Vacation Day 5 – The Juicy Lucy

On Wednesday morning I woke up and most of my anger about the Fred Hoiberg hire had dissipated. I had come to accept the fact that while this was mostly a public relations move, there is a chance that it could work. I’m not saying that this is an uncontested breakaway slam dunk. This is more like a turnaround fadeaway with a 7 footer in your face from the baseline.

While it is scary that he will be learning on the job, there is a potential huge upside. He should be able to recruit and he should be able to evaluate talent. 95% of basketball games are won by the team with the more talented players.

I also assume that since Hoiberg has years of NBA experience he will be able to relate to the younger, more talented players and the great exodus of talent from Ames will finally come to an end. Any Biblical scholar can tell you that after the exodus ends it is only a matter of time before the years of wandering in the desert comes to an end.

Even though we will only return 5 scholarship players from last year, I still feel that we will have a better record next year. I’m not sure why I have this optimism, but I have come to peace with the Hoiberg hiring. On Wednesday morning I accepted that it might just work. After all, Hoiberg is a graduate of the nation’s premier land grant university. That fact alone qualifies him for about any job that I can name!

After coming to that conclusion, I got out of bed and took a shower. After Nate woke up we went to Puffy Cream for breakfast. It was excellent, again.

I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stick around, so I contacted Jill about getting supper. She wasn’t sure when she would get off work because her company was enforcing mandatory overtime, even though it wasn’t even Georgia-Texas week.

Eventually it worked out and we agreed to meet at The 5-8 Club at 6:30.

I don’t watch lots of television. I’m always leery of saying that because I don’t want to come off as one of those snobby people who don’t own a television and feel that this gives them a degree of superiority to other people. I can’t stand those people. I’m better than those people.

That being written, I really don’t watch much television. Of the shows that are currently being broadcast on network television, I’ve probably seen a single episode of maybe 10 shows. But on this day, I spent a good portion of the day sitting on the couch watching tv with Nate.

We watched two episodes of The West Wing. Then we watched the show Parenthood. Then we watched the movie Parenthood. Then at about 3 o’clock when Nate was leaving for work, Becca woke up and I watched television with her. We watched local news and she lectured me on why I should watch BBC news because it wasn’t “biased”. I thought this was funny because I once wrote a paper on media bias when I was in college.

At 6:30 I met Jill at The 5-8 Club in Minneapolis. When I was in Minnesota in February I ate at Matt’s Bar with Jim and Bethany. Matt’s Bar and The 5-8 Club both claim to have invented the Juicy Lucy. I was happy that I was going to be able to have both sandwiches so I could determine which one I consider to be the superior burger.

The 5-8 Club
The 5-8 Club

The 5-8 Club was set up a little bit weird. It wasn’t a huge restaurant, but it was of a decent size, but the weird part about it was that you sat yourself. I don’t think that I’ve been in a restaurant this large where you sat yourself.

The place was packed, but there wasn’t a line and a couple of people left as we entered the building, so we were able to get a seat immediately.

I was pretty hungry since all I had eaten on the day was a couple of donuts and some leftover walleye from Houlihan’s. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true. Becca fed me some food that she had bought at Trader Joe’s. A place that Becca is very passionate about. Regardless, I was still hungry.

We ordered mushrooms for an appetizer and I’m not sure if this was a mistake or how they do things, but rather than ranch dressing it came with bleu cheese dressing. I’m not a fan of bleu cheese dressing and this has lead to many a discordant evening with me and Jesse at our favorite wings eating places across central Iowa. However, their bleu cheese dressing was fairly good. It didn’t make me instantly want to vomit like most bleu cheese dressing.

I orderd The Juicy Luicy:

By far our most popular menu item, the Juicy Lucy is a mouth-watering half pound burger stuffed with American cheese. The cheese is HOT – be careful and take your time. Bleu, pepper or Swiss cheese is also available. The wait’s a little bit longer; but we promise it’ll be worth it!

Jill ordered The Saucy Sally:

Lucy’s little sister. Born on May 8, 2005. She making her public debut! A half pound burger stuffed with our secret sauce, and topped with American cheese, shredded lettuce, raw onions, and a smear of Thousand Island Dressing. Make sure you have plenty of napkins.

While Jill was explaining to me her theory on why she is an evolved being, the people sitting in the booth next to ours stopped her. They apologized for eavesdropping on our conversation and then made commentary on why they agreed with Jill’s theory on highly evolved human being.


Have your own conversation people! I understand that we are probably more fascinating and interesting than you are and it must be hard not to eavesdrop on us, but at least try to have your own conversation.

After we had ate as much food as we could, we waited patiently for our bill. This was the type of joint where you pay the waitress, but our waitress had disappeared. In fact, I didn’t see any waitress. We probably waited for a good 20 minutes before the waitress showed up and said:

“You guys probably want to go home.”

Then a few minutes later she showed up with the bill.

I gave her my Bank of the Bear card. She took it and when she came back to give me the bill she handed me somebody else’s credit card. After hopefully getting the finances of the evening squared away I’m ready to make this proclamation:

Matt’s Bar serves the superior Ju(i)cy Lucy. The 5-8 Club wasn’t bad and I would certainly go back, but Matt’s is superior. At some point I might have to go back to try the Saucy Sally.

After the meal I bid Jill a fond adieu and hit the open road back to the Cyclone State. It was a pretty great 3 days in Minnesota.

2 thoughts on “Vacation Day 5 – The Juicy Lucy”

  1. I love that you thought of all of that before even getting out of bed.

    The list of things that kind of grosses/creeps me out is fairly long (and you know that I’m a really picky eater) – but bleu cheese dressing is on that list. Not quite as high as thousand island dressing (which is just ketchup and some other junk, from what I understand), but it’s up there. Wings and salad need the fresh, crisp smoothness of ranch – not the lumpy monstrosity that is bleu cheese.

  2. Back when I was enslaved to the Evil Clown Empire Rick Poore and I were members of The Truck Team. We would spend time trying to gross the other person out.

    The thing I could do that he couldn’t do was eat a raw egg.
    The thing he could do that I couldn’t do was down a package of bleu cheese dressing.

    I managed to do it 1 time, but I instantly developed a terrible headache and was sick the rest of the day.

    However, I do love thousand island dressing. Not on salads strangely enough. I really will only eat ranch and French dressing on salads. Okay, I’m actually also a huge fan of Dorothy Lynch salad dressing.

    However, I think thousand island dressing is a very important sandwich condiment. Be it burgers or reubens.

    Here is a random recipe for thousand island dressing:

    1/2 cup mayonnaise
    2 tablespoons ketchup
    1 tablespoon white vinegar
    2 teaspoons sugar
    2 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
    1 teaspoon finely minced white onion
    1/8 teaspoon salt
    dash of black pepper

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