To replace RWPE on Mondays this year, I am going to attempt to take a self-portrait every day this year. I have no expectations that I will take 366 winners (or even 66 winners for that matter), but that isn’t necessarily the point.

Although you will be able to see how much weight I gain this year, how much hair I lose, how much more dashing I become, and how many times I shave (over/under is at 10 for you gamblers) that isn’t really the point either.

Although I’m sure a few of the important events of 2012 will be recorded, documenting my life for 1 year isn’t really the point either.

The is a photography exercise more than anything else. An exercise to get me to attempt to think creatively at least once every day. Hopefully there are some winners in there. Hopefully I don’t gain any weight and I know that I will become exponentially more dashing. Hopefully I will have more than 10 reasons to shave this year. Hopefully there are many good milestones in my life worth documenting. But, all of those will be ancillary benefits.

I will try to take all of these pictures without assistance. Meaning, I won’t hand the camera to somebody and say, “Take a picture of me doing X.” But I’m sure that will happen on occasion.

Here are the first 8 pictures from this project.

01/01/12 12:01 AM


01/02/12 11:25 PM


01/03/12 9:12 PM


01/04/12 4:42 PM


01/05/12 6:12 PM


01/06/12 10:24 PM


01/07/12 8:41 PM


01/08/12 6:39 PM

Hopefully this will provide amusement to somebody besides me.

“In the end, everything is a gag.”

- Charlie Chaplin

 

When it comes to college basketball prognostication, 2011 will be remembered as the Year of the Woman.

Not only did the Roundball Oracles crown our first ever champion from the fairer of the two sexes, three out of the top four finishers were also members of the female persuasion.

It was certainly a chaotic NCAA Tournament this year.  Consider these facts:

 

• Before the Final Four was even played, our championship was already secured.
• Only two people (Jesse and I) even got a single Final Four team right. We both got Connecticut right.
• Our eventual champion’s national champion lost in the 1st Round.
• 6 people picked Kansas as their champ, 4 picked Duke, 2 people picked Ohio State, 1 person picked Syracuse, 1 person picked UCLA, 1 person picked Michigan State, and 1 person picked BYU. None of those teams even made it to the Final Four.
• Our eventual champion finished in last place last year.
• Our 3 time defending champ finished in 2nd to last place this year.
• Only Jesse got 1 of the teams in the championship game (Connecticut) right.

So who is the new Queen of College Basketball Divination?

 

It is Carrie Baier!

 

The Final Standings

Name – Bracket Name – Points – Correct Games – Last Year

1. Carrie Baier – Izzo – 100 points -41/63 – 21st
2. Jesse Howard – MeatThermometer – 94 points  – 39/63 – 13th
3. Linda Toot – LittleSister – 74 points – 38/63 – 9th
4. Dawn Krause – Duh Winning – 73 points – 34/63 – 3rd
5. Jason Baier – Duke the Fifth – 72 points – 35/63 – 7th
6. Corey Faust – Always Go Top Shelf – 69 points – 34/63 – 4th
7. Christopher D. Bennett – They Call Me Mr. Bennett – 63 points – 31/63 – 18th
8. Robert Henning – Losing Bracket – 59 points – 32/63 – 8th
9. Russell Kennerly – StackinWinsLikeJustinBeiber – 59 points – 31/63 – 17th
10. Andree Jauhari – Floccinaucinihilipilification- 58 points – 31/63 – DNP
11. Nate Buckingham – White Magic – 57 points – 33/63 – 9th
12. Tim Peterson – Dominate Monkey – 57 points – 32/63 – 9th
13. Lowell Davis – Golden voiced hobo lover – 53 points – 34/63 – DNP
14. Nader Parsaei – Oscar – 51 points – 29/63 – 2nd
15. Mark Wolfram – Taiwan Hawkeye – 26/63 – 1st
16. Shaun Kirsch – Lil_Dog – 45 points – 29/63 – DNP
17. Frank Meiners – Master Picks – 0 points – 0/63 -4th

 

If I were giving an award for the best bracket name, it would clearly go to Andree, but I am not. Perhaps next year.

