Lowell and I discussed putting together a Relay for Life team for 2008 shortly after the 2007 Relay for Life event ended. Then we did nothing.
A couple of Sundays ago they announced in church the need for members for our 2 Relay for Life teams. Lowell quickly signed us up for a team.
Last Sunday after completing my ushering duties, I made my way down to Fellowship. Once there I received my packet.
Methodist Team A Relay for Life Packet
As I’ve been going through some of the information in the packet I notice that there is a Team Spirit Award this year. The team with the most points wins this award. Some of the ways that teams earn points are:
Hold a team fundraiser prior to the Relay
Sell 15 daffodil bunches during Daffodil Days
Buy/Sell 20 Luminaries
Decorate your campsite
Have 1 or more team members in the frozen t-shirt contest
Have 1 or more team members in the Miss Relay contest
All team members attend the Opening Ceremony
8+ team members attend the Closing Ceremony
Team member(s) walking every hour of the relay
Bring a survivor to the relay who has not attended before
Some of the Fun Laps include:
Masquerade lap
Safari lap
Reality show lap
Pirate lap
Perhaps my favorite part of the handout is the “Be Prepared for These Possible Activities…” section:
Miss Relay Competition (for Men and Boys only!!)
Frozen t-shirt Contest
Biggest Eater Contest
Dance Lap
Biggest Eater Contest
Water Balloon Toss
Shave a Balloon Contest
Fear Factor Challenge
The Miss Relay Competition intrigues me. I happen to know a very successful Drag Queen (albeit retired), but that might be considered cheating. I also happen to know a Dance Machine and a person with a competitive eating title to his credit. I also know a guy that has a lead on a pretty good pirate costume. Hmmm… some planning might be on the horizon.
There are few things in this world that anger me more than people who use religion as a scam. Over the last few years I have certainly come to the conclusion that Christianity is ready for a new reformation. Somehow along the way, the message of love and grace that Christ brought to this world has been transformed into a system of weights and measures where people can determine how “good” they are compared to other people in terms of morality.
I don’t know how morality became the focal point of the Christian message, but I don’t like it. We weren’t put here to the judge the people around us. We were put here to love and serve the people around us.
I have had friends tell me that worshiping and practicing religion does not mean you are a good person. I never dispute this fact, but I also don’t know what it means to be a good person. They tell me that being a good person will get you into heaven, not whether or not you drug your ass out of bed on Sunday mornings. That is good for me, I have problems dragging my ass out of bed every Sunday morning, so I tell them that I’m glad to know that the fate of my eternal soul isn’t dependent on my waking up by 8:30 one day a week.
It is a scary thought process that brings people to this conclusion, but I understand how they got there. What people see when they see Christians isn’t love. It is judgmentalism. I don’t how we got here, but I know it needs to change. Somehow along the ways people came to the conclusion that being a good person gets you into heaven. I’m not an expert on heaven, but I believe this much, grace gets you to heaven. It has nothing to do with being a good person.
Unmerited grace is a gift from God. You can’t deserve it. You can’t earn it. You can’t even buy it. You get it any way. A very smart friend of mine hates the term “unmerited grace”. Grace is unmerited, period. Adding the term unmerited to the front of it is essentially pointless. You are just including part of the definition of the term outside of the term and this gives the implication that the first word is not a part of the definition of the second word.
I don’t mind the term “unmerited grace”, even though I concede the point, because it seems the idea of grace has become skewed in the eyes of some people and because of this, the cart has been put in front of the horse.
A person does not go to church to worship because they are trying to worm their way into heaven. A person doesn’t love and serve their fellow man because they are trying to hoodwink God into letting them into heaven. A person doesn’t try to be “good” because they are trying to earn a certain amount of divine “cool points” that you exchange for admittance into heaven. A person does these things because they are thankful for the gift that can’t be earned, grace.
All of this being said, I understand the reasons why the Christian message has been so skewed in the mind of many in the general public. It is because the loudest faction of Christians are not the one’s that seem to represent the true Christ.
I’m sure that their motivations aren’t bad. I just think somewhere along the way they have become lost. I could point to a myriad of televangelists. I could also point to the Westboro Baptist Church (if you don’t know who these people are, don’t look into it, that is solid advice).
However, what I’m going to point to is a another group of people that are sullying the image of Christianity. These people are the profit whores. People that use religion as a way to line their pockets with cash.
