John Oliver Jokes for Teresa

If you don't like jokes about politicians having sex in public bathrooms after proposing a bill that would ban sex in a public place and their only excuse for having sex in a public bathroom is racism, you might want to skip this video. I'm posting it because I think John Oliver is hilarious and he is coming to Ames!!! Can I get a witness from the congregation?

Eclipsed

Thanks to Jay calling me at 3:30 in the morning I was able to drag my self out of bed and head out to the Harrier Marsh Wildlife Management Area. This has long been one of my favorite places to go sky watching and Tuesday morning found it abandoned. Perfect conditions.

I did manage to take a few pictures, but confess to not be particularly satisfied with any of them, but I did learn tons and I look forward to the next lunar eclipse. What I got is shown below. It should be noted that most of these pictures are fairly heavily cropped so don't think I was packing a super long lens out there. Perhaps I'll get such a lens for next time.

The People's Choice - Round Two

I appreciate the input from the ten people who answered my call to help select my entries into the Pufferbilly Days Photo Contest. Thank you.

After one round of feedback, 4 pictures have been overwhelmingly voted into the Pufferbilly Days Photo Contest. However, I can enter 6 pictures. So I'm looking for feedback on those last two pictures. I have placed the 5 pictures that all tied with the same amount of votes for 5th place. Please take the time to select two of those 5 pictures that you think I should enter into the Pufferbilly Days Photo Contest. The five contenders are:





"Cloud Sans Color"





"Faux Sunset"





"Franklin"





"Darrell's Place"



"Clouds with Color"




One last request. Please don't vote for both cloud pictures. It might muddle the issue.

Watch the skies, everywhere! Keep looking. Keep watching the skies!

The final lines from one of my favorite movie is the title of this entry. I will give 2 points* to anybody that can tell me the title of the movie from which that quote came. However "my favorite movies" isn't the topic of discussion of this brief foray into the world wide web. It is the sky.

To put it in plain English, it is what you will see if you look at the sky tomorrow. A lunar eclipse.

Want to see the lunar eclipse? Then check the graphic below (that I lifted from the NASA website) for showtimes in the CST!







I know a lunar eclipse isn't as impressive as a solar eclipse just like how a moonroof isn't as impressive as a sunroof. However, there won't be a solar eclipse anywhere near Boone or one of its suburbs (Ames, Ogden, Madrid, Zook Spur, Frasier, Jordan, Ridgeport, Logansport, or Boonesburough) for a little less than 10 years. Even that solar eclipse will require a Boonie to hop in their hydrogen car and drive about 200 miles southwest. Most of Iowa will only be in the cruddy 80% solar eclipse zone.

Irregardless of a lunar eclipse's inability to blind you with its brilliance, I believe I might try to drag myself out of bed and head out into the country to enjoy it.

I am currently taking reservations for Bennett's Skywatch. What I'm saying is: anybody else out there want to sit out in a field at 4 in the morning?

*I don't really give away points or even have a point system. The two points aren't redeemable for merchandise in the Photography 139 store. The two points is a baldfaced lie. Of course I am currently sort of in my naked face mode and it is well documented fact that you can't trust a naked face. The best I can do is try to dig some Marlboro points out of the garbage can at work for you. Please don't make me do that. But please let me know if you know the movie or want to join me in watching the sky.

Flood

Before I went to the gun show on Saturday I went to Ledges to check out the flooding. It wasn't the most impressive flooding I've ever seen, but I stopped and snapped off a few photos to mark the occasion. The pictures below are those photos.

A Crossroads

Last night we had FNSC at The Colorado Grill. My mind began to wander towards the next day. I was considering going to see "Resurrecting the Champ" but I did not want to go alone. I turned to Willy and asked him about his plans for the next day.

Willy usually looks at his imaginary scheduler if he has nothing planned, but if he has something planned he immediately tells you what is on his docket. Willy did neither of these things. He fumbled around for something to say and then mumbled something about going running with one of his co-workers.

I wasn't to be denied so quickly, so I asked him about the time of his social engagement and what he might have planned afterwards. He just mumbled something quietly about being "busy" and then he turned quickly to Jay and asked him what he thought about Hillary Clinton. Did he think the rumors were true that she could give a person a kiss that would remove their soul?