 

Carrie’s name now sits in the Hall of Champions with the past greats:

Past Champions

2011 – Carrie Baier

2010 – Mark Wolfram

2009 – Mark Wolfram

2008 – Mark Wolfram

2007 – Tim Peterson

2006 – William McAlpine

2005 – William McAlpine

I already can’t wait for the next college basketball season to start and not only because I expect the Cyclones to return to greatness next year. At least I have the Spring Game to look forward to in a couple of weeks. It is football, but it is something.

There weren’t many submissions for STILL LIFE, but at least Julie joined us again! Here are the submissions for STILL LIFE:

Mike Vest of Waxen Media


Christopher D. Bennett


Julie Johnson of The Joy Is In The Journey

I went over to talk to the Random Theme Generator and it immediately spit out a theme for this week:

COMMUNICATION

A great and easy subject for me as I am considered one of the world’s foremost masters of communication. I just hope this theme comes as easy for others as it does for me.

A look back at 2010′s submissions for COMMUNICATION:

COMMUNICATION

HOUSEKEEPING

It is March Madness again, that means that it is time once again for the Roundball Oracles annual NCAA tournament pool. I have already sent out quite a few emails with directions on how to join the pool, but if I missed you or haven’t gotten to you yet, drop me an email at bennett@photography139.com and I will get the information to you forthwith.

As always, this isn’t a boy’s club. Women, small children and the elderly are welcome to sit at my feet and be taught lessons by my extensive basketball knowledge and basketball prognostication skills.

As always, the only fee to enter is pride. The only prize given out to the losers is humility. However, I do provide a trophy to the winner. That trophy is going to look nice sitting on my desk this year.

As always, I hope the winner isn’t Mark Wolfram.

Past Champions

2010 – Mark Wolfram
2009 – Mark Wolfram
2008 – Mark Wolfram
2007 – Tim Peterson
2006 – William McAlpine
2005 – William McAlpine

Last year we had a record number of participants. Basketball knowledge is not a prerequisite for participation. Just ask Carrie Baier from last year!

On Wednesday morning I woke up and most of my anger about the Fred Hoiberg hire had dissipated. I had come to accept the fact that while this was mostly a public relations move, there is a chance that it could work. I’m not saying that this is an uncontested breakaway slam dunk. This is more like a turnaround fadeaway with a 7 footer in your face from the baseline.

While it is scary that he will be learning on the job, there is a potential huge upside. He should be able to recruit and he should be able to evaluate talent. 95% of basketball games are won by the team with the more talented players.

I also assume that since Hoiberg has years of NBA experience he will be able to relate to the younger, more talented players and the great exodus of talent from Ames will finally come to an end. Any Biblical scholar can tell you that after the exodus ends it is only a matter of time before the years of wandering in the desert comes to an end.

Even though we will only return 5 scholarship players from last year, I still feel that we will have a better record next year. I’m not sure why I have this optimism, but I have come to peace with the Hoiberg hiring. On Wednesday morning I accepted that it might just work. After all, Hoiberg is a graduate of the nation’s premier land grant university. That fact alone qualifies him for about any job that I can name!

After coming to that conclusion, I got out of bed and took a shower. After Nate woke up we went to Puffy Cream for breakfast. It was excellent, again.

I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stick around, so I contacted Jill about getting supper. She wasn’t sure when she would get off work because her company was enforcing mandatory overtime, even though it wasn’t even Georgia-Texas week.

Eventually it worked out and we agreed to meet at The 5-8 Club at 6:30.

I don’t watch lots of television. I’m always leery of saying that because I don’t want to come off as one of those snobby people who don’t own a television and feel that this gives them a degree of superiority to other people. I can’t stand those people. I’m better than those people.

