I had a housewarming/birthday shindig on May 23. I made individual invitations for those that were invited. I’d like to share some of them.

Willy

The Kahlers

Nader

Sara

Shannon

The Roberts Family

The Hiatts

The Howards

Jay

Jeff and Yin

The Gorshes

The Baiers

Bethany and Rebecca

Casy

The Degeneffes

Geri

Geri requested a new picture of us be taken because she wanted a picture where she wasn’t looking at me as if I was the smartest person in the world. I guess I never noticed her having an expression different than what I’m used to seeing by the majority of people in my life…

More pictures from paint prep night.

I got those green chairs from my Aunt Linda to with a sweet white table she was throwing away. Those chairs are surprisingly popular. That is also Shannon showing off her taping skills.

Carla painting the bathroom.

Life Lesson: When working on a ceiling fan, don’t ask for the fan to be turned on when your heads are still in the blades.

Eric dumping out a bucket.

Eric taping it up.

Willy, Jay, Me, Becky, Shannon and Alexis.

Alexis and Teresa washing walls.

Becky and Teresa in the basement.

Teresa and Becky priming the cupboard doors.

Becky on curtain duty.

A stack of cupboard doors.

Another health amount of work had been accomplished. The house was ready for painting day.

There are companies out there that archive the internet. I came across a website that has been attempting to archive the internet since 1996. Strangely enough, it had archived some of my old college website.

I present to you parts of my old college website to give hope to other people out there. I apparently was quite a douchebag back then, but I’m much better now.

Let’s start with the timeline I posted of the history of the “film company” my friends and I had when we were in college. To this date, we have really only ever finished 1 movie. I see no reason why that will change in the future.

The Cheesedick Films Timeline (I wish that I was making up that name.)

· 1991

• Stayin’ Alive: The Spurting script is written by Chris Bennett.
• Acting greats Eric Hiatt, Jesse Howard, Anders Runestad, Andrea Bargabos and dance sensation Bill Wentworth sign on to the project. Cheesedick Films is born.
• Town class cinematographer Andy Jacobson agrees to do the project. The Jacobson farm is picked as the set for film making history.
• Filming starts on movie about the classic battle between good and evil, starring Eric Hiatt as a baster wielding psychopath. Pitchfork fight and shower scenes are shot.
• Filming stops.

· 1992

• The leaders of the Cheesdick movement take the year off to explore their feelings.

· 1993

• Cheesedick founding members Chris Bennett, Eric Hiatt, and Jesse Howard are forced to go back to the movie making business by Charles Frederick Joseph Behm. They are joined by Kelly Wilson, Sean Clubine, and Chad Palmer in the making of a Robot documentary.
• Script is written and shooting begins.
• Laws are broken, people are offended, and shooting ends.
• Editing is completed and it plays to rave reviews.
• Idea for a relevant roundtable discussion show is hatched during a rousing round of Big Red Bat Homerun Derby. Nobody is positive if this surefire idea was hatched because of the camaraderie they felt while engaging in athletic competition, or if that was just the Casey’s Taco Pizza talking.
• Jay Janson makes an attempt to revive Stayin’ Alive: The Spurting but his attempts fail thanks to the treachery of Jesse Howard.
• Later that year, William MacAlpine and Corey Faust come into the Cheesedick Films family.
• In Your Face host Corey Faust leads a crack team on a mission of corporate sabotage. Corey attacks the world famous bear from WHO’s Beat the Bear in front of a group of helpless fans.
• Production starts on the first Cheesedick television show: In Your Face, with William MacAlpine as the Executive Producer, Corey Faust as the controversial show host, and Chris Bennett and Anders Runestad as the original guests. Alleged drug bust after shows first taping is diffused.