Lowell received this thing below in the mail a couple weeks back:
Can You Make the Eyes of Jesus Open?
This thing makes me sick. The Prayer Rug came with an explicit set of directions. You are supposed to keep it under your bed and send it back to them after 1 day. There was a bunch of other garbage, but I can’t remember it any longer. Then you were supposed to send them some cash, (50 bucks was the suggest donation I believe) and fill out the prayer request card. The prayer request card had several categories of things that you wanted God to give you. These things included material possessions and money. In fact, they wanted you to write down to the penny how much money you wanted God to give you.
Included in the packet was a list of testimonials from people that had sent in 50 bucks and all of the things that God had given them. It was nauseating.
I don’t want to include the name of this church because I don’t want them to get any more exposure than they have already gotten, but I did go to their website to check it out. My favorite part of their website was a line about how they were “a church and not a charity. A church is designed so that you can tithe and give monetary offerings to God.” I have to give them credit for being so up front with their existing only to collect money, but for God of course.
“What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels’ trumpets and devils’ trombones. You are invited!”
– Alex DeLarge (A Clockwork Orange)>
If you are a lover of high quality music, angel trumpets, and/or devil trombones then I have some good news for you. The Boone Big Band is going to be having a show this Saturday. Don’t take my word for it, read the following blurb I stole from their invite that I’m now trying to regurgitate as if it was a press release. I learned that trick from the fine reporters at the Boone News Republican.
The Big Band of Boone will be performing at their annual autumn Hangar Dance on October 27th, 2007 at 7 p.m. in Boone, Iowa.
Many members of the Big Band also perform each summer with the Boone Municipal Band and are either current or former music educators or professional musicians. Big Band members Connie Younger and Paul Navara recruited 18 other talented central-Iowa musicians from Ames, Ankeny, Boone, Madrid, Ogden, Osceola, Renwick, and Stanhope to participate. The band’s repertoire includes classic 40s and 50s era big band music as well as contemporary arrangements of well-known hits.
Big Band members include the following:
Saxophone Section: Connie Younger, Dick Humeston, Laura Britton, Christine Heintz, and Joel Jacobson.
Trumpet Section: Bill Martin, Dan Sprengler, Deidre Malmquist, Linda Younger, Jo Howell, and Steve Weigel.
Trombone Section: Dave Richardson, Larry Moeller, Dale Schoening, Lowell Davis, and Ted Erickson.
Rhythm Section: David Howell on Piano, Dave Swenson on Bass, Mark Astleford on Guitar, and Paul Navara on Drums.
The Hangar Dance will be held on Saturday, October 27th, 2007 at the Boone Municipal Airport in Boone. CY Aviation is co-hosting the event with the Boone Area Pilots Association. Dancing and music begin at 7:00 pm. Seasonal snacks and beverages will be provided and pop will be available for purchase. Dancers and music lovers of all ages are invited to attend. Admission is $10 per person and tickets are available at the door.
When: Saturday Oct 27, 2007
7:00 PM
Where: Boone Municipal Airport
BOONE, IA 50036
The United States of America
Now I haven’t decide whether or not I’m going to attend, but if YOU’RE not there, I’m not even going to bother. Or will I?
I have two brief experiences from the last two days to share.
Nader’s 20th Anniversary
This past Friday marked the 20th anniversary of Nader’s arrival to these United States of America. There is a Lutheran church in Gilbert that sponsored Nader’s immigration. They invited him to attend the church service on Sunday to help celebrate the anniversary.
Nader called me and asked me to give him a ride to Gilbert and sit with him in church for this celebration. I knew I would be sad to miss my personal church service, but I figured it would be a good chance to experience a Lutheran church service. That isn’t something I’ve been exactly hankering to do, but I do kind of want to go to a Quaker service sometime.
It turns out that they had forgotten that they had invited Nader to church and were mostly confused by his presence until he explained to them why he was there. They apologized and were embarrassed and promised to have Nader back up for a proper celebration soon.
We sat down in the very back row of what looked like a very new sanctuary. However, the new digs did not translate into comfortable pews. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such uncomfortable pews. Perhaps the pews in the Lutheran church up in Boxholm are close, but not quite as bad as these.
I don’t want to bash the Lutherans because religious intolerance isn’t my bag. I will just say that the service wasn’t very exciting. About halfway through the service I looked over at Nader and saw that he had fallen asleep.
