Slice of Life Vol. 5
Category Archives: Linda
Slice of Life Vol. 4
3Peat
“This is the end,
Beautiful friend,
This is the end,
Of our elaborate plans, the end,
Of everything that stands, the end,
No safety or surprise, the end.”
– The Doors (The End)
Another college basketball season has come to an end. It is a sad, sad day. At least it is only 11 days to Iowa State’s Spring Football Game. 11 long days!
The end of another college basketball season means it is time to crown the champion of year 6 of the Roundball Oracles tournament pool.
This is beginning to sound like a broken record, but a few years back Pat Riley was man enough to patent the word 3peat. What he wasn’t man enough to do is actually 3peat. He came up woefully short in his attempt to win a 3rd straight championship.
Mark Wolfram is not Pat Riley. Mark Wolfram was man enough to be crowned the Roundball Oracles Champion for the 3rd straight year. It was a little embarrassing when a guy living in Taiwan won the first time. Even more embarrassing when he repeated last year. I’m not sure if there are words to express how embarrassing it is that he won for a third straight year.
Hopefully next year somebody will step up and snatch that crown off of his head. Could be you! Could be me! Although I’ll have to rebound from an extremely pathetic performance this year. At least I finished third and won ten bucks in the pool at work.
The Final Standings
1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) – 81 points
2. Nader Parsaei (Charlie Chaplin) – 79 points
3. Dawn Krause (Dawn’s Dunkin’ Dribblers) – 75 points
4. Frank Meiners (Frank’s Picks) – 73 points
4. Corey Faust (Always Go Top Shelf) – 73 points
6. Dan Dill (dan) – 71 points
7. Jason Baier (JLB) – 70 points
8. Robert Henning (Shot In The Dark) – 67 points
9. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill Allstars) – 65 points
9. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) – 65 points
9. Linda Toot (JWB) – 65 points
12 – Derrick Gorshe (Derrick) – 63 points
13 – Jesse Howard (ISU Yes McDermott No) – 62 points
14 – Becky Perkovich (A169032477) – 61 points
15 – Corey Schmidt (TakeIt2ThaHole) – 58 points
15. Toby Sebring (Lickliter Is Out!) – 58 points
17. Russell Kennerly (i’m also transferring greg) 57 points
18. Christopher D. Bennett (I See Things) – 56 points
19. Jon DeWaard (Lono’s bracket) – 54 points
20. Bill Wentworth (Bill’s Bracket) – 53 points
21. Carrie Baier (Couragers) – 52 points
21 competitors was a new Roundball Oracles record for participants. 4 female competitors was a record for female competitors!
I am hopeful that next year, both of those records will be broken.
A Clockwork Couch
In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.
Have a look:
Living Room Changes
As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.
The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though. Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.
Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!
If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”
If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”
I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”
Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.
After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.
Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.
Final NCAA Bracket Chance
Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: bennett@photography139.com and I will see that you get all the necessary information.
Window Project #1
Last Monday I finally completed Window Project #1.
It has been several years since my mom got new windows for her house. I had her keep all of the old windows because I thought that there would be a point in the future where I would be able to use them.
I gave a few to Monica. I gave a few Rebecca. The rest have mostly sat around and collected dust.
The previous Monday (to last Monday) I came to a point of stasis with the Friend Wall. There is still room for more pictures and there are still a few people that aren’t represented on the Friend Wall, but I feel that the wall has adequate coverage for now. I can stop for now and move on to putting holes in the other (naked) walls in my house.
The windows will be a big part of what goes on my remaining walls. I finally got one of the window projects done.
I don’t really have a name for the completed window project, but for now it will be called Window Project #1.
Window Project #1 started with this picture of Jill’s hand.
The rough image.
After cleaning this image up, tweaking it and converting it to black and white, I came up with the final image.
The final image.
I measured a window and ordered a print.
I don’t really trust my own ability to cut straight lines, so I discussed the project with Teresa. She agreed to cut the picture down to size and actually came up with the idea to mount the picture to foam board.
Initially I was going to glue it to the back of the window. I was going to do that even though I had no clue whether or not that would ruin the picture or stain the picture or even hold the picture to the glass.