· 1994

• Jay Janson becomes a full time member of the Cheesedick family.
• Two short subjects are shot in one day. The first, The Death of Barney is the only creation of the Cheesedick library where a human character did not fall victim to man’s inhumanity to man. The second short, which remains untitled to this day, was a gripping morality play about what happens when you join a gang. This short contains the only scene where William McAlpine’s character dies.
• An action movie entitled Sworn to Vengeance is scripted and shooting begins but is halted after it is revealed that William McAlpine can’t roll a log down a hill.
• Early in the year In Your Face is taken off the air for creative retooling after the Peter Dragon Incident.
• An idea for a picture about the games people play with each other in every day life is hatched during a rousing game of Risk among Paul B. Golden, William McAlpine, and Chris Bennett.
• A documentary about three American men (Tim “the Dawg” Thornton, Corey Faust, and Chris Bennett) making a roadtrip to Hooters entitled Pilgrimage is shot in 2 days on a shoe string budget. Pilgrimage was praised for its used of eclectic camera angles that would later be copied by ESPN2 and various dance shoes.
• Plans for a giant rabbit movie are scrapped due to soaring budget costs. Financial backers pull out when Executive Producer Anders Runestad can’t keep the budget under the proposed $12.15.
• In Your Face triumphantly returned to the airwaves with the new set design by Executive Producer Jay Janson. Bill Wentworth joins the In Your Face team as the Associate Producer. Corey Faust returned as the controversial host and he brought Chris Bennett, Sir William MacAlpine (recently Knighted), and Jesse Howard with him as guests. The show once again ended in a firestorm after Chris Bennett and Jesse Howard walked off the show after a peanut butter—cream cheese blowup. Then Bill Wentworth walked off the show refusing to work with Scott Kendall. Corey Faust vowed to continue the show without them. The show has yet to return.

· 1995

• The script for Games is completed in three weeks, starring William MacAlpine, Anders Runestad, Chris Bennett, and Jay Janson as a last minute fill in for Paul Golden.
• Games is finished as a gripping suspense thriller that continues Cheesedick’s real to life filmmaking legacy. People start to wonder about the games that people play.

· 1996

• Jay Janson, William McAlpine, and Chris Bennett complete Gratuitous Violence which is a short about a group of people that value money over human dignity and human life.

· Coming Soon from Cheesedick Films

• The Best of Cheesedick: Real to Life Filmmaking.
• A Recap of Man’s Inhumanity to Man
• Stayin’ Alive: The Remake

Then I had a page where I wrote short snippets about my friends. Here is a sampling:

My “So-called” Friends

Remember George, no man is a failure who has friends.

—-Clarence the Angel

Lowell Davis

I believe that I met Lowell when we played for the Major Mets in the Boone Little League system. I used to bum rides from his parents to and from practice, and I guess Lowell was the first person I met that reminded me of myself. Or at least, how I was. We both had very conservative views, and both had very similar sense of humors where we took great pleasure in other people’s pain. We became friends fairly quick and we became locker partners throughout high school. However, around his junior year, Lowell started working at fast food restaurant that is sponsored by an evil clown. He graduated. He recently married Jamie Kay Pratt Williams and they are living happily ever after.

Dan Dill

Dan Dill is a story teller, the problem is that he is not a teller of STORIES.Our paths first crossed during Saturday morning basketball. We would play at 8 and he would be there at 7. He and Willy were the Saturday morning stars until I stepped onto the court. He looked at me and said, “What is this, some kind of joke?” However, I quickly showed him “what was up”. Dan is that guy that everybody knows: when he is single he tells everybody “How to handle a Woman”, but was domesticated rather quickly by his wife JoAnn. Dan was the last guy I ever thought would get married, but I think that he will make a great father to his son DJ.

Eric Hiatt

I believe I met Eric when I was in the ninth grade. The first thing I should point out is that Eric is the most talented musician I’ve ever met. Eric also has a very creative mind, but he also isn’t remotely normal. Eric probably could be a great sculptor or painter if he chose to be, but he has chosen to be a great percussionist. However, Eric has been misunderstood by most of his peers, thus he has had the rockiest road of us all. Eric chief interests are music, math, not holding a job, and education. Eric married Jennifer Waterbury. He joined the army, but now he is back and he is in the Christian speed metal band Shining Armor. Eric would like for it to be pointed out that he is an atheist and that he thinks the band name is less than stellar.

Paul Benjamin Golden

I met Paul about the same time I met Andy. Paul was the Baritone player in our local high school band. There’s not much to tell about Paul except that he and the truth have never been on very friendly terms and he likes to milk a joke for every last drop of humor it can get. Paul drives a Pontiac Sunbird and has a very good tenor voice. These two items must be related somehow. Paul’s hobbies include golf and bowling and he likes the musical Les Miserables. He was in the Des Moines Playhouse production of Guys and Dolls.

Corey Faust

So you’re curious about Corey Faust. Well, to look at Corey is to at first wonder why he isn’t down at the Greek House tapping the keg. However, once you get to know Corey you can only wonder, Why? I wouldn’t describe Corey as opinionated, but he does have opinions on subjects that people just don’t have a right to have an opinion on, such as citronella. This man just loves citronella!! I bet the man who invented citronella doesn’t have as much passion for citronella as Corey does. It’s a frigging bug repellent. What’s to care about? He also enjoys two games that I just can’t stand: golf and bowling. Yet, Corey is very easy to get along with and is very understanding and nonjudgmental person.

