CMC – Miami Beach

At 7 AM on my birthday I loaded up on to a plane and flew to Miami Beach for the annual Computer Mine Convention. It is the biggest convention of the year for Computer Mine customers. They don’t come just to see us, but they come to see our competitors or other products that aren’t even related to us. I spent a lot of time under the brutal fluorescent lighting of the Miami Beach Convention Center, but I did get out and about to have a few adventures. I thought I would share some of my cruddy cell phone pictures from the almost 7 days I was gone from home.


Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Our layover was in Atlanta.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
An altitude of -140 feet doesn’t seem ideal.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A limo driver holding my name up at an airport. I’m a pretty big deal people!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Santiago was the Man! He also took us back to the airport a week later.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
We stayed at the Plymouth Hotel. I only have 4 things I look for in a hotel. #1. A bed. #2. Free Wi-Fi. #3. Free breakfast. #4. A good shower. It had 2 of the 4. But it did have a swanky retro vibe.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
The closest I got to the ocean. I thought we would be back. I thought wrong.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I was told we would probably see boobs on the beach (by undisclosed person). I’m just bringing this up to cutoff the inevitable question about topless beaches I might get later. There were no uncovered boobs on the beach I saw. Sorry if this disappoints you.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
The owner of this van is killing it. I mean that metaphorically. I don’t think they are a serial killer. But in Florida, you never know.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
First Miami Beach meal at Sultan. Cost about $20. It was delicious.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Lowell and Tony really, really, really hate this thing. I think it is hilarious. Bad art, but hilarious.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Kim’s new hat.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
That was like $16. It is Kim’s drink.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
$10 with free refills. And it was Pepsi! Bingpot!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
The raw material for nightmares.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
The special wardrobe I bought for the Marlins game. 3 compliments on this outfit from strangers.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Whatever stadium the Marlins play in was okay. Not great, but okay. For a dome.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Seats were first row on the third base side.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
So much amazing neon in Miami Beach.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
This might have been my favorite meal on the trip. Cost was $15.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
If I remember correctly, this is called Mount Miami.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
So many micro cokes in this town. At an Italian restaurant on the Lincoln Mall. It was very fair. Costed about $30. Service was less than fair.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Computer Mine meeting.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
There is a lot going on here.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Guess how much this cost me?

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
We never got to ride in Sexy Uber, but our Uber driver to the Cuban restaurant had 2 Jacquelines on the hook.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Did you guess $122? Then I probably already told you. It would have been more, but Carlos (the creepy waiter) forgot my dessert and Lowell paid for one of my sides.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Inside the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A German booth a couple aisles down. They had some creepy stuff.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Germans man.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Best outfit in the convention center.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
The drink Derek is holding cost $21.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A tanned, bronzed god. With aching feet.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Sculpture across the street from the Plymouth.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I literally took this picture because I thought we were never leaving for the Cuban restaurant.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
But we did!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Restaurant recommended by our doorman.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
These shrimp stuffed plantain appetizers that Tony ordered were maybe my single favorite thing I ate on this trip.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A Cuban. I was going to try something else, but in the end, I love a good Cuban. I don’t think I have had one since the Cuban fries incident that happened in Indianola. I haven’t forgotten Andy. I’m close to forgiving.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Math. This meal cost $30.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I appreciate good bathroom art. Someday I may even tell you about the outhouse I found in Unionville, Iowa. If you have the guts to take it!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
One of the side effects of the pandemic is that I forgot that smokers even existed.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Miami Beach from the beach. At night.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Inside the convention center.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
This is the Computer Mine Booth Closet. It is a magical place. It is where the snacks are. It is where you hide from regressive weirdos that don’t think women should have the right to vote and that the wife’s job is to do whatever the man wants them to do… hypothetically speaking. However, to the disappointment of one customer, there is not a port-a-potty in there.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
If you say so.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
If you say so.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Another micro-Coke.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
This pisses me off! You don’t put the Gambler in a corner. You don’t cover him with a ladder.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
This mural was in Sweet Liberty where the sales team hosted a party. Free appetizers and micro-Cokes! The tacos here were one of my favorite things I had on this trip. Cost to me, yeah I already said it, free!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I ghosted on the party (well Tony saw me leave) to try to hit the Miami Beach Botanical Garden before we lost the sun, cause the closer you are to the equator, the earlier the sun sets in the summer, cause the earth isn’t flat. But by the time I got there it had closed and wasn’t going to open again before I flew out Tuesday morning. The humanity!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Although that sucked, it did lead to me visiting the Holocaust Memorial which was extremely powerful. Germans man.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
That night I walked to a nearby Walgreens to buy some postcards (hopefully some of you have received them by now) and some ibuprofen. On my way back to the Plymouth I was nearly hit by a cop car stopping at the Abbey Hotel. A few of our staff were staying there. By the time the cop cars stopped showing up, there were 9 cars and a fire rescue truck. I’m not sure what happened, but rumor has it involved a few women fighting over the same man. I hope it was not Jacqueline1 and Jacqueline2 fighting over our Uber driver. The next day the couch in the lobby was covered in plastic and then the day after that it disappeared.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I just don’t see the connection, but I love it the same.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
This empanada I ate at the convention center was by far the worst thing I ate on this trip. With a regular sized coke it was $11.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A computer mine competitor’s booth.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
After the show, we tore down our booth. Within and hour, all of our crates showed up… except for one. We got them packed up and then we waited for the last crate.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
And waited…

