Sunday, November 30, 2008

More House Hunt

Over the Thanksgiving weekend I looked at 4 more houses.

One house didn't have a basement, which was kind of bad, but the fact that it didn't have any yard eliminated it.

I did find a few interesting things in one house.



Mirrors for closet doors? What a great idea!



A tragic waste of a claw foot tub.


Although I didn't like this house all that much, I think mirrored closet doors are going on my want list, right next to having a garage and having a yard.

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanksgiving

I started Thanksgiving by helping serve the free Thanksgiving dinner with my Mom, Teresa and Logan. I was given the extremely important duty of collecting trays.

After my shift concluded I talked dogs with Karma's former vet Jordan and his family. Even though I know when I get a dog again it will be a Golden Retriever, I was told by one of Jordan's daughters to look into Bulgarian Mountain Dogs.

I really had no intention of doing this, but I was told (incorrectly) that I would be a hypocrite if I didn't do such a thing.

So enjoy this little tidbit from Wikipedia about Bulgarian Mountain Dogs (AKA Caucasian Shepherd Dog):

Powerful and massive, the Caucasian Ovcharka can be a difficult breed for an inexperienced owner, because it respects and obeys only those that it deems superior to itself. They are good with children, but will not see them as their masters. The dog develops a strong bond with its owner but will rarely be submissive; this is truly a thinking dog which relies on its own instincts, sometimes even disregarding its master's directions. A breed with a very quick reaction time and fast protection reflexes, it has even been unfairly described by some as somewhat of a "loose cannon". With proper care, handling and training, this is a well-behaved and obedient family companion.


I have no doubt that such a dog would see me as being superior, but Golden Retrievers are where it is at.

I concluded my Thanksgiving by eating a wonderful dinner and dominating my family in Rack Rummy.

Here are some pictures from the day.


























If you break it down, I had 6 Thanksgiving to attend this week. That is a lot of good and unhealthy eating.

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Too Crafty?

Teresa's latest project was too make individualized Christmas booklets for all the members of the family. Well, not for me, but for the other members of the family.





I spent a fair amount of Thanksgiving trying to explain that I don't really care what I get for Christmas. I'm the easiest person in the world to shop for because I like everything and I get too much as it is.

But the actual truth is that what I would really like for Christmas is to find somebody that can challenge me at the game of Rack Rummy.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Willy's Birthday

On Willy's Birthday I got a couple of unique photos of some friends.

Willy joined Jesse, Frank, Vest and I for lunch. In honor of Willy's birthday Jesse donned the shirt that Jay made to honor Willy. Then he posed with Willy.



Jesse donning Lone Wolf Gear with Lone Wolf


On Wednesday Andy, Melissa, Becky and Grace set up in front of the Fareway in Ames and Nevada to raise money for Holiday Food Baskets.

While I was sitting at Okoboji Grill having lunch, my phone rang (incidentally I was more popular than my mom last month, I had more used minutes on the cell phone bill!)and it was Shannon. Andy and Becky were setting up in Nevada and Grace was hoping I would be able to go over their and get their pictures.

I was not able to do this because I was celebrating Willy's birthday.

However, while I was sitting at work later that day I got a text message. The number was not in my contact list. Every time that I get a text message from a number I don't know it is pornography.

I'm not what you would call a fan of pornography. I understand why it exists (to demean women) but if I were a fan of pornography, I would make certain that I was sending it to a person I knew for sure. But hey that is just me and The Bennett Text Messaging Pornography Policy.

It ends up that the text message was not pornography, but a message from Melissa wanting to know if I could come down and take a picture of she and Grace at the Ames Fareway.

As it turns out, I could.



Melissa and Grace


Incidentally, you can still donate to the Jaycees' Holiday Food Baskets and help feed 200 families Christmas Dinner in Story County.

Visit the Ames Jaycees Website for more information.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Birthday Willy

I've been a bit busy in the last few days and I've been negligent. So I apologize. It was Willy's birthday on the day before Thanksgiving.





We took Willy out on Sunday night for dinner and then to lunch on Wednesday for his birthday.

I think I won a Photo Contest once with that picture of Willy.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

No Good Deed...

From the Clare Boothe Luce Files:

Monday was the annual Computer Mine Thanksgiving. The Mine brings in a healthy spread of food and the meal is supplemented in a potluck manner by various employees.

In my time at the mine, I've never once contributed to a potluck. This is connected to the fact that I don't cook all that much and because I don't really want to.

On the Friday before the Thanksgiving I was having a conversation with newest member of the mining team. He had signed up to bring a wide variety of food and through the process of the conversation I somehow agreed to lighten his load by bringing rolls.

On Monday I brought rolls, butter and homemade apple butter. The apple butter is made by a woman that works with my mom.

After the meal was concluded, the people that run the Thanksgiving loaded the leftovers (including the apple butter) into the company fridge.

The next morning the following email was sent out to the entire company.

To whomever had a jar of homemade applesauce/butter in the refrigerator, I regret to inform you it fell out and busted on the floor. Sorry.
I think this is the universe telling me not to contribute to any potlucks in the future.