That being written, I really don’t watch much television. Of the shows that are currently being broadcast on network television, I’ve probably seen a single episode of maybe 10 shows. But on this day, I spent a good portion of the day sitting on the couch watching tv with Nate.

We watched two episodes of The West Wing. Then we watched the show Parenthood. Then we watched the movie Parenthood. Then at about 3 o’clock when Nate was leaving for work, Becca woke up and I watched television with her. We watched local news and she lectured me on why I should watch BBC news because it wasn’t “biased”. I thought this was funny because I once wrote a paper on media bias when I was in college.

At 6:30 I met Jill at The 5-8 Club in Minneapolis. When I was in Minnesota in February I ate at Matt’s Bar with Jim and Bethany. Matt’s Bar and The 5-8 Club both claim to have invented the Juicy Lucy. I was happy that I was going to be able to have both sandwiches so I could determine which one I consider to be the superior burger.

The 5-8 Club

The 5-8 Club was set up a little bit weird. It wasn’t a huge restaurant, but it was of a decent size, but the weird part about it was that you sat yourself. I don’t think that I’ve been in a restaurant this large where you sat yourself.

The place was packed, but there wasn’t a line and a couple of people left as we entered the building, so we were able to get a seat immediately.

I was pretty hungry since all I had eaten on the day was a couple of donuts and some leftover walleye from Houlihan’s. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true. Becca fed me some food that she had bought at Trader Joe’s. A place that Becca is very passionate about. Regardless, I was still hungry.

We ordered mushrooms for an appetizer and I’m not sure if this was a mistake or how they do things, but rather than ranch dressing it came with bleu cheese dressing. I’m not a fan of bleu cheese dressing and this has lead to many a discordant evening with me and Jesse at our favorite wings eating places across central Iowa. However, their bleu cheese dressing was fairly good. It didn’t make me instantly want to vomit like most bleu cheese dressing.

I orderd The Juicy Luicy:

By far our most popular menu item, the Juicy Lucy is a mouth-watering half pound burger stuffed with American cheese. The cheese is HOT – be careful and take your time. Bleu, pepper or Swiss cheese is also available. The wait’s a little bit longer; but we promise it’ll be worth it!

Jill ordered The Saucy Sally:

Lucy’s little sister. Born on May 8, 2005. She making her public debut! A half pound burger stuffed with our secret sauce, and topped with American cheese, shredded lettuce, raw onions, and a smear of Thousand Island Dressing. Make sure you have plenty of napkins.

While Jill was explaining to me her theory on why she is an evolved being, the people sitting in the booth next to ours stopped her. They apologized for eavesdropping on our conversation and then made commentary on why they agreed with Jill’s theory on highly evolved human being.

Really!

Have your own conversation people! I understand that we are probably more fascinating and interesting than you are and it must be hard not to eavesdrop on us, but at least try to have your own conversation.

After we had ate as much food as we could, we waited patiently for our bill. This was the type of joint where you pay the waitress, but our waitress had disappeared. In fact, I didn’t see any waitress. We probably waited for a good 20 minutes before the waitress showed up and said:

“You guys probably want to go home.”

Then a few minutes later she showed up with the bill.

I gave her my Bank of the Bear card. She took it and when she came back to give me the bill she handed me somebody else’s credit card. After hopefully getting the finances of the evening squared away I’m ready to make this proclamation:

Matt’s Bar serves the superior Ju(i)cy Lucy. The 5-8 Club wasn’t bad and I would certainly go back, but Matt’s is superior. At some point I might have to go back to try the Saucy Sally.

After the meal I bid Jill a fond adieu and hit the open road back to the Cyclone State. It was a pretty great 3 days in Minnesota.