Monica Henning

Woodchuck, Monica, Monica, Woodchuck. Monica is one of the few people I know that hasn’t embraced the incredible medicinal powers of Woodchuck. She has gone so far as to write blasphemous messages in the dirt on my car about her hatred of Woodchuck. That’s alright, some of us fear Jagermeister as well. Other than that, Monica is just about the nicest person I know. She doesn’t get into your face about much except for her Astrology which she says is “so real its scary.” Sorry, Monica, but perception is in the eye of the beholder. If she’s not checking her horoscope, you can find her writing to the Bookmobile Man. Don’t ask, it’s a touchy subject.

Jesse Howard

In the Second Grade I moved from the Boonies to Urban Boone, which meant that I had to switch to the Page/Bryant school district. This is where I began my longest friendship with Jesse Howard. It all started in Mrs. Ford’s second grade classroom where we both got sick of hearing Paul Carstenson ramble on about how his dad takes him to their house on top of the clouds or hearing Terry Anderson tell stories about how his dad beats up ninjas. I’m not sure why we started hanging out with each other outside of school, unless it was mutually shared boredom. I really used to enjoy going over to Jesse’s because he had HBO and we could watch The Swamp Thing and he had an Atari 2600, WooHoo!!!. Then his dad (the greatest umpire to ever step onto a little league field) wouldn’t let me leave the breakfast table until I finished all of my milk, and it wasn’t so cool. Years later his dad came home drunk when we were there and told us that we were all “good guys” about a million times before passing out. Jesse recently was bound by the laws of marriage to Kelly Accuff. I had one of the greatest honors of my life bestowed upon me, when I was allowed to function in the capacity of Best Man in the ceremony. I’d always been the best man at every wedding I had attended, but somebody finally had the good sense to acknowledge it. I figured Jesse would get married though, he always listened to chick music.

Jay Janson

Jay Janson comes from Eastern Iowa, so he possesses one of those snotty Eastern attitudes where he thinks he better than us Central Iowa salt-of-the-earth-tyes. What he doesn’t realize is that his hometown of Cedar Rapids is a rotting cesspool and he was lucky to have gotten out of it when he did. For some apparent reason, he fancies himself to be quite a fighter, but only his pony tail and lack of acting talent resembles Steven Seagal. However, Jay is one sick, sadistic, brilliant artist. I met Jay in the 8th Grade, and my mom wanted to know why I was hanging out with this little kid. She couldn’t believe that he was a mere two months younger than me. A couple years later he moved back to Cedar Rapids and we kept up a correspondence that will one day be published in books of great literature. His chief interests are mixing drinks and finding things for a computer to do that other inventions have done since the turn of the century. P.S. He hates David Hume.

Scott Kendall

Well, what can I say about Scott “Buck” Kendall. Buck has never suffered from an excess of personality. During our high school days we had to constantly invent nicknames for him to give him some form of character. Buck was one of the first ones, but he was also known as the rabbit Slayer for the machete job he did on a couple of the cute little innocent fuzzy bunnies with his big powerful lawn mower. We also briefly recognized him as a minor (very minor) deity. He spent a summer as the God of Thirst. No man ever thirsted as much as he did, yet he constantly quenched it with the sugared mule urine known as Mountain Dew. Then he became the Wind Warrior for the surfing shirt he invariably wore, even though the closest ocean is about one thousand miles away. However, the surfing shirts were the crowning achievement of Scott’s fashion history. Before them was Rude Dog. Currently he owns 3 shirts: the Iowa Games shirt, his black and blue shirt, and that shirt that doesn’t suck too bad that Lynn picked out for him. Then Scott became the Toolbelt Man. Scott adopted this personality because his dad is the greatest carpenter since the one from Nazareth. Okay, maybe he is better. The man can build a sidewalk out of a 2 x 4 and some patience. Scott always claimed to be equal in the acts of woodworking with Papa, but we all knew better, mostly because Scott has managed to nail a board to his knee on a few occasions.

Anders Runestad

I met Andy Runestad probably when I was in the ninth grade. It was mostly over a dispute about whether or not Led Zeppelin was satanic or not. I don’t recall exactly what positions were held, but I’m sure that I was probably right. Our friendship blossomed when I began playing basketball every Saturday morning at 8. Andy was my ride there and we had plenty of time to get to know each other because after he picked me up, we had to wait 45 minutes for Lowell Davis to get ready. The thing we have most in common is our love for old movies and the Butthole Surfers. Andy is an English Graduate of Iowa State University and is currently employed by Computer Animation. He has yet to tie the knot, but he is one of the walking wounded and its only a matter of time before he and his girlfriend Carrie are bound by the laws of the State of Iowa.