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Mr. Meeting

As I look at the year that is rapidly approaching, it turns out that 2009 is going to be the Year of the Meeting.

For starters, I will be the Marketing VP for the Ames Jaycees in 2009. That means two board meetings a month in addition to 2 membership meetings a month.

I will also be on the Board of Trustees at the church. I don't know exactly what the Board of Trustees does, but apparently it involves staring at water damage to the ceiling and then voting on it. I vote "yes" that is water damage. I'm not sure how many meetings that will entail, but I'm hoping that it isn't too many.

It also seems like I might end up on the Board of the Methodist Men. I'm not sure if this is a done deal, but I think that the meet twice a month in between church services.

That should be enough meetings for me, I might have to abstain from all meetings in 2010.

As it is, my years working for the Evil Clown Empire conditioned me to hate meetings. We only really had 2 Store Manager Meetings and we rotated through them.

The first meeting I will call the Boat Captain Meeting. The old man that owned the company would give a stirring story about how managers were doing to much work. My favorite was when he compared managers to boat captains.

If you were a captain of a boat and you saw that you were going to slam into something ahead, would a good captain run down into the boiler room and start shoveling coal or would they grab the wheel and steer the ship out of danger?

The point of the meeting was that he wanted more staff added to every shift so that managers could manage rather than shoveling coal.

The next manager meeting would always be about how labor was too high and we needed to cut labor.

This of course would be followed by the Boat Captain Meeting. It was an endless cycle.

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Turkey Trot

I have to admit that I'm kind of phoning this one in. I'm going to copy and paste and email I wrote about the Living History Farms Run on Saturday.

You just need to know that there was some confusion about whether or not we would be able to watch Willy and his friend Kristy participate in this race.

Turkey Trot

The LHF Run ended up being a piece of cake from a spectator perspective. Jay and I left Boone about 7:45. We got down to Des Moines at about 8:30. A line of traffic began to form on Hickman (correct me if I’m wrong) underneath the interstate bridge. This gave me some cause for concern, but it was wasted energy. We pulled into the LHF parking lot and they had people directing traffic. We got a choice parking spot right next to the road.

In the morning it wasn’t that cold. In fact, Des Moines didn’t get nearly as much snow as Ames or Boone. We hung around the starting point for awhile, but could not find Willy in the middle of the mass of humanity of 7500 runners and maybe another 500 or so spectators.

We walked maybe a quarter of a mile down the course and set up. The hope was that when the crowd started to move we could pick out Willy and Kristy. When the racers did reach our point it was fairly impressive to see 7500 people running next to you. It took in the neighborhood of 6-8 minutes for all of them to run by us.

We were unable to pick them out. It was like looking for a needle in a stack of needles, plus we didn’t know what they were wearing.

After the runners passed we cut up through the town to watch the runners go by again. By the time we got there, the group had spread out, but I still didn’t think that we would see Willy. As luck would have it Kristy and Willy saw us and waved to us. I’m not sure how they saw us, because we were standing behind another group of people and Willy just isn’t that observant of a person.

After they passed we followed a group of spectators to a part of the stream where the racers would have to cross it and then climb up a hill using ropes. We set up near there. I was at a spot in between the ropes and the creek. Down in the little valley it was actually pretty warm because there was no wind.

What I did not count on was that the ground I was standing next to was going to turn into mud after a few hundred runners came out of the stream.

While I was standing there. Annie Buchmiller came running by. She stopped briefly and said, “Hi.” Then she ascended the hill.

As runners ran by me I got covered in mud. At least my jeans and winter jacket did. Some groups of people started picking up mud and throwing it at each other. One girl threw some at the guy she was running with and he ducked and it hit me.

She looked horrified and she came over and apologized.

I said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. It’s my fault for standing this close to the action.” I do believe that.

Eventually Willy and Kristy came through the stream, but they didn’t cut the way the course was supposed to cut. They didn’t go up the ropes. They went over the side, so I didn’t really get a very good picture of either of them. Actually I didn’t get a picture of Kristy at all.

After they passed we walked out of the stream valley and made our way towards the finish line.

Here is an example of focus.

The runners began to get backed up pretty far from the stream. We had to work our way up the pack to find a place to cross the course and head back to the town. While we were walking alongside the race course a bunch of girls that were kind of stopped because runners were backed up at the stream that we were walking by asked, “Aren’t we cute enough?”

At first I didn’t realize they were talking to me, because I was 100% focused on getting to the finish line before Willy.

So, I kind of responded off hand, “You’re cute enough.” And kept walking.

Jay said, “You get that a lot don’t you?”

It was then that it dawned on me that they thought I should take their picture because they were “so cute”.

“I guess it has happened twice this year.”

While we were walking back to the town it started to snow and the wind picked up. The temperature must have dropped about 10 degrees.

We watched them cross the finish line and I got a picture of Willy and Kristy.

At this point, Sara called and asked if we were still on for lunch. I told her that I was covered in mud, but we were still on for lunch.

Jay and I stopped by Christian Photo to pick up folders for December 1 and the Roland Christmas thing.

When we got to Sara’s she loaned me a pair of pants that didn’t really fit, but as long as I held them up while I walked it was okay. At least better than being covered in mud.

