I hope everybody had a lovely Mother’s Day.
The Mother’s Day Peony is blooming right on schedule. Here are a couple of pictures
More flower pictures to come in the future.
Mother’s Day
Monthly Archives: May 2008
Hilarity Ensues
This is a video that I came across on YouTube. If you are a subscriber to this blog, you will actually have to go to the website to see it.
It is dedicated to anybody that thinks that it is pathetic to cry at the movies. That is a really cynical attitude. Especially this close to Mother’s Day.
Mantage
VIDEO DELETED
LWL Products Page
A week back when I was publishing my endorsement of Little White Lye Soap the product pictures on the Little White Lye Soap were less than satisfactory. They have since been replaced and updated with way more acceptable pictures like this one:
I urge you to follow the link below and check out the new images:
WEBSITE HAS BEEN DELETED
Supper with the Ungs
So I went for dinner with Ungs last night. It was interesting because right before he stopped by to pick me up, he was just finishing up his job.
I don’t know all of the details of his job, but part of it involves taking children home. On this night the last child that he dropped off pulled a knife on him. Well, this put a bit of a damper on our evening because the police kept calling in the middle of our dinner to find out if he wanted to press charges on this kid.
He didn’t press charges, but I think it was because he thought it would have made him look weak to press charges on an 11 year old girl for pulling a knife on him.
At the end of our dinner he helped me out with a picture project that will be made public to anybody that e-mails me on Friday or Saturday. I can’t post those pictures now, but I can post some of the test images that I took.
He is soldiering on bravely after his knife episode. For the record, showing some leg didn’t get him picked up. I guess that only works for women.
Some Storm
I rarely discuss the weather, but that was some storm last night. I wish I had some pictures of that storm to post, but I don’t. I spent last night inside, like a coward. Rather than outdoors taking lightning pictures. Not because I am a coward, but because Crossroads just wasn’t going to watch itself.
I do have some pictures of the storm aftermath to post that I took on the short jaunt from the back door to the car before I made the sojourn to the Computer Mine.
A Worm
Purple Tulip
A Leaf
Yellow Tulip
Peach Tulip
The first tulip of the yeard did not survive the storm.
On an unrelated note, The Mother’s Day Peony is about to bloom. I took this picture a couple of days ago of an ant hard at work.
Peony
I suppose it is right on schedule.
Tell My Friend Willie Brown
I have a week chock full of fun activities, but I think one might stand above all the others. Tonight Derrick and I are having a little bonding time by watching Crossroads.
If you instantly thought of the Britney Spears movie, you are not my friend. Please erase my e-mail from your address book. Delete my phone number from your cell phone. Unless, you are willing to learn. Then you can remain my friend, but you may have to make amends for your sin.
Those of you that instantly thought of the 1986 Walter Hill classic, good job. You get a gold star and might get a birthday present from me if you meet the rest of the birthday present getting criteria.
This movie is so sweet that it even eclipses the other events from this week.
I got this wad of cash last night at the bowling league awards ceremony. Yes ladies and gentleman, that is what 38 smackers looks like.
But even getting money is eclipsed by Crossroads.
New Road Trip Hat
I’m even going on two road trips this week to break in my new Road Trip Hat. The Big Jesus Road Trip on Friday. Then on Saturday I’m going on The Cardiff Giant Road Trip. The Cardiff Giant Road Trip had taken on a bit of an added dimension after some information I received last Wednesday. I don’t want too give too much away, but think “Gypsum Penis”. At least if I correctly deducted what the term “modest” was meant to insinuate.
I’m also going to see Chicago on Thursday at Stephens.
Plus, I’m having supper tomorrow night at Jimmy’s Barbecue.
If that isn’t enough, there is serving food for the Mother-Daughter banquet on Saturday night.
Of course there is the traditional Mother’s Day Barbecue on Sunday.
Yet they are all eclipsed by tonight’s viewing of Crossroads.
