Cheese Subscription

Subscriptions

It has come to my attention that some people would like to get e-mail notifications when this blog has been updated. I thought a rudimentary lesson in RSS Feeds a few months back would have quieted the clamor for e-mail subscriptions. It has not, so I am now offering an e-mail subscription service to this blog.

If you would like an e-mail notification whenever I update this blog delivered to your e-mail box every time that I add new info to this blog, then all you have to do is drop me a line and I will add you to the list. I'm pretty sure all of you know my e-mail address or can find it on this website, so I'm not dropping a super convenient link below this paragraph.


Cheese

Many of you know that my favorite place that isn't in Boone County or affiliated with Iowa State University is Kalona. I like to make a visit to Kalona at least two times a year. As many of you know, I have not made it farther from my door than Des Moines this year. While that situation will be rectified with The Big Jesus Roadtrip next Friday and then the Cardiff Giant Roadtrip the following day, my mom did make the pilgrimage to Kalona with a couple sisters and her mom last Saturday.

I was unable to make the trip because I busy busting my back watching other people dump and rake sand on that day. However, my mom was good enough to bring me back the number one thing I covet from Kalona: cheese curds.



Cheese Curds Make Me Happy


I don't care what people say about Wisconsin. I don't care what people say about the Amana Colonies. For me, the best cheese curds in the world come from Kalona. There are many other great things about Kalona, but I covet the cheese curds.

Greetings from London

You will most likely appreciate this a little bit more if you actually know Nader, because this is Classic Nader.

I haven't traveled farther than Des Moines from my front door this entire year. Yes, I know that is exceedingly pathetic and that error will be corrected in roughly 9 days. I don't want to give too much away, but my plans involve a really big Jesus.

Fortunately for me I have friends and family that travel and I can live vicariously through them. When people I know go to interesting places and ask me what I want, I tell them postcards. Only, I don't want a pile of postcards when they get back. I want the postcards to be mailed to me.

Yesterday I went to the mailbox and found a postcard waiting for me that Nader had sent me from London.



Front



Back


It is worth noting that I didn't do any digital magic to the back of the postcard. That is how Nader sent it to me. No message, just a simple: "From: Nader". I'm telling you, it is Classic Nader.

Ames Jaycees Sandbox Fill

Saturday was the big annual Ames Jaycees Sandbox Fill. I'm going to try to combine a couple of different things together to describe the event and I'm not sure it is going to come together exactly right.

So like I was saying, Saturday was the big annual Ames Jaycees Sandbox Fill. We met up at the Salvation Army at about 8:30 in the morning. We were split up into two teams: Team 1 and Team 2. I was assigned to Team 2. I felt that our team name was not indicative of our dominance in the realm of sandbox filling and was an attempt by Team 1 to claim a superiority that they hadn't earned at the handles of a wheelbarrow. I suggested that we change our team name to Team Kicks Team 1's Ass. I'm not sure we ever really made a decision on our team name.

Regardless of the fact that out team name did not indicate such, we were filled with powerhouses:

• Shannon (Team Leader)
• Melissa
• Jamie
• Adam
• Jason
• Keith

We ended up dominating the morning and early afternoon by any meaningful criteria. We filled two more sandboxes than they did, including 1 that wasn't even on our list of assigned sandboxes and 1 that was on Team 1's list. We also finished up well before they did, despite a couple of hiccups that were not the fault of anybody on our team.

An a downer note, I was also told that I seemed like a Computer Guy. I don't think that I've ever been so insulted in many a year.

Monday morning came around and I started exchanging e-mails with my chums from The Principal Group. I let it slip out that I had stood around the Salvation Army parking lot for about 25 minutes on Saturday morning.

Russell jumped onto this little tidbit:

You appear to be loitering or are involved in some sort of drug trafficking scheme. Am I the only one who felt this needed explaining?

I wrote back:

It was actually public service. Saturday was the Jaycees Sandbox Fill. We met at the Salvation Army. Look below to see a not very good picture of me from Saturday.

The Me Not Looking So Good Picture


To which Russell replied:

You still appear to be committing some sort of criminal activity. The other person has a do rag, and when the do rag comes out, it’s never above board. How long have you worked for the mafia, Chris?

And Andree added:

I believe that Chris was indeed working. He's a photographer, thus knows when to stop working and how to pose when a photo-op arrives to make himself as photogenic as possible given the circumstances.

And Baier added:

Doesn't anyone else think that Chris looks added to this picture; to make it seem like he did a public service? Really; what kind of person who is actually working with a wheelbarrow smiles?

Then Russell added this:

Why the hell is she doing the digging and you’re holding a wheelbarrow? Be a man and get your hands dirty!

To which I was forced to respond:

I don’t know what is more manly, but moving a wheelbarrow full of sand is not work for the faint of heart. It is a manly and strenuous job. But if you must know, I did my fair share of raking. See picture below:

Look! My hands are dirty and now it is more difficult to eat donuts.


Now I'm going to step back from The Principal Group for a moment. There was one moment that kind of soured the day. There was a moment of prejudice and bigotry that made the day a little bit sad. The type of prejudice and bigotry that I thought that this great nation of ours had moved beyond, but I'm going to regale you with the tale because at least one member of Team Kicks Team 1's Ass found it to be a hoot.

A customer of ours saw Jamie pushing a wheelbarrow.



Jamie and her Wheelbarrow


The customer approached Shannon and asked her this bigoted question:

What do you call a woman doing a man's job?