William Wentworth

Bill is a man, I guess. I mean what do you call an individual with male reproductive organs, but won’t play tackle football. I met Bill when I was finally invited to play Saturday morning basketball. I would be walking through the hallways with my locker partner Lowell Davis when Bill would stop Lowell and inquire if they were still on for b-ball on Saturday. I was under the impression that Bill was some kind of great player considering how enthusiastic he was about it. Well, when I finally did play, let’s just say I wasn’t very impressed with what I saw. That doesn’t mean just Bill. They told me that we were just to pass the ball to William MacAlpine and Dan Dill and let them do the scoring. I told them that I didn’t come here to watch a game of basketball. Our contingent used to go over to Bill’s alot to watch movies or just to watch him hide his Guns’n'Roses albums from his parents. He used to drive a Ford Fairmont stationwagon, and we just beat that car into the grave. Bill attends Iowa State and majors in Journalism. His life pretty much revolves around comic books and the Chicago Bulls. His roommate is Scott Kendall.

Jeff Vickers

Jeff makes up exactly one half of the greatest paper towel football team to ever step on the field. I am that other half. What is paper towel football you may ask? Well it involves taking a roll of paper towels and covering it with tape. Then what you need is to get yourself a quarterback with a cannon for an arm and a receiver with hand like feathers but with a grip like a bear trap. If you put this together, call us. We’ll be ready to rumble. We still haven’t met the two person team that can play us to within 28. Jeff isn’t as popular as he could be: Why? He just doesn’t shut his mouth. He thinks he tells it like it is, and to some extent he does, but the truth will make you many enemies and very few friends. However, if you can stick it out, there is nothing better than a friend who thinks they tell the truth. When he doesn’t, I just take 3.8 seconds out of my busy schedule and beat him down marine style.

Sir William MacAlpine

If I have any friends that aren’t playing with a full “Go Fish” Deck, it’s Sir William MacAlpine of Leaf Road Manor. Willy, for one reason or another is obsessed with England and Scotland at the same time. I’ve tried to make him understand that the Scotch pretty much hate the English, but this seems to make no difference to Sir William. When he was in high school he looked like an army recruiting poster. His hair was invariably buzzed. Then when he made it into college, he just stopped shaving and getting haircuts. Now he looks like what Jesus would have looked like if Jesus would have been European. His chief interests are watching British comedies on Iowa Public Television, putting pennies on rolls of tape, and not going to class.

The moral of the story is that if you are heavily screwed up right now, there is still hope for you too.

Memorial Day wasn’t really meant to be a good-time-feel-good holiday. It was established to honor Union Soldiers that died in the Civil War and was first known as Decoration Day.

Regardless of its original intentions, this solemn holiday has become a chance for most Americans to barbecue and enjoy a 3 Day weekend. I’m not different than most Americans. I just wanted to have a good time on Memorial Day.

My day started out good enough. I watched 4 straight hours of Animal Planet with Alexis in the morning. Jay came over and we had tacos and nachos for lunch. Then we headed over to the Cinemark to catch a matinée of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull with Derrick.

+++SPOILERS+++

Usually I’m not the type of person that gives away spoilers about movies. I want people to see movies on their own, but this is one movie that I don’t feel the need to protect any of its secrets. This movies is a piece of garbage.

I’ve alway been a big fan of the Indiana Jones movies. Sure Temple of Doom blows a little bit, but the other 2 are excellent. Crystal Skull is an insult to all 3 of those movies.

I didn’t understand why so many Star Wars fans were upset with the prequels that came out a few years back. True, they weren’t very good, but the first 3 Star Wars movies stunk as well. What was the big deal? Instead of 3 movies with terrible acting and writing now you had 6 of them. Star Wars fans should have been elated.

I still don’t understand Star Wars fans, (there are certainly much, much better science fiction movies out there, I refer you to the two that Stanley Kubrick made 2001: A Space Odyssey and A Clockwork Orange just for starters) but now I can relate to them a bit. I’ve seen a movie franchise that I love torn to shreds before my very eyes.

