I’ve learned a few things toiling in the computer mine. The most valuable bit of new knowledge I have gained is how completely worthless UPS is as a shipper. I’ve learned that if you have an option other than UPS, be it Federal Express, DHL, Speedee Delivery, or a crackhead with a mule, you are better off with the crackhead and their mule than trusting anything with the boys in brown.

The most recent thing that UPS has managed to smash into little tiny bits was an HP Laserjet 4100. No small feat considering that this printer is mostly made out of metal. No cheap feat either considering that this printer used to damage a guy’s wallet to the tune of a thousand bucks.

The latest destruction by UPS did allow me to test myself. You see back when I used to work nights at the Dasher Mismanagement dive in Boone I was the master of Milk Crate Toss. I could throw a milk crate into the corral from 70 feet, easy. Nobody could top me for distance and accuracy.

This skill has not come into play much in the last few years, but once I got my hands on that LJ 4100 I knew I needed to see if I still had it. I had Jesse snap some photos of me testing me. It was dark, so these pictures are what they are:

It makes me wonder how I would still fair in events where I was competitive but not dominant. Events like Jug Kicking, Ditch Hockey or Playplace Tag. I already know that if Jeff Vickers and I were ever to walk onto a Paper Towel Football field we would still dominate the competition.

I’m sure I would be remiss if I failed to point out that my near infinite range with the milk crate did lead me to once hitting The Edge in the head with a milk crate from about 50 feet. Although I felt bad and did take him to the emergency room to have staples put in his head, I still have to admire the throw.