I don't know.

Lazy.

Let us put that sad story of prejudice and move back to the e-mails of The Principal Group.

After I sent out the picture of my raking, I figured I would be inundated with apologies, but that didn't happen.

Russell responded thusly:

And in this picture you’re face is enshrouded in darkness. And how cruel is it to be burying merchandise and stolen goods underneath children’s playground equipment? Have you mafia types no shame?

I responded:

Perhaps you would like to sign on and help for next year? Stolen merchandise just won’t bury its self.

For the record, I now have a prejudice against sandboxes that are underneath play equipment, where the slide doesn’t move out of the way.

Russell's reply:

I will volunteer if there aren’t a lot of kids running around. The Big Hu-Hot has never been an patient man. And the Big Hu-Hot will also not work in inclement conditions, but is not opposed to some muscle work if it’s for a good cause or a percentage of any profits. My do rag is black, though, not lily white, so I’d be naturally worried that would cause a conflict.

So perhaps next year I might be able to get Russell out there to move some sand around.

I do have more pictures of the event. You can click on the picture below, or the link below the picture and it will take you to my Snapshots Gallery. After that all you have to do is click on the Ames Jaycees Album and get to perusing.





Photography 139 Snapshots Gallery


A few things for you to consider about the Snapshots Gallery. You can now register to use the Snapshots Gallery. The only thing that is required is a valid e-mail address.

In the upper right hand corner, there is a link that says "Register". Just click on that, agree to my terms and conditions and then fill out some information. An e-mail will arrive in your inbox that tells you how to complete the registration process. Here is a hint: It involves clicking on a link in the e-mail.

Once you have registered, you can Login. Here are the benefits of registering:

• Unlock Private Albums
• Edit Personal Profile Information
• Leave Comments on Pictures
• Rate Pictures
• Favorite Pictures
  

This Gallery is still under construction (meaning new pictures are added daily), but it is fully functioning.

If for some reason you don't get an e-mail to activate your account, then just e-mail me and I'll activate your account.

Also, if you have an account for the Artistic Photo Gallery, that doesn't mean you have an account for the Snapshots Gallery. The galleries are controlled by separate databases (in actuality separate tables) and therefore you need to create separate accounts for both. However, you can still use all the same information for both.

Any way, that is enough computer garbage. You'll figure it out, I'm starting to sound like a Computer Guy, but that is a bit of unpleasantness to discuss in the future.

Little White Lye Bonus

What you are about to experience is bits of a national advertising campaign that I would suggest that Little White Lye Soap launch immediately. However, I don't have much pull in that department. So we'll have to see what happens.

These pictures are of the actual models that I would use, but the background is not the background that I would use, for most of the models because I just took a picture of them the first time that I ran into them. Just imagine that the background is consistent with the quote underneath the characters.

"After a long day of kissing babies and pressing flesh, nothing cleans off the smell of constituent like Little White Lye Soap."

"Oh my! After a long evening at the theater with Tennessee Williams, nothing cleans off the powerful odor of mendacity like Little White Lye Soap."

"Nothing relaxes me and makes me ready for sleep after a long day's work than a hot shower with Little White Lye Soap."

"After a long morning of schooling chumps, nothing takes the rank of other people's failures and broken dreams off me like Little White Lye Soap."

"After a long night of grinding on the honeys in the clubs, nothing rids a dance machine of the stench of barfly like Little White Lye Soap."

"There is just no way around it, I'm a handsome man and Little White Lye keeps me handsome by making me clean, while being gentle on my sensitive skin."

"My woman likes my skin to be soft to the touch and Little White Lye Soap keeps my skin soft and that makes my woman happy."

"After a long night of rocking, Little White Lye Soap cleans off the reek of groupie and leaves me smelling fresh in the morning."

"After a long day at the office explaining to old people that their 401K dropping 25% in value in the last week is just a normal market fluctuation I feel morally dirty. Nothing restores me to moral equilibrium like a long bath with Little White Lye Soap."

I imagine these running in GQ. I'll have to wait and see what the boss says.

Little White Lye Product Endorsement Part 4

Little White Lye Soap


We have established the economic benefits of switching to Little White Lye Soap. We have established the universal appeal of Little White Lye Soap. We have shown the wide range of products available from Little White Lye Soap. We have displayed the practical uses of a soap that is so powerfully gentle. We have shown that Little White Lye Soap is the behemoth of the soap world, tipping the scales at nearly 6 ounces.

The only thing left to wonder about is what type of people are you getting into business with when you purchase your first bar of LWL.

In the briefest of terms, wonderful people.



Wonderful People


7. Little White Lye Soap provides tremendous customer service. For example, say that you are a shut-in, invalid or terminally lazy. You would like to switch to LWL, but you just can't make it to the nearest retail outlet. LWL will hand deliver the soap to your door. That is the type of customer service that you just don't see any longer. Little White Lye Soap isn't your ordinary company, they actually care about their customers and they show it with their superior products and superior customer service. The soap is Old School. So is the customer service.

8. Little White Lye Soap is an environmentally friendly company. Little White Lye believes in being stewards of our planet, but they do more than just believe, LWL leads by example.

• LWL has a virtually non-existent carbon footprint.
• All LWL products and containers are either recyclable or biodegradable.
• No electricity or fossil fuels are used in the creation of their products.
• All baskets or crocks that are used in the production of LWL Soap are reused. There is virtually zero waste.
• Animals are not used to test any LWL products. (Unless you count this guy.)
  
