was a blessing.  It was a blessing that God would use to show his glory.  It would bring the family closer together, and be used for God’s purpose. 

The child attended the school last year, and is now in her second year at the school.  Once, she had to go to the hospital for an operation.  Dr. Johnson told us that her parents were worried and scared, but that this girl had faith in God.  Before entering the room for the operation, she asked to have Dr. Johnson pray with her.  The operation went well, and she continues to attend the school.  Dr. Johnson said her faith in Jesus is strong, and that the family now views it as a privilege to take care of their daughter.

These are just three examples of ways in which God is working in the lives of the people in India.  Honestly, I could write more stories and share more examples that God presented to share the Gospel in India, but I feel as though I have written a lot already.

It’s Prayer Time

  1. Please pray for the pastors, deaconesses and seminarians in India who are sharing the Gospel and face persecution. Pray that God would keep them safe and bless their efforts to share his love.
  2. Pray for Stanley Joseph as he completes seminary this year and will be a pastor next year. Pray for God to prepare him and to use him to further God’s kingdom.
  3. Praise God that I will be returning to Taiwan for another year of service.
  4. Pray for an upcoming moving project that my fellow missionaries and I are working on. It is a modern retelling of the Prodigal Son.
  5. Pray for my students, that I may boldly share Christ with them in my words and actions.
  6. Pray for new missionaries to come to Taiwan next year. We are replacing several teachers and pray for God to fill those spots.

Financial Support

If you would like to support the mission work out here in Taiwan, I need to raise funds for next year.  I do not have an exact figure yet, but it will most likely be similar to last year’s which was $9,500.   If you feel called to support in this regard, please send a check to:

Missionary Support
LCMS World Mission
1333 S. Kirkwood Rd.
St. Louis, MO 63122

On the memo line for the check please write “Mark Wolfram account #50152”.

Thank you for your prayerful consideration of this matter, and for your prayers and encouragement.  May you all have a blessed Easter!

Mr. Mark Wolfram
Concordia Middle School
31 Chien Kuo Road, Section 2
Min Hsiung, Chia Yi County 621
Taiwan ROC 
Animals, Dawn, Macro, Shannon, Vest, WPC - Submissions, Writing

RWPE #12 – Signs

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The submissions for last week were a little bit slim, but I think there are some good submissions in there:


IMAGE LOST
Dawn Krause

WEEK 12 - SIGNS - MIKE VEST
Michael Vest

WEEK 12 - SIGNS - CHRISTOPHER D. BENNETT
Christopher D. Bennett

Dawn’s Poem

Signs

Follow the signs of your heart
They tell me that way’s better
Tissues falling to the floor
It seems the way that’s wetter

Follow the signs of your Lord
And forever walk in grace
I followed true and faithful
The devil stepped up his pace

Follow the signs of your soul
Peace in your days will follow
Wary the dangers lie below
Try not to think too shallow

Follow the signs of your pulse
Trust you won’t break asunder
Rainbows fade to pouring rain
Leading to days of thunder

Follow them all not on their own
To glorious days ahead
Trust the signs calling to you
Allow yourself to be led

Almost all of the RWPE themes can be done with an el cheapo camera or a camera phone. There is no reason why a person couldn’t think creatively and come up with a way to get around this week’s borderline techinical theme, but I should at least explain what this week’s theme means, technically.

This week’s theme is:

MACRO

What is macro photography?

To quote Wikipedia:

“The classical definition is that the image projected on the “film plane” is close to the same size as the subject. On 35 mm film, the lens is typically optimized to focus sharply on a small area approaching the size of the film frame. Most 35mm format macro lenses achieve at least 1:2, that is to say, the image on the film is 1/2 the size of the object being photographed. Many 35mm macro lenses are 1:1, meaning the image of the film is the same size as the object being photographed.
In recent years, the term macro has been used in marketing material to mean being able to focus on a subject close enough so that when a regular 6×4 inch print is made, the image is life-size or larger. With 35mm film this requires a magnification rtion of approximately 1:4, which demands a lower lens quality than 1:1. With digital cameras the actual image size is rarely stated, so that the magnifcation ration is largely irrelevant; cameras instead advertise their closest focusting distance.”

