“This is the end,

Beautiful friend,

This is the end,

Of our elaborate plans, the end,

Of everything that stands, the end,

No safety or surprise, the end.”

- The Doors (The End)

Another college basketball season has come to an end. It is a sad, sad day. At least it is only 11 days to Iowa State’s Spring Football Game. 11 long days!

The end of another college basketball season means it is time to crown the champion of year 6 of the Roundball Oracles tournament pool.

This is beginning to sound like a broken record, but a few years back Pat Riley was man enough to patent the word 3peat.  What he wasn’t man enough to do is actually 3peat. He came up woefully short in his attempt to win a 3rd straight championship.

Mark Wolfram is not Pat Riley. Mark Wolfram was man enough to be crowned the Roundball Oracles Champion for the 3rd straight year.  It was a little embarrassing when a guy living in Taiwan won the first time.  Even more embarrassing when he repeated last year. I’m not sure if there are words to express how embarrassing it is that he won for a third straight year.

Hopefully next year somebody will step up and snatch that crown off of his head.  Could be you! Could be me! Although I’ll have to rebound from an extremely pathetic performance this year. At least I finished third and won ten bucks in the pool at work.

The Final Standings

1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) - 81 points

2. Nader Parsaei (Charlie Chaplin) – 79 points

3. Dawn Krause (Dawn’s Dunkin’ Dribblers) – 75 points

4. Frank Meiners (Frank’s Picks) – 73 points

4. Corey Faust (Always Go Top Shelf) – 73 points

6. Dan Dill (dan) – 71 points

7. Jason Baier (JLB) – 70 points

8. Robert Henning (Shot In The Dark) – 67 points

9. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill Allstars) – 65 points

9. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) – 65 points

9. Linda Toot (JWB) – 65 points

12 – Derrick Gorshe (Derrick) – 63 points

13 – Jesse Howard (ISU Yes McDermott No) – 62 points

14 – Becky Perkovich (A169032477) – 61 points

15 – Corey Schmidt (TakeIt2ThaHole) – 58 points

15. Toby Sebring (Lickliter Is Out!) – 58 points

17. Russell Kennerly (i’m also transferring greg) 57 points

18. Christopher D. Bennett (I See Things) – 56 points

19. Jon DeWaard (Lono’s bracket) – 54 points

20. Bill Wentworth (Bill’s Bracket) – 53 points

21. Carrie Baier (Couragers) – 52 points

21 competitors was a new Roundball Oracles record for participants.  4 female competitors was a record for female competitors!

I am hopeful that next year, both of those records will be broken.

In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.

Have a look:

Living Room Changes

As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.

The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though.  Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.

Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!

If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”

If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”

I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”

Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.

After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.

Final NCAA Bracket Chance

Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: bennett@photography139.com and I will see that you get all the necessary information.

Many of you know Nader’s story. It is an amazing story, but the thing I always have the hardest problem believing is that while he was being held as a political prisoner in an Iranian prison he could be happy that Henry Fonda won an Oscar.

I’m pretty sure that if I was held in prison for 6.5 years without the benefit of a trial and constantly under the threat of execution I could care less who won an Oscar.

Nader recently made a trip out to L.A. while the Oscars were going down. Here are a few of his pictures from the trip.

Hollywood

Kodak Theater

Nader with Leonard Maltin

Nader and some guy from Entertainment Tonight

Mary Hart

Nader and Mary Hart

Nader and his favorite – Charlie Chaplin

Inside the Kodak Theater

Nader with the Oscar Statues from the ceremony. The day after the Oscars.

Star of Funny Face

Star of West Side Story

The room where the first Academy Awards was held.

The hotel where the first Academy Awards was held.

Nader did not get to see the Oscars up close and personal. He visited the Kodak Theater a couple of days before the Oscars and tried to talk to a guy that Jesse knows, but that only resulted in a long conversation (interrogation) with a member of the security team.

NCAA Tournament Reminder

If you want to enter the Roundball Oracles NCAA basketball pool email me at bennett@photography139.com and I will send you the requisite information. No money is required to enter and basketball knowledge is hardly necessary either. This has been proven by many people over the years.