We ate at Los Laureles. It was excellent. They serve their meals with 3 different types of salsa. I’d say their only drawback was that they serve their soda out of cans, therefore there are no refills. Maybe the best refried beans I’ve ever had.


Then we hit the Juice Company. I had the Orange-Carrot-Banana. It was very good. I think in the future I might go with the smoothie so it is cold. I can’t remember what Sara had, but the name might have had Aloha in the title. Jay didn’t have anything and he seemed confused as to why anybody would pay 5 bucks for 24 ounces of juice. Sara liked it and is going to go back to try their wheat grass at some point. She also like the atmosphere because it was a lot less “snooty” than Fresh.



7500 Runners



Kristy and Willy



Jay



Mud



Annie Buchmiller



One of my favorite runners.



Climbing the Rope



The Brides



Willy



Willy



Kristy and Willy



After the Finish Line



The squirrels in Sara's neighborhood have been eating her pumpkin.



Sara with her drink from The Juice Company



Styling in my loaner paints.


All in all, it was not a half bad day.

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Happy Birthday Suzie

This past Saturday was the birthday of Suzie.





Happy Birthday Suzie!

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Friday, November 21, 2008

The Real Real

I've heard a lot of my friends conversing about "real" things lately. I am not going to weigh in on what is "real" camping or "real" cheesecake.

I also heard a rumor about a cribbage game that went down a little while ago.

This makes me want to weigh in on what a real cribbage board looks like.

It look a little something like this:





It almost makes me wish I knew how to play cribbage.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Something Beautiful

I've been working on the Friends Album in the Snapshots Gallery lately. I've added close to 100 new photos of friends.





If you would like to check those new photos out, just follow the link:


Friends


Also, I would remind you that if you "Register" to become a "User" in the Galleries, you can do some cool things like "Favorite" pictures, "Comment" on pictures or "Rate" pictures.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

J.M. Barrie



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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Least of Us

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. - Mother Teresa

Maybe you hadn't heard, but there are people struggling out there. Maybe you hadn't heard, you can help.

The longest running Ames Jaycees project is the Holiday Food Baskets program. Last year the Ames Jaycees were able to provide 80 families with Christmas Dinner. As the economy has tanked, the number of needy families in Story County has skyrocketed.

The Ames Jaycees are attempting to provide 200 families with a Christmas Dinner this year and you can help. For only 25 dollars you can adopt 1 family and provide them with a Christmas Dinner.

Here is some information that I've taken from the Ames Jaycees website:





As you can see, we are almost halfway to our goal!

Here is the condensed version of the information:

You want to request more information? Email Grace and Melissa at: holidayfoodbaskets@amesjaycees.com.

You are ready to donate? Click the this link: Holiday Baskets Donation Form

Fill out the form, drop it in an envelope, drop in your donation and mail it to the address on the form.

I've heard from two people that are going to donate. I hope to hear from more.

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Aesthetically Qualified

Because I know interesting people sometimes the beget me more interesting people.

Such as Lowell begot Bill who then begot Willy who then begot Faust.

Frank from work met a guy while working at Best Buy that is a movie producer. Well, he is sort of a movie producer. He moved out to Iowa from some place out East and is trying to raise enough money to make a movie.

He hasn't made the movie, but he has made a movie that is over 90 minutes long about the movie he wants to make. It includes lots of his theories on movie making. Lots of the sets he wants to use. Pictures of the women that are going to be in the movie in bikinis. Pictures of horses that will be in the movie. Pictures of dogs that will be in the movie.

However, nowhere in the sale pitch does he indicate what the movie is actually about. The closest you get to know what the movie is about is the discussion of the characters that will be in the movie and you can combine that with the sets that will be used for the movie and maybe get an idea of what is going to happen in this movie.

There is one exception. One little sliver of information that comes through. The producer does include 5 rehearsals of one scene from the movie. Here is the dialogue from that one scene, starring the producer as the lead character from the movie, talking to somebody that isn't there:
(Try to imagine this being said with a Jersey accent, by a guy wearing a leather jacket and gloves.)

Johnathan Sinclair
What does that mean? What you just did? I saw that.
I see women doing that? What does that mean?
You pulled your shirt down over your butt. What does that mean?
Does that mean that you think your butt's too big?
Or perhaps I'm not aesthetically qualified to give you the once over?
Or maybe I'm not financially qualified to give you the once over?
Babe, you're like a fantasy world?
Like a dream world. Like a dream world.

I don't think it is too big of a stretch to call it poetry.

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

It Ends

Saturday was the final home game for the Cyclones. I don't have many pictures because low light and cold temperatures do not make for ideal photographic conditions.



Faust and I were defeated 12-10.



Jesse and his reversible hat.



Faust and his beverage.



Ames Party Bus



ISUCFVMB



Senior Day



Joe



Cheerleader



ISUCFVMB Senior Tradition



Moon



Arnaud



Jack Trice Stadium



Iowa State Center


There are more pictures in the ISU vs. Missouri album in the Snapshots Gallery:


Iowa State vs. Missouri

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Cardinal Mystery

In case any of you have been wondering why the Cardinal in the football uniforms...





does not match the color of Cardinal that the cheerleaders or basketball teams wear...





the Athletic Department sent out a letter explaining the reason.