The best way to think of the technical way to look at this project is that macro photography is close up photography of something that is small.

Here is an example:


Of course as always, feel free to interpret macro any way that you want.

Alexis, Art, Carla, Jill, Johnathan, Personal Photo Project, Teresa

Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

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I indicated in the first Personal Photo Project entry that the weekly Personal Photo Project wouldn’t always be designing and taking a new picture. This is one of those occasions.

This time the project was cutting and mounting and hanging Psyched Up (Not Out) on the wall.


Psyched Up (Not Out)
Psyched Up (Not Out)

To get a print this large made isn’t chump change, so I enlisted the aid of Teresa because she has a much steadier hand than I do. I didn’t want to be on the hook for buying a replacement print if I butchered the cutting job.


Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

Teresa cut the picture down to the dimensions of the window. Then I mounted it to a piece of foamboard, that Teresa had also cut. I placed the picture in the window and strung wire across the back of it.


Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

It was a big enough spectacle that Carla, Johnathan and Alexis came over to witness the picture being placed proudly upon my wall.


Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

Or it is possible that they stopped by because their laptop was broken, but I’d like to think that it was because of the picture hanging ceremony.


Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 10

I now have a wall of Jill Gorshe body parts! I think that this is where that picture series will end. I’m not sure if Jill would be game for adding to the collection, but I guess if I figure out what needs to go with her foot and hand, I’ll test my powers of persuasion one more time.

Andree, Baier, Dawn, Derrick, FNSC, Jay, Jen, Jill, Movies, Russell, Sara, Willy

My Great Shame

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I cited a FNSC ending in My Great Shame a few journal entries back, but I never indicated what was My Great Shame.  A few people already know about My Great Shame because I exposed those people to it. I’m not sure if I exposed them because I wanted them to share in my misery or if I was using this exposure as an excuse to continue in my shame.

However, I have been motivated by other people’s strength in the last few weeks to quit my shame.  If Jen, Derrick, Jill and Sara can quit or work on quitting smoking,  I assuredly could give up my shame. It is after all, not a physical addiction.

I witnessed some of the strategies that others have used to quit smoking.  Cinnamon sticks. Only smoking at work. Not smoking at work. I tried in vain to step down with a crutch, but it didn’t work. I had to quit cold turkey.

It was My Great Shame, but I can proudly proclaim that I have been free of its demon clutches for three weeks now.

What is My Great Shame?

The Starz Original show Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

This easily has to be the worst scripted program to ever grace the airwaves.  I’m pretty sure that it is written by junior high students hopped up on meth. It is a combination of 3 things: extremely bizarre and gratuitous sex scenes, extremely ridiculous bloody battle scenes and the most pathetically-written-profanity-laced-dialogue ever.  The dialogue makes the dialogue in Games and Quietus appear that it was written by Shakespeare.

Despite the fact that it is beyond horrible, I couldn’t stop watching it and I was ashamed.  I knew it was clearly beneath me and didn’t belong in the guilty pleasure category like Just One of the Guys.

The best excuse I can give for watching this wretched show was that I couldn’t wait to see what ridiculously stupid thing would happen in the next scene or in the next episode.

I wrote to Andree, Baier and Russell and told them about how I couldn’t stop watching this terrible show. At least Baier and Andree watched it and came to a similar conclusion as me. This was truly the worst scripted program in the history of television.

I decided that I wasn’t strong enough to quit cold turkey. I spent a Sunday watching Stanley Kubrick’s Spartacus and backed it up with Ben-Hur. I figured watching excellent historical drama would cleanse my palette and free me from the grip that this show had on me.

However, while I was watching Kurbrick’s Spartacus I got a text from Jill about how her dad loved Spartacus: Blood and Sand.  She had rightfully mocked him for watching this terrible show. I didn’t think that this information would lead to a relapse for me, but it did.

On the Thursday of that week I was at Jen and Derrick’s house. Derrick told me that they were spending the upcoming Saturday with his parents.  I was gripped with an uncontrollable urge to expose them to Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I grabbed their remote and loaded up an episode from the OnDemand menu.  I fast forwarded through most of the episode and we watched the scene where Spartacus defeats Theokoles.

