Category Archives: Road Trip

Kentucky FAQ

It is time to answer the most common questions I have received about my trip to Kentucky:

What in Heaven would ever possess somebody to go to Kentucky, even for a visit?

Teresa’s significant other Ernie lives in Kuttawa, Kentucky. He is a good guy and I wanted to visit him on his own turf. However, the impetus for the trip was a PostSecret art display in Paducah. If you are asking yourself, “What is PostSecret?”, most likely you and I aren’t all that close.

Is the South as bad as it is portrayed by Hollywood and country music?

I never quite made it to the Deep South. I was always within safe driving distance of the Illinois border. In fact, Kentucky was a border state. They never joined the Confederate States of America. Kentucky tried to be all neutral during the Civil War and never really fronted for the Union either. That mostly makes Kentucky a big coward, but better yellow than a dirty Reb!

That being said, there are things that you hear in Kentucky that are pretty bad:

  • “Down there is where the Klan held there parade a couple years ago.” (Incidentally, an awesome story about Ernie is that when the Klan held a parade in a neighboring town, he marched up to the Head Inbreeder and asked for an application. That my friends, takes courage.)
  • “When they put up the new Courthouse, they had us tear down a tree where they lynched a little black kid. About 100 years ago a white woman was walking down the street and she said that a black kid whistled at her. So they decided to lynch him. However, he worked at a tobacco farm, so the farmer insisted that they wait to lynch him until after the harvest. When the harvesting was done, the townfolk came and got him and hung him from the tree next to the courthouse. That was about 100 years ago. They decided to cut that tree down last year. It was time for a new start.”
  • “We shouldn’t go to Calvert City. They don’t like interracial couples in that town.”
  • “What do you mean you don’t keep your gas pack outside?”
  • “I reckon…”

With all of that being said, by far and away the worst town that we voyaged through during our time down there was Cairo, Illinois. In fact, Cairo might be the new crappiest town I have ever been in. It certainly gives the towns of Beaver, Fort Dodge and Newton a run for their money.

I do have to give the people of Illinois some credit. Right next to Cairo was a town called Future City. By the looks of the disrepair that has fallen on Future City, the founders are banking on the future to be similar to the futures predicted by movies like Mad Max or Planet of the Apes.

What is a Gravity Pull Hill?

A Gravity Pull Hill is a hill where if you park you car and put it in neutral, some unseen force will push your uphill. We did park Ernie’s car at the base of the hill. After a few moments we were pulled uphill.

Now there are a couple of urban legends surrounded this particular hill. One is that this hill is the site of a spot where a man strapped his cheatin’ wife to the back of his wagon and drug her to her death. Her ghost pulls your car up the hill.

Another legend is that a man and his daughter had car troubles at this spot. When they got out the car, they were ran over by a truck. It is their ghosts that are pushing your car up the hill.

Another legend states that if you cover your trunk with baby powder, when you get to the top of the hill you will find 6 hand prints on the trunk of the car.

The true scientific explanation for a gravity hill is that it is an optical illusion. Although the hill looks like it goes uphill, it actually goes downhill. Next time I’m in Kentucky I will see if science is telling the truth.

What is the story behind the Abraham Lincoln bust that you busted up?

The guy who lived in the house next to Ernie’s passed away recently. Ernie and his sister bought the house for 1500 dollars. They also bought the lot next to it for 200 dollars. Strapped to the front porch of the house was a bust of Abraham Lincoln. I was intrigued by this bust as soon as I saw it.

I couldn’t tell who it was from Teresa’s car. I figured since we were down South, it was most likely a bust of Jefferson Davis or Lee or Stonewall Jackson. When we got there I didn’t know that Ernie owned this house. I thought that somebody lived there and just didn’t keep care of their yard. I didn’t want to go trespassing just to get a better looking.

I had visions of some dude without teeth coming out with a shotgun telling me to “Get off my land!”

Later I found out that Ernie owned this house and said that I could have the bust if I wanted it. On Sunday I made my way through the yard and up the porch to claim my prize. I was surprised to find out that the bust was actually of Abraham Lincoln.

As I began to work the bust free from the nail that held it down, Abe’s head broke off in my hand.