Biography Challenge

I’m doing a small amount of pro bono photo work for a local community theather group. Apparently I have to write a small bio for the program. This is what I’ve come up with so far:

Christopher D. Bennett is making his debut to the world. Before this moment he has lived in a cave outside of Boone, Iowa and subsisted on his foraging skills. He has most recently been involved in theater by sitting in one and watching movies, but being sure to sound pretentious enough by constantly referring to it as “the cinema”. As if referring to himself as Christopher D. Bennett didn’t make him pretentious sounding enough. It is also his great fear that being involved in this production will undermine his authority to make fun of people involved in Community Theater. Christopher does not enjoy being a Jaycee, but thankfully that dreaded curse has almost come to an end. He is the Vice-President of the Boone United Methodist Men, a job that comes with zero responsibility. That is considered a perk as Christopher comes from a generation that is fearful of responsibility and garlic. Christopher works at a computer mine in southeast Ames where his greatest fear is contracting the dreaded silicon lung. Christopher enjoys spending time with Shannon Bardole’s cat Franklin, but not necessarily Shannon Bardole. She gets crabby when she is tired or hungry. Christopher is also feared on playgrounds and gymnasiums around this nation for his unstoppable crossover dribble, unlimited shooting range, tenacious rebounding and lock down defense. There is no truth to any rumors that he starred in a series of “After Dark” films under the name “Hammer”. However, there is much veracity in the oft told legends of his numerous facial hair experiments.

If you can come up with something better or think that I need to modify or add something, place your suggestions in the comments section of this journal entry.

Thanks!

Also, if you could tell me what my favorite game show is, that would be great as well.

Those with good memories will remember a few months back when I wrote a series of blogs about groups that I am in that have matching shirts. The keenly observant will recall that I said there were 5 such groups, but I only posted blogs about 4 such groups.

I was waiting until the final group had earned our way into being “blog-worthy”. That group made that leap from anonymity to greatness on Sunday night. That was just the conclusion of what was a phenomenal week.

The week started out to be not particularly great. On Monday morning I was nursing a nagging foot injury in my right heel from Sunday night’s brutal basketball doubleheader.

Then several great things happened. In no particular order (chronologically or in magnitude of greatness):

• Bowling was cancelled so I got to nurse my foot injury, watch Hoarders and start on my basement sorting project.

• Visit the Baiers and Andree.

• Have lunch with Shannon at Dublin Bay.

• Talk to Jill on the phone, twice.

• Have three nights to work on my basement sorting project that allowed me to make major head way. Including creating lots of garbage, finding many an old artifact worth treasuring and creating a burn pile.

• Have supper with Nader and seeing Extraordinary Measures. An extraordinarily average movie.

• Made it to the gym twice, both times with the new fitness king Jesse Howard.

• Ate my favorite meal in the world, sauerkraut casserole.

• Visited Derrick and Dennis at work, where I got to listen to Derrick talk about guitars (one of my favorite things in the world to do) and where Dennis gave me a great description of what happened in the Personal Photo Project of the Week that I will publish on Friday.
• Ushered at church. This was a bonus because I love the extra legroom I get when I usher, plus I spent time before church discussing my backup religion (ISU athletics) with Angie’s grandpa. It isn’t rare when my two religions merge, but usually it is the other way around. I’m at an Iowa State football game saying a prayer like this: “God, I know that you don’t interfere in the outcome of sporting events, but please let us make this PAT. I know that you are a Cyclone fan and isn’t there a limit to how much you will allow your people to suffer?”
• Had lunch at Pizza Pit with Frank, Clarence and Derrick. Knocked down a substantial amount of drummies!
• Talked Willy into posing for my Personal Photo Project of this week. It involved breaking a mirror and that is always fun!
• Had FNSC with Willy and Jay at La Carreta.
• When I went to the flower shop to buy flowers for a subject for RWPE, they had exactly the type of flower I wanted.
• Took Nader to see Iowa State erase a 14 point deficit to beat Colorado on a miraculous finish.
• My RWPE project turned out very well and has a few different interesting variations.
• Introduced Jay to some of his old art that I found in the basement during my sorting.
• Got a company profit sharing bonus that was easily large enough to cover my recent furnace repair.
• The raise I gave myself (by canceling AFLAC and changing insurance plans) was on Friday’s paycheck.
• Got an email from Sara where she quoted her instructor on how to do a pap smear. I won’t repeat it here, but it was a hilarious description of where not put your thumb. I will share that her instructor likes to compare the vagina to a self-cleaning oven.
• Found out that I get to provide Jen with a tool that will help her with her stained glass projects.
• Saw a bald eagle.
• Came up with a new idea for an entertainment center for my living room. My Grandpa Bennett’s old workbench. I know this idea is pure unadulterated genius because my mom hates this idea.
• Found out that I was born special and learned some family history to boot.
• Made a beard shaving pact with Tony and Corey. If we lost our Ames Rec League basketball game, we all agreed to shave out beards.
• Got some ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, phenomenal news from Jill.