I was impressed. I have known that his capacity for dozing off during a boring movie is unprecedented, but I didn’t know it would translate to the ability to fall asleep during church. Especially in the world’s most uncomfortable pews.
I can’t blame Nader for falling asleep. He isn’t Christian. I’m not sure he has even been to a church service since before the Islamic Revolution. (Before the fall of the Shah it was okay for Muslims to attend a Christian church service. After the fall of the Shah it was a punishable offense.) The service wasn’t all that compelling. I decided to let him sleep and envied him slightly.
The Pastor began the sermon and Nader still slept. The sermon was on the parable of “The Prodigal Son”. Nader still slept. The Pastor tied the parable in with the accepting of new people. Then he referenced Nader. Everybody in the sanctuary looked at Nader. He was blissfully unaware in a state of sleep as his closed eyes pointed towards the ceiling.
After everybody looked back to the front of the sanctuary I gave Nader a shove to wake him up.
“The Pastor just mentioned you in the sermon and everybody stared at you while you were sleeping.”
“They’ll just think I was reading the program.”
“Except your program wasn’t on the ceiling.”
At the front of the sanctuary they were preparing for the sacrament of Communion.
Nader asked, “Is this about over?”
“It looks like they are doing Communion. We could be here awhile.”
“Want to sneak out?”
In reality I did want to sneak out, but I knew that Nader still had to meet with the Pastor after the service to discuss his 20th anniversary celebration.
“No, we better stay. Just don’t fall asleep again.”
Another High Quality Bowling Memory
My Monday night bowling league has started up again. I’m not particularly possessive of this league, it is merely the league that I am in. I’m not a good bowler nor do I even have a passion for the game. It is something to do with Jim and I get more than enough residual entertainment out of these nights to make it worth the effort.
Last year we had a pretty good team. We finished third in the league. However at the end of the season two of the people from the team decided to move on. I actually figured this might be the end of my bowling career. I was okay with that. I would walk away with my lowest career average, but also my highest team finish.
Jim asked me if we found a couple other guys if I would be interested in continuing. I considered the options and decided I would continue if given the opportunity. However, despite being down two guys, neither one of us did any recruiting. We decided just to tell Darryl (The Lord of the Imperial Lanes) just to give us any two guys that walked in the door. We would make them champions.
Truthfully we never claimed that we would make them champions, but we really said that we would take any two guys. Now I’m not saying that Darryl gave us the dregs of society. He didn’t. These two guys seem perfectly nice. However, they aren’t what I would say that I normally look for in a companion. Perhaps that makes me an elitist, but I can handle that label just fine.
For starters, I spent almost the first week after the first night of bowling half convinced that one of them was a murderer. I couldn’t quite remember how I knew him or his name, but I was half convinced he was a guy that murdered somebody back when I was at dear old BHS.
It turns out after some crack detective work by Lowell that he isn’t a murderer. He was just friends with the murderer.
Then during the second week of bowling one of the bowling alley employees called me over for a private conversation. She wanted me to tell the two new guys on my team that they need to improve their hygiene because they were stinking up the joint.
By their physical appearance, I would have guessed that she was probably right, but as soon as I walk into the cancer factory known as Imperial Lanes, my olfactory nerves call it a night and I can’t smell anything.
Last night was the third week of bowling. One of the new guys didn’t show up. However, the other new guy did show up and he brought a friend. Around the end of the first game, I heard the following conversation. I’m cleaning up the language and leaving vast amounts of details out just because I don’t need to relive them.
“This sucks.”
“What sucks?”
“I have to get rid of the porn on my phone.”
“That does suck. Why would you have to do something like that?”
“My kid was playing with my phone and he found the porn.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, I know. Plus some of that was really good stuff.”
“Like that one where that girl [CENSORED].”
“I know I love the one where the girl [CENSORED] is awesome.”
I’m not what you would call an “expert” on pornography. So I was quite surprised that you could even download porn to your phone. I haven’t quite figured out what the practical purpose of having pornography on your phone would be. If anybody out there knows what it is, keep it to yourself.
Here are what some of my friends and a family member have been up to lately:
Boone’s bands: Everything from Bach to Broadway
By: MARY CATLETT, Boone News-Republican
06/14/2007
If you didn’t spend last evening in a state of grace, relaxation and live music, then you’re one of the few Boone residents who weren’t enjoying the Boone Municipal Band.