On Sunday when we were driving down to The House of Bricks Willy told me that Crystal Skull was not very good. I told him that I could handle it if it wasn’t very good, but I would not be able to handle one thing. If they tried to set up a series of sequels starring Even Stevens, I would be angry. I would leave the theater in a rage.

I should have seen the warning signs. Even Willy would be the first to admit that I have much higher standards for movies than he does. The dude loves Van Damme movies!

Despite my bold proclamations, I left the theater angry. In fact, I haven’t been this angry leaving the theater since I sat through the misogynistic propaganda piece masquerading as entertainment known as Sin City. I was madder than when I left the theater after Transformers. Another example of taking something I loved from my childhood and making it suck. Incidentally also starring Even Stevens.

The one good thing I can say about Crystal Skull is that they didn’t end the movie by setting up sequels for Even Stevens. They came close. They made you think that is what they were going to do. At the end of the movie Indy’s hat blows off a hat rack and rolls to a stop at Even Stevens’ feet. As he bends over to pick up the hat, Indy picks it up before him and puts it on his head. Me physically vomiting in the aisles was averted.

I suppose that I don’t have time to write on all the things I hated about this movie, because there are so many of them. I’ll try to keep it to just two.

ALIENS!!!!

Are you kidding me? Could Lucas and Spielberg not turn the last Indiana Jones movie into a science fiction movie? I now fully expect that the next Spielberg WWII movie to involve aliens in some way, shape or form.

CGI!!!

CGI has already, for the most part, ruined most summer movies. It was as if they had missed the point of the first three movies. They were an homage to old time serial movies and they were done with trick photography and stuntmen. Crystal Skull is an homage to the other 3 movies basically, only with way too much CGI. I should have known it was coming when the first shot of the movie features a CGI prairie dog.

My day was ruined from that point on and I don’t think that there was much that could have happened to turn my day around.

+++SPOILERS OVER+++

My day did turn around though. I headed out to Roland for Monica’s barbecue. The only low point of the barbecue was having Happy Birthday sang to me for the third time in 8 days. I’m glad I won’t have to hear that again for some time. Although Monica did make me a sweet Jello birthday cake.

I don’t really like getting presents all that much. Unless it is something the person has made, like a sweet painting or piece of stained glass or cake or rhubarb pie or a card.

Teresa sent me this birthday card.

Front

Inside

Back

There is the occasional exception. Sara got me this sweet gift:

The camera is 30 years old and still is in its original box. This will look great on my shelf of old cameras.

I went over to Suzie and Eric’s for T Night. I was pretty sure that the night would conclude with Suzie conceding that she was too far behind in the race for Monica’s Friend of the Year 2008 that she should just do the gracious thing and bow out of the race.

Instead the night concluded with a rousing round of video games. I have not played a video game in multiple years, but if you look at the pictures below, you might find some photographic evidence of an event that might not repeat its self for several years. I believe the game in which we were engaged is called Rock Band.

Monica

The Band

Rock Band Cat

The Band

Jeff

We ripped up some Nirvana, Oasis and Radiohead.

In my inbox at work today I found a couple new samples from the game that Eric and Suzie are inventing.

Metal Bull

Fire Tiger

They aren’t exactly as cool as a rat, but I still think that they are pretty cool.

I don’t know anything about the world of gaming, but Eric and Suzie are inventing a new board game. I have no doubt that they will do a bang up job in the creation of this game because it is something that they both hold a passion for and nothing in this world helps you see with more clarity than passion. Not even bifocals. Take that Ben Franklin!

I was privileged to view the initial piece of art from their game. I think it is pretty sweet, check it out:

Wood Rat

Suzie even composed a little poem to celebrate my unshackling from the US Department of Education’s oar.

Paying less means spending more.
And sometimes knowledge seekers
can become the debtors’ whore.

It seems as if I am suddenly surrounded by poets and that is a good thing because I admire poets. I only wish I could be one.

Incidentally, anybody that knows a reason why I’m not worthy of a poetic tribute should keep said information to themselves. Things will correct themselves in due course. I will be worthy of poetic tributes in the future.

Over the last week I have had to face a couple of hard truths. The first truth is that the Pope isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Or perhaps I’m wrong and during this time of religious bickering, it was a smart thing to piss off Jews and Protestants and unify them against him and the Catholic Church.

The second truth I’ve had to face is that I’m not going to finish my 14 part blog. Or at least not any time soon. So I’m going to break the silence on the things of done since May 19th. So these are the things I’ve done since that day, in no particular order:

I’ve went to the following movies:

Pirates 3 – Very disappointing ending.

Oceans 13 – Better than Oceans 12, but what wasn’t?