• The lard used in LWL comes from free range hogs.
• Everything from LWL comes from nature and can return to nature in a harmonious manner.

LWL Keeps the World Safe and Beautiful for this Guy


10. Little White Lye Soap is a brilliant name. It is a pun, but it isn't punny. It is classic merrymaking. Just having a bar of Little White Lye Soap is an instant conversation starter with even your most boring moribund acquaintances. It is both a great description of the product and at the same time a clever play on words. Would you rather lather up with a product that even has a brilliant name. If the name Dial is the best they could manage, how hard do you think they tried when designing the soap?

There you have it. 10 excellent reasons to stop buying soap from The Man and switch over to a superior product. A product that is greater in size. A product that is both powerful and gentle. A product that is good for your economy. A product that is good for your skin. A product that is good for the environment. A product that is just as good to your clothes as it is to your body. A product that is sold by wonderful people. A product that has a brilliant name.

If you need that website one last time, I will oblige you:


Little White Lye Soap


I expect that next time I see you that you will be cleaner and happier person.

Little White Lye Product Endorsement Part 3

Little White Lye Soap


We have established the economic benefits of using Little White Lye Soap. We have established that Little White Lye Soap is for men and women. We have established that Little White Lye Soap offers a wide ranging assortment of products and there are more to come. Did somebody say handmade brooms? I'll never tell.

You now know that this soap is a dream come true. It is a powerhouse and it is gentle. Perhaps you want some evidence of its power.

6. Little White Lye Soap salvages clothing. Not only does LWL get your body immaculately clean, but its powerful gentleness (or gentle powerfulness depending on which way you swing) can remove stains from clothing that you thought were destined to be thrown out, be turned into a dustcloth (ahem oil rag), or depending on how you feel about the poor a Salvation Donation. It only takes a small amount to remove even your toughest stain.

I can be a messy eater. For the most part I can keep most of what I put into my mouth in my mouth until it makes its long descent into my digestive system. What usually escapes can end up in the goatee, but sometimes some sauce or dressing will make the gravity induced fall onto a valued shirt and ruin it forever.

Just such a thing happened to my favorite Modern Day Hero shirt. I thought it was damaged for eternity and I would never be able to rock as hard again.

I'm not a quitter though. I tried numerous of The Man's name brand laundry detergents, but it was for not. My Modern Day Hero shirt seemed destined to be moved to the undershirt category, next to my Ames Jaycee shirt and my Dang! Root Beer Shirt.



The Cursed Stain


Then I remembered that just a a fingertips worth of LWL had saved my Rocky shirt from a similar fate a few months earlier. So I rubbed a little bit of LWL soap on the foul stain and put the shirt back in the laundry.

When I took the shirt out of the laundry the shirt was back to condition it was when it rolled off the Lone Wolf Gear assembly line.



A Fashion Resurrection



Ready to Rock, Once Again


I'm eternally grateful to LWL for saving this shirt because Modern Day Hero isn't even together any longer and I don't think I would ever be able to replace this one of an item shirt.

7. A bar of Little White Lye Soap is mammoth. I'm just a poor wordsmith with a limited vocabulary, so I'm not sure that mammoth does the size of a bar of Little White Lye Soap justice. I tried out a few other words in my brain: behemoth, colossal, elephantine, gargantuan, jumbo, massy, mastodonic, prodigious, titanic, and monstrous. I'm not sure if any of those words even encompass the sheer magnitude of this bar of soap. It is roughly 6 ounces!

You read that right, 6 ounces. I wish I had photographic evidence to show you the difference between a bar of LWL and a bar of Irish Spring. I don't though because The Man's soap never makes it into my bathroom.

What I can offer is a chart that illustrates the difference between a bar of LWL and The Man's line of soaps.

Unilever Soaps

• Lever 2000 - 4.5 oz
• Caress - 4.25 oz
• Dove - 4.25 oz

Proctor & Gamble

• Ivory - 4.5 oz
• Zest - 4.0 oz
• Olay - 4.25 oz

Dial

• Dial - 4.0 oz
• Tone - 4.25 oz
• Coast - 4.5 oz

Colgate-Palmolive

• Irish Spring - 4.5 oz

The best that The Man can manage is 4.5 oz? If I didn't know any better, I'd think that The Man wasn't even trying. The truth is that The Man just doesn't have any respect for you. He thinks 4.5 ounces of his sub par soap is all that you proletariat swine can handle or deserve.

Don't get mad at me, I'm just telling you the message that The Man is sending with his 4.5 ounce bar of soap.

Just think of the benefits of getting that much soap in one bar. Say you have a neighbor that falls for The Man's lies. While you are still on your second bar of LWL soap, they will already be starting their 4th bar of Dial. Is there any competition or is is this complete and utter soap domination? If you are thinking about it, that was a rhetorical question used to illustrate the gap between a phenomenal product and what you have been taught to consider acceptable.

I'm just going to throw this out there, but despite the obvious economic advantages to switching to LWL soap for its girth, there is another practical advantage to switching to a soap with a larger footprint.

Are you familiar with the form of discipline known as soap whipping?

It was all the rage in the military back in the day. A guy in your platoon can't keep up on marches, can't finish the obstacle course, steals donuts from the mess hall and has varying other major malfunctions. A good way to get him to walk the straight and narrow is to hold him down with a blanket while everybody in the platoon soap whips him. You put a bar of soap in a towel or your sock and then use it to give out some of the old negative reinforcement.