My week concluded with my Ames Rec League basketball game. Our team, The Little Dribblers, has struggled mightily season.I We hadn’t won a game yet this season. I had walked around the workplace guaranteeing victory, but Tony took my guarantee up a notch and suggested that we shave our beards if we lost on Sunday.

Based on how amazing my week had been, I was supremely confident that I wouldn’t be showing up for work on Monday as a dirty naked-face. I pledged myself to the pact.

My week kept getting better and better after the pact. When I walked into the gym on Sunday night I had no doubt in my mind that me and my Little Dribblers brethren would be walking back out of that gym 60 or so minutes later with our heads held high for the first time all season.

I should point out that when I say that we haven’t won a game this season, that doesn’t mean that we get close and lose it in the end. We have been on the wrong end of some fairly brutal blowouts. It is not an exaggeration to say that we have obviously become the girlfriend game for most of the foes in the league.

Maybe I should explain the concept of the girlfriend game to those that aren’t familiar with it.

The girlfriend game is the game where you force, bring or allow your girlfriend to attend. It is a game where you are fairly certain that you will win by a healthy margin. You will look impressive and it will reassure your girlfriend or wife that she made a wise choice in selecting you from the herd.

This is the way that men think. I’m pretty sure most women would rather be at home watching Gray’s Anatomy or whatever it is that women like to do on Sunday nights. Either way, it is not paranoia that forces me to make the observation that when teams play us, there are lots of lady friends in the other team’s cheering section that aren’t there when they are playing other teams.

For the record, only Donner has ever brought his lady to one of our games. She came to our first game and hasn’t returned since. Yes, the Little Dribblers have been sans female fans since our first game. It is a sad state of affairs, but it is understandable.

That isn’t to say that we are devoid of fans. Both Doug and Joe have brought their sons to our games. Thankfully they are both too young to lose respect for their fathers based on what has transpired on the court before their innocent eyes.

Based on how awesome my week had been, I warmed up with extreme amounts of confidence. The only thing that gave me cause for pause was the fact that Tony did not show up. Why had Tony suggested a beard growing pact and then failed to even show up? Did he know something that I did not?

We still had plenty of firepower. Firepower we didn’t have the first time we locked horns with our opponents. A game where we fell in OT after running out of steam because we only had 6 players.

This time we had 9 guys. 9 guys with a wide range of talents.

The game started out with the Little Dribblers jumping on our opponent. We opened up a quick 7-0 lead. But our opponent didn’t show any quit. They rattled off 9 straight points to grab the lead, but an old-fashioned 3 point play by Donner put us up for good.

The game turned into a defensive struggle with neither team able to score much against the other team’s tough defense. The Little Dribblers settled into halftime with a 19-16 lead. Not a comfortable lead, but we were clearly in control of the game and it was our first halftime lead of the season.

During halftime I collected my thoughts and sent out a score update text.

The third quarter was all about defense for the Little Dribblers. Our tough 2-3 zone suffocated the paint and our quick guards closed out quickly on their outside shooters to prevent any open looks.

We held our opponent without a single point for the entire third quarter. We were forcing our will on them, but there didn’t seem to be any quit in them. It wasn’t until the final few seconds of the third quarter when you could finally feel the air come out of the gym.

Memory is a funny thing and I can’t swear to every detail that I’m about to describe, but it is not the exactness of the details that is of the most importance. It is the general idea of what happened that is of consequence.