Derrick recently went down to the home of Delta Blues for a 3 or 4 day extensive training session with Peavey in Meridian, Mississippi. I gave him the mission of either getting a Mississippi String Tie (which is what a bluesman wears in Mississippi) or at least making it to Highway 61.
The folks at Peavey kept him so busy that he never accomplished either mission. In fact the only time he was free from them he made a trip to a gas station. He did report to me that they served catfish at this gas station. We both agree that Gas Station Catfish would make either a great song or album title.
I thought I would just share some of my favorite scenes from Crossroads.
The Crossroads
“Where I come from, you don’t blow no harp, you don’t get no pussy.”
Highway 61
Mississippi Blues Tie
“Look at this old guitar here you been squeakin’ on. I bet you saw this thing in a music store and bought it just because you thought it was beat up! Well you got it all wrong. Muddy Waters invented electricity.”
“Where you learn to play them pussy chords, in music school?… Now if you spend as much time with your hands on them strings as you do on this girl’s ass, you might get somewhere.”
“Lots of towns… Lots of songs… Lots of women… Good times… Bad times… Only thing I wanted anyone to say is… ‘He could really play… He was good’.”
The Crossroads Again.
The Devil’s Guitarist.
The Guitar Battle.
Now that is a movie. I’m already getting me some of them Crossroads Blues:
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above, have mercy now, save poor Bob if you pleaseStandin’ at the crossroads, tried to flag a ride
Whee-hee, I tried to flag a ride
Didn’t nobody seem to know me, everybody pass me byStandin’ at the crossroads, risin’ sun goin’ down
Standin’ at the crossroads baby, the risin’ sun goin’ down
I believe to my soul now, po’ Bob is sinkin’ downYou can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
That I got the crossroad blues this mornin’, Lord, baby I’m sinkin’ downI went to the crossroad, mama, I looked east and west
I went to the crossroad, babe, I looked east and west
Lord, I didn’t have no sweet woman, ooh well, babe, in my distress
Just Another Computer Guy
It has been over a week since The Great Insult. I have yet to fully recover.
To recap The Great Insult.
It was during a break in the fast paced action of the Ames Jaycees Sandbox Fill. I was sitting in the backseat with Jamie. We had been getting along famously, even exchanging the occasional high five. Then things turned ugly.
Somewhere along the way the discussion turned to vocations. It is possible that Shannon had asked one of her favorite questions: “Do they know that they pay you to do nothing?” I can’t remember the exact events that transpired before The Great Insult, but I know how The Great Insult went down.
Jamie asked, “What do you do for a living?”
“I work for a small software company that makes software for child torturers. I work in the hardware department building computers and such.”
“You seemed like a Computer Guy.”
What? I immediately took offense to this statement. It was pointed out to me that I work for a computer company and by default that makes me a Computer Guy. Especially when I work in the hardware department. I can’t argue that my job might make me a computer guy. I accept that fact. I embrace it.
On the other hand, it is an entirely different ball of wax to be putting out the vibe that I’m a Computer Guy. This is the way the conversation should go:
“I work for a small software company building computers and such.”
“That surprises me.”
“Why is that?”
“I would have guessed that you were a fighter pilot or stunt motorcyclist or snake handler or tortured artistic genius. I never would have guessed in my wildest dreams that you were just another computer guy.”
It is one thing to be a Computer Guy. It is entirely a different thing for people to look at you and think that it makes sense that you are a Computer Guy.
This is a Computer Guy to me:
- Owns more than 1 guitar for Guitar Hero
- Took the day off that GTA 4 came out
- Own multiple video game systems
Maybe I’m thinking of a Video Game Guy and not a Computer Guy. Believe me, they are not the same. Video Game Guy doesn’t have any useful skills. Darn it! Now I’m sticking up for Computer Guy. Let me try again:
- Can’t put together full sentences.
- Doesn’t own a clean shirt.
- Doesn’t bathe all that much.
- Can tell you jokes in binary.
