Redzband

Friday was the first Ames on the Half Shell event of the season. I have to say I was surprised by the large turnout considering that Ames was flooded. Below are a handful of pictures from the event.

















Of course there are a few more pictures in the Ames Jaycees Album in the Snapshots Gallery.


Snapshots Gallery


This week at Ames on the Half Shell is Murphy's Law. It is also Family Night. I understand that there is a slew of awesome things for kids to do, but I'll write more on those later.

A few of you have told me that you will be coming out for Family Night. I look forward to seeing you there and hope a few more of you make the trip out as well.

6:30

I had the pleasure of waking up this morning to water in the basement.











On the plus side, tonight is the first Ames on the Half Shell event of the year. I'd say if it isn't raining, the place to be tonight is Ames on the Half Shell. Redzband is playing tonight. The event lasts from 5-8. Bandshell Park. Don't know what else you need to know.

Too Hot for Photobucket

I've been thinking on a topic lately and I've come to the conclusion that I just need to write about it and then be done with it. I've been thinking about junk in art. Not refuse or garbage, but the male productive organ or the penis. I will refer to the penis as junk for the rest of this entry to prevent some people from giggling while they read this treatise.

When it comes to junk, I'm not all that different than most men. The only junk I'm really interested in is my own. However, through a series of events and a trip to Fort Dodge I've been a little more interested in junk in the world of art. To put more succinctly, why is the world so afraid of junk? To whittle it down a bit more, why is the world so afraid of gypsum junk?

I first came interested in the Cardiff Giant several years back while reading a US News and World Report on hoaxes. Although on the surface, the Cardiff Giant hoax was not as interesting as the Breatharianism Cult, but it had Central Iowa connections, so I was interested.

Near the end of the 19th Century a man (described as either an atheist or agnostic depending on the source) went to hear a preacher speak. The preacher relied heavily on a segment of Genesis that says that giants once walked the Earth.

This lead to a dispute between the preacher and the man about how literal one was to take the Bible. The preacher insisted that giants walked the Earth and that they were 12 feet tall. The 12 foot part the preacher said that he "just knew".

The man left the revival meeting and got an idea. He went to Fort Dodge and bought a big block of gypsum for a barrel of beer. He then took the gypsum to the nearest railhead (Boone) and shipped it to Chicago. In Chicago he hired a man to sculpt a giant.

His exact orders were: "Make me a naked giant! Make him look like he died in agony."

After the sculptors were done the man took the giant to his cousin's farm in New York where they buried it. They waited almost a year and then the cousin ordered a new well to be dug right where they had buried the giant.

The well diggers found the giant and learned men and fools came from all over the country to have a look at the giant. There was a great debate at the time about whether or not the giant was a petrified man or an ancient statue. The man and his cousin began charging people to see the giant.

After the man and his cousin had made a tidy fortune on their con, the truth was discovered. People still came to see the giant though.

The original gypsum giant resides in a museum in Cooperstown, New York. Fort Dodge had a replica made and it is housed in the Fort Dodge museum. Since I don't think I will be making it to New York at any time in the near future, Baier and I conspired to make a pilgrimage up to Fort Dodge to see their version. This trip came with the nice little ancillary benefit of annoying Russell who hates Fort Dodge despite the fact that he is a Dodger.

I knew that the Cardiff Giant was anatomically correct (to an impressive degree) because of some of the reading I had done on it in preparation for the trip. I did not expect that this one section of gypsum that made the Cardiff Giant a man would be somewhat controversial.

I for one don't really desire to see junk. However, I don't see anything wrong with including junk in art. It is the way that we are constructed. There is no reason to pretend that we are not.

However, about a week before the trip it came to my attention that not everybody was comfortable with the junk of the Cardiff Giant just being left out there blowing in the wind, so to speak.

I was talking to Shannon about the trip one night. She told me that Living History Farms has their own version of the Cardiff Giant that they brought out for special occasions. She knew the guy that had sculpted their giant. Their giant was more "modest".

The word modest has a few different definitions. Since I don't have any problem with showing junk in art, I immediately glommed onto the definition of modest that relates to size. He was more modest meant to me that LHF had decided to reduce the giant's endowment. I did not question her at the time.

The day of the big trip arrived.

Baier and I loaded up into the Rideshare van. We made a stop at the Whistle Stop Cafe for breakfast and then headed north towards the Cardiff Giant.

When we arrived at the Fort Dodge Museum we made a pact that the Cardiff Giant would be the last thing that we would see.

We ambled through the rest of the museum letting the anticipation build. After a couple of hours the Trainwreck that I had knocked down at the Whistle Stop came back on me and I visited the little boys room.

While I was enjoying the environs of the Fort Dodge Museum bathroom, Judas Baier broke our pact. When I began walking across the Fort's courtyard he came strolling towards me from the corner of the fort that houses the Cardiff Giant exhibit. I cold feel that he had betrayed me.

"I couldn't wait, I had to sneak a peek."

"What? You jerk. We had a deal."

"All I can say is there must be a very happy stone lady out there somewhere."

So it was true. The Cardiff Giant was a giant among men in all conceivable ways.











If I had immediately published this entry as soon as I returned from Fort Dodge I would have never even considered blurring out the junk of the Cardiff Giant. To me it is just art and it is just junk. It is natural. I blur it now because I know that the Cardiff Giant's junk is a major threat. How or why? I don't know.

However, as the days wore on the word "modest" began to dig at me. It was one thing to not make the giant anatomically correct. I began to wonder if what Shannon meant by modest was that they had simply deprived the Giant of his manhood and never gave the Giant at LHF any junk.

The Fort Dodge Museum had already committed this heinous crime by not making the Cardiff Giant in the Cardiff Giant gift set anatomically correct.



Crime Against a Statue


I don't get it. If I pick up a knockoff of Michaelangelo's David, they don't get rid of his junk. What is so dangerous about the junk of the Cardiff Giant?

My imagination began to work at a feverish pitch. I decided that LHF was a museum and it is my belief that a museum pursues truth. Sometimes truth is a big gypsum junk. Maybe some people have a problem dealing with it, but that isn't the problem of the museum. A museum has to sometimes be in your face with the truth, yes even if that truth is a big gypsum junk.

So I decided that when Shannon said modest she must have meant that they shrank his endowment. This set my mind racing as well. Why would you do such a thing? Who would do such a thing? Do you have to have a meeting to do such a thing? Or can the sculptor make a unilateral decision?