I was set on going back to the Cyclone State on Tuesday night after visiting Faust on his day off, but Bethany and Becca requested that I stay one more night. I had no plans for Wednesday (Sara’s attempt to convince me to go to Iowa City failed since she couldn’t produce a single credible theory on why it would be fun for me to sit around while she put stitches in a pig’s foot), so I agreed to come back to Eagan after my visit to Mankato.

Nate, Becca and Bethany live a couple blocks from a donut store by the name of Puffy Cream Donuts. After I woke up and showered, I hit the open road to Mankato after picking up some cream filled goodness at Puffy Cream.

When I got to Mankato I stopped at Target so I could buy some extra clothes for the extra day in Minnesota.

I arrived at the Faust home and we discussed potential new coaches for the Cyclones.

My dream has always been that Iowa State rights the wrong it made several years ago and brings back Eustachy. I know this was a pipedream, but there are several great options out there. It was exciting to think about what guy Pollard would bring to Ames to return the Cyclones to glory.

We went to Mr. Goodcents for lunch. I hadn’t eaten at Mr. Goodcents since the one in Ames closed down while I was still in college. The sandwiches are no longer as epic in scope as they were all those years ago, but it was definitely still very tasty and I wasn’t disappointed. Not like how disappointed I am with the horrible joke that is masquerading as Panchero’s across the street from the Computer Mine.

At 2:30 we walked over to Jackson’s school to pick him up. I got to admire some of his artwork and look around his school.

As we returned to the Faust abode, I checked my email on my phone. I wasn’t expecting any messages of great consequence, I was just trying to hammer out lunch plans for Thursday with Shannon, but then I got an email message from The Swell Season updating their Summer tour schedule. They are coming to 1st Ave in July! Hallelujah!

After further discussion about who Iowa State could get as a coach, Nicole came and picked us up to get cotton candy!

The residence hall where she works was trying to get the students to leave their dorm rooms by serving cotton candy, popcorn and playing approved music. I don’t know how well it worked on the students, but it worked on Jackson, Faust and I.

On the way over to Minnesota State’s campus, Jackson flexed the golden pipes and wowed me by singing along word for word with the Justin Bieber CD playing on the stereo.

A portion of the day was following Jackson while he ran through the hallways of the dormitory.


Jackson has yet to develop his dad’s patented “Leaning Weiner” shot.


Now I’ve been able to school two generations of Fausts on the court. Plus Faust and I did relive some old Saturday Morning Basketball memories. Including how he felt that he owned The Salmon on the court. Hmmm… two friends that think they own The Salmon.


Jackson nailed somewhere between 3-5 shots depending on how he retells the story.


Faust manning the popcorn machine.


Jackson and his Mr. Freeze


Fronting for the Cyclones in Maverick Country


Faust Knocking Down Cotton Candy Goodness

Shortly after we got back to the Faust Estate my phone rang. It was Jesse.

“We just hired a new coach. Fred Hoiberg.”

I was instantly pissed. Are you kidding me? We just hired some guy because he is super popular with the fan base even though he has NO coaching experience on any level. Was this the cheapest publicity stunt ever?

Full disclosure: I’m not and never was a ravenous Fred Hoiberg fan. He was a solid player and a nice story. His teams were okay and they went to the tournament, but they were not my teams and I could not stand their style of play. They were soft. I was and always will be a Dedric Willoughby fan. He actually won a championship. I’m sure if Pollard would have announced that Willoughby was the new coach and he was filling out his staff with Jacy Holloway, Kenny Pratt and Shawn Bankhead I would have jumped for joy. Hoiberg doesn’t do it for me like he does it for the grand majority of Cyclone nation.

Jesse and I vented our anger. Then Faust and I vented our anger.

I sent text messages to Baier, Bill, Russell, Andree, Derrick and Schmidt.

Bill wrote back:

“Fred? As head coach?”

“Yep.”

“Does he have any coaching experience?”

“None. Not at all.”