Your loss.
Every Wednesday evening under the stars for the last 91 years, this musical group has kept time with the summer season, entertaining scores of Boone generations and enriching the quality of life with the sound of music.
Lowell Davis is a knowledgeable member of the band, which started its season the last week of May.
“We play on Wednesday evenings at 7:30 p.m. in the summer at the Herman Park Pavilion,” he said. “You can expect to hear around eight different musical pieces each week,” in addition to the standard opening “Star Spangled Banner” and closing “America” the Beautiful.”
The evening just wouldn’t be complete without an ice cream social, featuring cake, pie and ice cream. These duties are handled by a different church groups each week.
There’s no Paula Abdul or Randy Jackson to critique, only good times and quality sounds wafting through the attentive crowds.
“It really is a wonderful atmosphere on Wednesdays for our concerts. The Pavilion has marvelous acoustics and, as the band director Dave Richardson often points out, ‘a thousand shades of green’ as you look around the park,” said Davis. “I think it’s great to see different generations of families each week enjoying themselves.”
Morever, Davis knows all of the kids who are playing in the park while their parents and grandparents listen to music will have “wonderful memories as they get older of a community event that just doesn’t happen everywhere anymore like it does here.”
For long-time resident Twila Ingham, the band directs sweet memories to the forefront. “I do ‘remember the days’ many years ago, when my parents would take all five of us kids and one of those large paper bags full of popcorn out to listen to the Boone Municipal Band every Wednesday evening throughout the summer months,” she said.
At that time the band played at Blair Park, across the street from the high school, said Ingham, instead of its current home Herman Park Pavilion at the south end of Greene Street.
“The park had a pond that the kids would inevitably end up playing in during the concerts,” she said. “We always enjoyed ourselves, and going to the concerts meant that we kids got to stay up later than usual – that was always a treat!”
For the last 16 years or so, Boone also hosts the Iowa Municipal Band Festival on the second Saturday in July each year. “In the past we’ve had bands from as far (away) as Germany and as close as Ames join us for a full day of music in the park,” said Davis.
Be it Basie or Bach, there’s good reason for Boone citizens to wend their way to the Herman Park Pavilion for a little mid-season music.
“It was, and I’m sure it still is, a great way to spend a summer evening,” said Ingham. “The nice part of this is that the Wednesday night concerts were and still are free. There’s no charge, so get off that couch and bring the family out for a great evening of entertainment!”
The genesis of the Boone Big Band offers a musical counterpoint to its municipal cousin.
Formed by jazz enthusiasts of the concert band, the Boone Big Band is a full-size award winning community-based band made up of five saxophones, four trombones, five trumpets, drums, piano, bass and guitar. They held their first annual chili feed and dance at the Boone Municipal Airport last October.
“We really didn’t plan on ever performing as a group,” said Lowell Davis. “We just thought it would be fun to have an outlet to enjoy some of the music that we all love. Once we played together a few times people got wind of the group’s existence and asked us to perform in public.”
Their first performances were so well received, and the players enjoyed themselves so much that the group decided to continue on. They now have over 100 charts in their repertoire.
“We love playing the music and people seem to enjoy listening to us,” he said. “We’re on a bit of a hiatus for the summer months as the focus returns to the municipal band and its style of music, but we’ll be back in full force this fall.”
Time is a key ingredient in Shannon Bardole’s Little White Lye Soap. Bardole, 27, started her business in December and operates from her Ames home. Lye, lard, cream of tartar and a lot of time are combined and the result is, soap, a quality, Iowa-made product that is very gentle on the skin.
Bardole’s process begins with lye and rendered lard from Iowa-raised hogs and some cream of tartar. The mixture is stirred for four hours before it is the right consistency to pour into molds, which her father designed and created. The soap continues to cure for two weeks, to ensure that the caustic lye is blended with the lard to make it gentle on the skin. Bardole carefully cuts and packages each bar and distributes them to retail outlets, all relationships that she has fostered. Bardole learned the art of making soap when she worked at Living History Farms and continues to share her excitement about the process and distribution of her product.
What is exciting about your business that draws you in everyday?
Since this business is so new, I enjoy the new opportunities to create relationships with retailers and customers due to a locally handcrafted high-quality product.
Where were you employed prior to this venture?