In my mind I see the sculptor looking at his block of gypsum. Then he looks at a blueprint with dimensions. Then he looks back at the block of gypsum. Then he stares harder at the dimensions of the Giant's junk.

Then he scoffs to himself and says out loud: "I don't think so buddy. 3 inches is more than enough."

But what if it wasn't the insecurity of the sculptor that lead to the Giant being robbed of his manhood. What if this was a committee meeting? I have sat through a ton of meetings lately. I have no problem imagining the leader of a meeting standing in front of a group.

"The next thing on the agenda is deciding on the girth of our Cardiff Giant replica's junk."

"Why are we discussing this, shouldn't we just use the same dimensions as the original Cardiff Giant?"

"It has come to the committee's attention that there are people out there that are not comfortable with the giant being so giant."

"Isn't that just their own immaturity. I mean it is just junk."

"We are a family museum."

"Then what is family friendly. 3 inches, 4, 5?"

Then a vote would have been taken on the matter and a few inches were lopped off.

I contacted Shannon to find out exactly what she meant by modest. As it turns out, modest to LHF means that the Giants is "covering his junk." I have to confess, that possibility never once crossed my mind. I don't like it any better than what I thought had happened, but at least nobody had looked at the Giant and willfully denied his his full endowment.

A few days later I was talking to Baier and filling him on the definition of the term modest. As it turns out, he was talking to his wife about the Cardiff Giant. When she was in High School they took a field trip to the Fort Dodge Museum. The corner that housed the Cardiff Giant was roped off. They were denied access.

Unbelievable.

What is the deal? It is just a statue. The Baiers hail from Audubon. That is a town that houses a 40 foot tall anatomically correct bull statue. A statue with junk isn't new to them.

I finally had decided to come to peace with the world and its anti-Cardiff Giant junk crusade. Then one thing happened. While I was preparing for this blog I uploaded a full body picture of the Cardiff Giant to Photobucket. Photobucket is where I house all of the pictures I embed in blogs.

I had some busy days and nights and I posted some less ambitious entries in its stead. Then yesterday when I went to Photobucket to upload some images I saw a shocking thing. My full length picture of the Cardiff Giant had been deleted because it violated some part of the licensing agreement.

"This was the most unkindest cut of all."

So now I blur the junk of the Cardiff Giant and I house the images on my own server. I am probably on some FBI watch list now. Great.

I worry now that we are heading towards that future world that was predicted by the prophetic film Zardoz. A world where junk is considered evil.

Parkersburg

Jason has relatives in Parkersburg. On Monday, Carla and Jason went up to Parkersburg to help his relatives with the damage to their property after the tornado. Here is a portion of an e-mail that Carla sent out about Jason's relatives experience with the tornado:

Yes, the relatives are all fine physically. Nothing is more important than family!

The grandparents (Ben & Esther) were in Okoboji visiting Roger & Carol when the tornado passed through, but they got back yesterday while we were raking their yard. They were shocked to see their town of many years, leveled. They were happy to see their house standing, but sad for their neighbors. I don't think it really set in on Esther though. Ben looked like it hit him pretty hard and he was the one we were worried about all day.

Bev, Lonnie & Chad were camping at the nearby campground when the watch was issued for the area so they left the campground north of Parkersburg to seek shelter at Ben & Esther's house.

Allie was a senior at Applington-Parkersburg. They had her Open House on Mother's Day. She was out at other open houses when she called and told her Mom & Dad she was coming home because the weather looked like it was going to be bad on tv. She is afraid of thunderstorms. She got home ten minutes before the siren went off.
Ty had just finished mowing the grass and working on her flower bed so she went inside to change clothes when Allie got home. When the siren went off they, along with Dean, ran down to the basement where they pulled an air mattress over their heads. Ty had her arms around Allie and Dean laid on top of them with the mattress.
Ty said Allie screamed the whole time and they were shaking. They were shaking so hard, their muscles hurt.

All Ty said she could hear was Allie screaming.

Dean said it sounded just like they say on Tv... like a train is coming right at you. He said he just held onto the girls and the mattress for dear life. He said it only lasted about 45 seconds. It was very quick. Then he walked up the basement stairs because it became very quiet and he could see light coming down the stairs.
They said when they came up the stairs, they were in total shock.
Ty said just 20 minutes before, she was outside working on flowers and suddenly she had nothing.

They are homeless and they don't have any vehicles, no clothes... nothing. But they have their lives.

Their neighbor was injured and Dean pulled him out of the basement for his wife. Dean said even though he was breathing, he knew he wasn't going to make it because the back of his head was bleeding and, as he looked down to the ground, he said "it was gone." So... we gathered from that statement that he had a severe head injury. The neighbor died overnight.

When we went to the house yesterday morning at 7am, it was the first time they'd been back during daylight hours. They all cried. Their son Josh and his wife Brooke live in West Des Moines and they came up too.

It's a really strong emotion when you stand there and think of how quickly their lives changed... 45 seconds. And it can happen to anyone at anytime.

So then we all started searching the rubble. Ty and Dean wanted to find their purse and wallet... because they had no money, no ATM card, no credit card to do or buy anything.

Allie needed to find her golf clubs and school uniform because she is golfing at the state tournament today.

Ty also wanted to find her wedding rings. She had two sets - her original set and an anniversary set that she had taken off and put on her nightstand to do gardening.

We found everything except the anniversary wedding ring. They said they would keep sifting and sifting until they find it.

Carla also sent out some pictures:















































Jason is going back up on Friday to help out some more.

The Taiwan Times - May Edition

Here is Mark's latest newsletter about his mission work in Taiwan. I guess when I think about it, Mark might be the volunteeringest person I know. After all, every moment of his waking day he is doing mission work.

I was particularly pleased to see that Mark has started an American football club in Taiwan. I am hoping that this is the first blow that brings down the worldwide domination of that other football game known as soccer.

The Taiwan Times

By Mark Wolfram

Reporting on God’s mission in Taiwan

May 2007

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Matthew 6:25-30

This Bible verse was the text for the sermon today. I also sang a song with the Salvation Youth Group, which had this verse as the theme. What a comfort it is to know that God will take care of our needs and that we do not need to worry. As a missionary, much of this also comes from support back home. I want to thank you all for your continued support and concern for the mission work I am doing here in Taiwan. God continues to richly bless my time here, and it is not possible without the support of so many people in America. I would like to pass on some great news! I found out a couple of weeks ago that I am fully funded for next year’s service. Praise God for the quickness with which this happened. He always provides what we need.