I was aghast. One thought raced across my mind. “I’m one of them now.”

How was the PostSecret display?

It was phenomenal. I had seen the majority of the secrets displayed in the books or on the website, but it is a whole different experience to actually see the real cards. I loved it enough, that I’m considering going up to Minneapolis to see the display again when it moves there in a couple of months.

Was Lambert’s really worth a 90 minute wait?

You better believe it. It was worth the 90 minute wait plus the 90 minute drive to get there. If you are ever in Sikeston, Missouri do yourself the huge favor and go there and eat. The service was phenomenal. The food was exquisite. The portions were incredible. The fresh hot throwed rolls were perhaps the second best restaurant rolls I’ve ever had in my life. The sorghum was awesome. I also came to the conclusion that I could live of fried okra until my heart gave out from having a diet consisting entirely of fried food.

I loved it so much that I even bought a shirt.

So you went to a Southern Baptist church service, how was that?

I would go back, if not for the music, for the gay bashing. Seriously, I could have done without the gay bashing, but the music was incredible. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was the second best praise band this guy has ever heard.

It was also long. We arrived at the service at about 11:15. The service started at about 11:30. We ducked out at about 2:30. The service was still going strong.

I’m not sure how many of my other friends would have enjoyed the service. The energy was good. However, it seemed like a lot of the service was entertainment. The praise band played for over an hour. There was an interpretive dance thrown in for good measure.

It was okay, but I don’t think I learned anything from going to the service. I learned a lot from a cultural perspective. I don’t think I learned anything about Christianity. The sermon was entertaining and it had lots of energy and it got you going, but I don’t think that there was a lesson in there that I could use to apply to my life and make myself a better Christian and therefore a better person. I don’t even think that there was anything in there to make me think. What is the old saying? “Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

You went to the Abraham Lincoln Museum. Aren’t museums boring?

I have a rule I use when evaluating people. “People that bore easily are boring people.” That is on page 17 of my new book: The Wit and Witticism of Christopher D. Bennett.

If I failed to answer your question, hit me up with another question and I’ll drop some more knowledge on you.

Back to Civilization

After desecrating the Lincoln statue, I had to make amends by visiting the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Lincoln’s Tomb. This we did on our return trip to civilization.


Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Traditional Road Trip Photo

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Waffle House Turtle

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Springfield

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
The Lincoln Family

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Booth

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lincoln Portrait

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Generals

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Douglass

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
White House

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
“War is old men talking and young men dying…”

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
I don’t really know this guy.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Old State Capitol (Where Obama announced his run for the White House.)

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Teresa

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Presidential Library

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Presidential Museum

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Statue

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lincoln’s Tomb

Kentucky Vacation - 2008

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lincoln’s Final Resting Place

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Inside Lincoln’s Tomb

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Inside Lincoln’s Tomb

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lincoln’s Tomb

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lincoln’s Tomb

Visiting Springfield was an incredible experience. I highly recommend it to anybody that can make it there. You don’t even have to be a history nerd.

Kentucky – Day 3

Sunday of the Kentucky trip consisted of going to a Southern Baptist church service and visiting Ernie’s pond.


Kentucky Vacation - 2008
What 1500 bucks buys in Kentucky.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
President Lincoln

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Church Sign

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Church Bus

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Sculpture

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Sculpture

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Teresa and Ernie

Kentucky Vacation - 2008

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Home of some great fudge.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Kentucky Dam

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Crane


Lunch


Ernie

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Desecration

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Unofficial Southerner

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Citizen of Ernie’s Pond

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie’s Pond

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Cat Tails

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Berries

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie’s Sister

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie’s Tractor

All that was left to do was to head back to civilization.

Down South – Day 2

On Saturday we visited a tobacco farm, went to Newson’s (home of the famous hot dog sauce), visited Paducah and then ate at Lambert’s. The impetus for this trip was the PostSecret display at the Paducah Art Gallery. The display was certainly worth the trip.


Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Teresa and Ernie

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Tobacco Barn

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie in the Tobacco Barn

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Tobacco Farm

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Tobacco Fields

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Tobacco Farmer

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie and Teresa

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Tobacco Field

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Hanging out with Tobacco

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Teresa taking a picture with the camera phone.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie showing some tobacco tools.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
I couldn’t stop thinking about tomacco the whole time I was there.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
The Gravity Pull Hill

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
The Gravity Pull Hill Mailbox

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Newsom’s

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Newsom’s (Also home of some tasty ham)

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Some Peaches

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Kentucky Prison Farm

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Barges

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Taking Some Pictures

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
The Art Gallery


Camera Phone Picture

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Ernie

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lambert’s

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
90 Minute Wait at Lambert’s

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Y’all is not a word.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Check out the size of that ham!

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Very annoying detour.

There was a 90 minute wait at Lambert’s and it was well worth the wait. If you are ever in Sikeston, Missouri do yourself a favor and stop there and eat. It is incredible.

The South – Day 1

Friday was day 1 of my odyssey to the South. I took a few pictures. Here are some of them.


Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Lunch

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman II Astronaut Costume

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman Museum

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Teresa

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Classic Family Portrait

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Metropolis, Illinois

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman Statue

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman Statue and Teresa

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman Statue

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Superman

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Reflection

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Metropolis

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
I like big statues.

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Small Baptist Chapel

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Knuckles on Praying Hands

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Cross from Southern Baptist Church

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Whitehaven

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Whitehaven Windows

Kentucky Vacation - 2008
Kentucky Dam

Kentucky Vacation - 2008

Day 1 of the trip ended with a meal prepared by Ernie that included the largest potato I have ever seen (to the best of my knowledge, not grown near a nuclear power plant) and some tasty pork steak.

That night we loaded back up into the car and toured Ernie’s town of Kuttawa and the nearby town of Eddyville. We experienced a gravity pull hill and then drove around a maximum security prison.

It was a good first day.

Albia, Iowa

I drove to Albia on Sunday to watch Elainie play softball in the Little League State Tournament. I was honestly expecting to only watch one game because they were playing Grand View. I can never recall a Boone team beating a Grand View team. But it happened. Boone beat Grand View 9-6. They played Monroe County in the title game and fell 7-1.

Here are some pictures from the day.


State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia
Not going to make a play on Elainie’s monster smash!

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

Albia Rose

Albia Rose

07-20-08

Albia Rose

07-20-08
Great Raspberry Shakes!

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

State Tournament - Albia

There is one other thing. It is traditional to paint your vehicle to support your kid’s team when they go to tournaments. I understand that. However, there needs to be some common sense exercised.

For example. Say you have a daughter. Say that daughter is a pitcher. Say that daughter strikes people out. A reasonable thing to do would be to paint a couple “K”s on your van because the “K” is the symbol for strikeout in score keeping.

Now think about it. Just off the top of your head, what amount of “K”s would you not want to paint on your van.

Has it come to you yet?

Figured it out yet?

Have that answer yet?


State Tournament - Albia

Yeah, that seems like a bad idea to me. Even if there are 3 outs in an inning.

For the record, this van was from Wisconsin and not Boone.

Lessons Learned in a Giant’s Town

On May 10, 2008, I loaded up into the famous Rideshare Van with Baier and we headed to Fort Dodge to tour the Fort Dodge Museum and see the “Real” Cardiff Giant.

I already knew that there would be a certain amount of controversy surrounding the trip and the Cardiff Giant due to the Cardiff Giant’s phallus. However, I will delve more deeply into the realm of the Cardiff Giant and his junk later. Today I just want to cover some of the salient points of the trip.

We did some important things like:


Cardiff Giant - Fort Dodge
Take the Traditional Road Trip Photo


Cardiff Giant - Fort Dodge
Pretend to be Repentant Prisoners

Cardiff Giant - Fort Dodge
See the Cardiff Giant

However we also learned a few things on this trip.

heck out the “Conditions for Employment for Teachers” in 19th Century Central Iowa.


Cardiff Giant - Fort Dodge
Like you can read that! Stop squinting!

Since you can’t read that, let me start out by saying I know some womenfolk that I hold in very high regard. Some of them its even for their morality. But I don’t know a single womanfolk that could hold to these standards or would even bother trying.