Dear fellow Cyclones:

This past year the athletics department made the decision to return to Iowa State University’s traditional school colors of cardinal and gold (as adopted by the institution in 1899). Although we are very excited about returning to these colors, we also recognize this decision is not something that can be fully implemented overnight.

It is our goal to have all of our athletics teams in the same shade of cardinal and gold, that represents our proud history and tradition, as soon as possible.
The purpose of this letter is to share several updates on the transition. Nike, our equipment provider, has designated the football and men’s and women’s track programs in their “elite” uniform division which means those sport’s uniforms are custom made in the colors we want (for example, what is being worn by the football team this season).

Unfortunately, Nike has not designated our other teams in that same category at this point, mainly due to our institution’s overall lack of retail merchandise sales. We are continuing to work with Nike on this issue and are optimistic that we can resolve it in the future.

In the interim, our other athletics teams, including men’s and women’s basketball, must select their uniforms and warm-ups from Nike's stock colors. Nike's stock cardinal color is darker than our football uniforms, and in some cases appears burgundy or maroon. In addition, Nike does not provide uniforms for spirit squads, dance teams or bands. Each of those programs has to order their uniforms from separate companies, which makes obtaining the proper shade of cardinal even more difficult for our department.

In closing, we simply ask you to have patience and understanding as we complete the transition.

Go Cyclones!
Sincerely,

Jamie Pollard

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Friday, November 14, 2008

The Brandon Kahler Project: Chapter 4 - Fun with Frames

Here are a couple of special effect pictures of Brandon and a frame.








I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Brandon is wearing the tie I wore in Jen and Derrick's wedding this summer.

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Brandon Kahler Project: Chapter 3 - Day 1 Color

This is a collection of a few of the color images from Day 1 of Brandon's Senior Photo Shoot.

These probably aren't the best pictures from the day, but they are some of my favorites.









































Perhaps this is more a collection of goofy looks on his face, but they are my favorite goofy looks.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Free Shirt

Monday night was the debut of my new bowling shirt. It isn't much to look at. I freely admit this fact. But it is mine and it was free.





This is the first year as a team we have had bowling shirts. Now Patio Pros LLC, might not be the most stylish team in the world, but I guarantee you that we are the most stylish 8th Place team in any league.

I wish I could say that the debut was successful, but Corey's Uncle Daryl took me behind the woodshed. That was to be expected, I am about the worst bowler in the league. Although I seem to bowl much better when Nate shows up. I'm going to have to see to it that he shows up more often.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Shannon After

Shannon had over a foot of hair cut off her head last Thursday. On Sunday I was able to document this joyous hair loss, but the day was not completely happy.





In the picture above you should try to look past Shannon. You may notice something. Shannon appears to be standing on an abandoned railroad bridge.

My favorite park in Ames is Brookside Park. I don't believe I would be talking out of turn if I were to guess that it is also Shannon's favorite park. We met at the park and walked to this bridge despite the cold temperatures.

The previous Saturday we met there to take her before pictures. We talked about going to this bridge on that day because she was curious about it. She had heard a wildly inaccurate characterization of the bridge from Becky. Becky and I had walked across the bridge one night after a Jaycees meeting.

On that Saturday there must have been about 20 people just hanging out on the bridge. I thought we should give the bridge another try, but it did not end up to be one of my better ideas.





If you take you gaze downward you might notice a few things about Shannon. I mentioned it was cold. The proof can be found in the coat/scarf combination that she was wearing. Although it is stylish, the gloves she is wearing are not for fashion purposes. Shannon was cold.

The particularly observant might notice a couple of other things. In her gloved hands Shannon appears to be holding a bag. The bag contains the hair that Shannon parted with so that she could make a donation to Locks of Love.

If you know this bridge very well, you might be able to gather from the trees behind Shannon, she is standing over water.

I'm sure you can see what is coming, but on this day I did not. When Shannon reached into the bag to pull out her former hair to pose for a picture with it, one of the 8 braids (I have no clue if that is the right word) escaped her stylishly gloved, but frozen hands.

It fell between two railroad ties and into the ice cold stream below.



The lost hair.


It was a heart breaker. I didn't think Shannon would want this to be documented, but she insisted that it be documented.

We managed to get the rest of her former hair put away and left that cursed bridge.

Once we got to dryish land we took some pictures of the her and her former hair.



That is lots of hair.



I repeat. That is lots of hair.


The lost hair didn't take off down the stream immediately. There was some time where it seemed like it might possibly wash near enough to the bank that we could get to it with out descending deep into the near freezing water.



Shannon watching the hair float away.


But it was not to be.

The day was not a complete loss though. There are still 7 locks to be sent to Locks of Love. A wonderful donation.



Plus, Shannon does have a great new hair cut!


I also gave this beanie to Shannon. I hate to part with anything that Teresa makes, but I don't think the colors are for me. Everybody seems to say that the hat looks better on her than me any way. It is probably because it is hard for me to give the badass vibe that I normally emanate when I'm wearing that beanie.