In this newsletter I would like to share a story about the chance I had to witness to a student here at Concordia Middle School. This past year I helped start an American Football Club with Kevin, another American missionary here in Taiwan. At CMS, students come to school approximately 2 Saturdays every month. Most of these Saturdays they have 2 periods of club time from 8:30-10:10. In this time students can sign up for different clubs that interest them. There are a great variety of clubs, a few of which include the movie club, ping-pong club, the science club and the service club.

For our football club we have 15 boys who come and play 2 hand touch football. We started the club in the fall by practicing different drills, and also slowly teaching the students new plays. Now, we scrimmage for most of the time and the kids have taken ownership of creating plays. While it does mean waking up early on a Saturday morning, it is a blast when I am out there playing with the kids.

Once last month during football club, we took a 15 minute break to rest up and re-hydrate. I spent most of the break talking with an 11^th grade student named Henry. Out of all of the kids in the club, Henry probably has the most natural talent. Kevin and I both peg him as a perfect tight end or linebacker on an American football team. He’s a really nice kid who is always willing to help out by taking attendance or translating instructions for the other guys.

During the break, I had a chance to talk to Henry about his plans. I asked him about where he wanted to go to college and what he wanted to be. In the course of the discussion Henry asked me why I came to Taiwan. I had the chance to share with him how I knew that God had called me to Taiwan, and that God brought me here to share the news about Jesus. Henry did not respond with much, other than he thought that it was good for me to be here at CMS. I know it was just a small conversation, but I pray that God will continue to use me as a witness to Henry and the other students I have in football club. I really appreciated the chance to witness and share with students outside of the classroom environment.

It’s Prayer Time!

Here are the prayer requests for this month. As always we lift these up according to the will of God, praying for Him to be glorified through everything.

1. Pray that God would give me the strength needed to finish the school year. This semester has been extremely busy with classes, Bible Studies, and additional online college courses.
   
2. Pray for Salvation Lutheran Church, as we still do not have a pastor. Pray that God would prepare the people and future pastor for work together.
3. Praise God for all of the support both from my family and friends back in the United States.
4. Pray for God to raise up people to come and serve here in Taiwan. We are currently short one person for the high school.

In Christ,

Mark

Memorial Day and the Crystal Skull

Memorial Day wasn't really meant to be a good-time-feel-good holiday. It was established to honor Union Soldiers that died in the Civil War and was first known as Decoration Day.

Regardless of its original intentions, this solemn holiday has become a chance for most Americans to barbecue and enjoy a 3 Day weekend. I'm not different than most Americans. I just wanted to have a good time on Memorial Day.

My day started out good enough. I watched 4 straight hours of Animal Planet with Alexis in the morning. Jay came over and we had tacos and nachos for lunch. Then we headed over to the Cinemark to catch a matinée of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull with Derrick.

+++SPOILERS+++

Usually I'm not the type of person that gives away spoilers about movies. I want people to see movies on their own, but this is one movie that I don't feel the need to protect any of its secrets. This movies is a piece of garbage.

I've alway been a big fan of the Indiana Jones movies. Sure Temple of Doom blows a little bit, but the other 2 are excellent. Crystal Skull is an insult to all 3 of those movies.

I didn't understand why so many Star Wars fans were upset with the prequels that came out a few years back. True, they weren't very good, but the first 3 Star Wars movies stunk as well. What was the big deal? Instead of 3 movies with terrible acting and writing now you had 6 of them. Star Wars fans should have been elated.

I still don't understand Star Wars fans, (there are certainly much, much better science fiction movies out there, I refer you to the two that Stanley Kubrick made 2001: A Space Odyssey and A Clockwork Orange just for starters) but now I can relate to them a bit. I've seen a movie franchise that I love torn to shreds before my very eyes.

On Sunday when we were driving down to The House of Bricks Willy told me that Crystal Skull was not very good. I told him that I could handle it if it wasn't very good, but I would not be able to handle one thing. If they tried to set up a series of sequels starring Even Stevens, I would be angry. I would leave the theater in a rage.

I should have seen the warning signs. Even Willy would be the first to admit that I have much higher standards for movies than he does. The dude loves Van Damme movies!

Despite my bold proclamations, I left the theater angry. In fact, I haven't been this angry leaving the theater since I sat through the misogynistic propaganda piece masquerading as entertainment known as Sin City. I was madder than when I left the theater after Transformers. Another example of taking something I loved from my childhood and making it suck. Incidentally also starring Even Stevens.

The one good thing I can say about Crystal Skull is that they didn't end the movie by setting up sequels for Even Stevens. They came close. They made you think that is what they were going to do. At the end of the movie Indy's hat blows off a hat rack and rolls to a stop at Even Stevens' feet. As he bends over to pick up the hat, Indy picks it up before him and puts it on his head. Me physically vomiting in the aisles was averted.

I suppose that I don't have time to write on all the things I hated about this movie, because there are so many of them. I'll try to keep it to just two.

ALIENS!!!!

Are you kidding me? Could Lucas and Spielberg not turn the last Indiana Jones movie into a science fiction movie? I now fully expect that the next Spielberg WWII movie to involve aliens in some way, shape or form.

CGI!!!

CGI has already, for the most part, ruined most summer movies. It was as if they had missed the point of the first three movies. They were an homage to old time serial movies and they were done with trick photography and stuntmen. Crystal Skull is an homage to the other 3 movies basically, only with way too much CGI. I should have known it was coming when the first shot of the movie features a CGI prairie dog.

My day was ruined from that point on and I don't think that there was much that could have happened to turn my day around.

+++SPOILERS OVER+++

My day did turn around though. I headed out to Roland for Monica's barbecue. The only low point of the barbecue was having Happy Birthday sang to me for the third time in 8 days. I'm glad I won't have to hear that again for some time. Although Monica did make me a sweet Jello birthday cake.















































I don't really like getting presents all that much. Unless it is something the person has made, like a sweet painting or piece of stained glass or cake or rhubarb pie or a card.

Teresa sent me this birthday card.



Front



Inside



Back


There is the occasional exception. Sara got me this sweet gift:





The camera is 30 years old and still is in its original box. This will look great on my shelf of old cameras.

Sundaze

Sunday was an interesting day for me.

I started the day as a greeter for church. There were a couple unique events at church on Sunday. 4 of the churches in the area combined choirs and toured their churches. One of the other 4 churches is the Central Christian Church, so it was a rare Sunday that I got to see my grandma sing.