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
While we waited Amy was kind enough to bring us pizza so we didn’t starve…

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
And this thing… which she questioned why I photographed… beyond the obvious reasons… I photographed it to send a picture of it to Elizabeth as she is a noted cheese fiend… it is fresh mozzarella… Elizabeth thought it was gelato… which wasn’t the last time gelato would come into my life that night…

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Then after 3 hours… the crate arrived… Not really. Tony walked around the convention center and found our missing crate just sitting there next to a bathroom and brought it back to us. While Tony is definitely a hero, I wonder if his crossing a union line might lead to a hit being put out on him by the Teamsters. I kept my distance from him just in case.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Outside of the convention center. But we weren’t allowed to go in those doors. We had to walk completely around the building to the other side. I know, times are tough.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
A theater near the convention center.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
After getting back to the hotel, I rested briefly and then went to a store to get some touristy stuff. A magnet for my fridge. More postcards to mail out. A couple stickers. One for my 2022 Log Book and the other I’m holding onto until I get new luggage. They also sold some sweet shirts.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I texted a picture of this shirt to Jen and she described it as classy. I agree with her.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Bought one of these for Tony cause they were in clearance and he asked me to pickup anything that said “Tony or Shannon”. Not that Shannon, but Tony’s Shannon. Tony’s Shannon does roller derby, which is badass. Ball is in your court not Tony’s Shannon.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Elizabeth mentioned gelato and gelato came to me. The universe looking out for me.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Sorry Elizabeth, no malts, only shakes.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I ordered Banana Nutella.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I’ve been hacking on the alcohol drinkers on this trip for spending $22 on a drink cause I’m cheap and I don’t drink alcohol. But this shake cost me $14. Hypocrite much? Maybe, but it was delicious. Although frankly more liquidy than an Iowa shake.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I wish I could take this home and put it in my yard.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Jeez lady, cover up, there might be a DeSantis voter in the neighborhood.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
So much great neon in Miami Beach.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Goodbye Miami and the worst airport experience I’ve ever had.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Flying home, well right by home.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
If you are from Boone, you are genetically programmed and morally obligated to take a train any chance you get. The Minneapolis airport.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
I had 5 compliments on this shirt that Teresa made for me.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Saylorville!

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Had to do some tenderloining at Ted’s Coney Island on the way home. $15.

Miami Beach Work Trip - May 2022
Baklava!

On the flight from Miami to Minneapolis I shared by dream of putting one of those take one-replace-one libraries on my front lawn and fill it with banned books to Amy. She worried that in a town like Boone, somebody might burn it down. I’m sure it would be fine. You can say a lot of disparaging things about Boone, but it isn’t a backwards hick town like Ankeny.

If you want to see plenty more cruddy cell phone pictures I took on my trip, click on the link below:

Miami Beach – 2022

Tony asked me how many pictures I took on this trip at one point. It was over 500 cell phone pictures. I also took a far less number of pictures on my real camera. Some of those will be coming any day, week or month from now. Sometime after the Renaissance Fair pictures I’d reckon.