After the photo shoot Shannon helped me to write a CPG for the Ames Jaycee website that I redesigned. I won't bore you with the details, if you aren't a Jaycee you really wouldn't be that interested.

Then we joined my Mom, Carla and Teresa for supper at Jeff's Pizza. If I haven't written about it before, I love Jeff's Pizza. I'm a particularly large fan of their Gyro Guy pizza and their Clones. Clones are pizza rolls and they are fantastic. Better than Gumby's used to make before Gumby's went terribly downhill.

The meal was pleasant despite the fact that the large amount of females at the table insisted on ordering a Chicken Alfredo pizza. I'm going to tell you flat out, chicken does not belong on a pizza. Even the gourmet pizza wizards at Jeff's Pizza could not sway my opinion. I will freely confess that their Chicken Alfredo pizza was the best chicken pizza I have had to date, but it still wasn't a pizza I would want to sit down and take to town.

Thankfully, we ordered a Gyro Guy pizza as well, so I didn't wither away.

The conversation was relatively polite until it inevitably turned into gossip hour about my friends. I was able to put the smack down on that though. We gossiped about Teresa's friends instead.

Truth be known, I don't gossip.

After dinner Shannon and I went to Stephens to see the Jerusalem Symphony Orchestra. It was the first professional symphony orchestra concert I have ever attended. They played 3 pieces of music including a piece by Bernstein and a piece by Copland.

The lights never fully dimmed. This was something I wasn't expecting. Another thing I found odd was that they opened the show by playing the Star Spangled Banner. I've gotten to the point where I only hear the National Anthem at sporting events, so that was a nice little surprise. They followed the Star Spangled Banner with the playing of what I'm going to assume was the Israeli National Anthem.

They concluded the show by playing two encores. Before the encores the conductor of the Symphony Orchestra spoke to the crowd and praised people from Iowa. I guess that was the classical music equivalent of "You rock Ames, Iowa! We wish we could take you with us."

It was a very enjoyable show. I will gladly go see a Symphony Orchestra concert again in the future.

So the night ended on a high after the low of losing the hair. An excellent day at the aggregate level!

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Monday, November 10, 2008

The Future of Boone

When Sara and I went to Ottumwa I think we might of had a glimpse into Boone's future if it becomes the proud home of a Juice Bar.

I should start out by pointing out that on our way to Ottumwa Sara got pulled over and issued a speeding ticket by the nicest State Patrolman. He even started out with a joke:

"What are you doing today, besides fast?"


Sara and I ended up in downtown Ottumwa. I snapped a couple of pictures of Boone's Future. We actually went downtown so I could get a picture of the Adult Theater because Derrick did not believe me that it existed, but I found a couple other sweet things. For some reason Sara would not get out of the car and join me.



Right across the street from the Adult Theater - Strip Club!



The Salty Frog is located right next to the strip club. A couple of women came wandering out of The Salty Frog while I was nearby. They looked like the type of women that would come out of a bar called The Salty Frog.



So it goes... Adult Theater, Chinese Restaurant, Abandoned Store Front, Christian Community Outreach Center. Well played Ottumwa. Well played.



Jen described this picture as "The Buddy Jesus".



Cinema X. They lose points for the name. They might as well call it Cinema Generic.



Sara's View



Apparently such a landmark that they built a parking ramp around it.



A better look at the parking ramp.



I might as well end with an Arty Picture.


I'm sure I will be returning to Ottumwa again in the next few weeks. Hopefully, I will get to take in even more of its majesty.

Incidentally, I will be asking some of you to come to Ottumwa with me to help Jen work on her Uncle's house. You have been forewarned. Unless I already asked you. Then you already know about this project.

If you need more than just an altruistic motivation to get you to help out, Ottumwa has a Breadeaux Pizza. Mmmm... Breadeaux Pizza.

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Sunday, November 09, 2008

Decline of Sports Journalism, Part Deux

My friend Russell wrote this about sports media and I think it is brilliant. Even if you don't like sports, you might find it interesting if you have had the sideline "bimbo" conversation with me.

Decline of Sports Journalism, Part Deux

As defined by the online journalism dictionary, Color commentator:"The color commentator provides expert analysis and background information, such as statistics, strategy and injury reports, on the teams and athletes..." From dictionary.com, Analysis: "A person who analyzes or who is skilled in analysis."

A small apology: in a critique of sports journalism, I'm going to make a slight stretch and include sports commentators and analysts in the journalistic field, after all they are supposed to report information about the game, use coaches and players as resources, and provide the public with necessary information.

I know, I know.

I'll admit I'm not the brightest cookie ever, and neither are most Americans. We just aren't. Too much TV, too much beer, too many conversations on telephones that probably should have never happened, freaking out when Janet Jackson shows her breasts or the new Harry Potter comes out, but turning a blind eye to Darfur, Haiti, and a thousand other world crises. I'm not condemning America, for I too am guilty of bypassing world news for an entertainment sound bite and of watching a reality television show or three.