She is in the lower left side. She is the one that looks like my Mom. I should point out that this picture was taking during rehearsal. Normally those pews are filled up.

Lowell's youngest Holden was baptized.



Lowell's family with Phil


Plus I'm throwing up a bonus image of the Jesus and rice that Andrea used during Children's Time.






A small group of us, (I will now call them my Inner Sanctum) went to the House of Bricks to see Shawn's band Act of Gravity. They put on a good show despite not being aided by the sound guy.

There was a pretty sweet moment when Shawn was rocking the drums so hard the banner for the Albino Spiders came partially unfurled.

After Act of Gravity was done, a carnival act performed. They billed the dude as a fire eater, but I'm not convinced that I couldn't have duplicated the same act.

He put either a sugar cookie or a pineapple (although to me it looked like pound cake) in 151 then lit it on fire and ate it. It wasn't all that impressive.

The other interesting thing about the fire eater was that he was dressed like a drag queen, but had put enough makeup on to look like a mime. Very interesting.

After the hard rocking show, we were joined by a few other friends (that I will now refer to as my Inner Circle) at Hu Hot. I think an enjoyable time was had by most and it set up what I was hoping would be an enjoyable Memorial Day.

Des Moines Art

I went down to the Des Moines Art Center for the first time since maybe the 6th grade on Saturday.

I met Stephanie and her friend Katie down there. I was impressed with the collection that Des Moines has and was doubly impressed that it was free. We had about 2 hours to spend in the museum and I don't think that it was enough time. I think I'll have to go back there again in the future so I can spend more time with certain pieces.

I found plenty of pieces that I loved and plenty of pieces that I hated, so by my definition it was a successful trip.

Like most art museums, they don't let cameras inside, but below are a few pictures from outside the museum.








































Looking at the pictures I took I'm reminded of the old quote:

"Art is man's nature. Nature is God's art."

I did find a very cool non-art thing at the Art Center, but it seems that most people with whom I share this find, in turn have a reaction that ranges between revulsion and apathy. I'll keep that find quiet for now.

Special Olympics

I had a chance to catch up with an old friend of mine today, Kim Lively.

Kim used to by my lobby person when I was running Campus. She was competing today in the 50 meter run at the Special Olympics.

I found out that the Lively family was named Family of the Year. It doesn't surprise me, I've known Kim and her mom for several years now and they are both such wonderful people.

I managed to get a couple pictures of Kim.














This year's Special Olympics marks like the umpteenth time in a row where I left the Special Olympics thinking that I'm going to take time off work and volunteer next year. Now that I know that Becky (the most volunteeringest* person I've ever met) volunteers for Special Olympics I might see about making her my Accountability Buddy for making sure that I volunteer next year.

* I realize that volunteeringest isn't a word, but bugger off the English language is constantly evolving and it will be a word soon enough.

Celebration Nonterminus

It has been an interesting week thus far.

I thought that yesterday I was going to take a major step forward towards fixing my car situation. Jason and I had scoped out a 2004 Buick LeSabre on Car Trader. It was right within my desired price range and only had 33,000 miles on it.

I called down to the dealership in Perry to make sure the car was still there and then I left work early and we headed down. Basically as we pulled onto the lot, the car we came to look at drove off the lot with its new owner.

The car had sat on the lot since September without being sold. In the two hours between when we called down to see if it was still on the lot and showed up on the lot it had been sold.

I'm not much of a fate guy, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. The car search continues.

Birthday Gatherings

I have not celebrated my birthday much recently. However, this year it seems to be over celebrated. I had a barbecue with the family on Sunday. Jay took me to West Side Deli for lunch on Monday. I had lunch with Stephanie at Dublin Bay on Tuesday.

Check out the sweet hunk of bread she brought me from Pittsburgh:



From the Allegro Bakery in Pittsburgh, PA


On Tuesday night Baier, Russell and Andree took me out to King Buffet. I've gotten a few phone messages from people wanting to give me "late cakes" or go see Indiana Jones next week. So the Sunday gathering might be a small group, but perhaps it will be just the right number of people.

Cool Kids Sunday

I'd like to pimp my friend Shawn's band's next concert and tell you what the cool kids will be doing this Sunday.

You may remember Shawn as the drummer from the group UnHingd.

He is currently rocking with his new band Act of Gravity.

They are playing this Sunday at the House of Bricks in Des Moines. The show starts at 5 PM. They are the first band on the docket.

Shawn is the badass looking dude with his arms crossed on the left.

I'll be down there celebrating my birthday (1 week late), so that is an extra reason you should stop in an check out the show.

If you need more information, you know who to contact.

Bad Photos

I got all of the old pictures off of my phone. There aren't a terribly large amount of pictures on there because the old phone is about 4 years old and didn't have much memory on it.

It turns out almost every picture on that phone ranges from bad to horrible. Although some are amusing.






































































One major plus of the new phone is the memory card. I can use pictures taken by a real camera for the Caller ID Photo. As you can tell by these images, that will make a big difference.

Magnetic Moment

Tonight at the Ames on the Half Shell meeting we got the new magnets for this coming season. Opening Night is less than 2 weeks away.





I have a few of these magnets that need a good home. If you can put one of these up in a public place where other people can see it and think: "hmmmm.... I think I would like to go check out Ames on the Half Shell this Friday" or at least can pledge to come to at least one event and would like one of these snazzy magnets, let me know and I will hook you up.

I still stand by my advice that if you have a family you should at least come to the Family Night on June 6. There is going to be a ton of cool stuff for children to do. Did somebody say: Hold their parents beer?

There will be other cool stuff as well, but all of the details have yet to be hammered out. Keep tuned to this frequency for further updates.

If you don't have a family, I would urge you to come check out Kountertop on July 18. They are the band that I had the most influence in booking and would like to see a large crowd of people there to support them.

Think it over and let me know if you can help us out by helping the magnets get the word out.

Mt. St. Helens Anniversary

On May 18, 1980 three things happened.

1. Mt. St. Helens erupted.
2. Stephanie Kasper was born.
3. I turned 5.

5 years earlier I was born.

A cousin of mine once gave my two sisters and I the very backhanded compliment that we turned out pretty well considering the white trash from which we came.

I don't want to dwell on that story and its obvious hypocrisies. I use it to illustrate a point. If I ever become a person worth remembering historians will note that on the date of my birth my parents were at The Hillbilly Auction.

