14 thoughts on “Butane in My Veins”

  1. I have a pretty firm no hats, wigs, clothes, or costumes policy when it comes to animals.

    I want to punch people in the face when I see costumes on their dogs. Especially if they also use the term fur babies.

  2. A little piece of me dies when I read “fur babies.” It’s just so asinine.

    I definitely agree with not costuming pets. I adore my grandparents, but they used to put raincoats on the dogs… who clearly did not appreciate the gesture.

  3. Bob and Darlene… if they think one of their dogs might have coughed, they stay home from church.

    I love those guys!

  4. I usually have to laugh, although I was less amused when Grandpa missed Alice’s baptism and first birthday so as not to leave the dogs alone for two hours. Usually, though, it’s pure comedy.

  5. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard what your grandpa thinks is wrong with Paul Rhoads every Sunday the last two seasons.

    Surprisingly the answer isn’t, he doesn’t love the Impecoven Dogs enough.

  6. …Until basketball season, at which time he will resume explaining why he doesn’t like X player or thinks he’s lazy. I do worry that some of these are latently based in racial stereotypes of the 1940s, but I just stop listening.

  7. After every Iowa State defeat, he asks if he can buy my tickets for $10. This is always the lead-in to his Paul Rhoads theory.

    Although for awhile, he was about the only person at church that would talk Iowa State with me and know anything about anything. But I recently discovered another guy from the church.

    But Bob is one of my favorites. Although recently at a Methodist Men meeting we were discussing donating $1000 dollars to the Youth Group Mission Trip and he didn’t vote against it, but he argued to not tell them about it because if the kids knew it was there, they wouldn’t go out and fundraise on their own.

    Which is ludicrous because although a $1000 isn’t a small sum of money, it is only a small dent it what it takes to finance the mission trip. It takes over $500 a kid and 15 or so kids go.

    That doesn’t even include other ancillary expenses.

    Any way, I told our Youth Leader and Pastor immediately that the money was there.

    Somehow Bob and I talk less about basketball, but I do get your sense of perhaps there being some generational racism there. Usually I feel I see that in that generation of folks when they seem to be overly easy with their praise of the white kid on the team.

  8. The money thing doesn’t super surprise me – either not wanting to give money to the youth group or trying to lowball you on your tickets. My grandpa does just fine, but he tries to scam free food from a guy who used to be his student who works in the food tents at every game. He’ll go to Thiessens before a bball game to get free popcorn – no other reason. I adore him because of these quirks, but it sometimes leaves me a little aghast.

    Hopefully Grandpa and that other dude have found each other and can also talk basketball. The generational racism bothers me, and I try to gently correct it, but I’m fighting lifelong, deeply-instilled things that were taken as a “given.” It’s awfully hard to fight that.

  9. He actually isn’t trying to buy the ticket from me. It is just his way of putting down Iowa State. Their tickets are only worth $10.

    Your grandpa can’t have the other dude! The other dude is sensible. He is my Iowa State church buddy!

    There is some types of generational racism that you just kind of have to accept I think. Mostly because they are things that they have no clue are racist. Like using the word “Oriental” to describe Asians.

  10. The popcorn things is awesome! I love that!

    That takes sneaking treats into the movie theater up a level!

  11. Grandpa probably could not be accused of being sensible about ISU. I don’t know what he expects, but it’s clearly more than we’ve gotten as of late. I’m not sure what he thought of Hoiberg until the end, honestly.

    From living in Arizona for so long, he has a lot of latent comments toward Mormons, too – which is not racism, but still prejudiced.

    I just shake my head about the popcorn. Only Grandpa.

  12. Gave Bob a ride home from church yesterday. Got to hear some track stories.

    I’m pretty sure he needed the ride home because Darlene had to get home to let the dogs out of the cage.

    Found out that breakfast is his favorite meal of the day.

  13. I would wager money on that being why he needed a ride.

    Ah, track. Together with ISU and the dogs, you’ve hit the triumvirate of Grandpa’s favorite topics! (I’d say “pet topics,’ but that is a little too on-the-nose.)

    You should go to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet with him sometime. It is a remarkable sight. Him and Grandma eat enough that they must not need to eat for a week afterwards.

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