Now most of us aren't in the military and science tells us that negative reinforcement doesn't work all that well compared to positive reinforcement, but there are times when you need to regulate on one of your chums. Perhaps they think it is an acceptable form of entertainment to sit at Old Country Buffet making fun of the fat people going up for their 4th or 5th trip. Perhaps they think it is okay to cancel on Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 37 minutes before the curtain rises. I mean there is always a good reason to soap whip one of your closest buddies.

Imagine what would happen if you struck somebody with a bar of Zest. If you were to do such a foolish thing to even your little sister she would mock you by saying something like this:

"If I wanted a kiss I would have called your mother."

Sure that would be a little bit strange because she is your sister, but imagine the same situation with 6 oz of fury inflicting the damage. Now that is the type of negative reinforcement you can take to the bank and nobody will be cracking wise about your mama.

Now you should be sold on the economic advantages of LWL, the fact that this soap is for everybody, its gentle powerfulness even keeps your wardrobe looking good and the fact that the soap is Bunyanesque.

Now you are ready to get more information. Just click the link below and visit the website:


Little White Lye Soap


Or perhaps you are ready to get your first batch ordered right now, then I have a second link for you:

Little White Lye Soap

There is a chance that you still aren't sold. That is okay. I still have 3 excellent reasons why you should rely on Little White Lye for all of your soap needs.

To Be Continued...

Little White Lye Product Endorsement Part 2

Little White Lye Soap


Now that you have a solid understanding of the economic benefits of making your soap of choice Little White Lye Soap, you might be wondering: "Who is soap for?"

3. This is a man's soap.

Finally, there is a soap for men. For years and years and years men have been forced to wander the soap aisle of their store of choice looking for a soap that made them clean but didn't leave them smelling like their Aunt Florence. Quite frankly there aren't many options. The smell of lilacs and lavender shouldn't come from a man's shower. When a man is done showering, he should smell like a man. A clean man, but a man nonetheless. He shouldn't smell like a rose. He shouldn't smell like a strawberry. He's a man and he should smell like a man. A clean man.

Let's face it. The only soap on the market today that is safe for a man to use is Lava. There is no denying it. Lava is a manly soap. However, Lava is to be used when a man is done changing the oil in his car. You can't take Lava into the shower with you. Lava has pumice in it. That is great for getting transmission fluid off your hands, but you can't use pumice on your twig and berries. Not if you want to keep them fully functional and your vocal range within its proper manly octave.

Little White Lye Soap steps into this vacuum that has been created by The Man's estrogen drenched soap monopoly.

Why is LWL a Man's soap?

It is strong. It is powerful. You can work on your rig all day and LWL has the prowess to get your hands clean, but it is versatile and gentle enough that you can take it into the shower with you and use it on all of your most delicate, but manly parts.

The kicker is that LWL doesn't contain any perfumes or oils. A man can take a shower and clean himself from head to toe and when he comes out of the shower he can smell good, but not fruity. He can leave the fruity smells to his female friends. It smells good on them.


4. Little White Lye is a woman's soap. Now I don't want to come off like I'm an expert on the female body. But I believe I have studied the female form as much as any other layman and there are parts that I have committed to memory. What I can tell you from those studies is that LWL is great for a woman's sensitive skin.

You see it goes back to the old no perfumes or oils. Those things are bad for your skin. LWL is good for your skin because it doesn't dry it out.

Are you using enough lotion to soften the skin of the entire population of a small Pacific Island? Then it is time to change your soap to LWL. A soap that doesn't dry out your skin and leave you dependent on lotion.


5. Little White Lye has a wide variety of products. Although this is a soap based company, LWL offers a variety of complimentary products. They include the following:



Bars of Soap



Mini Loofah



Full Loofah



Laundry Soap



12 Loads of Laundry



30 Loads of Laundry



50 Loads of Laundry



Handcrafted Washcloth


That is a pretty impressive array of products and the list is growing. I'm not sure I should be telling you this, but a few weeks back I was hanging around the R&D staff and she let me in on this juicy little tidbit. There is a foaming soap on the horizon as well.

Not that LWL needs to add to its veritable arsenal of cleaning products. I can tell you from experience that the loofah is a cleaning powerhouse. If you pick up that little number, you will come out of your shower fresh as a daisy.



Could be You!


Plus if you have ever compared a nice handmade washcloth to the washcloths turned out by political prisoners in China, (the type they sell in most stores) you know that there is no comparing the quality or the life expectancy. Handmade washcloths are as good as it gets.

Perhaps now you are convinced. Now you know that buying Little White Lye Soap helps your local economy, it is a man's soap, it is a woman's soap and you know that you have a wide selection of choices. If this describes you, then you should visit the link below to learn more about this wonderful company:


Little White Lye Soap


There is a chance that you haven't been convinced yet. That is okay. I still have 5 more excellent reasons you should pick a dozen or so bars of soap from the nearest Little White Lye retail outlet.

To Be Continued...

Little White Lye Product Endorsement Part 1

Little White Lye Soap


I am writing here today to endorse the product Little White Lye Soap. It is a great product and I think you should run out and try a bar or two or three.

Perhaps you want a little bit more information. Then you should visit their new website and poke around there. Just follow the link below:


Little White Lye Soap


Perhaps you don't even need any more information. Perhaps you just want to be put into contact with somebody that can get you some soap. If you are in that category, just click on the link below and e-mail them directly:


Little White Lye Soap


Perhaps you aren't the type of person that just jumps when I tell you to jump. You are a cynic. You need to be more than told. You need to be sold. You are in luck. I'm going to give you 10 excellent reasons to run out to the nearest local seller and pick up a bushel full of Little White Lye Soap.