Now I wasn't born at The Hillbilly Auction. Although that would have made a great story. It will be noted by some future scholar that even "Greatness" can come from such humble roots. "Christopher D. Bennett's mom went into labor while she was manning the antique booth at The Hillbilly Auction" the future narrator of a documentary will intone while on the screen will flicker an actress playing my mom in 1970s garb sitting in front of a camper with a bunch of antiques sitting on a table in front of her clutching her stomach. An actor portraying my dad will come out of the camper and rush to her side.

I don't know if there will be actresses portraying my sisters. I don't know if they were there. I should look into that. I want them in the documentary even if they weren't there. A pig tailed red headed little kid to portray Teresa. A dark skinned black haired actress to portray Carla. It seems like I'm missing a perfectly good opportunity to post pictures of them from their childhood. I'll have to look into that too.

Well 33 years later, I can't return to The Hillbilly Auction. Instead, I witnessed the evidence that my niece Alexis is a hooligan.



Just Look at this Vandalism!

Although I do approve of her use of colors, but the message is so cliche. I will expect better from her in her future acts of vandalism.

I also took a ride down to Jester Park in the Howardmobile. My car decided to no longer have brake lights. I'm going to need to do something about that in the near future. Any way, check out some pictures.


























It was a perfectly adequate birthday. I also got this sweet birthday card from Teresa. I need to scan that and post that at some point in the future.

300

The subject of this entry is not a reference to the Spartans. This is the 300th entry in An Artist's Notebook.

This post is mostly to announce to the world in general:

"You've beaten me, again!!"

It isn't the first time that the world has beaten me. It certainly won't be the last.

A few weeks back I indicated that I was getting an alarmingly high amount of text messages on my phone and it was time to get a text messaging package. I knew that the bell had tolled for me, but I did nothing about it.

Until today. After volunteering at the Jaycee's Bowling Challenge (where incidentally I think I was the least favorite volunteer of the people running the Challenge) I made the trip to the mall and signed up for a text messaging package.

There you have it world. You win again. Feel free to text message me to the fullest of your heart's desire. You won't hear me grumble about it ever again.

I also picked up a new phone. The keypad was fading fast on the old phone. I didn't pick up anything fancy like Jesse or Willy. However, I do now get the joy of putting in new Caller ID Photos of my friends and create new ringtones for them. That will give me something to do. I just need to figure out just the right song and just the right picture for each friend.

I still need to get the old pictures off my phone. That could make for an interesting entry some time in the future.

Lessons Learned in a Giant's Town

On May 10, 2008, I loaded up into the famous Rideshare Van with Baier and we headed to Fort Dodge to tour the Fort Dodge Museum and see the "Real" Cardiff Giant.

I already knew that there would be a certain amount of controversy surrounding the trip and the Cardiff Giant due to the Cardiff Giant's phallus. However, I will delve more deeply into the realm of the Cardiff Giant and his junk later. Today I just want to cover some of the salient points of the trip.

We did some important things like:



Take the Traditional Road Trip Photo



Pretend to be Repentant Prisoners



See the Cardiff Giant


However we also learned a few things on this trip.

Check out the "Conditions for Employment for Teachers" in 19th Century Central Iowa.


Like You Can Read That! Stop Squinting!


Since you can't read that, let me start out by saying I know some womenfolk that I hold in very high regard. Some of them its even for their morality. But I don't know a single womanfolk that could hold to these standards or would even bother trying.

Conditions for Employment

• Must not dress in bright colors
• Dresses must not be more than two inches above the ankles
• At least 2 petticoats must be worn (I'd kind of like to know why that matters.)
• Petticoats will be dried in pillowcases (Again, why does that matter?)
• Teachers will not marry
• Teachers will not keep company with men
• Will not get into a carriage or automobile with any man, except her brother or father
• Teachers are expected to be at home between the hours of 8 pm and 6 am.
• Teacher will not smoke
• Teacher will not play cards
• Teacher will not dye her hair under any circumstance (Not even if dressing as Ginny Weasley for Halloween)
• Teacher will attend church each Sunday
• Teacher will either teach Sunday School OR sing in the choir
• Teacher will not leave town without permission of the Chairman of the School Board
• BUT THIS ONE IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE: Teachers will not loiter at ice cream stores

Another lesson learned on this trip is that the man who carved the "Real" Cardiff Giant looked eerily similar to Donald Pleasence's Doctor Loomis character from the horror movie classic Halloween (1978).




Doctor Loomis


Haddonfield isn't all that far away. I bet Smith's Grove isn't that far away either. Perhaps he just swung over on his breaks.

Even though I haven't watched a horror movie in many a year now, I still have thoughts like this running through my head (in Donald Pleasence's voice) when I look at the Cardiff Giant:

I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the *devil's* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that [Giant's] eyes was purely and simply... *evil*.

Or

- I- I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room, staring at a wall, not seeing the wall, looking past the wall - looking at this night, inhumanly patient, waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off. Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. Now you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it.

Or

This isn't a man.

A final non-gypsum-phallus related lesson we learned is never eat at the Fort Dodge Bonanza, no matter how nostalgic you are feeling for the old Ames Bonanza. The high point of that meal was watching an employee refill the buffet with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

There are many more pictures posted in the famous Snapshots Gallery in The Cardiff Giant Road Trip Album:

Snapshots Gallery


There are some bonus pictures in the Friends Album that you have to be a Registered User to see. There might have been some rules violations in those pictures and I don't feel right posting those for the whole world to see after the Museum Director asked to buy some pictures off of me.

The Big Jesus

Last Friday Jesse and I embarked on a road trip that we lovingly named The Big Jesus Road Trip. Our final destination and epoch of the trip was a 33 foot tall stainless steel Jesus statue.

A plan was hatched and a route was devised. The plan was set in motion. Considerations were made. Including starting the road trip by listening to the Audio Adrenaline song Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus.

I could move to hollywood (yeah)
get my teeth capped i know i could
be a big star
on the silver screen
just like james dean
i could be a star
i could climb the corporate ladder

maybe be just like the beatles
melodic rocking heavyweights
i could learn to sing and dance
if i only had a chance
i could be a big rock star

i could be anything i wanted to
i could do anything but one thing's true
never gonna be as big as Jesus
hand
never gonna be as big as Jesus
never gonna build the promise land
but that, that's all right,
o.k. with me (bop bop bop bop ba dop, ooh!)

i could build a tower to heaven
get on top and touch the sky
i could write a million songs
all designed to glorify
i could be about as good
good as any human could
but that won't get me by

But in the end, we just headed out on the open road to the sound of the Taurus.