But come on. The sports know-it-alls have been phoning it in for a good four, five years now. The problem isn't that we don't want to hear them, it's that they are continuing to say what we already know. It's becoming the equivalent of going over addition and subtraction in a high school algebra class. The problem isn't that America has gotten smarter, it's that after telling us the same things five years running, hey, we've got it.

Here's the kind of stuff that I mean. See if any of these sound familiar and I'll just use football:

A certain team has bad running game: "The defense is going to sit back in coverage force them to throw underneath."

Certain team has bad passing game: "It's time to put eight or nine in the box, and force the weak quarterback to beat you."

Certain team is good in all phases: "What makes it so tough is, you can't defend these guys at all. You put eight in box, they go over the top with great wide receivers, if you sit back they'll run in down your throat."

Certain team sucks in all phases: "This team struggles in all phases of the game, and it starts with head coach. (or if head coach has unquestioned credentials, "It starts with the players.")

My favorite, the pick for Super Bowl, or Bowl Game: Pick the two best teams from each conference, almost always, or pick a team that has won before. Though it seems obvious, the facts say otherwise: Since '79 #1 seeds in college basketball have won the title just 55% of the time, since 2000 3 wild card teams have won the Super Bowl, same for baseball since 2002, of ten BCS champion games the #2 ranked team has won half the games. ). The point being playing it safe and going with the fav only gets it done about half the time.

When player says the wrong thing: "(Player's name) is selfish and doesn't care about the team."

A athletic (certain cynical writers would throw race in here) quarterback is doing pretty well: "He's a dual threat, uses athletic skills to buy time in pocket!" If he fails: "Relying too much on his athletic ability, needs to be more patient and make better throws."

An un-athletic QB: "He goes through his 2nd and 3rd reads, and he is patient in pocket." If he sucks: "He needs to move around in the pocket, he holds on to the ball too long."

It drives me nuts if I keep going. (It's a bit more fun translating these to common life, like say, the Researcher struggles with women: "He needs to be more aggressive and open up the offense a bit more." Or on Obama: "This guy was the underdog at one point and he was counted out, but on the big stage, that's when he demonstrated his heart and his leadership.")

I put up with it for a while, I think we all did, because we were starved for sports highlights and information about our beloved teams. But with the inundation of sports shows and games, on like eight different networks, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING NEW.

Good thing they have a four-day camp put on by the NFLPA and NFL to teach ex-athletes a career in broadcasting. I'm surprised it lasts four days.

It's frightening to me that ex-coaches and guys 15 years in the league who read playbooks 600 pages deep and know every nuance of the game can't seem to give us anything but the same stuff I discuss with my dad at home. If anything, I could use the help beating him during our sports arguments.

Are they afraid if they educate us too much they'll be out of the job? As if Joe Six-Pack (when he's not plumbing) is going to rise off the couch, quit his job and take over a head coaching gig (insert your Raiders joke here)? But seriously, can this really be all they took from the game?

I have literally seen more than a few games when a commentator, doesn't matter the sport, begins literally drawing a picture or writing words on the screen. Come on. That's all you've got? I mean, show us why the deep post route freed up the crossing route, why his 3rd read was outside of the 2 second window a QB has to throw the ball, why the matchup zone slows a point guards passing skills, why drawing an infield in effects a pitcher's selection of throws, something that makes the average fan feel like...oh, I don't know...he's getting only a slightly lesser quality experience than someone attending the game. That's really what television is for. You've got cameras everywhere but up the quarterback's you know what, HD quality pictures, and then you've got some huge guy in a suit saying "They really need to step it up here, Al. This is an important play." Thirty seconds on the clock in a playoff game, ya think? Stuff like that makes me put on the mute button and cry, and when sports shows come on, I now watch only the highlights and then turn away.

If I want I can get similar analysis from drunk fans at the game. For instance "That coach is douche bag!" (Analyst: "I really just don't like that call, Dan, post-play, of course) or "Come on Defense, get a stop!" (They need to buckle down here, John and get a stop.") "Your mother looks like George Foreman!" ("He's got to stay focused and stop letting his emotions get the best of him.")

I also have an issue with these sideline reporter people, aka Something we found the pretty girl to do because what if they're as good at us men at sports?

So-and-so is injured. Awesome. If it's not a major player, we don't care. If you don't have information, we don't care. Don't tell us the hurt player is being evaluated in the locker room. We know, because it's why he went in the locker room. (Unless it's Manny Ramirez.) If the team is depressed or the coaches are trying to get people fired up, guess what? America could give a crap.

America would like to know, sideline girl, what adjustments are being made, to a specificity, if someone is being kept out of a game and why, or maybe if two players get into a fight. Truthfully, most guys really just like watching Erin Andrews smile because the information (which she has said she's worked on all week) amounts to diddly-poo.