Ten Excellent Reasons to Buy Little White Lye Soap

1. Little White Lye Soap is a local business. The CEO, CFO, CIO, President and Head Saponologist is Shannon Bardole, a native of Ogden and current resident of Ames. I know that there are people that don't get the "shop local" mentality. They don't understand the importance of shopping locally. I think that Malcolm X spoke most eloquently about keeping the businesses in your community controlled by members of your community in his famous 1964 speech The Ballet or the Bullet. Allow me to paraphrase Malcolm X:

[A smart economic philosophy] only means that we have to become involved in a program of reeducation to educate our people into the importance of knowing that when you spend your dollar out of the community in which you live, the community in which you spend your money becomes richer and richer; the community out of which you take your money becomes poorer and poorer. And because these [people], who have been mislead, misguided, are breaking their necks to take their money and spend it with The Man, The Man is becoming richer and richer, and you’re becoming poorer and poorer. And then what happens? The community in which you live becomes a slum. It becomes a ghetto. The conditions become run down. And then you have the audacity to -- to complain about poor housing in a run-down community. Why you run it down yourself when you take your dollar out.

And you and I are in a double-track, because not only do we lose by taking our money someplace else and spending it, when we try and spend it in our own community we’re trapped because we haven’t had sense enough to set up stores and control the businesses of our community. The man who’s controlling the stores in our community is a man who doesn’t look like we do. He’s a man who doesn’t even live in the community. So you and I, even when we try and spend our money in the block where we live or the area where we live, we’re spending it with a man who, when the sun goes down, takes that basket full of money in another part of the town.

So where is that money going? Who is The Man? The Man is the three major soap companies: Unilever, Proctor & Gamble and Dial. Unilever is based out of Trumbull, Connecticut. When you are buying Lever 2000, Dove or Caress The Man is taking your money back to Connecticut. Proctor & Gamble is based out of Cincinnati, Ohio. When you are spending your hard earned money on Ivory, Zest or Olay The Man is taking that basket of money back to Ohio. Dial is based out of Scottsdale, Arizona. When you are lathering up with Coast, Tone or Dial The Man is taking your money out of your community and taking it back to Arizona. Irish Spring? Are you kidding me? Buying Irish Spring sends your money to New York to the Mega Corporation Colgate-Palmolive and The Man is laughing all the way to the bank.

When you clean yourself up with a bar of Little White Lye Soap the money you spent to buy that clean is staying in Central Iowa where it helps your economy and creates jobs in your community. Now The Man has many tricks and lies. You got to watch The Man. The Man will tell you that buying soap from the Three Headed Soap Monopoly at your local Wal-Mart is creating jobs in your community. It is a lie.

We all know how Wal-Mart employees are poorly compensated and treated. Did you know that just by having a Wal-Mart in your county adversely effects the wages of the other people in the community? Set aside the fact that Wal-Mart has created poor jobs and stymied the creation of good jobs and just think about the fact that having a Wal-Mart in your county lowers the wages of the other people in the county. Wages in the general merchandise sector decline a full percent. Wages for grocery store employees decline 1.5 percent. If your state has 50 Wal-Marts the average wage of retail workers declines 10%.

This begs the question: What is the average wage of an employee at Little White Lye Soap? Depends on how much soap you buy. Know this one thing for sure, the money you spend will be put right back into Central Iowa. Helping our economy. Creating jobs in our area. You can't say that when you are buying soap from The Man.


2. Little White Lye Soap is a local business that supports local businesses. When Little White Lye Soap looks for other businesses to engage in commerce, they look for other local businesses.

• The lard in the soap comes from local open range hogs.
  
• The photography for the website was done by two local photographers
• http://www.photography139.com
• http://www.toddhugenphotograpy.com
• The website is designed by a local company
• http://www.saltechsystems.com
• Little White Lye Soap is sold at local stores (to name a few):
• Wheatsfield; 413 Douglas Ave; Ames, IA
• RVP 1875; 526 Broad St; Story City, IA
• Heart of Iowa Marketplace; 221 Fifth St; West Des Moines, IA

Supporting Little White Lye Soap also supports all of those local businesses.

Some of you still might not be convinced. That is okay. I still have 8 solid more reason why you should go to your bathroom and pick up all of the Man's soap and throw it in the trash and then rush out and buy some Little White Lye Soap.

To be continued...

Johnny Joiner

In the last few months I have really considered joining more groups and organizations in an attempt to be the slightest bit more active in my communities. Strangely enough I consider myself to be a member of the communities of Boone, Ames, Iowa State and FUMC.

Today I sent in checks to join two groups from two of those communities.



File Photo


Next time you clasp eyes on me (unless you see me tonight, tomorrow or the following day depending on the speed of the USPS) I will be a Methodist Man and a member of the Iowa State Alumni Association.

While I was tooling around the Iowa State Alumni Association website I found a new must have item for this fall's tailgating season. Check out this sweet baby:





According to the online store:

A portable cast iron rack that rests on your barbeque grill and sears Iowa State logos onto grilled meats. This season’s hottest tailgating item! 11x13” with handles.

I would point out that with my Alumni Association discount, they are practically giving this baby away at 38 bucks.

I've already had to discussion with a fellow Cyclone grad about doing a couple test runs with this sweetness on the Computer Mine grill this summer.