The Open Road - Highway 17 - Goodell, Iowa


We passed through the following cities:

• Stanhope
• Webster City
• Blairsburg
• Belmond
• Goodell
• Klemme
• Ventura
• Clear Lake
• Miller
• Duncan
• Britt
• Algona
• Cylinder
• Emmetsburg
• Mallard
• Pocahontas
• Cherokee
• Meriden
• Cleghorn
• Remsen
• Le Mars
• Merril
• Hinton
• Sioux City
• Lawton
• Moville
• Correctionville
• Early
• Lake View
• Auburn
• Carroll
• Glidden
• Jefferson
• Grand Junction

We did important things like:

Take the Traditional Road Trip Photo

Visit the Surf Ballroom

Visit the plane crash site that claimed the lives of Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens.



Feel the pain of finding out that the World's Largest Cheeto had been kidnapped.



Feel the thrill of seeing the World's Largest Cheeto when the waitress brings it out for a special appearance.

Meet this awesome guy

Kiss the Blarney Stone

Got a honk and a wave from the friendly ducks in Mallard

See the World's Ugliest Statue

See the Big Jesus (and Mary too)

See the Sgt. Floyd Memorial

I hope to go into more detail about the trip in the near future. Until then, you can check out many, many more pictures from the trip in my Snapshots Gallery.

Snapshots Gallery

Remember, becoming a Registered User allows you to leave comments, rate pictures and favorite pictures. All that is required is a valid e-mail address. Just click on the "Register" link when you get to the Snapshots Gallery.

The Most Fun You Can Have with Caustics

On Monday night I aided in the production of the newest batch of Little White Lye Soap. I thought I would share an inside look at the Little White Lye Soap factory floor.



The Mixing Stick (Formerly Ergonomic)



Becky Stirring



A Self Proclaimed Master Stirrer Finishing Up



Preparing to Pour



Pouring


Pouring



Pouring



Pouring



Shannon Preparing to Pour Again



More Pouring



More Pouring



This Appears to be Hard Work (Plus Might be my favorite picture from the night.)



Washing Up



Cleaning Up



Putting Away the Crock


The soap was locked up into a cat-proof room where it will cure for 2 weeks. Then it will be cut up into bars and then packaged. Then the soap will be ready for delivery.

It takes close to 4 hours of stirring to make the soap, so sometimes that can lead to doing things like torturing the cat or as the Bush Administration would call it, Enhanced Cat Interrogation. I'm sure they would also point out that cats are not protected by the Geneva Convention.



Baiting Franklin



Franklin Has Been Captured


I don't want to go into details about what happened to Franklin, but it was unharmed and was only slightly angrier the rest of the evening.

Playing in the Mud

Tonight was the night that the Jaycees planted and tended to our Flower Garden in Brookside Park. 3 of us showed up to do it. Here are some dark and grainy and poor pictures from the experience.

















I'll most likely post pictures of the flowers as the year progresses or you can go to Brookside Park and get your own update.

Mother's Day Barbecue

Some random images from the Mother's Day Barbecue



Brandon



Alexis



Brandon



Carla



Carla



Carla



Elainie



Elainie



Jason



John



Teresa and Russ



Logan



Logan



"The Perfect Marshmallow"



Roasting Marshmallows



Russ



Russ Grilling



Russ and Brandon



Russ



Teresa


Since I know it would be missed if I didn't post it, the picture of meat.



The Meat




I hope your Mother's Day was at least 50% as enjoyable as mine.

Mother's Day

I hope everybody had a lovely Mother's Day.

The Mother's Day Peony is blooming right on schedule. Here are a couple of pictures.











More flower pictures to come in the future.

Hilarity Ensues

This is a video that I came across on YouTube. If you are a subscriber to this blog, you will actually have to go to the website to see it.

It is dedicated to anybody that thinks that it is pathetic to cry at the movies. That is a really cynical attitude. Especially this close to Mother's Day.


Mantage

LWL Products Page

A week back when I was publishing my endorsement of Little White Lye Soap the product pictures on the Little White Lye Soap were less than satisfactory. They have since been replaced and updated with way more acceptable pictures like this one:





I urge you to follow the link below and check out the new images:


Quality Handmade Products

Supper with the Ungs

So I went for dinner with Ungs last night. It was interesting because right before he stopped by to pick me up, he was just finishing up his job.

I don't know all of the details of his job, but part of it involves taking children home. On this night the last child that he dropped off pulled a knife on him. Well, this put a bit of a damper on our evening because the police kept calling in the middle of our dinner to find out if he wanted to press charges on this kid.

He didn't press charges, but I think it was because he thought it would have made him look weak to press charges on an 11 year old girl for pulling a knife on him.

At the end of our dinner he helped me out with a picture project that will be made public to anybody that e-mails me on Friday or Saturday. I can't post those pictures now, but I can post some of the test images that I took.

















He is soldiering on bravely after his knife episode. For the record, showing some leg didn't get him picked up. I guess that only works for women.

Some Storm

I rarely discuss the weather, but that was some storm last night. I wish I had some pictures of that storm to post, but I don't. I spent last night inside, like a coward. Rather than outdoors taking lightning pictures. Not because I am a coward, but because Crossroads just wasn't going to watch itself.

I do have some pictures of the storm aftermath to post that I took on the short jaunt from the back door to the car before I made the sojourn to the Computer Mine.



A Worm



Purple Tulip



A Leaf



Yellow Tulip



Peach Tulip



The first tulip of the year did not survive the storm.


On an unrelated note, The Mother's Day Peony is about to bloom. I took this picture a couple of days ago of an ant hard at work.



Peony


I suppose it is right on schedule.

Tell My Friend Willie Brown

I have a week chock full of fun activities, but I think one might stand above all the others. Tonight Derrick and I are having a little bonding time by watching Crossroads.

If you instantly thought of the Britney Spears movie, you are not my friend. Please erase my e-mail from your address book. Delete my phone number from your cell phone. Unless, you are willing to learn. Then you can remain my friend, but you may have to make amends for your sin.

Those of you that instantly thought of the 1986 Walter Hill classic, good job. You get a gold star and might get a birthday present from me if you meet the rest of the birthday present getting criteria.

This movie is so sweet that it even eclipses the other events from this week.

I got this wad of cash last night at the bowling league awards ceremony. Yes ladies and gentleman, that is what 38 smackers looks like.

But even getting money is eclipsed by Crossroads.