- Can’t sustain eye contact.
- Laughs nervously at own attempts at humor.
I am very fluent, hilarious, always smell great (thanks to Little White Lye Soap), sustain eye contact when I want to and own numerous clean shirts. So you see, I’m clearly not a Computer Guy. I just play one at work.
False Snake Hype
I have been looking forward to today for quite some time.
After church Lowell and I attended a Methodist Men board meeting. I learned a lot about our future activities. We are serving the food at the Mother-Daughter Banquet this coming Saturday. We are serving Fellowship in the month of June. We are running the Church Food Stand for some Cattle Shows coming up. We are serving breakfast during one of the days of the coming tractor rally. So there are a lot of things going on this Summer. The convenient part is that most Methodist Men activities take place on Saturdays so it won’t be a scheduling conflict with Ames on the Half Shell.
At 2 PM Teresa and I showed up for an Exclusive Series Preview of the upcoming season at Stephens. I was a little bit worried that we had wandered into a nursing home tour when we got in line to get our packet of information. We were the youngest people in the line by at least 40 years. Well by 50 years for me.
The presentation was on the stage at Stephens. I haven’t been on the stage at Stephens since High School. From the stage you can really see what a beautiful auditorium it is and can tell why it is the Building of the Century.
They did a little program and announced the upcoming season:
- September 24 – Sweeney Todd
- November 2 – Vanguard Jazz
- November 6 – Movin’ Out
- November 9 – Jerusalem Symphony
- November 23 – Lorie Line and her Pop Chamber Orchestra
- December 3 – Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
- December 18 – A Skaggs Family Christmas
- January 25 – Goodnight Moon/Runaway Bunny
- February 8 – The Peking Acrobats
- February 13 – The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
- February 20 – To Kill a Mockingbird
- March 27 – Blue Note Records Tour
- April 9 – The Drowsy Chaperone
- April 14-15 – Stomp
- May 1 – Australian Chamber Orchestra
From our preliminary discussions it seems that Teresa and I are slightly at odds as to what we want to go see. The one event I know that I want to see for sure is the Blue Note Records Tour. Teresa isn’t overly interested in that one. For some reason she thinks that Kenny G. and David Sanborn is jazz. Perhaps, I have a friend out there that likes real jazz that I might be able to persuade into going.
At the end of the presentation they asked everybody to look at the back of their folder. If you had stickers on the back you won a door prize. Teresa had stickers on the back of her folder. I was expecting some cheesy door prize based on the lousy corporate events I had attended in the past, but what Teresa won was pretty sweet. She won 2 free tickets to see the Jerusalem Symphony (over a $100.00 value) and a couple of their CDs. So on November 9th, we will be going to see the Jerusalem Symphony for free and you can’t beat that with a stick.
Roland
After the presentation we went up to Roland to check out the new house that Monica and Jeff are renting. When we got there we were warned to watch the grass because they had seen snakes everywhere in the yard. I was excited. I haven’t seen a snake yet this year. I looked all over the yard (even in a compost pile) but I didn’t find a single snake, let alone snakes. I was the victim of false snake hype.
I got the nickel tour of their new domicile. Monica, Jeff, Suzie and Cassie were painting. I grabbed a few pictures of them at work. I always love watching other people work.
Sweet Windmill. I think it needs to be sanded down and painted, but Monica thinks it looks awesome rusty. I respectfully disagree. It looks awesome rusty if you are going for some kind of Nouveau Texas Chainsaw Massacre look, but a splash of bright red would really do wonders for this thing, but it isn’t mine.
Suzie slacking off.
The bathroom color.
Jeff painting the master bedroom
Monica crawling.
Suzie playing with the master tape.
Cassie painting the living room.
I think it is going to a pretty sweet place when they are done painting.
Ames on the Half Shell
The Band Selection Committee that I was on that kind of half ass did our job and has completed its work. Here is the list of bands that are going to be playing Ames on the Half Shell.