As far as joining groups and organizations go, I'm still giving some consideration to joining the Boone County Historical Society. I'll have to give that matter some more thought.

SCSI 29160

There are a metric ton of people out there that think that I have an easy job. They believe this because I have told them that I have an easy job and it is a well documented fact that I don't lie. However, yesterday I was unpacking a SCSI 29160 to test and ship out when I found this slip of paper sitting on top of the card.





Now those people that complain about my job can know to a high degree of certainty that I am out there on the front lines risking it all for my paycheck. I think I might start putting in for hazard pay.

Mendacious

Over the last few days I have intermittently worked on some photos for a big product endorsement I'm going to be doing in the very near future. I asked a few friends to pose for the picture, without giving them any information. I would have thought that our friendship would have been enough for them to just sign on to be willing participants for my photo experiments. I learned that some of my friends just don't trust me that much. Here is a break down of friends that trust me and friends that need to ask questions constantly:


Friends that Trust

Baier
Jesse
Nader
Russell
Faust
Derrick

Friends that Don't Trust

Jay
Willy
Andree


I don't know if these guys are just the untrusting sort or if I have wronged them at some point in our past.

Spring Game

I started my Saturday by stepping on the basketball court at Beyer Hall for the first time in over a year. To be more direct, it was the first time I have stepped on any basketball court in over a year.

On the court with me was Andree, Russell and Baier. We had been planning this game for over a month. Through a series of e-mails I might have built my basketball skills up to them based on the baller that I was in my youth. I was not the only one though. Russell gave himself the nickname The Open Flame. I believe he also gave himself the nickname the Big HuHot. He also gave himself the nickname The Big Nome de Plume. However, he decided to rely mostly on the nickname The Open Flame. I tried to get him to wear a head band with flame design, but he only indicated that he would "work on it".

I did not want to be outnicknamed, so in the tradition of some of my friends, I chose to give myself the nickname The Almighty. This was mostly based on the fact that Andree claims that the only thing that could make him cower is being in the presence of The Almighty.

There was doubt that I would be able to live up to the nickname, but through our first three contests I lived up to the nickname and more. I opened up the outside game early, then I showed off my post up moves. Then I cracked out the dribble penetration. Finally I showed off the passing game.

After three games, I was The Almighty. I was undefeated and everybody else had felt the bitter taste of defeat. Then my years of eating bad food and not exercising caught up to me. I ran out of steam. I didn't fare so well in the last couple of games, but no need to dwell on that.

After the basketball game, Baier and I met up with Willy, Faust and Bret in lot B6 for a little tailgating. I had brought my grill over, but I was a bit concerned that it would not fire up. That fear was not necessary. The grill fired up and we knocked down a wide assortment of meats and a pasta salad that Baier had made. A couple other gents joined us and we made our way to the spring game. I posted some pictures from the Spring Game in the Snapshots Gallery. You can get there via the picture of the link below:



Iowa State Cyclone Spring Game

I have some observations from the Spring Game, but I don't really put any stock in the Spring Game, so I won't bore you with any of that information.

Smell the Mendacity

I said that I would not post a full image of Jay until he returned to Friday Night Supper Club. Tonight he made his return. To celebrate I post this old timey picture of a much younger and carefree Jay.





Jay, Jesse and I had made plans to attend Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at Stephens Auditorium. Jay actually shed his sellout label and told the man that he was taking a Friday night off. He joined Willy and I for FNSC at Okoboji Grill.

Jesse sent me a text message 37 minutes before the curtain rose stating that he would not be joining us. We could not get Willy to join us because he is not very secure in his sexuality. That is a shame because although I've been known to work miracles now and again, the window was just too small and Jesse's ticket went unused.

I have not read the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I had seen the movie starring the great Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor. I knew that the movie had to change the subtext of the main character's homosexuality to his refusal to grow up. However, I felt in this production of the play the question of his homosexuality was still unresolved.

I'm now curious to know how this issue is dealt with in the play. In the movie I believe that they used the actual phrase "cat on a hot tin roof" once in the movie. In this production they used the phrase at least 4 or 5 times. It felt really awkward and would like to know what was in the original play.

Overall, the play was good but not great. It was the third show I've seen at Stephens this season. Hairspray would still be the highlight of the season for me, but I'm still going to see Chicago in the next couple of weeks.

Teresa and I are also going to some kind of party in a couple of weeks where they announce next season's slate of shows. That is pretty sweet.

Looking for a Scab

The Baiers and I took Nader out for supper tonight. He leaves for London to be reunited with his family on Saturday. He will be there for six weeks.

That is excellent news for him, but that leaves me without a movie buddy. So I might put out a Help Wanted Ad for a Temp.

Help Wanted

Scab Nader - Temporary position that could last up to six weeks. Job responsibilities involve going to movies with me. Must love art house movies, independent films, foreign films and documentaries. It would be considered a bonus if any applicant can change the name of movies they don't like with the use of mild profanity. Example: Lord of the Crap. Applicants should forward their resume and list of favorite movies to bennett@photography139.com. Applicants that include Sin City or Transformers will have their resumes shredded and then burned. I don't care what the Equal Opportunity Laws say.

I wonder if I will get any applicants.

New Life

Scottie D. and his wife Melissa had their first child today.

The child was a masculine child and they have named him Austin.

I don't have any pictures of the child to post at this time, but perhaps I will some time in the future.

Taiwan Times - March 2008

My friend Mark's March Newsletter.