Conditions for Employment

  • Must not dress in bright colors
  • Dresses must not be more than two inches above the ankles
  • At least 2 petticoats must be worn (I’d kind of like to know why that matters.)
  • Petticoats will be dried in pillowcases (Again, why does that matter?)
  • Teachers will not marry
  • Teachers will not keep company with men
  • Will not get into a carriage or automobile with any man, except her brother or father
  • Teachers are expected to be at home between the hours of 8 pm and 6 am.
  • Teacher will not smoke
  • Teacher will not play cards
  • Teacher will not dye her hair under any circumstance (Not even if dressing as Ginny Weasley for Halloween)
  • Teacher will attend church each Sunday
  • Teacher will either teach Sunday School OR sing in the choir
  • Teacher will not leave town without permission of the Chairman of the School Board
  • BUT THIS ONE IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE: Teachers will not loiter at ice cream stores

Another lesson learned on this trip is that the man who carved the “Real” Cardiff Giant looked eerily similar to Donald Pleasence’s Doctor Loomis character from the horror movie classic Halloween (1978).


Cardiff Giant - Fort Dodge
Dr. Loomis

Haddonfield isn’t all that far away. I bet Smith’s Grove isn’t that far away either. Perhaps he just swung over on his breaks.

Even though I haven’t watched a horror movie in many a year now, I still have thoughts like this running through my head (in Donald Pleasence’s voice) when I look at the Cardiff Giant:

I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes… the *devil’s* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that [Giant’s] eyes was purely and simply… *evil*.

Or

– I- I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room, staring at a wall, not seeing the wall, looking past the wall – looking at this night, inhumanly patient, waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off. Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. Now you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it.

Or

This isn’t a man.

A final non-gypsum-phallus related lesson we learned is never eat at the Fort Dodge Bonanza, no matter how nostalgic you are feeling for the old Ames Bonanza. The high point of that meal was watching an employee refill the buffet with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

There are many more pictures posted in the famous Photography 139 Gallery in The Cardiff Giant Road Trip Album:

Cardiff Giant Road Trip

BELOW IS NO LONGER ACCURATE:

There are some bonus pictures in the Friends Album that you have to be a Registered User to see. There might have been some rules violations in those pictures and I don’t feel right posting those for the whole world to see after the Museum Director asked to buy some pictures off of me.

The Big Jesus

Last Friday Jesse and I embarked on a road trip that we lovingly named The Big Jesus Road Trip. Our final destination and epoch of the trip was a 33 foot tall stainless steel Jesus statue.

A plan was hatched and a route was devised. The plan was set in motion. Considerations were made. Including starting the road trip by listening to the Audio Adrenaline song Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus.

I could move to hollywood (yeah)
get my teeth capped i know i could
be a big star
on the silver screen
just like james dean
i could be a star
i could climb the corporate ladder

maybe be just like the beatles
melodic rocking heavyweights
i could learn to sing and dance
if i only had a chance
i could be a big rock star

i could be anything i wanted to
i could do anything but one thing’s true
never gonna be as big as Jesus
hand
never gonna be as big as Jesus
never gonna build the promise land
but that, that’s all right,
o.k. with me (bop bop bop bop ba dop, ooh!)

i could build a tower to heaven
get on top and touch the sky
i could write a million songs
all designed to glorify
i could be about as good
good as any human could
but that won’t get me by

But in the end, we just headed out on the open road to the sound of the Taurus.


The Big Jesus Road Trip
The Open Road – Highway 17 – Goodell, Iowa

We passed through the following cities:

  • Stanhope
  • Webster City
  • Blairsburg
  • Belmond
  • Goodell
  • Klemme
  • Ventura
  • Clear Lake
  • Miller
  • Duncan
  • Britt
  • Algona
  • Cylinder
  • Emmetsburg
  • Mallard
  • Pocahontas
  • Cherokee
  • Meriden
  • Cleghorn
  • Remsen
  • Le Mars
  • Merril
  • Hinton
  • Sioux City
  • Lawton
  • Moville
  • Correctionville
  • Early
  • Lake View
  • Auburn
  • Carroll
  • Glidden
  • Jefferson
  • Grand Junction


We did important things like:


The Big Jesus Road Trip
Take the Traditional Road Trip Photo

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Visit the Surf Ballroom

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Visit the plane crash site that claimed the lives of Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, and Ritichie Valens

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Feel the pain of finding out that the World’s Largest Cheeto had been kidnapped.