New Road Trip Hat


I'm even going on two road trips this week to break in my new Road Trip Hat. The Big Jesus Road Trip on Friday. Then on Saturday I'm going on The Cardiff Giant Road Trip. The Cardiff Giant Road Trip had taken on a bit of an added dimension after some information I received last Wednesday. I don't want too give too much away, but think "Gypsum Penis". At least if I correctly deducted what the term "modest" was meant to insinuate.

I'm also going to see Chicago on Thursday at Stephens.
Plus, I'm having supper tomorrow night at Jimmy's Barbecue.
If that isn't enough, there is serving food for the Mother-Daughter banquet on Saturday night.
Of course there is the traditional Mother's Day Barbecue on Sunday.

Yet they are all eclipsed by tonight's viewing of Crossroads.

Derrick recently went down to the home of Delta Blues for a 3 or 4 day extensive training session with Peavey in Meridian, Mississippi. I gave him the mission of either getting a Mississippi String Tie (which is what a bluesman wears in Mississippi) or at least making it to Highway 61.

The folks at Peavey kept him so busy that he never accomplished either mission. In fact the only time he was free from them he made a trip to a gas station. He did report to me that they served catfish at this gas station. We both agree that Gas Station Catfish would make either a great song or album title.

I thought I would just share some of my favorite scenes from Crossroads.



The Crossroads



"Where I come from, you don't blow no harp, you don't get no..."



Highway 61



Mississippi Blues Tie

"Look at this old guitar here you been squeakin' on. I bet you saw this thing in a music store and bought it just because you thought it was beat up! Well you got it all wrong. Muddy Waters invented electricity."

"Where you learn to play them pussy chords, in music school?... Now if you spend as much time with your hands on them strings as you do on this girl's ass, you might get somewhere."

"Lots of towns... Lots of songs... Lots of women... Good times... Bad times... Only thing I wanted anyone to say is... 'He could really play... He was good'. "

The Crossroads Again



The Devil's Guitarist



The Guitar Battle


Now that is a movie. I'm already getting me some of them Crossroads Blues:

I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above, have mercy now, save poor Bob if you please

Standin' at the crossroads, tried to flag a ride
Whee-hee, I tried to flag a ride
Didn't nobody seem to know me, everybody pass me by

Standin' at the crossroads, risin' sun goin' down
Standin' at the crossroads baby, the risin' sun goin' down
I believe to my soul now, po' Bob is sinkin' down

You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
That I got the crossroad blues this mornin', Lord, baby I'm sinkin' down

I went to the crossroad, mama, I looked east and west
I went to the crossroad, babe, I looked east and west
Lord, I didn't have no sweet woman, ooh well, babe, in my distress

Just Another Computer Guy

It has been over a week since The Great Insult. I have yet to fully recover.

To recap The Great Insult.

It was during a break in the fast paced action of the Ames Jaycees Sandbox Fill. I was sitting in the backseat with Jamie. We had been getting along famously, even exchanging the occasional high five. Then things turned ugly.

Somewhere along the way the discussion turned to vocations. It is possible that Shannon had asked one of her favorite questions: "Do they know that they pay you to do nothing?" I can't remember the exact events that transpired before The Great Insult, but I know how The Great Insult went down.

Jamie asked, "What do you do for a living?"

"I work for a small software company that makes software for child torturers. I work in the hardware department building computers and such."

"You seemed like a Computer Guy."

What? I immediately took offense to this statement. It was pointed out to me that I work for a computer company and by default that makes me a Computer Guy. Especially when I work in the hardware department. I can't argue that my job might make me a computer guy. I accept that fact. I embrace it.

On the other hand, it is an entirely different ball of wax to be putting out the vibe that I'm a Computer Guy. This is the way the conversation should go:

"I work for a small software company building computers and such."

"That surprises me."

"Why is that?"

"I would have guessed that you were a fighter pilot or stunt motorcyclist or snake handler or tortured artistic genius. I never would have guessed in my wildest dreams that you were just another computer guy."

It is one thing to be a Computer Guy. It is entirely a different thing for people to look at you and think that it makes sense that you are a Computer Guy.

This is a Computer Guy to me:

• Owns more than 1 guitar for Guitar Hero
• Took the day off that GTA 4 came out
• Own multiple video game systems

Maybe I'm thinking of a Video Game Guy and not a Computer Guy. Believe me, they are not the same. Video Game Guy doesn't have any useful skills. Darn it! Now I'm sticking up for Computer Guy. Let me try again:

• Can't put together full sentences.
• Doesn't own a clean shirt.
• Doesn't bathe all that much.
• Can tell you jokes in binary.
• Can't sustain eye contact.
• Laughs nervously at own attempts at humor.

I am very fluent, hilarious, always smell great (thanks to Little White Lye Soap), sustain eye contact when I want to and own numerous clean shirts. So you see, I'm clearly not a Computer Guy. I just play one at work.

False Snake Hype

I have been looking forward to today for quite some time.

After church Lowell and I attended a Methodist Men board meeting. I learned a lot about our future activities. We are serving the food at the Mother-Daughter Banquet this coming Saturday. We are serving Fellowship in the month of June. We are running the Church Food Stand for some Cattle Shows coming up. We are serving breakfast during one of the days of the coming tractor rally. So there are a lot of things going on this Summer. The convenient part is that most Methodist Men activities take place on Saturdays so it won't be a scheduling conflict with Ames on the Half Shell.

At 2 PM Teresa and I showed up for an Exclusive Series Preview of the upcoming season at Stephens. I was a little bit worried that we had wandered into a nursing home tour when we got in line to get our packet of information. We were the youngest people in the line by at least 40 years. Well by 50 years for me.

The presentation was on the stage at Stephens. I haven't been on the stage at Stephens since High School. From the stage you can really see what a beautiful auditorium it is and can tell why it is the Building of the Century.

They did a little program and announced the upcoming season:

• September 24 - Sweeney Todd
• November 2 - Vanguard Jazz
• November 6 - Movin' Out
• November 9 - Jerusalem Symphony
• November 23 - Lorie Line and her Pop Chamber Orchestra
• December 3 - Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
• December 18 - A Skaggs Family Christmas
• January 25 - Goodnight Moon/Runaway Bunny
• February 8 - The Peking Acrobats
• February 13 - The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
• February 20 - To Kill a Mockingbird
• March 27 - Blue Note Records Tour
• April 9 - The Drowsy Chaperone
• April 14-15 - Stomp
• May 1 - Australian Chamber Orchestra

From our preliminary discussions it seems that Teresa and I are slightly at odds as to what we want to go see. The one event I know that I want to see for sure is the Blue Note Records Tour. Teresa isn't overly interested in that one. For some reason she thinks that Kenny G. and David Sanborn is jazz. Perhaps, I have a friend out there that likes real jazz that I might be able to persuade into going.