- May 30 – Redzband
- June 6 – Murphy’s Law (Family Night)
- June 13 – Burnin’ Sensations
- June 20 – Vivace
- June 27 – Box Brothers
- July 11 – Saucy Jack
- July 18 – Kountertop
- July 25 – 3AM Band
If you can only make it to one Ames on the Half Shell event this year, I urge you to attend Kountertop. They are excellent. Unless you have small children. In that case, come on June 6 and see Murphy’s Law on Family Night. There are going to be a lot of cool things for small children on Family Night.
Cardinal Gymnastics Academy
Today was Alexis’ gymnastics recital. I took a few pictures of her during the event.
bars2
As you can tell, she is really good.
Flowers
I’ve been fighting a battle with a tulip lately, but I finally got a few of pictures of it. These are the first flower pictures of the year.
Hopefully this means tthat there will be a flood of flower picture opportunities coming my way.
A Couple Computer Mine Thoughts
I’m not the type of person that grouses about their job all that much. That is mostly because I enjoy my job and I have only a modicum of responsibility. Plus for the most part, very few people can screw me over in my job. So the co-workers that I find annoying I can still view at a comical level because they rarely actually interfere with my job. They just annoy me on occasion.
Yesterday was May Day. It is a holiday that I thought only school children were forced to celebrate because it came near the end of the school year and most teachers were ready for summer vacation and had given up on teaching the current lot of savages in their classrooms.
When I opened up Outlook when I got to work there were already two e-mails wishing me a Happy May Day and a third e-mail wishing me a Happy Beltane. I’m not a grouch. I don’t get mad on certain holidays. Particularly when I get free food because of the holiday, but it did make me wonder why there was no love for International Worker’s Day.
International Worker’s Day is the holiday I celebrate on the First of May every year. I think next year I’m going to beat the other holidays to the punch. I’m going to show up with some communist themed food right at 7 am and have the first Happy International Worker’s Day e-mail out by 7:02. It will be a victory for the workers of the world.
I discussed this plan briefly with Lowell. By the time I got back to my desk there was a third Happy May Day e-mail waiting for me. It is this e-mail that actually kind of annoys me. Not because somebody had sent me a generic “Everyone” e-mail wishing me a Happy Holiday that I’m sure if I questioned the sender they couldn’t tell me the first thing about the origins of that holiday.
It was the style of the e-mail. I really should have done a screen capture of this e-mail, but I’m sure that would have been a violation of some kind of proprietary information agreement I might have signed at the beginning of my employment at The Computer Mine.
The person that sent the e-mail is no Hemingway. They aren’t even a Faulkner or a Kerouac. They aren’t even a Dan Brown. When the President of the Mine sent out an e-mail requesting that people in the company make their e-mail signature more professional, she changed her signature so that her phone extension is not listed next to the company phone number, but by her e-mail address. Last time I checked, e-mails don’t have extensions.
I know that she tries. The Computer Mine publishes a company newsletter that is just rife with the type of quality journalism that you would expect to see in such a publication. I have no doubt that some day this newsletter will bring home a Pulitzer. Last quarter there was an enlightening article revealing that this person had recently completed a class in Business Writing.
After reading just a handful of her e-mails on International Worker’s Day, I now want to meet the teacher that taught her that it is completely ACCEPTABLE to substitute smilies for punctuation, because you know what? It isn’t acceptable. Not even in non-professional e-mails. In fact, smilies are never acceptable in any situation or any circumstance.
On Another Note
I spotted Steve. However, I wasn’t able to get a picture of him. Well, I got this really lousy picture of him that looks like the type of picture that people crack out when they are trying to prove the existence of some cryptozoological creature like Bigfoot or Nessie.
Steve the Groundhog
I’m sorry it is such a terrible picture, but it was I could do. Steve is quicker than he looks and he made a mad dash for his hole when he saw me standing outside. I hope to get a better picture of Steve sometime this year. It will be a personal mission.