Then I just told them to ask Derrick’s dad about the show. 

I walked out of their house knowing this terrible show was out of my life forever.

The previous Friday was the Jucy Lucy experimental Friday Night Supper Club. Near the end of the night I was aimlessly flipping channels when I came across the brand new episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I told Jay and Willy that they HAD to see this show. Everybody should experience what might be the worst show in the history of television. I apologized to Dawn for subjecting her to such a thing as this show.

Jay and Willy agreed that this show was wretched but it had a certain lure to it. You do want to keep watching to see what extremely bizarre and terrible thing that they are going to do next.

Dawn “pretended” to get a text message in the middle of the show and left.

I woke up the morning following exposing Jen and Derrick to the show and felt terrible about being powerless against the dreadful allure of this awful show.  My self-esteem took a beating. I looked in the mirror (not literally) and I quit Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

I walked away from the show that day. It has been 3 weeks now and I finally feel good about myself again.

FNSC, Scottie D.

Fount

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When I recategorized the entries in this journal, there is one category that was sorely aching to be added, but I decided not add it because I was a tad bit fearful.

You? The Great Christopher D. Bennett was fearful?

I know it seems an unlikely turn of events, but it is true. The category that struck me with a small degree of trepidation was food. Go ahead, go to the website. Look at the list of categories. You won’t find food listed.

Why? Because I’m scared to know how many of my little adventures circulate around stuffing things down my pie hole.

Yet, in the next few weeks I might be launching a second blog with my eating chum Scottie D.

A couple Saturdays back we arranged a lunch trip to BK’s in Ogden to knock down what we both consider to be the state’s best tenderloin. This was going to conclude a weeklong food vacation for Scottie D. He had spent the early part of the week visiting the Twin Cities eating Jucy Lucies. Then he took the family down to Kansas City to Blanc Burgers and Bottles to have what he considers to be the greatest burger in the world.

I’m not sure if Scottie D. really wanted to go to BK’s or if he was avoiding going to a birthday party where he might run into a guy by the name “The Sleeve”. If you know the tall tale (actually sick and twisted story) of The Sleeve, you know why Scottie D. was looking to avoid the shindig.

On the day that we were going to make the pilgrimage to Ogden for tenderloin bliss Scottie D. called me and wanted to know if instead of O-Town if it would be okay if we went with his friend “House” to Stanhope to try a restaurant up there that was getting rave reviews.
I’m always on the prowl for new places to eat, so I agreed to the change of venue. On the way up there House enthralled us with tales of a pizza joint just a tad further up the road in Kamrar that was excellent.
We ate at the restaurant in Stanhope and it was decent. They had some intriguing appetizers. We tried their Reuben Bites. They were good, but the cheese was not Swiss cheese. It was some bland tasting yellow cheese. Most likely cheddar. My burger was tasty, but Scottie D. did not enjoy his burger. He cited the steak sauce on it.
After we left the restaurant Scottie D. proposed the unthinkable – The Double Lunch!
I was game. I’m not sure if Scottie D.’s motivation was unquenched appetite or he just had a burning desire to avoid the lasciviousness that surrounds The Sleeve.
Either way, we continued our journey up Highway 17 to Kamrar.

We pulled up to the pizza place and saw this awesome sign:


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Pickles Pub

The sign was attached to kind of a dump looking building and I had some concerns. It has been my experience that some of the best food is served at the biggest dives. I was hoping that this would be another one of those times.
We opened the outside door and it opened into an entry way. The entry way looked and felt like it was going to come crashing down upon us at any time.

I was definitely leery at this point, but ventured on inside to find…

Something rather shocking. The inside was roomy and beautiful. The woodwork was nice and fancy and appeared to have been recently done.

We ordered some Pickles Fries.


IMAGE LOST
Pickles Fries

They were much tastier than this horrible phone picture portrays.

We also ordered up a taco pizza.  Their pizza was thin crust and this was easily one of the best taco pizzas I’ve ever had in my life.  The only thing that was strange about it was that they didn’t cover the whole pizza with lettuce, chips and tomatoes.  They only covered the center. 