Easter Activities

Greetings everybody. I know this is a little late, but March was an important month, so I do want to write a little bit about some things that happened. Of course, March brought Easter, the most important day for us! The day God proved His victory over sin, death, and the devil. The day Christ came alive again, giving us peace, hope, and new life.

At Salvation Lutheran Church Easter also brought 2 baptisms. A college aged girl, Jacquelyn was brought into God’s family through water and word. Also, little baby Olivia Wasmund (the new adopted daughter of Matt and Dee Dee Wasmund) was baptized. Easter is always a time to rejoice, but how much more when baptism are also part of the day.

The second major event happened in the afternoon on Easter. A group of teachers and college students went down to Tainan to help celebrate Easter with other churches in southern Taiwan. 3 other Lutheran Churches also participated and we got together for an afternoon of songs, games, and creating short Easter dramas.

The group from Salvation Lutheran was specifically in charge of leading a group game and a couple of songs. We lead the group of about 80 people in an acting game called the animal game. Our songs we sang include Jesus You Are My Best Friend, and My Redeemer Lives. All in all it was a great day to celebrate Easter with fellow brothers and sisters in Taiwan.


Extending for Another Year

This is the time of year in which decisions have been made or need to be made about the coming year in Taiwan. I would like to place a couple of requests on you.

First, I have decided to extend and stay for a fourth year in Taiwan. God has greatly blessed my ministry here, and do feel called to serve here for another year. LCMS World Mission has informed me that I need to raise $2910 to support my mission for the next year. God has blessed me beyond my imagination with financial and prayer support, and I have full trust that He will continue to provide what is needed.

I would like to ask you all to prayerfully consider support of the mission work being done here in Taiwan. If you would like to support me, you can send a check to the following address:

Missionary Support
LCMS World Mission
1333 S. Kirkwood Rd.
St. Louis, MO 63122

On the memo line for the check please write “Mark Wolfram account #50152”.

Thank you all for your prayerful consideration.

Second, because this is the time when people are making decisions, LCMS is looking at filling positions here in Taiwan. We are currently short 2 people to teach at the High School next school year. These positions would be for English and Bible teachers here at CMS, teaching grades 7-10. If you know of anyone who would be interested in serving as an overseas missionary/teacher here in Taiwan, please pass on the word. Also, feel free to email me if you or the person has any questions. You can also contact LCMS World Mission for more information.

It’s Prayer Time!
Here are the prayer requests for this month. As always we lift these up according to the will of God, praying for Him to be glorified through everything.

1. Pray that God would continue to increase my trust in Him, in all things related to teaching, life, and ministry. Pray also that I would be able to continue to find time for personal devotion and study of God’s word.
2. Pray for Salvation Lutheran Church, as we still do not have a pastor. Pray that God would prepare the people and future pastor for work together.
3. Pray for my financial support here in Taiwan.
4. Pray for God to raise up people to come and serve here in Taiwan.

May God’s peace,

Mark

LWL Photo Shoot

I've been working on some commercial photography for Shannon's company Little White Lye Soap. This Sunday was the most recent photo shoot. I can't reveal any of those images yet, but I can show a couple pictures of Shannon taking pictures of her soap.








Some soap pictures should be posted in the near future.

VEISHEA

VEISHEA was cold. A little bit miserable. However, there were some highlights. It took me awhile to see them because I was pretty upset that the good fried cheese curd stand was not there, but I eventually got over it. Who am I kidding? I'm still fuming about it.

I did take some pictures after I ran into Jeff and Yin.



Smokey, Jeff, and Yin



Me, Jeff, Smokey and Woodsie



Jeff



My friend Willy would call these people nerds, but he is a nerd. Who is he to judge?



Jeff took this picture of me.



Jeff and the Astronaut



Crane



Crane



Crane


The highlight of VEISHEA for me was seeing the crane in Lake Laverne. I've been told that it is a little bit weird that the crane was a highlight for me.

Shave and a Haircut

I went in to see Monica to get my quarterly shearing. Do you see a difference?





I feel much better now.

Habitat for Humanity Fundraiser

I went to a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity at the Community Building with Teresa and Logan. It was a soup supper. The soup was served in a bowl made by a Boone County potter. You got to pick out your own bowl and you got to keep it.





I think I chose wisely.

T Night

I went over to Suzie and Eric's for T Night. I was pretty sure that the night would conclude with Suzie conceding that she was too far behind in the race for Monica's Friend of the Year 2008 that she should just do the gracious thing and bow out of the race.

Instead the night concluded with a rousing round of video games. I have not played a video game in multiple years, but if you look at the pictures below, you might find some photographic evidence of an event that might not repeat its self for several years. I believe the game in which we were engaged is called Rock Band.



Monica



The Band



Rock Band Cat



The Band



Jeff


We ripped up some Nirvana, Oasis and Radiohead.

CASA Fundraiser

My good friends the Baiers are active with a group known as CASA. They are having a fundraiser this week. Take a look at their poster.





What is CASA?

The shorthand version is that they help children with crappy parents.

The long version goes something like this:

In 1977, a Seattle judge conceived the idea of using trained community volunteers to speak for the best interests of abused and neglected children in court. So successful was this program that soon judges across the country began utilizing citizen advocates. In 1990, the US Congress encouraged the expansion of CASA programs with passage of the Victims of Child Abuse Act.