“Not good at all”

Andree wrote back:

“I guess he didn’t even entertain the idea of hiring Larry back. Well, here’s hoping Hoiberg’s NBA connections can help with recruiting. Was Pollard expecting another Paul Rhoads or something? He’ll be fired next year. This is a cheap move by hiring Ames favorite son to get fans off his back. Idiot!”

“It might be a popular move. I guess we can hope this works out.”

“Popular or not Hoiberg has some cache in Ames. Maybe he can sell to future recruits: “I got all the GMs phone numbers. If you got the chops, they’ll take my call.”

Then I got a call from Baier. We vented. Then I got a call from Russell. We vented.

Then I got a text from Schmidt.

“They are reporting The Mayor as our next coach.”

“I feel that we are worse off now than we were on Sunday with McDermott as our coach.”

“Typical Chris response that I expected!”

“Maybe he is a quick study.”

“We won’t know for three years. Its the Hall of Fame coaching staff!”

Then Derrick called. Of everybody I talked to he seemed the most optimistic that this might work. Although he had just got off the phone with Shawn and Shawn was extremely negative about this hire. But we didn’t get a full conversation because some customer came into the store and he had to “work”.

Faust and I discussed this move for quite a bit longer. Then I headed backup to Eagan.

Nate and I went to Houlihan’s for supper and then we came back to the house. I watched Weeds with Becca until about 2 in the morning and then I went to bed.

Much of my anger over the Hoiberg hiring had subsided and I was able to go to sleep rather quickly

Day 4 of vacation was still pretty great, despite the surprise Hoiberg hiring!

I woke up early on Monday morning. I’m not sure if it was the excitement of the forthcoming trip or if the rumors of Greg McDermott’s departure were so exciting to me that I was like a little kid on Christmas anxiously awaiting the chance to rip the wrapping paper off of his new Omega Supreme!

As I prepared for the trip (as much as I always wish that I was a night before packer – I am definitely a 15 minutes before leaving packer) I listened to the local sports talking heads Deace and Miller discuss McDermott’s departure to Creighton. Only they weren’t using words like “potential” or “possible”.  They were talking about his departure as being a done deal.

I always liked McDermott.  I hoped that he was going to get it done. While almost all of my other Cyclone friends had left the McDermott sinking ship, I was certain that this past year was going to be his season. He had two future NBA players on his roster. A capable veteran point guard. A pair of sharpshooters. A serviceable center. A bench full of athletic underclassmen.

However, it all went downhill very fast. I remember the moment that I knew that McDermott wasn’t going to get it done. 

Jill and I had went over to Derrick and Jen’s to watch a movie.  Derrick had called me earlier in the day to make sure that we were a “unified front” on being able to watch the Cyclones demolish Northwestern before we watched a movie. Of course we were a unified front!

The only problem was that Iowa State didn’t demolish Northwestern.  In fact, they lost to a Northwestern team that was missing one of its best players.

This was a bad sign.

True many Floyd and Eustachy teams were terrible in the early part of the season, only to cohese and become a dominant force down the stretch.  After all, the Elite Eight team lost to a bad Drake team.

Only one of the warning signs that McDermott was in over his head at ISU was the disturbing fact that his teams did not become better as the season went along. In fact, they seemed to get worse.

Even though my head knew that this highly touted team was going nowhere fast, I think my heart forced my mouth to utter the phrase “wake-up call”.  Only this wasn’t a “wake-up call” for them. It was a wake-up call for me. 

The season went downhill fast. A loss at home to UNI. Barely beating Iowa’s intramural team. Barely beating Houston. Lucca leaving in the middle of the season. 4 conference wins.

Then moments after the season was over, Brackins goes pro. Buckley and Hamilton transfer. The NCAA punish Iowa State for being Iowa State and doesn’t grant Gilstrap another year of eligibility.

It seemed like there was blood in the water. The only question was how would Pollard come up with 2.5 million dollars to payoff McDermott?

Only instead of dropping the axe on McDermott like he did on Wayne Morgan (despite Wayne Morgan having 3 straight winning seasons) Pollard gave McDermott a vote of confidence.