Ratatouille – Easily the best movie of the year thus far.

A Mighty Heart – Not as good as I had hoped.

Waitress – Also not as good as I had hoped and the doctor gets off way too easily.

Transformers – Easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. What passes for wit in this loserfest is the racial stereotype transformer tells Megatron “You want a piece of me?” Megatron rips the racial stereotype Autobot in half and says “No, I want two pieces.” This movie is even bad by Michael Bay standards.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – A lot more fulfilling if you have read the book, other wise many sequences are just confusing.

I talked to and shook hands with Barack Obama and told him about my job.

I helped set a sales record for Little White Lye Soap.

Walked a few laps with Willy at Relay for Life. He walked 31 miles.

Went to the 2nd oldest restaurant in Iowa (Stone’s) with Jay.

Had lunch with Faust in Mankato.

Visited the National Hobo Museum.

Took pictures of flowers.

Saw Buddy Guy in concert with Derrick and Jen.

Turned in my photo entries for the State Fair.

Attended a birthday party for Jen.

Took the Henning family picture.

Watched K-Dawg’s team get smoked by Jefferson in the Little League tournament one day and come back to do the smoking a few days later to advance to the state tournament.

Took Jesse to the emergency room.

Bought a sweet new monitor for my home computer. (I’m not normally one to brag about my consumer tendencies, but I really love this monitor.)

Watched Killdeer lay on eggs and the eggs hatch a few days later.

Went to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Brian Beavers.

Saw the world’s largest strawberry.

Saw the world’s largest bullhead.

Saw the Jolly Green Giant.

Despite have to walk a half mile due to a guy’s gastronomical difficulties, watched Willy complete the 5K at Midnight Madness.

Had lunch with Mark before he returns to Taiwan.

Went to Backbone State Park with Shannon.

Helped Stephanie pick out a camera for work.

Went to the State Center Rose Garden with Jay.

Attempted and failed to make Mentos/Diet Coke rockets with Eric.

Took pictures of the “844″.

Enjoyed several Friday Night Supper Clubs with Jay and Willy.

Enjoyed several New Taste Tuesdays with Frank, Jesse, and Steve.

Went to the Company picnic. Seemed like people were actually excited to see me.

Drove to Minnesota to see Nate and watch Harry Potter.

Watched a slide show of pictures from Willy’s trip to Spain.

Attended a pretty sweet Memorial Day barbecue.

Set up a new squirrel feeder and two new bird feeders.

Changed the oil in my car. (personal reminder, change oil again at 161,000 miles)

Helped make soap.

It is most likely I did more than that, but that is all that comed to my head at this time, with one exception. One major exception.

I went to the Des Moines Arts Festival with Rebecca and Jay. I would have to say first and foremost, what a dog that was. What a major disappointment.

However, it did inspire me to put together the blog that I will hopefully post on the morrow. I can’t say that it is a good blog. In fact, it is probably the type of blog that makes one lose friends and gain enemies. It is the type of blog that may make people stop returning my e-mails or phone calls. The type of blog that may make people move to the other side of the street if they see me walking down the street. It frankly might be a subject that will make some people uncomfortable. Yet, that is for tomorrow.

What this entry lacks in substance it makes up for in size.  

Just a few things to get off my chest, including some random pictures without a description. 

A couple of weeks ago the American Film Institute released their list of the 100 best American movies of all time. The thing that pleased me most about the list was the removal of “Dances with Wolves”. However, this is not a complete endorsement of the list, but just an opportunity to make my own list, in no particular order. Let us start with AFI’s list:  