I drifted out of the conversation because I already knew the answer to this debate. You can't steal other people's souls if you don't have a soul of your own. That's just science.

I decided not to pursue the movie this weekend and settle on going to see "Superbad" with Jay on Sunday.

Ames was on my docket for Saturday. I needed to buy a new 55mm UV filter for one of my lenses. In a freak bag ripping accident I had broken such a filter at the State Fair. I was also in need of foam board.

This trip went without event, until I reached the intersection of Highway 17 and Old 30. I thought I recognized a guy standing at the intersection. As I looked closer I realized it was Willy. I now know why he couldn't commit to a social engagement with me. He was "working", in a manner of speaking. I stopped just long enough to take the pictures below and then I went on my merry way.

Going On Record

Most of the recent conversations I have had with my Cyclone friends have been about the proposed designs for the new Cyclone helmets. The athletic department has unveiled three potential new designs. They will eventually choose one of these three designs and the Cyclones will start sporting that new helmet during the 2008 football season.

I do not think that intrinsically Hawkeyes are bad people. I have some good friends that are Hawkeyes. Some of my blood relatives are Hawkeyes. If everybody I knew was a Cyclone my world would be a boring (yet admittedly beautiful) place. It just so happens that the majority of my friends are Cyclones and the minority are Hawkeyes or Panthers or apathetic.

It is because of this wealth of Cyclones that I know, that I have had the "helmet" conversation a lot lately. It goes a little bit like this:

"Hey man. You voted for a helmet yet?"

"No. I am a conscientious objector. I am abstaining from voting."

"Why is that?"

"I will not pick the least of three evils."


I was not a Jamie Pollard man. Not through and through. Not even a little bit. I didn't trust him. I didn't like his decisions. I felt that he was trying to make a name for himself at Iowa State and then he would move on to a greener pasture. I did not agree with the firings of Wayne Morgan, Bobby Douglas, or Dan McCarney.

However, I have changed. What changed my feelings about Jamie Pollard were Hawkeye fans. Hawkeye fans are terrified of Jamie Pollard. Hawkeyes have been the top rooster in this state at least ever since Hayden Fry flew into Iowa City.

Despite Iowa State's athletic dominance of the state during the late 90s, Hawkeyes never wanted to consider it anything more than "cute" that the school in Ames fielded athletic teams.

This is attitude did not derive from the self refreshing supply of smugness that Hawkeyes keep next to their soul. Well not entirely. Cyclones have to share much of that blame.

Even when we beat the Hawks 5 straight years in football, we always kind of felt that it was fool's gold. We often didn't have higher aspirations than just making it a "rivalry again".

Jamie Pollard changed that. He brought an entirely new attitude to the Cyclone Nation. He threw down the gauntlet. He let it be known that we were no longer to be satisfied with occasionally beating the Hawks. He let it be known that we were no longer willing to just be the poor sisters to the Hawks. We were now more than willing to compete with them for athletic dominance of the state.

This scares Hawkeyes. They don't want the Cyclone game to become a game that they might not be favored in. They want this to be a game that they can count on in getting them close to bowl eligibility. If the Cyclones jump up and beat them every now and again, it is cute, but they still are clearly #2 in the state. They can have their bone now and again.

Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Pollard's moves have proved to be the right moves. Sanderson nearly lead Iowa State to its first national championship in wrestling since 1986. McDermott brought in one of the top recruiting classes in Cyclone history. Chizik has yet to prove himself on the field, but the buzz around the program is pretty amazing.

I applauded Pollard's bold move of placing Cyclone billboards in Hawkeye enclaves. I found it hilarious when he refused to sell single game tickets to the Iowa - Iowa State game. I was on my feet applauding when he announced that we were getting rid of these terrible Kansas City Chief* knockoff uniforms and returning to our true school colors of cardinal and gold.

I was quite taken aback when I felt Pollard has made his first mistake. That first mistake is the new helmet options. The new helmet options are terrible. Have a look.












I have two major complaints.

First is the fact that these logo designs look horribly dated. For example look at the cursive "Cyclones" design. Now look at this:



That is the helmet the Cyclones wore from 1987-94. It was pretty cutting edge, in the 80s. Now it looks like Iowa State is showing up to an 80s theme party. Perhaps if they choose these helmets their new intro music will be "Axel F".