The foam board was definitely the wise way to go.
Before bowling (actually the greatest bowling night of my life) Teresa came over and cut the foam board and picture. I mounted the picture to the foam board, placed it in the window and put it on the wall.
Window Project #1
After looking at it, I think I might need another picture to go with it. Another body part.
I’ve thought about an eye…
But I think that might be a little bit uncomfortable for some people to look at. Plus, I think I am going to work on an eye project in the future that might be a little bit more ambitious than one photo.
I think the answer is rather obvious. The complimentary picture should be of a foot.
It seems I’m in need of a foot model. Monica has graciously offered up her foot in exchange for me paying for a pedicure for her. I think I can find somebody that will work cheaper than that. I am, just a poor, starving artist after all.
If you hear of anybody wanting to offer up their foot for art, let me know.
But there are also a couple of other window projects on the horizon. I have a set of garage door windows I got from my Aunt Linda that I’ve always thought about using as a frame for flower pictures, but instead I am going to use it to hold family pictures and sit it in the corner of some yet to be determined room.
I am also going down to Salon 908 to measure some wall space on Saturday morning. I am planning on hanging a window up there before their Grand Opening. I don’t have much turnaround on that project though.
I hope my designated cutter is available.
The Favor
I spent an interesting weekend in Kansas City last weekend.
Jen, Derrick, Jesse, Baier and I left early Saturday morning to make it to Arrowhead Stadium in time for the Iowa State-Kansas State game.
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Baier took this picture of Jen, Derrick and I with my phone so that we could send birthday wishes back to Sara.
I did not take my camera to this game, so I don’t have photos to remember this game, but that will hardly be necessary.
Iowa State thoroughly dominated the game, yet managed to be losing by 7 with 30 seconds left in the game. This was thanks to Kansas State pulling a couple of touchdowns out of their butt on two 3rd and longs.
Just when it seemed like their wasn’t any justice in this cruel world, Arnaud lofted a pass toward the back corner of the endzone. When he threw this pass, I was fairly certain it was going to be intercepted. He threw the pass to Jake Williams who was double covered and the pass looked like it was badly overthrown.
Yet, miracles happen! Some how and some way (I’m still not certain how) the pass made it through 2 Kansas State defenders and landed softly in the diving hands of Jake Williams.
Our section went crazy. We were going to overtime.
Then the unthinkable happened. Well, it would be the unthinkable for a fan of about any other team than Iowa State, but Iowa State fans know that they never get full miracles. They get a taste of glory and then have it snatched away from them in the cruelest way imaginable.
There was the game where the refs blew the call and robbed Seneca Wallace of a touchdown against Florida State. There was Tony Yelk’s missed field goal against Alabama. There was the not one, but the two missed field goals that cost us North Division titles against Missouri and Kansas. There was blowing a 20 point lead against Kansas last year. There was ending up 1 yard short of beating Colorado last year.
Now there is this… Kansas State blocking an extra point that would have tied the game and sent it into overtime.
We were stunned. It hurt, but I couldn’t help thinking that this is what it means to be a Cyclone fan. To have a collection of losses that defy ordinary explanation forever engraved into your memory.
I can remember everything about those losses that I just described and at least a dozen more. But I still wouldn’t trade those experiences for cheering for a team with a more “successful” history.
But the game was only the beginning of the weekend. In fact, perhaps the story of what happened after the game started well before we even left for Kansas City.
We had considerable discussion about where to stay that weekend. We gave some consideration about staying with some of our friends and relatives in Kansas City, but with 5 of us, we didn’t want to put anybody out that much.
But it was a busy weekend in Kansas City. The Chiefs were in town for a woodshed beating by the Giants. Plus a bunch of rednecks were driving around in a circle. Apparently this is considered entertainment by some people. Needless to say, getting a hotel for the weekend was going to be difficult.
Jesse volunteered to find us rooms because he still had some connections from his days in the hotel business. He called a guy that we are not going to refer to as a friend. We are going to refer to him as an acquaintance.