RANK/FILM/1997/CHANGE 

1. CITIZEN KANE 1 0
2. GODFATHER, THE 3 1
3. CASABLANCA 2 -1
4. RAGING BULL 24 20
5. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN 10 5
6. GONE WITH THE WIND 4 -2
7. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA 5 -2
8. SCHINDLER’S LIST 9 1
9. VERTIGO 61 52
10. WIZARD OF OZ, THE 6 -4
11. CITY LIGHTS 76 65
12. SEARCHERS, THE 96 84
13. STAR WARS 15 2
14. PSYCHO 18 4
15. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY 22 7
16. SUNSET BLVD. 12 -4
17. GRADUATE, THE 7 -10
18. GENERAL, THE N/A
19. ON THE WATERFRONT 8 -11
20. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE 11 -9
21. CHINATOWN 19 -2
22. SOME LIKE IT HOT 14 -8
23. GRAPES OF WRATH, THE 21 -2
24. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL 25 1
25. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD 34 9
26. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON 29 3
27. HIGH NOON 33 6
28. ALL ABOUT EVE 16 -12
29. DOUBLE INDEMNITY 38 9
30. APOCALYPSE NOW 28 -2
31. MALTESE FALCON, THE 23 -8
32. GODFATHER PART II, THE 32 0
33. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST 20 -13
34. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS 49 15
35. ANNIE HALL 31 -4
36. BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI, THE 13 -23
37. BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES, THE 37 0
38. TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE, THE 30 -8
39. DR. STRANGELOVE 26 -13
40. SOUND OF MUSIC, THE 55 15
41. KING KONG 43 2
42. BONNIE AND CLYDE 27 -15
43. MIDNIGHT COWBOY 36 -7
44. PHILADELPHIA STORY, THE 51 7
45. SHANE 69 24
46. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT 35 -11
47. STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, A 45 -2
48. REAR WINDOW 42 -6
49. INTOLERANCE N/A
50. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, THE N/A
51. WEST SIDE STORY 41 -10
52. TAXI DRIVER 47 -5
53. DEER HUNTER, THE 79 26
54. M*A*S*H 56 2
55. NORTH BY NORTHWEST 40 -15
56. JAWS 48 -8
57. ROCKY 78 21
58. GOLD RUSH, THE 74 16
59. NASHVILLE N/A
60. DUCK SOUP 85 25
61. SULLIVAN’S TRAVELS N/A
62. AMERICAN GRAFFITI 77 15
63. CABARET N/A
64. NETWORK 66 2
65. AFRICAN QUEEN, THE 17 -48
66. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK 60 -6
67. WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? N/A
68. UNFORGIVEN 98 30
69. TOOTSIE 62 -7
70. CLOCKWORK ORANGE, A 46 -24
71. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN N/A
72. SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, THE N/A
73. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID 50 -23
74. SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, THE 65 -9
75. IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT N/A
76. FORREST GUMP 71 -5
77. ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN N/A
78. MODERN TIMES 81 3
79. WILD BUNCH, THE 80 1
80. APARTMENT, THE 93 13
81. SPARTACUS N/A
82. SUNRISE N/A
83. TITANIC N/A
84. EASY RIDER 88 4
85. NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A N/A
86. PLATOON 83 -3
87. 12 ANGRY MEN N/A
88. BRINGING UP BABY 97 9
89. SIXTH SENSE, THE N/A
90. SWING TIME N/A
91. SOPHIE’S CHOICE N/A
92. GOODFELLAS 94 2
93. FRENCH CONNECTION, THE 70 -23
94. PULP FICTION 95 1
95. LAST PICTURE SHOW, THE N/A
96. DO THE RIGHT THING N/A
97. BLADE RUNNER N/A
98. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY 100 2
99. TOY STORY N/A
100. BEN-HUR 72 -28 

1. The Searchers
2. The General
3. Bonnie and Clyde
4. Intolerance
5. Nashville
6. Duck Soup
7. Cabaret
8. Tootsie
9. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
10. All the President’s Men
11. Sunrise
12. Easy Rider
13. Swing Time
14. Sophie’s Choice
15. Yankee Doodle Dandy 

I assume that these are decent movies, but I don’t wish to talk about movies I haven’t seen. 

The next step is to eliminate the movies that don’t belong on the list: 

1. Star Wars – If you remove the iconic score from this movie, it compares unfavorably with “Ice Pirates”.
2. E.T. – A childhood movie that didn’t age well.
3. Annie Hall – I’m so glad I’m not from New York so that I don’t have to pretend that Woody Allen is funny.
4. Shane – Keep riding Shane, don’t come back to a tragically bad child actor.
5. Lord of the Rings – Okay, but nothing particularly special.
6. The Deer Hunter – Who knew a movie with DeNiro and Walken could be so boring?
7. M*A*S*H – This movie is so overrated that it makes the television show look not overrated. Even the the television show is actually overrated as well.
8. The African Queen – Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn and it still just isn’t very good.
9. The Wild Bunch – Landmark cinematic achievement for violence, but that is about all you can say about it.
10. Platoon – Pales in comparison to other Vietnam movies.
11. Bringing Up Baby – Cary Grant as a nerd? I’m not buying it.
12. Pulp Fiction – If Tarantino was any more overrated, he would be his buddy Rodriguez.
13. American Graffiti – Proof that George Lucas can be overrated in more than one genre.
14. Shawshank Redemption – A good movie, but not one of the 100 best.
15. Spartacus – It hurts for me to put this on the list, but this was not one of Kubrick’s best efforts. 

