Category Archives: Comedy

Powell 40th Anniversary Banquet

Recently had the pleasure of attending the Powell 40th Anniversary Banquet and have a tasty meal, watch Sara on a video, enjoy excellent company, and watch a hilarious comedian. Mark Lundholm is the foremost addiction-recovery comedian. After the show, Sara, Jen, and Jill spoke with him and got their picture taken with him:




If you are interested in seeing part of his act, watch the video below:



Future Road Trip Master?

Brandon got his driver’s license this week.



I believe that when you reach a certain age, you are required by social norms to make a few certain cliche jokes when certain events occur.

One such event is when somebody gets their first driver’s license.

An aged person should give out the warning that goes something like this:

“Stay off the streets. Brandon has his driver’s license.”

Then another elder statesman ups the ante with the predictable rejoinder:

“Stay off the sidewalks, too!”

I am allergic to cliches and cheap humor, so I refrained from making any of these jokes. Besides if family history is any indicator, it is only trees that have something to worry about.

Christmas Eve

Tonight is my favorite church service of the year. I love Candlelight Service on Christmas Eve! It is one beautiful service that manages to completely encapsulate the season of Advent for me. It is one service where I definitely can feel Hope, Love, Peace and Joy.

Plus I love the symbolism of an entire church being filled with the soft warm glow of candlelight. The room starts completely dark except for the light coming from the Christ candle. Then the Christ candle lights one candle. That candle lights another candle. Until every candle in the room is lit. All the light having originated from one candle.

When the congregation sings Silent Night, I feel that song more than any other song the entire year. I would not be lying if I told you that at the end of the service when the bell strikes midnight and it is officially Christmas I always get goosebumps.

I hope your Christmas Eve is as wonderful as the one I believe that I will have.

I wanted to share a story from Andrea’s sermon on Sunday because I believe it is both funny and a story worth reflecting on during the Christmas season.

A guy was standing near a cliff all by himself. He was taken by a rush of courage and curiosity and moved close to the edge.

Then he moved a little closer.

The ground underneath his feet began to give a little bit, but then it seemed to hold.

He moved a little bit closer, just to get a little bit better look at the valley below.

The ground gave out underneath his feet and the man fell down the face of the cliff. But after only a few feet his hand caught a small root and his life was spared.

But it was only for a moment. It was a small root and it quickly began to give way as well.

The man shouted out, “Is there somebody up there that can help me? God if you are there, help me!”

Then the man heard the voice of God ask, “Do you have faith in me?”

The man replied, “Yes, of course. I have total faith in you.”

“Then let go.”

The man thought for a second and then shouted, “Is there anybody else up there?”

I got Mark’s newsletter this week:

The Taiwan Times
By Mark Wolfram

Merry Christmas! It is that time of year again where we can rejoice and celebrate the birth of our Savior, who brings us peace, joy, and hope. In the season of Christmas it is easy to get caught up in all of the “stuff” that we have to do or things that are going on. I pray that God would help all of us remember why we celebrate, and that in this message we would find the peace that comes only from Jesus.

Here in Taiwan, there are many activities that I am involved with during Christmas time. I know I have written about some of these in the past, including various skits, songs, and Christmas parties. Last night was my personal highlight of the Christmas season: Christmas caroling. Teachers and students who live at school went outside of the campus last night and sang Christmas songs at some of the local businesses. Then we gathered together to sing to the faculty and staff that live here on the campus of Concordia Middle School. Walking on the streets with the guitar and hearing the students joyfully sing praises to God always warms my heart and brings a smile to my face.

In addition to the Christmas caroling, yesterday the students of Concordia Middle School decorated their Christmas trees. Every December, the school holds a Christmas tree decorating contest. Each class is given a tree or large bush in the central part of campus. They then need to create a tree based on a Bible story. Some popular stories include: Jesus feeds 5,000, Jesus turns water into wine, the parable of the lost sheep, and Noah’s ark.

Students work in their free time in the weeks leading up to Christmas to create items to put on the Christmas tree. Part of the goal of the competition is for students to make the tree using recyclable materials such as boxes, cans, and paper. They also can have lights, but they are not supposed to buy fancy decorations. Yesterday morning and afternoon students were outside working on their trees, and then in the evening, they lit up the trees. It was beautiful. The competition is also a great way to get the students excited about Christmas, read the Bible and build cooperation and teamwork.