The Big Jesus Road Trip
>Feel the thrill of seeing the World’s Largest Cheeto when the waitress brings it out for a special appearance.

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Meet this awesome guy!

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Kiss the Blarney Stone

The Big Jesus Road Trip
Got a honk and a wave from the friendly folks in Mallard

The Big Jesus Road Trip
See the world’s ugliest statue.

The Big Jesus Road Trip
See the Big Jesus (and Mary too).

The Big Jesus Road Trip
See the Sgt. Floyd Memorial.

I hope to go into more detail about the trip in the near future. Until then, you can check out many, many more pictures from the trip in my Photography 139 Gallery.

THE BIG JESUS ROAD TRIP

Tell My Friend Willie Brown

I have a week chock full of fun activities, but I think one might stand above all the others. Tonight Derrick and I are having a little bonding time by watching Crossroads.

If you instantly thought of the Britney Spears movie, you are not my friend. Please erase my e-mail from your address book. Delete my phone number from your cell phone. Unless, you are willing to learn. Then you can remain my friend, but you may have to make amends for your sin.

Those of you that instantly thought of the 1986 Walter Hill classic, good job. You get a gold star and might get a birthday present from me if you meet the rest of the birthday present getting criteria.

This movie is so sweet that it even eclipses the other events from this week.


05-07-08

I got this wad of cash last night at the bowling league awards ceremony. Yes ladies and gentleman, that is what 38 smackers looks like.

But even getting money is eclipsed by Crossroads.


05-07-08
New Road Trip Hat

I’m even going on two road trips this week to break in my new Road Trip Hat. The Big Jesus Road Trip on Friday. Then on Saturday I’m going on The Cardiff Giant Road Trip. The Cardiff Giant Road Trip had taken on a bit of an added dimension after some information I received last Wednesday. I don’t want too give too much away, but think “Gypsum Penis”. At least if I correctly deducted what the term “modest” was meant to insinuate.

I’m also going to see Chicago on Thursday at Stephens.

Plus, I’m having supper tomorrow night at Jimmy’s Barbecue.

If that isn’t enough, there is serving food for the Mother-Daughter banquet on Saturday night.

Of course there is the traditional Mother’s Day Barbecue on Sunday.

Yet they are all eclipsed by tonight’s viewing of Crossroads.

Derrick recently went down to the home of Delta Blues for a 3 or 4 day extensive training session with Peavey in Meridian, Mississippi. I gave him the mission of either getting a Mississippi String Tie (which is what a bluesman wears in Mississippi) or at least making it to Highway 61.

The folks at Peavey kept him so busy that he never accomplished either mission. In fact the only time he was free from them he made a trip to a gas station. He did report to me that they served catfish at this gas station. We both agree that Gas Station Catfish would make either a great song or album title.

I thought I would just share some of my favorite scenes from Crossroads.



The Crossroads


“Where I come from, you don’t blow no harp, you don’t get no pussy.”


Highway 61


Mississippi Blues Tie


“Look at this old guitar here you been squeakin’ on. I bet you saw this thing in a music store and bought it just because you thought it was beat up! Well you got it all wrong. Muddy Waters invented electricity.”


“Where you learn to play them pussy chords, in music school?… Now if you spend as much time with your hands on them strings as you do on this girl’s ass, you might get somewhere.”


“Lots of towns… Lots of songs… Lots of women… Good times… Bad times… Only thing I wanted anyone to say is… ‘He could really play… He was good’.”


The Crossroads Again.


The Devil’s Guitarist.


The Guitar Battle.