Then a month went by and it got weird. Two assistant coaches left. Colvin left. Pollard sent out two enigmatic letters. One to a kid telling him that he understood his concerns about the direction of the ISU basketball team, but his records indicated that the kid didn’t donate money to the athletic department, so bugger off.  Then another letter where he blamed McDermott’s inability to keep players (including a finalist for Player of the Year honors that played for Syracuse this year – yeah that hurt to watch) not on McDermott, but on this generation of worthless kids. He started the letter by throwing Fennelly under the bus and ended it with some very fuzzy math.  He tried to make the argument that kids transferring is an epidemic, but if you actually do the math with the numbers he provides, the average Division 1 school lost .5 kids to transfer in the last two years. Iowa State has lost 6. Now 7 with the transfer of Boozer.

Then Christmas came. Oregon hired Dana Altman. Creighton wanted Greg McDermott to replace him!

Not only was Iowa State not going to continue its long descent into irrelevance, it wasn’t going to cost us 2.5 million to go in a new direction. In fact, Creighton is going to have to pay us $800,000 for the right to take our problem off of our hands.

The only problem was that I wasn’t going to be in the state to hear the news. I was going to be in Minnesota.

However, I’m a problem solver. After I gassed up the car and picked up some needed supplies for the trip (two bottles of water, a bag of beef jerky and two Whatchamacallits) I texted Baier, Jesse and Schmidt and asked them to let me know when it had become official that McDermott was heading to Nebraska! Then I hit the open road.

I arrived in Eagan at about 11:30. Nate was the only one home and awake.

I had assigned Nate the task of finding us interesting places to eat at during my two day stay in Minnesota.  He handed me a magazine with reviews of numerous Twin City restaurants. However, he noted that Bethany strongly favored eating at Chino Latino.

I found the review of Chino Latino. The review stated that Chino Latino served guinea pig!  I was in.

After deciding on the dining option for that evening we piled into the car and head to Five Guys for lunch.  We had a little bit of difficulty finding it, but when we did finally locate it, it was worth it.

Five Guys is a burger joint.  The menu is simple and the food is tasty. I will definitely be going back.

They serve fresh cut potato fries. They put them in a cup, but they also fill the bottom of your bag with more fries.

A “hot mess” but in a good way, not in the Edie Sedgwick way.

It is usually busy enough that they serve you free peanuts while you wait in line.

They also let you know where your potatoes came from.

Simple menu and you get to add whatever toppings that you want!

Bags of Potatoes

Even though we were stuffed, Nate suggested that we visit a White Castle. I’ve always heard that their food is nasty, but I’ve never eaten at a White Castle and I’ve always wanted to try it.

To give our stomach time to process the goodness of Five Guys we headed from Edina to Apple Valley so that Nate could pickup and deposit his paycheck.

Nate banks where Bethany works, so I got to speak with her briefly. When her co-worker wasn’t butting in to tell me about his brother-in-law that used to play football for Iowa State. Only he can’t remember his name, but he rushed for 438 yards in one game. Some people you just have to let speak.

Next stop White Castle!

White Castle

Our sojourn to White Castle wasn’t adventurous and nobody would make a movie about it. We each ordered two sliders.

The hype about White Castle was dead-on! The food is absolutely dreadful. I can’t believe this place stays in business.

We took the rest of the day to rest before Chino Latino.

Jesse called and gave me the fantastic news that it was official. Creighton had given our basketball program the gift of a fresh, new beginning!

Nate called Chino Latino and made a reservation, but found out the sad news that in order to get the guinea pig, Cuy, you had to order it 48 hours in advance.

DENIED!

Luckily Jill was sort of able to provide some recommendations to me. Sort of.

Later in the night Bethany came home and we went over to her significant other’s house to meet up before going to Uptown.

