Hilarity Ensues

This is a video that I came across on YouTube. If you are a subscriber to this blog, you will actually have to go to the website to see it.

It is dedicated to anybody that thinks that it is pathetic to cry at the movies. That is a really cynical attitude. Especially this close to Mother's Day.


Mantage

Hippie Bashing

I post this video from The Daily Show for my hippie hating friends like Jay.

Colbert's Difference Maker

I don't even know what to think of this guy, but it is hilarious.

Rejected Valentine's Day Cards

I found this to be entertaining.

More for the Clinton Apologist

These videos crack me up. I dedicate them to my friend Russell, the Great Clinton Apologist.

Clinton Apologist

These videos are dedicated to Russell.

Prince?

This is mostly for Jay, but if you like Prince half as much as my sister Teresa's friend Louie, you might enjoy this as well. I do have just one question for you though: "Have you purified yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"






I'm not what you would call a "fan" of profanity. Not for any moral reasons, I just think swearing shows a lack of intelligence, creativity and worst of all: cognitive laziness. Excessive and unnecessary swearing is one of the truest indicators for White Trash. However, there are times when swearing is necessary and after watching the Prince movie Purple Rain recently, I now feel that it is necessary to flourish every time I swear. Watch for it next time I am in your company.

Not a Huckawas

I'm posting this for good friend Jason Baier. An excellent interview with Mike Huckabee on the Colbert Report. I can't put into words how great it is to have Colbert back!

The Presbyterian Experience

I've just had a few random thoughts cross my brain in the last few days.

Harvest Moon

Last night was the Harvest Moon. I didn't really get to check it out myself because it was cloudy and I fell asleep on the couch waiting for score updates from the Padres game. I hope somebody else out there enjoyed it.

Iowa State's New Uniforms

Yesterday Jamie Pollard announced the new Iowa State football uniforms. Take a look:











My main thing is that I'm very thankful that they didn't decide to go with white helmets. The cardinal helmets look awesome. I am not crazy about the logo. Nobody in the world identifies us as "I State", but at least the logo looks good on the helmets even if it doesn't make perfect sense.

The home uniforms do have a very distinct USC flavor to them, but I can handle that because I'd rather look like USC and have our real colors than look like a loser franchise like the Chiefs and be sporting red and yellow for some reason.



The New Peso?

I don't want to tell you what to think politically, but thanks to the completely unnecessary war in Iraq, Mr. Bush's War (thanks to all the people that caught that sweet reference to and indictment of our 4th President), the United States is borrowing 2 billion dollars a day from foreign governments. This has lead to the weakening of the dollar. So much so that the Canadian dollar is now worth more than the American dollar. To think just 5 years ago, the Canadian dollar was only worth 64% of the American dollar and now it is worth more. If we continue on this kind of decline it might at least resolve one political issue that I personal could care less about but am sick of hearing about, the United States might be come little more than flyover territory for illegal immigrants trying to make their way to Canada.

Why should the average American care? That two dollar package of tube socks at Wal-Mart is about to go up in price. The American dollar can't buy what it used to buy.


The Daily Show

Tomorrow night Aasif Mandvi from The Daily Show is going to be speaking at Stephens Auditorium. I'm pretty excited for this event. It is going to be awesome.

A little fun fact for you. I have revealed this fun fact before, but it is sort of related to the title of this journal entry.

Presbyterians is an anagram for Britney Spears. That is really about all I know about Presbyterians. However, after watching this video, I might have a clue what it is like to be a Presbyterian.

However, below is a video of Buck Henry's recent appearance on The Daily Show. The bit itself is only moderately funny, but there is a line in there I think Iowa women should hear. It is an interesting theory on why Iowa gets to have the first caucus in the nation. So if you are an Iowa woman or a fan of Iowa women, watch the video.






My only real response to this is, I guess I'm glad I was born in Iowa.

Aasif Mandvi

John Oliver canceled. The good news is that Aasif Mandvi is going to take his place on September 28th. This Aasif Mandvi news has emboldened my spirit. The only thing that could have been better would have been Jason Jones or perhaps Samantha Bee.

John Oliver Jokes for Teresa

If you don't like jokes about politicians having sex in public bathrooms after proposing a bill that would ban sex in a public place and their only excuse for having sex in a public bathroom is racism, you might want to skip this video. I'm posting it because I think John Oliver is hilarious and he is coming to Ames!!! Can I get a witness from the congregation?

A Hilarious Parody of Global Warming and The Rapture

I don't want to turn this "journal" into just a collection of funny things I saw on "The Colbert Report" of "The Daily Show", but the last week has been a great run for both shows.

Last night's "The Daily Show" included a special report by Jason Jones (the best correspondent on The Daily Show) on the other side of Global Warming.

I think you will find the end particularly amusing if you have seen an "Inconvenient Truth". I still haven't quite figured out why or how "Global Warming" became a religious issue. Darn that science for bringing enlightenment to the human mind! Perhaps we should just go back to the days where fools and bigots burned men at the stake who dare bring knowledge and enlightenment to the human mind. Actually I fear that we aren't that far away from regressing. I think Kansas has chosen to lead the way in this field.

Jesus Milk

Colbert on his ice cream and cow hormones. Classic merrymaking.

For J. Part II

As you may know. I'm only allow myself to watch 5 television shows. Watching any more television than that would be wasting God's precious gift of life. Well right now I am in a bit of a boggle because a new season of "The Deadliest Catch" has returned to the airwaves at the same time as the Discovery Channel's mind blowing 11 part documentary "Planet Earth". I now have 6 television shows that I allow myself to follow. This is spending a lot of time watching the "idiot box" AKA the "boob tube". So these are the 6 shows that I make a concerted effort to watch:

1. The Office
2 The Daily Show
3. The Colbert Report
4. Digging for the Truth
5. Planet Earth
6. The Deadliest Catch

That is a lot of television for one person to be watching. Then recently two of those universes collided. Not in the way that I've come to expect. The way that "The Daily Show" begot "The Colbert Report". Not in the way that "The Office" is loaded up with talent that got its start on "The Daily Show". It was in the interview way. My favorite captain (Sig Hansen) was a guest on The Daily Show last night.

Jay Janson is both a crustacean man and a fan of "The Deadliest Catch". I post this video below for him since he didn't get a chance to witness this congruence.

For J.

In case you missed it.

The Daily Show on Imus

This was on the Daily Show Last Night. It tickled this guy's funny bone.





Then continued on to this video:

For Teresa

I Liked This Joke Too . . .

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

A Morality Tale - Well That is a Bit of a Reach

So I subscribe to the Comedy Central Joke of the Day. It is a wretchedly run service that often repeats the same joke up to 5 days in a row on occasion. Even when they send out a new joke it often isn't funny. This is the joke of the day from this date. It isn't particularly funny, but it reminds of some of the people of have dealt with professionally and what they thought was necessary to be a successful boss.

Who Runs the Body?

In the human body, which organ is in charge?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an *sshole.

This Joke Made Me Smile

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

"Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"