The school leaves the decorations up for a couple of days and one of my favorite things to do during the days after Christmas is to walk outside in the evening. I usually wait until about 9:00 and I bring my I-pod and headphones. I then walk around and look at all of the trees as they light up the night. I will also take time to stop by each one of my classes and pray for the students in those classes.
I thank God for the chance to do this, and I rejoice at the mission of this school. Most schools in Taiwan don’t celebrate Christmas, and in fact they have school on Christmas day (we actually do too). However, for the students of CMS it is not just another part of the school year. It is a chance to celebrate and understand why Christmas is important. I pray that the message of Jesus’ birth will change the lives of these students, and give them new life in Jesus.

It’s Prayer Time!
1. Please pray for the students at CMS, that they will understand the true meaning of Christmas and believe it.
2. Praise God that my online classes have finished and that I will have a little bit more time in my schedule.
3. Please pray for my teaching. We will end the semester in a couple of weeks and pray that God will help me to end well and continue to show His love to my students.
4. Please pray for my Chinese language learning. That God would help my stay focused and work hard as I attempt to learn the language. Pray also that He would present opportunities for me to use Chinese as a witness to Him.

I wish you all the peace of Christ this Christmas season. Merry Christmas!!!

Mark

If I don’t see you before then, I hope that you all have a Merry Christmas!

1928

On Saturday night we celebrated Doris’ 80th birthday with a birthday dinner. Not to be mistaken with a birthday party.

It was a good time and it was the first time I had seen Janice and Mary Beth in quite some time.

Janice gave me this cool sticker:


Wildlife Against Palin

I just need to find a good home for it.

Hilarity Ensues

This is a video that I came across on YouTube. If you are a subscriber to this blog, you will actually have to go to the website to see it.

It is dedicated to anybody that thinks that it is pathetic to cry at the movies. That is a really cynical attitude. Especially this close to Mother’s Day.


Mantage

My Happy Easter

I feel like posting some pictures from Easter.


03-25-08
Alexis

03-25-08
Carla & Mom Watching Egg Hunt

03-25-08
Egg Hunt

03-25-08
Neighbor’s Dog that Doesn’t Shut Up

03-25-08
Mom

03-25-08
Alexis Sorting Eggs

03-25-08
Teresa Displaying the Maturity of her Years

03-25-08
Brandon

03-25-08
Johnathan

03-25-08
Jason, Carla & Brandon

03-25-08
Elainie

03-25-08
Logan

03-25-08
Teresa Crocheting

03-25-08
Vacation Pictures

I also had supper with Shorty, Doris, Tim, Rebecca and Nate. Doris told us the joke that their Pastor (Pastor Rod) had told the congregation on that day. I thought it was kind of funny.

“The elders of the church decided that since Easter was coming up they wanted to have a really special speaker for the Service. They thought about it for a bit and they decided that they wanted the most knowledgeable Pastor they could find to give the sermon.
So they went to him and he turned them down.
They thought about it some more and decided they should get the most eloquent Pastor to give the sermon.
So they found the most eloquent Pastor and asked him, but he turned them down.
They went back to the church and thought about it some more. They decided that they should get the best looking Pastor they could find to give the sermon.
So they found the best looking Pastor and asked him, but he turned them down.
They went back to the church and thought about it some more.
Then one of them said: “Well we can still get Pastor Rod.”
They all decided that was a good idea and they came to me and asked me to give the sermon on Easter Sunday.
I told them, “Yes.”
After all, I had already turned them down three times.”

I hope you had a Happy Easter.

Love from the RNC

It looks like “true conservatives” took time out from their busy schedule of ripping John McCain (Go Gang of 14!) to design some Valentine’s Day cards for the upcoming holiday. As a guy with a romantic spirit, I thought I would post their Obama Valentine’s cards.








Interestingly enough, it seems like the same people that designed these cards are the same people that write Hillary Clinton’s speeches. It seems like many of them will be looking for work pretty soon. Maybe they can sign on with the RNC.

The Presbyterian Experience

I’ve just had a few random thoughts cross my brain in the last few days.

Harvest Moon

Last night was the Harvest Moon. I didn’t really get to check it out myself because it was cloudy and I fell asleep on the couch waiting for score updates from the Padres game. I hope somebody else out there enjoyed it.