With about 7 seconds left we missed a layup. Our opponent rebounded the ball and headed up court. A little in front of the three point line, Chad knocked the ball free from the man he was guarding. The ball bounced to another one of our opponents, but Corey was there playing in the jersey of his man. Corey knocked the ball free and start dribbling towards our basket. I saw that there wasn’t much time left on the clock so I sprinted towards our basket and called out for the ball. Corey, with his legendary court awareness, spotted me out of the corner of his eye and burned a pass through 2 (maybe 3) defenders. Despite the smoking velocity I caught the ball and took a dribble and went up for a layup on my weak side. The ball left my hands and banked off the backboard and through the hoop. As my feet (still nursing an injured foot) landed on the court the buzzer sounded signifying the end of the third quarter. The Little Dribblers bench jumped up and celebrated in pandemonium. Our opponents lowered their heads and walked back to their bench. There was still 10 minutes left to play, but that play effectively ended the game. We had crushed their spirits.

The last quarter played out. The buzzer sounded (after a strange player where one of their players came completely across the court to foul me, while I was just dribbling out the clock after securing the final defensive rebound of the game) and the scoreboard shouted, “Little Dribblers 43 Other Team 23″. End of losing streak. End of frustration. End of being the girlfriend game, well maybe not the last one.

We sat on the sidelines and soaked in the feel of victory for awhile. I grabbed my phone and fired off a few texts to interested parties. Perhaps they weren’t all that interested, but they got a text message any way.

It didn’t take long for the accolades to come streaming in:

“WOW!!! U guys creamed them! CONGRATS 2 U, UR TEAM, AND UR GOATEE!!!”

-Jill Gorshe

“You really ‘dominated’ them!”

-William McAlpine

“Awesome! As it happens peggy didn’t end up getting the tickets.”

Shannon Bardole

“Congrats!”

-Jen Gorshe

Jay said something cool as well, but I accidentally deleted his text message. Sorry Jay.

Jesse asked very kindly if he could touch a Little Dribbler jersey so he could know what it feels like to touch a winner. I obliged him in this request.

Now that the Little Dribblers are winners, until we take the court again on St. Valentine’s Night, I can post a picture of the Little Dribblers jersey.

I’m sorry, the jerseys are not for sale to the general public.

Last weeks Random Weekly Photo Experiment Theme was PEOPLE. Here are the submissions:

Christopher D. Bennett

Michael Vest

Jesse Howard

Becky Perkovich

There were also a couple of different types of submissions. The first of the different types of submissions came from Shannon Bardole. Her submission breaks the one and only rule of the Random Weekly Photo Experiment. That rule is that the picture has to be taken the week of the theme.

However, I’m going to allow her submission because her take on this experiment is art appreciation and not creating new art. The picture she submitted I actually took.

Shannon Bardole

Dawn Krause also had an interesting take on this RWPE. She has elected to participate this week via her medium of choice – poetry.

People
The world wants lovers never pain
To dance in sunshine without rain
Our very nature will cause a rift
Away from Eden we slowly drift

Human nature a cunning score
Breaks the heart whom we adore
For want of love unconditioned
Search the world for our rendition

Young love will often never last
For inner tensions we are cast
Still we search for a kindred soul
A companionship to make us whole

Dawn Krause

I hope at least a few people are in suspense about the theme for RWPE this week. The Random Generator spit out the following theme:

That should be interesting considering most of the vegetation is covered in a thick blanket of snow and ice, but I have faith that a few people will be able to come up with something of interest.

The day before Halloween was a very special Friday Night Supper Club. It was special because I hosted it, The guest list was expanded, we had Casey’s taco pizza and Jay made the dessert.

Why these special things occurred can be traced back to one thing. At that FNSC I took custody of Sara’s pride and joy – Jupiter Moon.

Sara was heading to Florida for a Junck family vacation and she entrusted her 4 year old cockapoo to my care for a week. Sara decided to make the transfer at FNSC. I decided that it would be best if I hosted FNSC so that Jupiter wouldn’t just be dumped into a strange house without any familiar faces. Sara brought some additional familiar faces: Anirban, Cousin Amy, Jen and Derrick.

Jen put in a request for the Casey’s taco pizza and her wish was granted.

At about 11:30 the guests packed up and left Jupiter behind. He was not very happy to be left behind, but it began our week together. A week where I was reminded of the responsibilities of dog ownership that will face me in the spring. A week where I had an opportunity to man Jupiter up, just a slight bit.

The first night was a little bit rough. Neither one of us slept particularly well. Jupiter spent almost the entire night staring at the front door. He would occasionally join me in the bedroom, but he would just stare out my bedroom door for a few seconds and then return to his post in the living room. Staring at the front door.