I spent four years at Living History Farms after I graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with a bachelor’s degree in family services. Within those four years I was the Broom Shop Supervisor and 1900 Farm assistant domestic supervisor. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I am currently the office manager at Atlas Media Group, which deals in collegiate athletics.
What made you decide to open the business?
After leaving Living History Farms, I wanted to continue with some of the things I’d learned there. I can garden and cook at home, but I wanted to be able to bring a quality, Iowa-made product to the public.
Why soap?
Soap was a relatively easy and inexpensive start up. I’d like to get into brooms, but that’s taking more time.
How did you become interested this process?
At Living History Farms, we encouraged visitors to participate in some of the daily processes at the 1900 Farm, and one of those activities was making soap. I remember sitting on the porch stirring soap at the 1900 Farm and thinking, “When I leave here, I think I’d like to keep doing this!” It’s an interesting process to see an extremely caustic chemical turn into the gentlest soap you can use on your skin.
What are some other uses for this product?
I use my soap to wash my hands, as we did at the farm, but we interpreted that lye soap would be used for everything from bathing to laundry. I rub my bar of soap into my shower loofah and shave it up to use as laundry soap. One of my customers commented that it helped with itchy skin. I have begun to shave up some of the soap to use as laundry detergent. It’s been very gentle on my clothes, and gets them clean. For a little extra stain protection, I rub some of the soap directly onto the stain, and it’s been known to take out stains such as grease, ground in dirt and blood.
What is special about Little White Lye Soap?
Since it doesn’t have any perfumes added, it is very mild and gentle on sensitive skin.
Describe your products?
A single bar of Little White Lye Soap is approximately 5 ounces. The molds I use are wooden boxes that I cut the bars of soap out of. Each bar is a little unique regarding shape and size.
What other items do you sell?
My dad and I make crocheted dishcloths, which we sell.
What is a price range for your items?
A bar of soap is $4-$5 and a dish cloth is $5.
What have been customer favorites?
The gift set of a bar of soap wrapped in a dishcloth has been popular.
Why would you recommend Little White Lye Soap?
It’s a mild, gentle soap that is good on your skin in whatever form you use it, whether that is as laundry detergent, hand-washing soap or as a full body soap in the shower.
Where can readers purchase your product?
Little White Lye Soap is available directly from Bardole or at the following retailers: Wheatsfield, 413 Douglas Ave, open daily from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.; in Story City at RVP~1875, 526 Broad St., Story City, open Tuesday to Saturday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Heart of Iowa Marketplace, 221 Fifth St., West Des Moines, open Monday to Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and from noon to 4 p.m. Sunday; Living History Farms, 2600 111th St., open daily 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
RVP~1875 is the only location that carries dishcloths. It will also be sold at the Webster City Farmer’s Market from 8 a.m. to noon starting Saturday.
Lowell and Leah welcomed a new person into this world this past week, so if you see them wandering the streets, tell them congratulations. The important statistical information is as follows:
Holden Ryne Davis
Born September 27, 2006
7:17 p.m.
8 lbs 7 oz.
20.5 inches long
The new picture of the week is up. I intend on making that a Friday tradition, so if you only have time to check this website once a week, Friday might just be your day.
The new picture is “Blue Steel”. It is a self portrait. I would like to say that it is somebody else in the picture, but quite frankly none of my friend’s goatees can match mine for its pure ferocity. This picture is not anywhere near as easy to make as it appears. Think about holding a picture pointed towards yourself at about 3 inches. That is what it took to make this picture.
The day I made this picture I took in excess of 50 pictures. I tried the picture with a toothpick and while eating a Star Bar and finally settled for this pose with water leaking out of my mouth ever so slightly to make my lips glisten.
Whatever else you can say about this picture, it almost immediately draws a strong reaction upon the viewer. Some people instantly see the humor. Some people can’t handle the visceral sexual heat that this image gives off. Some people have problems figuring out the picture’s subject. I won’t tell you what some people thought it was at an initial glance. All I can tell you is that some people are sick and twisted individuals. Sick and twisted.
The name “Blue Steel” comes from the pose Ben Stiller’s character uses in “Zoolander“. If you have seen that movie you will appreciate this fact. I almost attempted to duplicate “Magnum” instead of “Blue Steel”, but I don’t quite have that pose perfected yet. Soon though, it will be mine.
