In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.
Have a look:
Living Room Changes
As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.
The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though. Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.
Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!
If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”
If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”
I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”
Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.
After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.
Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.
Final NCAA Bracket Chance
Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will see that you get all the necessary information.