While we were waiting for some people to get ready, Bill called to ask if Creighton had really hired McDermott.

“Yes.”

“Do they know that he had 4 straight losing seasons at Iowa State despite having the greatest homecourt advantage in the nation?”

“They don’t make them very smart in Nebraska.”

“True that.”

7 of us met up at Chino Latino. Beth, John, Becca, Nate, John’s friend Ben and Bethany’s co-worker “V”.

Chino Latino serves equatorial food. That means that the food comes from countries that are on the equator.

Nate really wants to order Fidel’s Capitalist Pig Roast at some point. Which is a teenage pig, if you are the type of person that needs labels.

The food was excellent. Once I saw the $45 price tag, I didn’t feel so bad about the guinea pig denial.

I rode back to Eagan with Becca so that I could see her new car and the cowboy joint where she currently works.

Near Chino Latino

Becca’s Favorite Store

This is kind of how it feels to be riding around with Becca.

Day 3 of vacation was an excellent day by almost all tangible measurement.

On Day 2 of my vacation, 1 of my major accomplishments was getting Willy and Derrick together and moving a tub.

We borrowed my uncle Butch’s truck and picked up the tub from Toby’s backyard. The tub used to be a planter and since it was raining all day, the dirt had turned into mud.

We picked up the tub and dumped all the dirt out of it. We took it to a carwash and sprayed it down. This resulted in my person being almost completely mud covered.

It was worth it, because now I have a sweet tub to use as a beverage trough for the barbecue and perhaps as a dog tub in the future.

Later that night Derrick, Jen and I went down to The Machine Shed for dinner. On the way down to Des Moines, Derrick dropped a little bomb on me.

He asked me if I had heard that Creighton was interested in hiring Greg McDermott.

Really?

It isn’t even my birthday… yet!

When me and my chums were in high school, we would spend a few choice nights of the Spring, Summer and Fall in my Mom’s backyard playing Homerun Derby with a big red bat and a plastic baseball.

Homerun Derby was a double elimination tournament that consisted of a series of 9 inning games between two opponents. Anything besides a homerun was an out.

While the other gladiators awaited their turn in the arena, they sat on my Mom’s deck munching on the goodness that is Casey’s pizza.

If memory serves me, I won the first Homerun Derby, but never again tasted the sweet nectar of victory.

While my booming blasts are the stuff of legend, (I’m certain that I once knocked a ball all the way to Carroll Street) Homerun Derby was more a game of precision.

There were numerous low hanging branches from the walnut tree and some of the neighbor’s trees that knocked down balls that were hit “too high”. Of course many a low line drive, that would have easily escaped the unfriendly confines of anywhere else in Bennett Field, were knocked harmlessly to the ground by the Green Monster in rightfield. Plus, towering above the Green Monster was a basketball backboard that knocked more than its fair share of dingers back into the outfield and turned the glory of going yard into just another out. Slightly more dramatic than a grounder back to the pitcher, but as far as the scoreboard was concerned, it was the same thing.

It was Willy’s sweet lefthanded stroke that usually won the night. His line drive swing seemed custom made to avoid the obstacles that brought many a hard hit shot harmlessly back to the ground inside the wooden fence that marked the playing field.

While it might seem like a juvenile enough activity, it was important enough to our ascent into manhood that when my Mom moved from the dilapidated structure on Greene Street to her current home on South Benton that we got as much of the old gang back together as we could and had a reunion Homerun Derby.

My legendary blasts were not enough for me to score a victory on my homefield. Willy’s sweet compact line drive swing failed him on this evening as well. Jay’s notoriously crafty pitching (that once earned him the moniker Dr. K) also couldn’t guide him to the winner’s circle. Jesse took home what might be the final Homerun Derby crown of our lives on that night.

It could even be said that Jesse’s performance in the ballpark, on that night, was in the ballpark of dominant. Bennett Field and Homerun Derby legend holds that you only get “Randy’s Meat” once a game, but on this night it seemed like Jesse was getting Randy’s Meat 10-12 times a game.

