On Saturday I took a small road trip west of Boone to collect some more signs for the TOWN SIGN PROJECT. Here is what I got:
Grand Junction, Iowa
Full disclosure, the Alleman sign picture wasn’t taken on Saturday. It was taken a long time ago and I never posted it.
Ogden has no affiliation with Thornton Wilder. (I’m hoping at least one person is sitting at their computer and giving that joke a slow clap. I’m hoping at least two people are Googling Thornton Wilder right now.)
If you had ever been to Beaver, you would know why they lack the civic pride to put up a real sign. Which is kind of sad because you could do a million fun signs with a name like Beaver. I have it on good authority that trains have to slow down when passing through Beaver, otherwise the 2 buildings in town that haven’t fall over… will fall over. After my post last week comparing Garden City’s creepy horror movie vibe to Beaver’s I was approached by Michelle and Elizabeth. Michelle badly wants to visit Beaver. Even after I shared with her some of the horrifying images from my old photo project “The Beaver Machete Massacre”, she still wants to visit it. Elizabeth has actually been to Beaver, but the trip scared her children badly. They continue to have nightmares and their future therapy bills will be monstrous. While I was in Beaver, I did have a truck follow me around the town. Maybe the Beaver sign should read:
“Beaver, You’re Not Welcome – The Opposite of Small Town Hospitality”
Out of this collection I like Grand Junctions sign the most. Jefferson’s the least. Jefferson is obviously missing a golden opportunity by not having a picture of their fuzz blasting cats. I suppose now that they aren’t going all Rambo on their feral cat population, it is a lost opportunity.
But imagine a picture of Clint Eastwood holding a .44 Magnum on a criminal cat. Then the words over it:
“Welcome to Jefferson – Go Ahead. Make Our Day”
I was actually impressed by Churdan. They had quite a bit of photogenic things in that little town.
Paton has a nice and boring “Welcome to Paton” next to their “business district”. It has a scrolling message board and everything. Boring.
Dana is what Beaver should strive to be, if Beaver had any kind of pride at all. I mean any pride at all!