Now that is a movie. I’m already getting me some of them Crossroads Blues:

I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above, have mercy now, save poor Bob if you please

Standin’ at the crossroads, tried to flag a ride
Whee-hee, I tried to flag a ride
Didn’t nobody seem to know me, everybody pass me by

Standin’ at the crossroads, risin’ sun goin’ down
Standin’ at the crossroads baby, the risin’ sun goin’ down
I believe to my soul now, po’ Bob is sinkin’ down

You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
That I got the crossroad blues this mornin’, Lord, baby I’m sinkin’ down

I went to the crossroad, mama, I looked east and west
I went to the crossroad, babe, I looked east and west
Lord, I didn’t have no sweet woman, ooh well, babe, in my distress

Time to Come Clean

Over the last week I have had to face a couple of hard truths. The first truth is that the Pope isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Or perhaps I’m wrong and during this time of religious bickering, it was a smart thing to piss off Jews and Protestants and unify them against him and the Catholic Church.

The second truth I’ve had to face is that I’m not going to finish my 14 part blog. Or at least not any time soon. So I’m going to break the silence on the things of done since May 19th. So these are the things I’ve done since that day, in no particular order:

I’ve went to the following movies:

Pirates 3 – Very disappointing ending.
Oceans 13 – Better than Oceans 12, but what wasn’t?
Ratatouille – Easily the best movie of the year thus far.
A Mighty Heart – Not as good as I had hoped.
Waitress – Also not as good as I had hoped and the doctor gets off way too easily.
Transformers – Easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. What passes for wit in this loserfest is the racial stereotype transformer tells Megatron “You want a piece of me?” Megatron rips the racial stereotype Autobot in half and says “No, I want two pieces.” This movie is even bad by Michael Bay standards.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – A lot more fulfilling if you have read the book, other wise many sequences are just confusing.
I talked to and shook hands with Barack Obama and told him about my job.
I helped set a sales record for Little White Lye Soap.
Walked a few laps with Willy at Relay for Life. He walked 31 miles.
Went to the 2nd oldest restaurant in Iowa (Stone’s) with Jay.

Had lunch with Faust in Mankato.
Visited the National Hobo Museum.
Took pictures of flowers.
Saw Buddy Guy in concert with Derrick and Jen.
Turned in my photo entries for the State Fair.
Attended a birthday party for Jen.
Took the Henning family picture.
Watched K-Dawg’s team get smoked by Jefferson in the Little League tournament one day and come back to do the smoking a few days later to advance to the state tournament.
Took Jesse to the emergency room.
Bought a sweet new monitor for my home computer. (I’m not normally one to brag about my consumer tendencies, but I really love this monitor.)
Watched Killdeer lay on eggs and the eggs hatch a few days later.
Went to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Brian Beavers.
Saw the world’s largest strawberry.
Saw the world’s largest bullhead.
Saw the Jolly Green Giant.
Despite have to walk a half mile due to a guy’s gastronomical difficulties, watched Willy complete the 5K at Midnight Madness.
Had lunch with Mark before he returns to Taiwan.
Went to Backbone State Park with Shannon.
Helped Stephanie pick out a camera for work.
Went to the State Center Rose Garden with Jay.
Attempted and failed to make Mentos/Diet Coke rockets with Eric.
Took pictures of the “844”.
Enjoyed several Friday Night Supper Clubs with Jay and Willy.
Enjoyed several New Taste Tuesdays with Frank, Jesse, and Steve.
Went to the Company picnic. Seemed like people were actually excited to see me.
Drove to Minnesota to see Nate and watch Harry Potter.
Watched a slide show of pictures from Willy’s trip to Spain.
Attended a pretty sweet Memorial Day barbecue.
Set up a new squirrel feeder and two new bird feeders.
Changed the oil in my car. (personal reminder, change oil again at 161,000 miles)
Helped make soap.
It is most likely I did more than that, but that is all that comed to my head at this time, with one exception. One major exception.
I went to the Des Moines Arts Festival with Rebecca and Jay. I would have to say first and foremost, what a dog that was. What a major disappointment.

However, it did inspire me to put together the blog that I will hopefully post on the morrow. I can’t say that it is a good blog. In fact, it is probably the type of blog that makes one lose friends and gain enemies. It is the type of blog that may make people stop returning my e-mails or phone calls. The type of blog that may make people move to the other side of the street if they see me walking down the street. It frankly might be a subject that will make some people uncomfortable. Yet, that is for tomorrow.