Now look at the "ISU" helmet. Then look at this:









The top helmet is the helmet the Cyclones wore from 1981-82. The bottom helmet is the one that they wore in 1979. The lines coming off the back of the ISU on the top helmet scream "USFL expansion team". The star that dots the ISU on the bottom helmet screams "Starlight Express". If you are a football team, you don't want to remind people of musicals about roller skaters.

Take a look at the "I State" helmet and then look at this:








The top helmet is from 1976-78. The bottom helmet is from 1980. It isn't that I hate these helmet designs. It is that they are from 30 years ago. They look like they are from 30 years ago. The new helmet design looks like it is from 30 years ago.

I'm not against retro. I daresay that I am a big fan of retro. Not just in the world of athletics. I love antiques and things that have been used and are clearly from a different era. I'm a huge fan of anachronism.

However, when it comes to the sports world, retro is fine for special occasions. You have a retro uniform day once a season. You don't design your uniforms to look like after the game the players are going to the disco to hear the latest song from The Tramps.

I would make one exception. I would hope buy a ticket for the retro train if we were to bring back my favorite helmet in Cyclone history. The 1967 helmet. Take a look at this sweet baby.







That is a helmet! It is still retro, but it does correct the 2nd error I feel that the Cyclones have made. That second error is choosing white helmets. The goal of the athletic department was have a white background so that the logo really popped.

I don't dispute that logic, but with gold pants, cardinal jerseys, and white helmets we are going to look a bit like a walking joke. We are going to look like clowns. So I hope that these 3 helmets are a joke, like putting Jim Harbaugh on the list of coaching candidates and when they announce the new helmet, they pull an entirely new helmet out of thin air. This is my dream.

* Jason Baier requested that I remove the line about the Chiefs. I had to turn down his request because anybody that follows football can tell you that by comparing the uniforms to the Chiefs it is a double slam because the Chiefs are a sorry franchise. You don't even have to point it out. It is a tautology.

Pufferbilly Days Photo Contest

So I've weened the field of contenders down to 16. What lies below are the 16 photos I'm considering for the Pufferbilly Days Photo Contest. I can enter six images, so please feel free to give me your opinion on what pictures you think I should enter. It really isn't difficult or hard to leave comments on this "blog". If you don't have a google account, just select anonymous. I look forward to hearing some feedback . . . he said wistfully.




"Ant"




"Jen's Flower"


"Night Cross"



"Faux Sunset"



"Franklin"



"Epson 350 Scanner Test"



"Frogtography"



"Darrel's Place"



"Indeterminate Creature"



"Clouds"



"Same Clouds - Sans Color"



"Another One of Jen's Flower's"



"Time Filler"



"Wheels"



"Yellow Rose"



"Shannon"




It should be pointed out that these are not the actual names of the pictures, but just something to call them by at this time.

College Football Fan

College football season is nearly upon us. That means it is about time for those of you that think that you possess knowledge about the game need to put up.

Last year there were 8 of us who got together over the internet and put our pride wear our mouth resides. Bold proclamations were made. Football predictions were made. When the dust settled, Toby Sebring was crowned champion of the Gridiron Prophets.

That was last year though. The past is prelude. It is time once again to start the competition. It is time to reunite the Gridiron Prophets.

You might feel bad that you were not able to compete last year. Perhaps you think you have what it takes to be the "Champion of the Prophets". You should put your pride wear your mouth resides and join the game.

This is not a sexist game. This is not an ageist game. I have no problem beating and humiliating men, women, small children, and the elderly. If you are interested in joining up with the Prophets and playing our College Football Prediction Game, drop me an e-mail at the address you will find below:


christopherdbennett@mchsi.com

The Past

I can hear out of my right ear!!! That doesn't seem like such a big accomplishment, but I have been stuffed up lately and my right ear has been pretty much useless as a result for the last few days. It finally seemed to unclog tonight. Hearing rules.

I'm posting a few pictures of my trip to the State Fair with Sara. There aren't many pictures, so it didn't seem like a gallery was necessary.

In the last couple of days I've participated in providing music for people going on long moving trips. Stephanie has moved to Pittsburgh to pursue her education. On Monday night she had a going away party where she had the most ingenious idea. Rather than people giving her going away presents, she requested that people make her a mix CD of some of their favorite music for her to listen to on her way to Pittsburgh. I think that this is a brilliant idea and think that there is a fair to excellent chance that I will steal it in the future.