So this leaves 30 slots to fill. Wow, that suddenly sounds like a lot of slots to fill. Lets see what I can come up with: 

1. Alien (1979) – Simply one of the best science fiction and horror movies ever made.
2. Beauty and the Beast – Still perhaps the best animated film of all time.
3. Braveheart (1995) – Most likely left of the list because of Mel Gibson’s most recent run ins with antisemitism.
4. The Breakfast Club (1985) – One of the most beautifully crafted screenplays of all-time. Doesn’t get its due because it is a teenager movie.
5. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) – Over 50 years old and the social commentary is as relevant as ever.
6. Gladiator (2000) – Ridley Scott at his best and making me wonder how he can even be related to Tony Scott.
7. Glory (1989) – Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington together. That is all you really need to say.
8. Good Will Hunting (1997) – Proof that Ben Affleck was good for something.
9. The Hustler (1961) – Proof that Paul Newman is the coolest human to ever live.
10. Inherit the Wind – Spencer Tracy vs. Frederic March. One of the greatest plays of the 20th Century.
11. L.A. Confidential (1997) – Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, and Kevin Spacey. That is casting.
12. The Manchurian Candidate (1962) – Simply brilliant.
13. Marty (1955) – I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a movie that nails the friendships of single men better.
14. Memento (2001) – Every night before I go to bed I pray that Christopher Nolan doesn’t throw away his talent making Batman movies.
15. My Fair Lady (1964) – Slightly sexist ending, but this is Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn at their best.
16. The Night of the Hunter (1955) – During WWII my grandpa shared a bunk with Robert Mitchum. My grandpa hated Mitchum because he was such a “lazy bastard”. That being said, he is perfect as the embodiment of evil in this movie.
17. Night of the Living Dead (1968) – Remember when horror movies could be intelligent and filled with social commentary? Doesn’t seem like Hollywood does either.
18. The Ox-Bow Incident (1943) – If you love Henry Fonda in “The Grapes of Wrath” (which if you want to continue to be my friend, you do), you need to check him out in this movie about a lynch mob.
19. Paths of Glory (1957) – Kubrick and Kirk Douglas at their best. Watching this movie will do more for cultivating your anti-war sentiment than all the listenings to “Give Peace a Chance” you can muster into one day.
20. Planet of the Apes (1968) – Second best surprise ending in movie history.
21. A Raisin in the Sun (1961) – You ever been in a poor family and had to worry about money? Then you can relate to every second of this movie.
22. Rushmore (1998) – Sometimes it is hard to swallow that Wes Anderson would go on to make “The Life Aquatic” after making the most original comedy of the last 30 years.
23. Shadow of a Doubt (1943) – Playwright Thornton Wilder teaming up with Alfred Hitchcock. Throw in Joseph Cotton and Teresa Wright, what else could you possibly need?
24. Stand by Me (1986) – Who would have thought that the fat kid would go on to have the most successful career?
25. The Sweet Smell of Success (1957) – Perhaps the most clever dialogue ever put together in a film.
26. Touch of Evil (1958) – It saddens me to think of all the other masterpieces Orson Welles could have put together if the studios would have just gotten the hell out of his way.
27. The Usual Suspects (1995) – Proof that even if a movie has a Baldwin brother in it, it still might be worth watching.
28. Reservoir Dogs – Tarantino without a budget. He actually was as good as they say at one time.
29. Harvey (1950) – If you can’t love a movie with Jimmy Stewart and an invisible rabbit, then I don’t know what type of person you are.
30. The Exorcist (1973) – This movie is madness and I love every second of it. 

That pretty much takes care of my list. 

RATATOUILLE 

That being noted, I can’t guarantee that it will entertain children. It might have been too adult in the storyline for some small children to maintain their interest. It is worth the risk though. 

A VIDEO 

My friend James sent me this video. I’m not telling you how to think or act politically, but I do support my friends and the causes they support. So enjoy this small video about the Matthew Shepard Act. 

If you want to take action to help support the Matthew Shepard Act, click on the link below: 
The Human Rights Campaign 

All that is left for this little outburst is to share some pictures from my recent travels. Once again, there is no commentary because I will not write about my adventures until I finish the 14 Chapter blog on the events of May 9 –May 19. A new chapter might be coming this way soon. Here are some random pictures for you to figure out on your own. I will let you know this much, some of these travels were only as far as a few feet out the backdoor.