I don't understand the great fear of giving America too much information. I have yet to hear a sports show labeled "too intelligent for me." I have yet to hear a sports fan say, "I'd just like four guys who laugh a lot and speak in general, simplistic terms." In an age where people have access to more information than any point in history, why is the sports shows and TV producers prefer we have the opposite? From Peter King of Sports Illustrated:"..I don't mean to harp on ESPN for burying the State Farm NFL Matchup Show, but here's an example of what I'm talking about when I say it's the one pregame show that should be essential viewing for the real fan, and how ESPN is foolish for putting it on...at 3 a.m. and 7: 30 am ET. "

Now, I've seen the show, and I'll admit I found it a bit nerdish. The two commentators are a bit too eager to break down, of all things, tons of game film. It's kind of like being in a film session. But I got stats, in depth video replays and a host of terms I had never heard before. Some might call that expert analysis.

There are good commentators out there, and I've heard excellent analysis of the NBA by at least two female commentators (who seem to be intentionally stepping up their game because people are waiting for them to screw up). And certain commentators bring a homey feel to television, John Madden, Dick Vitale, Bill Raftery: guys who don't have too much to say but seriously appear to enjoy the game, the idea of optimism being contagious. No major beef with them.

I read a quote recently and since I'm not a quote guy I'll paraphrase horrifically: the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. In saying that, you might think I'm alright with another player whose done enough drugs and alcohol to fill the Atlantic Ocean giving me simple tidbits.

But I'm not. In my quest for more information and better viewing pleasure I may find nothing but misery, but there's not a damn thing wrong with letting America feel smart. And if they do try and it fails miserably, I'll be the first to eat crow and go right back to watching Erin Andrews.

From Russell Kennerly AKA The Researcher

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Saturday, November 08, 2008

Jen's Uncle

Jen's Uncle Jon passed away last Tuesday. He was laid to rest on Saturday.

Below are the words that Jen wrote to be read at his funeral. They are painfully beautiful.

To the world, Jon was introverted, shy, reserved, quiet --to me he was just “Jon”. Maybe if prompted to describe him in a few words I would say, “Jon’s not the kind of guy you can get to know just by meeting him.”

So as far as uncles go, Jon was the best. He was the uncle who was never too tired to drag the sled up the hill for another ride; who could spend all day at the swimming pool; who never tired of constructing forts in the basement. He knew the rules to every game (from chess to tennis) – and was always joyfully defeated by his seven and five-year old opponents. Days spent with Jon were full of fun and adventure…and if the night skies were clear, he would pull out his telescope and tell us the name of every star and crater in the moon.

Jon knew everything about everything. He knew the name of each flower, of every tree. He could tell you the variety of grass of every house along the street, as well as the seasonal pros and cons of each hybrid. He always knew the answers that “stuck” me on crossword puzzles (even at hospice on a morphine drip…and he could spell it!). Those of us who got to know him, knew he was funny, at times plain silly. Sometimes we just sat and laughed about nothing in particular. That’s the Jon I feel privileged to have known.

Jon loved classical music and Gilbert & Sullivan operas. When he wasn’t applying the subplots from HMS Pintafore to contemporary times, he was talking science. He could talk ad nauseam about thermodynamics, physics, and differential equations. In a recent discussion regarding my rowing team, I had told him that our goal time for a 3 mile race was 24 minutes…without hesitation he replied, “That’s an 8 minute mile or a little more than 11 ft per second.” Dumbfounded, I asked “why would you know that?” He just shrugged. I checked the math – he was right.

Jon has given me more than an thirst for knowledge or an appreciation of parabolic curves– he’s given me priceless (although sometimes painful) lessons in perseverance, strength, patience, hope, and faith, as well as countless other gifts that will only be clear with hindsight. It is for those bits of wisdom, gained by Jon allowing me to share in his journey, that I will always be grateful.

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Friday, November 07, 2008

Words, Words, Words

Polonius: What do you read, my lord?

Hamlet: Words, words, words.

Polonius: What is the matter, my lord?

Hamlet: Between who?

Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

Hamlet: Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue say here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab you could go back word.

Polonius: Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.


That has always been my favorite moment in Hamlet. It has stuck with me enough that frequently when people ask me what I'm reading I invariably answer: "words, words, words."

I bring this up because I've taken on the task of reducing the amount of words, um books, in my collection. It is a task that is slightly herculean.



So it begins...



Some would say that I don't need any direction in male chauvinism, those people would be mistaken. (Although this book was downsized.)



Books



That is a lot of unnecessary writing manuals.


Most of the downsized books will find their way to book sales. However, I might try to find good homes for some of these books on my own. So keep tuned to this frequency, I might post some of those books here.

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

Lunchtography

The picture below is what greeted me on Thursday as I left the Computer Mine on my lunch break.





In retrospect, I should have taken the time to take a decent picture. Rather this one out my car window while I was stopped at a stoplight.

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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Happy Birthday and or Election Day

Happy Birthday to Elainie!





Of course today is also Election Day. I'm not the type that tells people how to think or vote politically. I think everybody knows who I'm supporting.








However, I've never felt it necessary to try and convince people to think like me. I trust that everybody does their own research and comes to the conclusion that best fits their personal value structure.

Now I have to admit that my faith in humanity has not been rewarded very often. It seems to me that most people that I know that study politics seem to engage in optional stopping. They study the issue enough to find enough information to support their side of the issue or to figure out ways to trash the opposition, but don't actually do any real studying to understand both sides of the issue.