Jupiter spent most of Saturday morning looking depressed. When Sara texted to ask how he was doing, I responded that he was suffering from Post-Sara Depression.

Sara texted back that she though all creatures suffered from Post-Sara Depression.

I took Jupiter outside and he helped me take down and store all of the yard furniture for the winter.

By the afternoon, Jupiter was less depressed and more or less just subdued. We listened to the Iowa State football game, made spiced apple cider and nachos.

Near the conclusion of the game, Jay came over and started his annual pumpkin carving. Jupiter seemed intrigued by this and enjoyed greeting trick-or-treaters.

After the trick-or-treaters, we watched a couple of old horror movies and went to bed. Jupiter tried to sleep with me, but he wanted to sleep on top of me. He figured out that wasn’t going to work and spent the night on the couch.

On Sunday, I got up early and tailgated for church. Only 3 of us showed up for the tailgate, but the revolution was definitely on. After church, I attended a Methodist Men Board meeting, where we discussed the upcoming chicken noodle brunch.

On my way home, my mom called and asked if I wanted to look over any of grandpa’s tools. I could have any of them that I wanted.

I was planning on taking Jupiter for a walk in the park and I knew that I didn’t want any tools, so I loaded Jupiter in the car for what I thought was going to be a quick look at some tools and then a trip to the park.

As it turns out, this was actually a clean everything out of the garage mission and while I didn’t take any of the tools, I took several things out of the “garbage” pile.

Jupiter got to assist in the manly work of cleaning the garage. Unfortunately, by the time we finished, there was no longer any time for the park. I took Jupiter back home and headed to Prairie City with the Degeneffes to try the state’s reigning tenderloin champ.

Shortly after returning from that pilgrimage, I got my basketball gear together and heading to Ames for our opening games of the Ames Rec League. To start the season, we were schedule a double header!

I got home dog tired. I showered and fell asleep. Jupiter slept that night at my feet.

I always skip bowling on the first Monday of every month for my Trustees meeting. The meeting this month was fairly short. We mostly discussed cutting a pew off at one end and nothing else that I can remember.

After the meeting I took Jupiter for a walk. We walked about 1 mile. He peed (or at least stopped to lift his leg) 12 times.

Tuesday night I took Nader out for his birthday with the Baiers. Because I got home so late, Jupiter and I didn’t do anything manly.

Wednesday night I go to open gym to work on trying to recover some semblance of what used to be my basketball game. I also got home too late to do anything very manly.

Thursday night I took Jupiter to Jen and Derrick’s for a dog playdate with Bailey and Jackson.

Dog playdate didn’t go as well as we had hoped. Jackson and Jupiter seemed to get along well enough. At least they were able to ignore each other. Bailey and Jupiter did not end up being the best of buds. Jupiter was a little growly. This ended in a tiff where Bailey and Jupiter had words. Gyro Guy pizza ended up flying through the air and some smashed into the kitchen wall. A terrible waste.

Derrick took Bailey into the other room and gave her a lecture. I don’t know what he said, but Bailey was on good behavior rest of the night. Jupiter and Bailey never got all that buddy-buddy, but they didn’t come to blows. More importantly, no more Jeff’s Pizza had to be wasted.

On Friday I went to FNSC at Golden Corral. This was the first time that we have ever been to Golden Corral for FNSC. It was okay.

Afterwards, Jay came back to my place and we watched a cheerleader movie with Jupiter. I think this might have undone much of the work I had done in trying to man him up, but Sara insists that cheerleading is a sport, so it it okay.

Saturday morning, we woke up and did a little more work around the yard. I was glad to see that some of my hard work had paid off. Jupiter was actually enjoying being outside now.

I concluded my alone Jupiter time by watching College Game Day with him.

I picked up Logan and went to the Iowa State-Oklahoma State game. After the game, we met up with Sara and Anirban at Great Plains.

Then Sara came back to Boone and re-claimed Jupiter. He is back in Beaverdale, but I am posting a few pictures from his week with me.

On Sunday, when I got home from basketball, it dawned on me that it would have been really nice to have Jupiter waiting to greet me at the back door.

I texted Sara to let her know that I missed Jupiter. She texted me back that he missed me too. I asked her to watch football with him. She declined.