I wish I could remember what I put on the CD I made for her, but my head seemed like it was on the verge of explosion. I can remember putting on a song by Buddy Guy, Melvin Taylor, Stevie Ray Vaughan, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Jars of Clay, The Donnas, Harold Melvin, Sam Cooke The David Crowder Band, and Otis Redding. I think in retrospect I could have done a better job, but I think that I did a fair job considering my weakened condition.

In exchange, Stephanie gave everybody who gave her a CD a CD in exchange. This is another part of the idea I like. There is many a time when I've looked at somebody and thought, man this person could really use a listening to "Right Off" by Miles Davis off the album "Tribute to Jack Johnson". However, I didn't put that song on Stephanie's CD. That song is 27 minutes long. It wouldn't have left much room for the theme from the original "Planet of the Apes". If you are wondering, I chose "Prince of Darkness" off of "Sorcerer" to represent Miles Davis.

Unfortunately I only was able to make the CD exchange because of my pulsing head. I bid Stephanie a fond adieu and headed home to nurse my pounding gulliver.

Nate is currently in the process of moving from Mendota Heights to Tuscon. He is doing a 3 month internship in Tuscon. Due to the length of the drive to Arizona, Nate purchased an iPod. He needed help getting songs on to the iPod. I told him to bring his computer over while he made a quick stop in Boone. I don't want to go into to much detail about why we were doing this, but the short version of the story is that when I turned on his computer, sparks shot out the back of it and I got quite the electric shock. To add to the pain, my middle finger was bleeding when it was all said in done.

As enjoyable as the electric shock was, I was able to salvage his music by putting his hard drive into my computer. Nate got his iPod filled up with music and I only received a small injury.

Now that my head is beginning to clear, I can start putting some energy into the Pufferbilly Day Photo Contest. I might post the finalists on here before I enter them.

I haven't been to many weddings in the last couple of years. I went to one in June. I went to one on Saturday. I have 3 more to attend in the next month. I get the pleasure of doing the photography for two of those weddings.

While I was under the weather, I was able to finish reading the last two Harry Potter books. I had stopped reading the Harry Potter books after the third book. I didn't really like the third book and didn't see a need to continue. The movies seemed to satisfy me, but after I saw the fifth movie, I was left with several questions and I decided it was time to finish reading the books. I am left with quite a few thoughts about how the 7th book ended, but I'll save those for another time.

I would like to point out that the new Iowa State football helmet options are absolutely terrible. Absolutely terrible. I don't think I could be more disappointed.

I'll just finish off with those State Fair pictures.

Vacation

I am on vacation this week. I have not taken a vacation since before Christmas last year. It has become apparent in the last couple of weeks that I was in a desperate need of a vacation. I had become burned out. I was no longer looking forward to coming to work every day. I was definitely looking forward to every weekend with increasing desire every week. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to concentrate and the easier the task, the less desire I had to complete the task.

This came as a surprise to me. I did not think that you could become burnt out at a job where on most days it is fun to show up to work and there is next to zero stress. As it turns out, I could get burned out. It turned out that I did get burned out.

So I’m taking this week to recharge my batteries. I’m taking this week to sharpen my saw.

The need of a vacation was not merely derived from my waning batteries. It also came from the need to stop answering the same question over and over.

As many of you know, I was rejected by the Iowa State Fair Photography Salon this year. I haven’t written about this rejection yet because I’d been working on this blog about the Des Moines Arts Festival and the difference between liking to take pictures of naked chicks as art and pornography. I was hoping to write a really clever blog that included some examples of parody, but it just seems that my heart isn’t in it. I might later today publish my weak attempt, but it might just be better for the world if this poor attempt never sees the light of day.

I believe because I haven’t written about my rejection, some people feel that I am ashamed or angry about this snub. This is not the case, but because of my silence on the subject, I see how people could have reached this inaccurate conclusion.

So I’ll break my silence.