It was a great pizza and I have already decided that Pickles Pub is where I’m taking FNSC when it is time for my birthday FNSC.

On the way back to Boone I was uncomfortably full.  I was further made uncomfortable when Scottie D. finally told me the story about The Sleeve became known as The Sleeve. It is a story that I have recounted to a few other unfortunate souls because I believe that misery loves company. 

After his tale, Scott declared that we should start a blog where we tell people where the best food is in central Iowa.  I agreed to take part in this experiment even though my experience with starting group blogs (see The Sports Proletariat) has been decidedly negative.

However, if I think positively, I will be buying a new domain name and starting up a blog with Scottie D. in the near future. Hopefully it will go somewhere.

The best way for it to go somewhere is to enlist the aid of others. What we need is scouts.  If you have tried an excellent place and you think we might enjoy it, let me know and we will let you know if you are right or not. 

Scouts that show particularly good taste in picking locations might even get to move up to the level of contributors some day.

Becky, Carla, Dawn, Jesse, Julie, Music, Steph, Vest, Willy, WPC - Submissions

RWPE #11 – Motion

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This week we have a first time contributor in my sister Carla.  She did break the one and only rule of RWPE (the picture has to be taken the week of the project) but I’ll let it slide since it was her birthday last week.

This week’s submissions:


WEEK 11 - MOTION - MIKE VEST
Michael Vest

IMAGE LOST
Carla Stensland

IMAGE LOST
Dawn Krause

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Becky Perkovich

IMAGE LOST
Julie Johnson (In Flight)

WEEK 11 - MOTION - CHRISTOPHER D. BENNETT
Christopher D. Bennett

Although as a general rule I don’t like to comment on my RWPE, I will point out this time that this picture is completely motivated by the fact that Stephanie Kasper would be abnormally freaked out by it.

Julie has started a blog and I wanted to include a link to her blog so you can enjoy much more of her photography, writing and just general Julieness. For those of you that are like me and can’t get enough Julie Johnson (despite being treated for the medical condition) click on the link below:

The Joy is in the Journey

Dawn’s Weekly Poem

Motion

The tenderness you want to convey
Revealed itself in your words today
It beckons me to come out to play
But lingers for you to lead the way

Why don’t you put your plan in motion
And show me your secure devotion
Seduce my mind with romantic notion
Your signal is that magic potion

The theme for this week is:

SIGNS

Hopefully we continue to get lots of contributors. This is a fairly accessible subject, but of course there is no reason to be literal. There are all sorts of different kinds of signs in the world. Maybe the CEO of the William McAlpine Excuse Factory will even grace us with a contribution.

For those who had the same idea that I had, I looked it up. Tesla isn’t touring right now. Darn the luck.  I guess I’ll have to look for another subject that will be “blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind. Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign.”

History, Jen, Mom, Shannon

Family History Week

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This has been a week where I have unexpectedly walked down family history lane.  That continued this morning when I went over to assist in the installation of my Mom’s new fridge.  She showed me a newspaper clipping from the February 6 edition of the Boone News Republican.

The clipping was part of the column Kelley’s Korner. It read:

We heard from lots of folks this week, many from this area and a few from afar… one clear down in Luther.

We talked awhile back about the Centennial production and conjunctive beard contest and that brought a reply from Jacksonville, Fla. of all places.

Former residents Terry and Sheryl Johnson left Boone four years ago to reside in Jacksonville and, by the way, in August, they’ll celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.

Terry and I worked together many years ago at the “older” BN-R.

Anyway, Sheryl, the former Sheryl Paris, recalled how she and Terry were kidnapped following their wedding ceremony, Aug. 27, 1965.

Yes, a group of Boone men dressed as bearded “Keystone Cops” captured the pair and drove them down the center of Story Street with sirens blasting and red lights flashing.

Their wedding worked, unknowingly, right into the Centennial scene.

Sheryl said, “We were put in a portable jail cell and released only after we were interviewed in front of a large crowd of folks shopping in downtown on a Friday night. Wasn’t that the greatest? All the many stores open and people doing lots of visiting as well as shopping.”