But to honor the week I spent with Jupiter Moon, he has become the first 4 legged creature to be featured in the Friends Album in the Snapshots Gallery!

Too much walkin’, shoes worn thin
Too much trippin’ and my soul’s worn thin
Time to catch a ride it leaves today
Her name is what it means

I’d say that there is a fair chance that when the Stone Temple Pilots recorded the song Big Empty, they were not thinking about how I feel the day after college basketball season ends. But it will pass as a close approximation.

The end of the season means the coronation of a new King of the Brackets in my pool of friends. This year the person that displayed the most prescience was again Mark Wolfram.

Roundball Oracles 2009 Final Standings
1. Mark Wolfram – Taiwan Hoops – 135 Points
2. Jason Baier – Mcdermite – 133 Points
3. Frank Meiners – Frank Meiners – 131 Points
4. Russell Kennerly – thefightingmattfortes – 128 Points
5. Dan Dill – dandydanl – 126 Points
6. Christopher D. Bennett – The Future – 124 Points
7. Nate Buckingham – Wade Lookingbill Allstar picks – 91 Points
8. Corey Faust – Tubbyville – 82 Points
9. Toby Sebring – Car Ramrod – 79 Points
10. Jesse Howard – Goldies Dance Card – 73 Points
11. Robert Henning – Fill It Up – 69 Points
12. Nader Parsaei – Charlie Chaplin – 45 Points
13. Lowell Davis – Waiting For Baseball Season – 0 Points

Past Champions
2005 – William McAlpine
2006 – William McAlpine
2007 – Tim Peterson
2008 – Mark Wolfram

It is admittedly slightly embarrassing that a dude living in Taiwan has won our NCAA tourney pool back to back years.

I have one loyal subscriber that incessantly complains whenever I post too many posts without pictures. He often sends me an email that in essence “boos” me.

I usually tell him that he is a big boy now and that he needs to use his words. But I’m quite certain that even he will be happy that this entry does not include any imagery, except whatever your imagination puts into your mind.

This story transpired on Saturday, March 14, 2009. The day after FNSC was victimized by the hype surrounding Black Market Pizza.

I am not saying that Black Market Pizza is to blame for my Saturday, but there was a series of low grade slasher movies that were popular in my youth that centered around Friday the 13th. Invariably, the person that survived the brutal onslaught of Jason Voorhees would wake up on Saturday the 14th thinking that the worst was behind them. They had survived the night. Then Jason or his mom or Tommy Jarvis would jump out of the lake and the nightmare would continue.

I woke up on Saturday the 14th feeling like the horror of Black Market Pizza was behind me. I had big plans for the day. Big plans! I didn’t know that something was still stalking me. Waiting to pounce and ruin my weekend.

Jason was picking me up at 7:30 in the morning so we could head to Best Buy to buy a dishwasher. Afterward, I was going over to my Aunt Lori’s to do my taxes. Then I was meeting Baier at King Buffet for lunch to celebrate the anniversary of his birth. Then I was heading to Rieman Music to see the remodeling work Derrick had done on the store. Then I was hoping to get the dishwasher installed. Then spend the afternoon watching the Cyclone women advance to the Big 12 title game. Then I was going to rest and relax for a bit. Then I was going to go to Shenanigans (yes, regrettably, I was planning on going to a Boone bar) for the birthday party of a friend from high school. The bonus of this party was that Willy was going to be there and he was allegedly going to be in full Dance Machine mode. I have never seen Willy dance, but I have garnered sworn testimony from his friend Kristy over the phone that he does indeed dance. But in the back of my mind, I still believe that he only talks about dancing. I was going to make a brief appearance at this party and then meet Shannon at DG’s to see Otter play. I’m not at liberty to say, but Otter just might be one of the bands that is playing Ames on the Half Shell this summer. I repeat, it was going to be a full day.

It started out well. Jason picked me up and we headed over to Best Buy. I had talked to Scottie D. on Thursday night, when he did expert work running cable to my office and living room, about coming over on Saturday to buy a dishwasher.

I had done some dishwasher research and new that I wanted both a stainless steel outside and a stainless steel inside. The outside is to match the rest of my appliances. The inside is because allegedly polymer tubs wear out rather quickly.

I swear that Scott said to meet him at Best Buy at 8.