At the end of the presentation they asked everybody to look at the back of their folder. If you had stickers on the back you won a door prize. Teresa had stickers on the back of her folder. I was expecting some cheesy door prize based on the lousy corporate events I had attended in the past, but what Teresa won was pretty sweet. She won 2 free tickets to see the Jerusalem Symphony (over a $100.00 value) and a couple of their CDs. So on November 9th, we will be going to see the Jerusalem Symphony for free and you can't beat that with a stick.

Roland

After the presentation we went up to Roland to check out the new house that Monica and Jeff are renting. When we got there we were warned to watch the grass because they had seen snakes everywhere in the yard. I was excited. I haven't seen a snake yet this year. I looked all over the yard (even in a compost pile) but I didn't find a single snake, let alone snakes. I was the victim of false snake hype.

I got the nickel tour of their new domicile. Monica, Jeff, Suzie and Cassie were painting. I grabbed a few pictures of them at work. I always love watching other people work.

Sweet Windmill. I think it needs to be sanded down and painted, but Monica thinks it looks awesome rusty. I respectfully disagree. It looks awesome rusty if you are going for some kind of Nouveau Texas Chainsaw Massacre look, but a splash of bright red would really do wonders for this thing, but it isn't mine.

Suzie slacking off.



The bathroom color.



Jeff painting the master bedroom.



Monica crawling.



Suzie playing with the masking tape.



Cassie painting the living room.


I think it is going to a pretty sweet place when they are done painting.


Ames on the Half Shell

The Band Selection Committee that I was on that kind of half ass did our job and has completed its work. Here is the list of bands that are going to be playing Ames on the Half Shell.

• May 30 - Redzband
• June 6 - Murphy's Law (Family Night)
• June 13 - Burnin' Sensations
• June 20 - Vivace
• June 27 - Box Brothers
• July 11 - Saucy Jack
• July 18 - Kountertop
• July 25 - 3AM Band

If you can only make it to one Ames on the Half Shell event this year, I urge you to attend Kountertop. They are excellent. Unless you have small children. In that case, come on June 6 and see Murphy's Law on Family Night. There are going to be a lot of cool things for small children on Family Night.

Cardinal Gymnastics Academy

Today was Alexis' gymnastics recital. I took a few pictures of her during the event.



































As you can tell, she is really good.

Flowers

I've been fighting a battle with a tulip lately, but I finally got a few of pictures of it. These are the first flower pictures of the year.














Hopefully this means tthat there will be a flood of flower picture opportunities coming my way.

A Couple Computer Mine Thoughts

I'm not the type of person that grouses about their job all that much. That is mostly because I enjoy my job and I have only a modicum of responsibility. Plus for the most part, very few people can screw me over in my job. So the co-workers that I find annoying I can still view at a comical level because they rarely actually interfere with my job. They just annoy me on occasion.
Yesterday was May Day. It is a holiday that I thought only school children were forced to celebrate because it came near the end of the school year and most teachers were ready for summer vacation and had given up on teaching the current lot of savages in their classrooms.

When I opened up Outlook when I got to work there were already two e-mails wishing me a Happy May Day and a third e-mail wishing me a Happy Beltane. I'm not a grouch. I don't get mad on certain holidays. Particularly when I get free food because of the holiday, but it did make me wonder why there was no love for International Worker's Day.

International Worker's Day is the holiday I celebrate on the First of May every year. I think next year I'm going to beat the other holidays to the punch. I'm going to show up with some communist themed food right at 7 am and have the first Happy International Worker's Day e-mail out by 7:02. It will be a victory for the worke's of the world.

I discussed this plan briefly with Lowell. By the time I got back to my desk there was a third Happy May Day e-mail waiting for me. It is this e-mail that actually kind of annoys me. Not because somebody had sent me a generic "Everyone" e-mail wishing me a Happy Holiday that I'm sure if I questioned the sender they couldn't tell me the first thing about the origins of that holiday.

It was the style of the e-mail. I really should have done a screen capture of this e-mail, but I'm sure that would have been a violation of some kind of proprietary information agreement I might have signed at the beginning of my employment at The Computer Mine.

The person that sent the e-mail is no Hemingway. They aren't even a Faulkner or a Kerouac. They aren't even a Dan Brown. When the President of the Mine sent out an e-mail requesting that people in the company make their e-mail signature more professional, she changed her signature so that her phone extension is not listed next to the company phone number, but by her e-mail address. Last time I checked, e-mails don't have extensions.

I know that she tries. The Computer Mine publishes a company newsletter that is just rife with the type of quality journalism that you would expect to see in such a publication. I have no doubt that some day this newsletter will bring home a Pulitzer. Last quarter there was an enlightening article revealing that this person had recently completed a class in Business Writing.

After reading just a handful of her e-mails on International Worker's Day, I now want to meet the teacher that taught her that it is completely ACCEPTABLE to substitute smilies for punctuation, because you know what? It isn't acceptable. Not even in non-professional e-mails. In fact, smilies are never acceptable in any situation or any circumstance.

On Another Note

I spotted Steve. However, I wasn't able to get a picture of him. Well, I got this really lousy picture of him that looks like the type of picture that people crack out when they are trying to prove the existence of some cryptozoological creature like Bigfoot or Nessie.



Steve the Groundhog


I'm sorry it is such a terrible picture, but it was I could do. Steve is quicker than he looks and he made a mad dash for his hole when he saw me standing outside. I hope to get a better picture of Steve sometime this year. It will be a personal mission.

Olivia's Stitching Time

I went to the church on Wednesday to take a group photo of the stitching group that Teresa started in Olivia's name. Here is the result.







This picture is going to go in the church bulletin, so in the end it will end up looking something like this:





I took a couple candid photos of the group.




















Then Becky grabbed the camera and took this picture.





Olivia's Stitching Time meets two more times before taking a hiatus for the Summer. It is a group for people to come and work on and share their sewing projects. It meets from 6:30 - 8:30 on Wednesday nights in the Parlor of the First United Methodist Church. All are welcome to come.

I also fired off a few other random pictures in the sanctuary.











I might be prejudiced, but I think that we have a beautiful sanctuary. I'd love to seriously photography it at some time in the future.