Iowa State’s New Uniforms

Yesterday Jamie Pollard announced the new Iowa State football uniforms. Take a look:









My main thing is that I’m very thankful that they didn’t decide to go with white helmets. The cardinal helmets look awesome. I am not crazy about the logo. Nobody in the world identifies us as “I State”, but at least the logo looks good on the helmets even if it doesn’t make perfect sense.

The home uniforms do have a very distinct USC flavor to them, but I can handle that because I’d rather look like USC and have our real colors than look like a loser franchise like the Chiefs and be sporting red and yellow for some reason.

The New Peso?

I don’t want to tell you what to think politically, but thanks to the completely unnecessary war in Iraq, Mr. Bush’s War (thanks to all the people that caught that sweet reference to and indictment of our 4th President), the United States is borrowing 2 billion dollars a day from foreign governments. This has lead to the weakening of the dollar. So much so that the Canadian dollar is now worth more than the American dollar. To think just 5 years ago, the Canadian dollar was only worth 64% of the American dollar and now it is worth more. If we continue on this kind of decline it might at least resolve one political issue that I personally could care less about but am sick of hearing about, the United States might be come little more than flyover territory for illegal immigrants trying to make their way to Canada.

Why should the average American care? That two dollar package of tube socks at Wal-Mart is about to go up in price. The American dollar can’t buy what it used to buy.

Tomorrow night Aasif Mandvi from The Daily Show is going to be speaking at Stephens Auditorium. I’m pretty excited for this event. It is going to be awesome.

A little fun fact for you. I have revealed this fun fact before, but it is sort of related to the title of this journal entry.

Presbyterians is an anagram for Britney Spears. That is really about all I know about Presbyterians. However, after watching this video, I might have a clue what it is like to be a Presbyterian.

However, below is a video of Buck Henry’s recent appearance on The Daily Show.

The bit itself is only moderately funny, but there is a line in there I think Iowa women should hear. It is an interesting theory on why Iowa gets to have the first caucus in the nation. So if you are an Iowa woman or a fan of Iowa women, watch the video.

VIDEO DELETED


My only real response to this is, I guess I’m glad I was born in Iowa.

Sister, The State Fair, and A Few Jokes

For the last few years my sister Teresa has talk a lot of jibber jabber about entering the State Fair crocheting competition. In the same time frame, Monica has made a similar amount of dissonance about entering a painting into the State Fair.

Last year they were together in a contingency of people that made their way to the Fair with me. Once again they began opening their mouths and allowed words to escape about how “next year” they were going to enter their wares. Perhaps it was the heat. Perhaps it was hunger. Perhaps it was hearing the same inane prattle for years, but I believe that I snapped at them.

I can’t recall what I said, but I’m sure I pointed out that I was sick of hearing this same song and dance every year and yet every year the State Fair deadline came and went and all their talk had yet to spawn any action.

It has always been my philosophy to not pay too much attention to the words that people use. Everybody can talk a good game about what they are going to do or how good a person they are. One of the great truths I’ve learned in life is that “action defines character”. If you want to know the truth about a person, don’t listen to what they say. Watch what they do.

At that point they struck a deal. They both agreed to enter something next year. Well as I gaze admiringly at the Photography 139 Calendar on my wall I realize that next year is now this year. That immediately begs the question: “How are they doing?”

At a recent birthday dinner for Monica she revealed that she “still had plans” for the State Fair. So that is where Monica stands.

Teresa on the other hand has been quite diligent in her pursuit of the State Fair. She has been crocheting things left and right. The picture below are her latest creations. What makes these creations impressive is that these bears are a few inches tall.






I wanted to throw out a couple of jokes from the “Showbiz Show” that amused me:

A new video game allows you to form a “virtual band” online with other Xbox users. Those who’ve played it say it’s so realistic you almost feel like an actual failure.

Bono was granted an honorary knighthood, but he’s not entitled to be called “Sir” because he’s not a British citizen. “It’s cool, I wouldn’t want to be called anything that’s not my god-given name,” said Bono. “Yeah, that’d be totally pretentious,” said The Edge.

Former Spice Girl Melanie Brown has given birth to a baby girl, who she claims was fathered by Eddie Murphy. She’s basing this on the fact that the baby is capable of both being totally amazing and putting out crap.