At 8:05, we arrived in the Best Buy parking lot. We were greeted by a sign telling us that Best Buy didn’t open until 9. Since we had an hour to kill, I suggested we get some breakfast. I had heard great things about a little breakfast joint in Campustown called Angie’s Kitchen.

We killed an hour there with their food that can be best described as perfectly adequate.

We returned to Best Buy where Scott and I went over all of their dishwashers in stock. As it turned out, they had one dishwasher in stock, but it happened to be the dishwasher that I wanted.

Today was my lucky day.

We loaded the dishwasher up into the back of Carla’s van and headed to Lowe’s to pick up a few plumbing supplies.

When we got back to Boone we unloaded the dishwasher and Jason went to work on installing it. I went over to Lori’s to do my taxes.

It turns out I will be getting a healthy return back. Enough to pay off my electrician, buy a new fridge and perhaps even buy a new camera. One of the great tragedies of 2008 is the fact that I did not buy a new camera all year. I know, brings a tear to the eye.

Today was my lucky day.

I returned home to pick up some stuff I might have needed for the trip to Ames. Jason had already finished installing the dishwasher.

I met Baier at King Buffet. Inexplicably, King Buffet is his favorite restaurant. The food was perfectly adequate and we had a splendid conversation about many of the days hot topic issues.

At the conclusion of our meal I bid Baier a fond aideu and then headed downtown to Rieman Music. Derrick and his minions have done an impressive job of remodeling the store. He has made coves for individual types of products. Plus he painted the place and took down the old town and country border that used to spoil the place. It is very nice, but don’t take my word for it. Head on down and check it out. Buy a trombone or two.

I left Rieman Music and headed for my couch. I didn’t want to miss a moment of the Cyclone women playing the Baylor Bears.

As I sat on my couch I started to feel sick. Although the women were not playing well and would ultimately lose, this was not the type of sickness I feel when I watch the Greg McDermott men play. With the obvious exception of when they played UNI. I felt pretty darn good that night.

After the game concluded, I felt worse. Eventually I got to feeling so bad that I didn’t even want to move from the couch. I sat there watching whatever was on the History Channel.

I had the sensation that I wanted to vomit, but I couldn’t. I checked the time and I sadly realized that I wasn’t going to be leaving this couch on this night. I texted Shannon to let her know that I was shafting out. She texted me back to relay hopes that I feel better at some point in the future.

I put the phone down and laid my head back down on the pillows. At 9:37, I got a text message. Admittedly, I did not know it was 9:37. I thought it was well after 10. I struggled to get up and read my text message.

My expectations were that the text was from Willy saying that he was “setting the dance floor on fire” and wondering if I was making an appearance. The other possibility was that the message was from Shannon letting me know how much fun I was missing.

But the message was from neither. It was from Monica Henning:

Jeff proposed to me tonight on our trip. I said YES. (Then she included an emoticon, but even when I am quoting somebody I can’t bring myself to use an emoticon. But use your imagination. It was a happy emoticon. It probably involved a colon.)

That was a pretty cool development, but I was in so much pain I couldn’t even think straight. I decided to send the congratulations on the morrow. I frequently use the phrase “on the morrow” when I am sick.

I laid my head back down and continued to inbibe what the History Channel was dishing out. What seemed like hours passed. Then something magical happened.

I had spent my free time on Saturday organizing 3 tubs. 1 tub for audio visual cables. 1 tub for computer cables. 1 tub for phone stuff.

The magic happened 4 times into the phone stuff tub. I instantly felt, not so bad. I picked up my cell phone to check the time: 1:45. Too late to drive to Ames or go to Shenanigans. I laid my head back down on the pillow. I was asleep almost instantly. I didn’t wake up for 12 hours.

I talked to Jason the next day. He had also been sick. We both agreed that we wouldn’t be going back to Angie’s Kitchen. I decided that next time I needed to get breakfast in Ames, I would stick with The Grove Cafe.

But I don’t want the tale of Monica’s engagement to be just a footnote to a tale of vomiting on a caller id box. It is pretty exciting that Monica is tying the knot. I heard a poem once and although I definitely didn’t write it, it is what I hope Jeff feels in 50 years.

