I love the songs I hated when I was young
Because they take me back where I come from
When every broken heart seemed like the end
When everyone was someone different then
But I can’t be alone in a crowded room
Where my thoughts, they run like water down a flume
There are days when I will let the darkness rise
I don’t always choose to stay on the sunny side
Yes, my life has seen some wasted time
I have suffered for the peace inside my mind
And some things are better left unsaid
While some things work out different when they’re in your head
But I’m not sorry for the things I say
Sometimes I let my mouth just run away
And I believe that all souls are born kind
And that all love lost comes back in time
And even if the world is really round
And all the maps are painted upside down
So if you stand in one place for too long
Everything around you will be gone
Well, I’m not gonna miss you when I go
Now the part of me that’s left wants you to know
That I’m not gonna jump towards the light
The one to believe choose the night
Sometimes I pretend we never met (ooh)
Because it’s harder to forgive than to forget
Sometimes it’s harder to forgive
This is the second to last song title I’m going use as a journal entry title from Brandi’s 2018 album “By the Way, I Forgive You”. Obviously the theme of the album is forgiveness and it spawns from Brandi’s forgiveness of a Pastor.
She said this in a NPR interview:
Well,(forgiveness) it kind of appeared out of my record, and my writing process, like a sculpture would appear when you take the pieces of stone away that don’t belong: I didn’t realize that that’s what I was writing about until I was looking back on it. But it’s a word that I think is kind of evangelicalized … or glossed over by kind of a “hashtag blessed” way of looking at it. It’s a really radical and ugly, difficult process that, you know, great beauty comes from.
She took to social media to write about the pastor and to urge people to share their stories about forgiveness. This is what she wrote:
I forgive you for deciding not to baptize me when I was a teenager for being gay.
It was not so much that you wouldn’t or couldn’t do it because of the tenants put in place by the baptist rules and traditions, but because you waited until all my family and friends were present and waiting in the pews for the ceremony.
I don’t believe you did it to humiliate me – I think you struggled with the decision and simply ran out of time… I think you probably still do struggle with it.
I’d like you to know that I still love you and that I understand we’re all on a journey together, trying our best to walk through the world with honor and dignity – but what I want you to know most of all is that you did not damage my faith. Not in god, not in humanity and not in myself.
The experience inspired me to help other gay kids and my spiritual LGBTQ brothers and sisters come to terms with the disappointments they’ve endured on the rugged road to peace and acceptance. I think you’d appreciate that process.
You’ve helped far more people than you’ve hurt and you helped me too.
I admire Brandi for her forgiveness and for not letting this pastor damage her faith in god, humanity or herself. It is easier to say you forgive than it is to actually forgive and that is another reason I admire Brandi.
But enough on forgiveness. I need to share some flower pictures, since Thursdays are for flowers and if I don’t share some flowertography some you may not forgive me. Others won’t forgive me because I will share flowertography. I forgive those people too.
These flower pictures were taken of the red bud trees in Red Haw State Park near Chariton. I’m sharing more than usual, so buckle up:
I don’t know if anybody else experiences this or this is a failing that is exclusive to me, but on occasion I’m photographing a place this is just so naturally beautiful, but I get the feeling I’m absolutely failing to remotely do it justice in any way shape or form. This is one of those times.
Sometimes I get back home and start scrolling through the pictures on the big screen and that feeling wins. I didn’t do it justice. This wasn’t one of those times. I’m actually pleased with these images. Even if I am danger of breaking an arm to pat myself on my back.
Red Haw State Park was hit by a tornado in 2022. You can definitely tell it was hit pretty hard as there are so many trees gone and parts of the park that still aren’t open. I can only imagine how beautiful it was before the tornado.
The next collection of flower images will come from flowers in my yard.