On the Saturday of the Boone County Fair, I woke up and went to the mailbox. There was a letter in it from the Iowa State Fair Photography Salon. It read as follows:

Dear Mr. Bennett:

There are days when it is great to be the all powerful judging committee of the Iowa State Fair Photography Salon. Those are the days that we discover new talent or days that we see things that we have never seen before. This letter is not in response to one of those events. It is our duty to inform you that you are not a startling new talent. Your work is not revolutionary. In fact, the only thing startling about your work is its decided lack of talent. You sir suck! We take no joy in pointing out your numerous inadequacies as a photographer. However, we would be derelict in our duties if didn’t beseech you to never pick up a camera again. It would be better for you if you pursued a different hobby that isn’t so demanding. May we suggest playing the keytar. We feel it is an instrument poised to make a comeback.

If you have not yet picked up what we are laying down, let us quote the immortal Marty McFly:

“Get out of here kid, you got no future.”

If you decide to ignore our advice, we have done some research and found out that one of your co-workers, a Mike Vest, is a very talented photographer. We feel that your only chance is to study at his feet and maybe some day you will take a picture worthy of being in our Salon.

Good luck next year you no talent hack,

2007 Iowa State Fair Photography Salon Judges*

How could I be angry? They were so nice about it.

The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t bother me that a co-worker got a picture in and I didn’t. Truth be known I always get it handed to me at the Iowa State Fair. I had a streak of two years in a row of getting pictures into the State Fair. That was a good run.

I start over again next year.

I don’t get angry or upset because I know that this is a hard competition. Only 20% of the pictures entered get displayed. Whether or not you get a picture in is kind of a crapshoot. Who knows what the judges are going to like and not like? I have theories about it, but I’m not going to go out my way to make a “photo contest” picture.

I make the kind of pictures I like. I figured out a long time ago that these aren’t the type of pictures that do well at photo contests. I try to make the type of picture you would want to put on your wall. These are not the type of picture that do well at photo contests.

So be it. The end result of this rejection is that I will end up entering the Pufferbilly Photo Contest this year. I was slowly entering a mindset that I was “done” with photo contests. However, I realized this past year that what I don’t like about photo contests (the competitive part) is outstripped by what I like about photo contests. What I like is people seeing my work and reacting to it.

These are my favorite photo contest memories.

A few years back at the Boone County Fair I entered a picture of Karma. The picture was a macro image of her mouth. I was standing nearby and these people stopped and looked at my picture and insisted that the photographer must have “brushed this dog’s teeth” before taking the picture. Karma was a great dog and companion. She never had her teeth brushed though. Although in retrospect, she might have liked it.

Last year I won three trophies at the Pufferbilly Day Photo Contest. That was not my favorite moment.

My favorite moment was when I was standing next to the photo display with Jay. A couple of ladies came down to look at the displays. One of the ladies had drug her friend down with her just to point out one picture to her. It was my picture. It was not a trophy winner, but it made such an impression that she had left to bring her friend back to see the picture. That was a great moment.

The question about my co-workers success and my failure are not quite extinguished by these answers. People feel I should be jealous or angry about this situation. I ask you, what kind of person is angry about somebody else’s success. I’ll tell you what kind of person. A small person. A prick. A software support person.** I am none of these things.

As humble as I might be, I do have some pride in my work. So before the failed images get locked in a trunk for the rest of time I would like to put them on public display here. I could go into theories about why they were rejected, but I’ll let you postulate on your own.




"Throes"




"Ant Food"




"A Deceptive Existence"




"Lost Dreams"




The good news is that my family is only tainted with one loser. My sister Teresa did very well with her crocheted projects. She did thusly:

1. Snowmen Ornaments - First place
2. Blair the Bear - Second place
3. Felted purse - Third place
4. Felted bowl - Third place
5. Crinoline Lady - Third place
6. Grab Ball - Fourth place
7. Heart doily - nothing
8. Baby afghan - nothing



* Just for the sake of gullible people. I didn’t get this letter. Just a post card saying that all my pictures were rejected.

** I say this because I recently went to a bachelor party for a guy from work and a good portion of my party experience was spent listening to the people from software grousing about other people in software. Come on people!!! It is a party, leave the office at the office.

Iowa State Fair Daytrip

I just put up some pictures from yesterday's trip to the State Fair with Jay. I you are interested in perusing these pictures, you could click on the link below or browse to the Snapshots page:

State Fair

Post Secret Movie

As you know, I am a big fan of Post Secret. The man that runs post secret recently made this movie.