Sheryl said that lots of people thought their little excursion was a rehearsed thing. It wasn’t. It was organized by her brother-in-law, Gerald Bennett.

Gerald was one of the candidates in that beard contest that was part of the Centennial.

This was a family story that I did not know, but it is one that I will have to add to the family story repertoire. A fitting conclusion to a week that started with telling Jen a series of family stories (The Secret Wedding, Grandpa Firing Dad, The Half-Sister, Cousin Troy Comes to Teresa’s Wedding to name a few…) and is certainly more heartwarming than the “You’ve Eaten. That is what you were here for. Get out!” story that I told Shannon during the kitchen downsizing on Wednesday.

Basketball, House, Jay, Jesse, Linda, Movies

A Clockwork Couch

In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.

Have a look:


A Clockwork Couch
Living Room Changes

As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.

The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though.  Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.

Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!

If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”

If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”

I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”

Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.

After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.

Final NCAA Bracket Chance

Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: bennett@photography139.com and I will see that you get all the necessary information.

Basketball, Jesse, Movies, Nader, Shannon, Writing

L.A. Story

Many of you know Nader’s story. It is an amazing story, but the thing I always have the hardest problem believing is that while he was being held as a political prisoner in an Iranian prison he could be happy that Henry Fonda won an Oscar.

I’m pretty sure that if I was held in prison for 6.5 years without the benefit of a trial and constantly under the threat of execution I could care less who won an Oscar.

Nader recently made a trip out to L.A. while the Oscars were going down. Here are a few of his pictures from the trip.


Nader's Trip to L.A.
Hollywood

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Kodak Theater

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Nader with Leonard Maltin

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Nader and his favorite – Charlie Chaplin

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Nader and Mary Hart

Nader's Trip to L.A.a>
Inside the Kodak Theater

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Nader with the Oscar Statues from the ceremony. The day after the Oscars.

Nader's Trip to L.A.
The Star of Funny Face.

Nader's Trip to L.A.
Star of West Side Story

Nader's Trip to L.A.
The room where the fist Oscars was held.

Nader's Trip to L.A.
The hotel where the first Academy Awards was held.

Nader did not get to see the Oscars up close and personal. He visited the Kodak Theater a couple of days before the Oscars and tried to talk to a guy that Jesse knows, but that only resulted in a long conversation (interrogation) with a member of the security team.

NCAA Tournament Reminder

If you want to enter the Roundball Oracles NCAA basketball pool email me at bennett@photography139.com and I will send you the requisite information. No money is required to enter and basketball knowledge is hardly necessary either. This has been proven by many people over the years.

Biography Challenge

I’m doing a small amount of pro bono photo work for a local community theater group. Apparently I have to write a small bio for the program. This is what I’ve come up with so far:

Christopher D. Bennett is making his debut to the world. Before this moment he has lived in a cave outside of Boone, Iowa and subsisted on his foraging skills. He has most recently been involved in theater by sitting in one and watching movies, but being sure to sound pretentious enough by constantly referring to it as “the cinema”. As if referring to himself as Christopher D. Bennett didn’t make him pretentious sounding enough. It is also his great fear that being involved in this production will undermine his authority to make fun of people involved in Community Theater. Christopher does not enjoy being a Jaycee, but thankfully that dreaded curse has almost come to an end. He is the Vice-President of the Boone United Methodist Men, a job that comes with zero responsibility. That is considered a perk as Christopher comes from a generation that is fearful of responsibility and garlic. Christopher works at a computer mine in southeast Ames where his greatest fear is contracting the dreaded silicon lung. Christopher enjoys spending time with Shannon Bardole’s cat Franklin, but not necessarily Shannon Bardole. She gets crabby when she is tired or hungry. Christopher is also feared on playgrounds and gymnasiums around this nation for his unstoppable crossover dribble, unlimited shooting range, tenacious rebounding and lock down defense. There is no truth to any rumors that he starred in a series of “After Dark” films under the name “Hammer”. However, there is much veracity in the oft told legends of his numerous facial hair experiments.

If you can come up with something better or think that I need to modify or add something, place your suggestions in the comments section of this journal entry.

Thanks!

Also, if you could tell me what my favorite game show is, that would be great as well.