I don’t want you to leave this entry thinking that Homerun Derby wasn’t serious business. We even had our own set of trading cards, although I think only Jesse’s card survives. Although I just got a “great” idea for another Personal Photo Project.

Apparently Jay’s thought Jesse should spell his name like a girl.

Recently Faust and Jackson came over to what I guess is the current incarnation of Bennett Field. Less like Fenway and more like Wrigley. I went into the magical green trunk of sports equipment and produced a big red bat and some plastic baseballs.

I don’t know if Jesse is officially retired from Homerun Derby, but if he isn’t, I think Jackson might be coming for his title.

I don’t know if it is because the old champ could hear the smack of the bat or smell the pine tar in the air, but a few minutes after the Fausts left he showed up to have his picture taken.

These shirts were given to the winner and loser of the Computer Mine NCAA Tournament Pool.

Winner

No word yet on whether there will be a special Jackson vs. Jesse exhibition match in the future. I say clear off a cornfield halfway between Boone and Mankato and lets get this thing going!

“This is the end,

Beautiful friend,

This is the end,

Of our elaborate plans, the end,

Of everything that stands, the end,

No safety or surprise, the end.”

- The Doors (The End)

Another college basketball season has come to an end. It is a sad, sad day. At least it is only 11 days to Iowa State’s Spring Football Game. 11 long days!

The end of another college basketball season means it is time to crown the champion of year 6 of the Roundball Oracles tournament pool.

This is beginning to sound like a broken record, but a few years back Pat Riley was man enough to patent the word 3peat.  What he wasn’t man enough to do is actually 3peat. He came up woefully short in his attempt to win a 3rd straight championship.

Mark Wolfram is not Pat Riley. Mark Wolfram was man enough to be crowned the Roundball Oracles Champion for the 3rd straight year.  It was a little embarrassing when a guy living in Taiwan won the first time.  Even more embarrassing when he repeated last year. I’m not sure if there are words to express how embarrassing it is that he won for a third straight year.

Hopefully next year somebody will step up and snatch that crown off of his head.  Could be you! Could be me! Although I’ll have to rebound from an extremely pathetic performance this year. At least I finished third and won ten bucks in the pool at work.

The Final Standings

1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) - 81 points

2. Nader Parsaei (Charlie Chaplin) – 79 points

3. Dawn Krause (Dawn’s Dunkin’ Dribblers) – 75 points

4. Frank Meiners (Frank’s Picks) – 73 points

4. Corey Faust (Always Go Top Shelf) – 73 points

6. Dan Dill (dan) – 71 points

7. Jason Baier (JLB) – 70 points

8. Robert Henning (Shot In The Dark) – 67 points

9. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill Allstars) – 65 points

9. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) – 65 points

9. Linda Toot (JWB) – 65 points

12 – Derrick Gorshe (Derrick) – 63 points

13 – Jesse Howard (ISU Yes McDermott No) – 62 points

14 – Becky Perkovich (A169032477) – 61 points

15 – Corey Schmidt (TakeIt2ThaHole) – 58 points

15. Toby Sebring (Lickliter Is Out!) – 58 points

17. Russell Kennerly (i’m also transferring greg) 57 points

18. Christopher D. Bennett (I See Things) – 56 points

19. Jon DeWaard (Lono’s bracket) – 54 points

20. Bill Wentworth (Bill’s Bracket) – 53 points

21. Carrie Baier (Couragers) – 52 points

21 competitors was a new Roundball Oracles record for participants.  4 female competitors was a record for female competitors!

I am hopeful that next year, both of those records will be broken.

In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.

Have a look:

Living Room Changes

As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.

The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though.  Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.

Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!

If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”

If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”

I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”

Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.

After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.

Final NCAA Bracket Chance

Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: bennett@photography139.com and I will see that you get all the necessary information.