Today, we have grown to a network of more than 50,000 volunteers that serve 225,000 abused and neglected children through 900+ local program offices nationwide. Our advocates, also known as volunteer guardians ad litem in some jurisdictions, are appointed members of the court. Judges rely on the information these trusted advocates present.

They rely on the CASA's to do home visits with families and then report to the judge, and decisions are usually made whether or not the parent can keep guardianship. Most mother's do want to keep their kids, so they will try harder; but every year they do take the kids from the parent.

http://www.nationalcasa.org/


It sounds like a pretty good group to me. Looks like a pretty sweet playhouse as well. So if you have a daughter or even a son that is a little fruity, seems like you could do worse with 5 or 10 bucks.

Son of Rambow

This is the new must see movie of the year for me. It appeals to everything I love about movies.





I might try to re-assemble the old Rambo platoon for a viewing. I might need Baier to guilt trip Russell to get him there though.

The Roundball Oracles: Year 3

2005-William McAlpine

2007-Tim Peterson

Now the name Mark Wolfram will sit proudly next to theirs. The miracle comeback of Kansas made them champions. It also made Mark the third champion of The Roundball Oracles (An NCAA tournament pool).

The Final Standings:

1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) 136 points
2. Lowell Davis (Davis) 114 points
3. Jesse Howard (Goldie's Bracket Brilliance) 108 points
4. Dan Dill (dandydan) 92 points
5. Corey Faust (UCLA Love) 90 points
6. Jason Baier (Baier's Winning Bracket) 90 points
7. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) 87 points
8. Toby Sebring (esgefhg) 85 points
9. Me (The Zechariah of the Hardwood) 85 points
10. Willy McAlpine (william) 84 points
11. Bill Wentworth (Bill's) 84 points
12. Frank Meiners (FHM) 75 points
13. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill allstars) 73 points
14. Robert Henning (Drake Bandwagon) 64 points
15. Russell Kennerly (Fighting Grossmans) 61 points

A trophy has been ordered and will be given to Mark when he returns from Taiwan. I miss college basketball already.

Class of 1993

I've had some strange encounters with members of the Class of 1993.

My home loan officer is from that legendary class.

I ran into a member from the class at a nursing home.

Then I met a member of the class during Fellowship at church.

Interesting.

New Toy

I got a new toy for the camera in the mail yesterday. I did some experimenting with it.




















I know some cynics out there are thinking: "Wow you bought a toy that takes blurry pictures, congratulations."

I would only respond with a smile and say, "Yes I did!"

Foggy

It was a bit foggy on the way to work. Here are some pictures from my commute.



Looking down South Benton



The alley across the street



Leaving town on Mamie



This semi was so slow



Dickcissel Park



Road next to Dickcissel Park



Entrance ramp



US 30


It is probably rather evident that I was driving while taking some of these pictures. Some people might think that is rather dangerous and a stupid thing to do. I would agree that it would be dangerous and stupid if you were doing it, but if I'm doing it, then it must not be stupid. I'll concede your point on dangerous.

Acceptance

I got home from a Jaycees meeting tonight. We were able to hammer out the details of the band contract. This was actually way more difficult than I figured it would be. It included some quite lively debate about whether or not we should follow the law or not.

I got home and saw an envelope from my bank (Bank of the Bear). I was expecting this letter but was not expecting what was inside. Apparently my bank, that hasn't been all that good to me in the past, is actually willing to throw me a ton of cash to buy a house.

This was pleasant, but now I have to start actually doing some research and start saving up some funds for the expenses. At least I have the money and I know who my realtor is going to be. That much of the process is done.

Chicago 10

Last night I went to the Varsity with Nader to see Chicago 10. This is a fascinating documentary about the trial of the Chicago 7, 8 or 10 depending on what name you want to use. The film mixes animation with archival footage. I'm not fan of hippies, yippies, Democrats, police, Chicago, numbers, or 1968, but this film is fascinating.





If you are wondering why there the movie is called Chicago 10 when the group was originally known as the Chicago 8 and then the Chicago 7, well there is an interesting story.

When the trial began there were 8 defendants. Bobby Seale (the leader of the Black Panthers that was only in Chicago for a couple hours during the Democratic National Convention) was denied his right of defending himself. Actually he was originally denied his right of having his own attorney. He wanted his trial delayed while his attorney recovered from surgery. When this was denied he requested to defend himself and that request was denied.

In the end, Bobby Seale was severed from the trial and sentenced to 4 years in jail for Contempt. Thus the Chicago 8 became the Chicago 7. However, Jerry Rubin insists that they should be referred to as the Chicago 10 because the two lawyers that defended them also spent time in prison as a result of the trial.

That is the hardest part to soak in for me. How often do lawyers end up in jail because of the people that they are defending? Or because of how crooked the judicial system was at that time?

Jerry Rubin is quoted as saying:

"Anyone who calls us the Chicago Seven is a racist. Because you're discrediting Bobby Seale. You can call us the Chicago Eight, but really we're the Chicago Ten, because our two lawyers went down with us."

The film is definitely heavily slanted towards the side of the protesters, but I don't really know how it couldn't be.

Coppermine

I've started the process of creating new photo galleries. I've decided to finally update my photo galleries and have stumbled across a new way of doing the galleries. I just need to get Frank to install MySQL and PHP on his server. He doesn't like installing new things, so between that and tinkering and get it working, it might be a few weeks.

When it gets installed and is rolling, it will be a million times easier to update my galleries, plus people will be able to leave comments. So keep tuned for developments and perhaps an invitation in your inbox to be a beta tester for the new galleries.