Anniversary: One Fine Day
by Walter McDonald

Who would sit through a plot as preposterous as ours,
married after years apart? Chance meetings may work
early in stories, but at operas, darling, in Texas?
A bachelor pilot, I fled Laredo for the weekend,
stopping at the opera from boredom, music I least expected.
Of all the zoos and honky-tonks south of Dallas,
who would believe I would find you there on the stairs,

Madame Butterfly about to start? When you moved
four years before, I lost all hope of dying happy,
dogfighting my way through pilot training, reckless,
in terror only when I saw the man beside you.
I had pictured him rich and splendid in my mind
a thousand times, thinking you married with babies
somewhere in Tahiti, Spain, the south of France.

When I saw the lucky devil I hated—only your date,
but I didn’t know—he stopped gloating, watching you wave,
turned old and bitter like the crone in Shangri La.
Destiny happens only in plays and cheap movies—
but here, here on my desk is your photo, decades later,
and I hear sounds from another room of our house,
and when I rise amazed and follow, you are there.

Sometimes I will bury the lead in an entry. Most of this time it is done on purpose because I want people to figure out what the most important part of the story is for themselves. However, I’m sure there are times where it is just another example of sloppy writing like the kind that Dan Brown foists upon us.

Yesterday I spent my morning wandering the aisles of Wal-Mart with Shannon and a couple representatives of Dr. Pepper photographing them purchasing toys for Toys for Tots.

The pictures are to be used in The United Way of Story County’s press release on Toys for Tots.

That sounds like a pretty important story. It certainly sounds like an interesting story, but it was not the most important part of the event for me. I want to make sure that when I start on this narrative, the most important part of the story is in the front and center, so I’m taking what I consider to be the lead part of the story out and making it into its own entry, so it doesn’t get buried under the rest of the Toys for Tots narrative.

I wrote before about how I didn’t need to share the terms of my wager with Shannon with the world. I am not a person who needs to gloat. The victory itself is usually more than enough for me.

I shared with you that one of the end results of the wager was that I ended up with a sweet UNI beanie that Shannon made and she ended up with an ISU hoodie.

If UNI would have beat ISU, I would have been forced to put on the beanie immediately following the game and worn it around and through the McLeod Center and to the car.

Furthermore, I would have had to wear the beanie to the ISU-UNI tailgate in 2010.

ISU won the game and so Shannon was subject to the terms of my wager. She simply has to wear the hoodie on to the Iowa State campus and have the experience photo-documented. This trip will of course include a stop at the Jack Trice statue outside of Jack Trice Stadium.

Shannon has requested that this trip be put off for a couple of months because of the severe cold weather and her low tolerance for extreme cold weather. I have agreed to wait.

Because of this, I was not expecting to see the Iowa State hoodie until March or April.

So yesterday was Jesse’s birthday. As far as I know the only thing he got for his birthday was the Big Juan and churros that I bought him at Taco Time and the dessert that Jay baked him. So maybe I got one of his birthday presents.

I arrived at 9 am at Wal-Mart. In the entry to Wal-Mart there were several shopping carts filled with toys, presumably for tots. I introduced myself to one of the guys from Dr. Pepper and waited for Shannon to show up.

After a few minutes she arrived and said something like, “See what I’m wearing.”

Out of the top of the black coat I could see the distinctive color of a cardinal hoodie.

“So it is starting to grow on you?” I said while trying to cover my feeling of victory.

Shannon said that I’d get a chance to some “bonus pictures”, then she quickly made up some excuses for why she was wearing the hoodie. Something about it being the only clean one that she had and she wasn’t allowed to wear her UNI hoodies to work. Then she revealed that this was just a cover story by admitting that she had worn it this past weekend, but then quickly tried to cover up the reason why behind “liking new clothes”.

Regardless of the motivations that she tells herself and the motivations that she tells the world, I was able to get some bonus images of Shannon in her new cardinal and gold.

So before getting into the whole Toys for Tots experience, I would like to share a couple of those images that her dad (the truck driver for the day) was talked into taking.

In a related note, Toys for Tots received thousands of dollars in toy donations on that day, but that isn’t the lead story.

I was offered Angie’s ticket to the Oregon State game on Saturday. I then forgot it at work. I was then offered Kelly’s ticket. I took it.

I took a few photos of Hilton. As you can tell, the tickets aren’t quite as good as the football tickets.

The next picture is kind of an optical illusion. Don’t stare at it. It might make you sick.

The Cyclone did win on this day, defeating Barack Obama’s brother-in-law.