I'm sometimes considered an elitist, because there is literally only a handful of people that I'm willing to talk politics too. I'm pretty sure everybody who is on that shortlist knows who they are so I don't need to call them out. They are people that I respect because I believe that they can think logically rather than ideologically.

I think that this is a very exciting time to be following politics. I've cited this fact to a couple of different people and none of them have been very impressed by it, but I think it is incredible. It absolutely blows my mind. (I'm not citing this as a reason to vote for the man, just as an illustration of how far we have come in this country.)

Do you realize that an person that was born from a mixed racial family has the chance to carry Virginia in a Presidential Election? Think about this: at the time that Barack Obama was born, his parents were breaking the law in Virginia.

Those of you that get the Photography 139 calendar and put it up on your wall rather than just shoving it in a desk drawer may have noticed that I always put Loving Day on the calendar.

Many of you may have noticed June 12th was Loving Day, but just thought it was some bogus holiday made up by the greeting card industry to get guys to buy more flowers and chocolates for their ladies.

But is Loving Day about love?

It is in fact about love, but the name comes from a Supreme Court Case and the name of the Plaintiff just happened to be Loving. In 1967, in the case of Loving v. Virginia the Supreme Court made a ruling that legalized interracial marriage in the United States.

In 1958 Mildred Loving and Richard Loving were married in the District of Columbia. They left Virginia to get married because interracial marriage was illegal in Virginia due to the Racial Integrity Act. Upon their return to Virginia, the Lovings were arrested (the story is a little more lascivious than that) and sentenced to one year in prison.

The sentence was suspended on the condition that the Lovings move out of the state of Virginia. They did so, but their case made it to the Supreme Court.

In 1967 the Supreme Court overturned their convictions in a unanimous decision.

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.


It boggles my mind that within his own lifetime Virginia can have changed so much as to actually maybe consider voting for a man of mixed race.

This is not to say that this country has come all the way on racial matters. It hasn't. Not by a long shot. Not to mention that we have propositions on state ballots in this very election that are based entirely on prejudice (albeit not racial prejudice) such as Proposition 8 in California.

It just makes me hopeful for the country that we can become. Best country in the world? No question. Best country in history? Without a doubt. But there is still work to be done and I hope that Proposition 8 gets defeated in California and we take another step forward as a country.

Like I said, this is a great time to be following politics.

Remember what the great George Bernard Shaw said:

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

I hope everybody goes out an exercises their right to be one of the incompetent many. No matter how you are casting your ballot.

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Monday, November 03, 2008

Another Before

Shannon is getting ready to make her third donation to Locks of Love. She is getting her hair cut on Thursday. We went to Brookside Park and documented what she looked like now. There will be an after coming up at some point.















This is where Shannon found a stray cat a couple weeks ago. A cat that almost became friends with Franklin.



More of the cat tale.











She is getting something like 12-13 inches taken off. I'm excited to see how this turns out.

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Sunday, November 02, 2008

Before

One of my vacation projects was to attempt to bring as much of my stuff together as made sense and downsize as much stuff as I could.

I was able to accomplish some downsizing. I think my major accomplish was getting my old Hoosier Kitchen Cabinet out of storage. I knew it was slightly damaged when it went into storage, but it looks like it declined even further.


























When I was explaining the existence of this "Hoosier" to Shannon she became excited. You could even say jealous. She even had a recommendation as to a person that would be able to fix it and return it to its former glory.

Shannon's dad picked it up on Friday. I'll be excited to see what it looks like when he gets done with it.

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

All Hallow's Eve

I had a pretty good Halloween.

I hosted FNSC. I made chili. I made cornbread from scratch. I made apple cider. Jay made a blueberry buckle. Willy showed up in a costume. We watched some movies from a bygone era that some people might characterize as strange. However, I think I might have found proof that rabbits will jump off a table in one of these movies. A classic from the 1970s known as Night of the Lepus. A phenomenal movie.



Jay's annual sweet pumpkin.



I can not compete with Jay, so I made a stick figure to accent the disparity between our pumpkin carving skills. This annoyed Jay for some reason. I don't often do things out of spite, but I might have to make the stick figure my annual pumpkin because it both annoys Jay and because the simple stick figure grew on me as the night went on. I don't think it was just the apple cider impairing my judgment either.



The candles in Jay's pumpkin.



Scott and Austin; Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the Howard kids or the Davis clan. I'm going to get that done next year.



Jay carving his second pumpkin.



I had to buy a new flash recently because, well I don't want to get into that story. This might have been one of those blessing in disguise type things. I really like my new flash.



Although I've gotten glowing feedback on my Cider, chili, little smokies and cornbread, I think I'm going to have to research a new recipe for pumpkin seeds before next year. They take a decent picture at least.



I think if Willy dressed like this every week, he would be irresistible to the womanfolk. He probably already is though.


I also didn't get a picture of Alexis this year. I think she kind of phoned it in any way. She went to school dressed like Hannah Montana, but she showed up for trick-or-treating in her gymnastics outfit.

The best part about Alexis showing up was that she didn't even ring the doorbell. She just walked right in with her friends and said:

"Where's the candy?"

She was showing off for her friends just a little bit.

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