This acquaintance agreed to do us a favor. He got us in at a hotel, but we had to claim to be part of a wedding block. He told us that the hotel was a nice business hotel. It was called The Extended Stay and the rooms had both a fridge and a microwave in every room.
Sounded great. Until we pulled up to the hotel and saw it in person.
For starters, the hotel looked like it had been abandoned. There wasn’t a single car in the parking lot and there was clearly black mold on the curtains.
We got out of our vehicles and walked toward the hotel lobby. There was a guy hanging out in a van. He started it as we approached the vehicle. Then as we walked by, he shut it off.
I don’t want to be accused of judging people, but it is my firm belief that he shut off the van when he saw Jen. He got out of the van and followed us into the hotel.
There was a line of about 3 people at the front desk. The front desk employee was the angriest hotel employee I have ever seen and I worked at a hotel once.
Derrick and I sat down on a couch. Jen and Baier sat down in a sofa across from us. Jesse stood in line. Creepy Guy walked into the lobby and then leaned against a wall. He just looked at us.
Then a completely random guy walked into the hotel lobby. I write “random” when I feel that there wasn’t anything random about it. I feel that what this guy did was his job.
Random Guy announced to all the people in the lobby, “Hey, there is a Dominoes right across the street! You could just walk over and pick up your pizza and save the delivery costs!”
Only he said it with legitimate excitement and not an ounce of irony. Not at all like I would say it. In a way that was as demeaning to Dominoes and what they laughingly try to pass off as pizza as possible.
Then as suddenly as he appeared, Random Guy was gone.
It was then that Creepy Guy decided to speak. He made another general announcement to the lobby: “If you want some good food, there is an Outback about a mile up the road.”
Once again, this was said without the slightest bit of irony. I do enjoy the Outback, but if I am in Kansas City do you really think I’m looking for a chain steakhouse?
Shortly after the announcement Jesse was at the front of the line.
He told Angry Front Desk Guy that he was checking in for 2 rooms.
Angry Front Desk Guy asked him if he was paying for both rooms. Jesse indicated that he could leave both rooms on his card for now and they they would settle up in the morning.
Angry Front Desk Guy snarled, “That isn’t what I asked.”
At this point two Pretty Boys entered the lobby. They looked around and then they walked back outside.
I laughed quietly at the Pretty Boys. I knew that they were going outside to have the exact same conversation that Jen, Derrick, Baier and I were having with our eyes. “Do we really want to stay in this dump?”
Derrick had hopped up when Angry Front Desk Guy had snapped at Jesse and had put down a credit card for Derrick and Jen’s room.
As Jesse and Derrick concluded their transaction (we got a 10 dollar discount because the rooms didn’t have phones) with Angry Front Desk Guy, the two Pretty Boys re-entered the hotel lobby. Apparently they had decided to “sack-up” and give the Bates Motel a chance.
We left the lobby and returned to our vehicles. We drove past the abandoned section of the hotel and parked next to our rooms.
Our rooms were on the 2nd floor of the hotel. It was a hotel where the doors face the outside world. Just like God meant for cheap, sleazy hotels to be.
As we packed up our stuff, the two Pretty Boys caught up with us.
We walked up to the 2nd floor on steps that felt that they could conceivably collapse at any moment while making small talk about Cyclone athletics with the Pretty Boys.
The balcony of the 2nd floor did not feel much sturdier than the stairs.
Jen and Derrick entered room 206.
We entered room 212.
The Pretty Boys entered room 214.
There was a rather obvious problem with room 212. The heater had been taken apart and was strewn across the floor.
We walked back out to the balcony. Jesse called the front desk to report our dilemma. The 2 Pretty Boys exited their room at about the same time. They indicated that they weren’t staying at this place and one of them muttered something about cobwebs.
Cobwebs? Whatever Nancy.
The Angry Front Desk Guy told Jesse that if he came down to the front desk he would get us another room. Jesse started the walk to the front desk, when out of nowhere (not literally, he wasn’t a magician) Creepy Guy appeared.
He asked us if we wanted room 214. I didn’t quite understand how he knew that the 2 Pretty Boys weren’t going to stay when they had made that decision literally minutes ago, but we looked around 214 and decided that we could handle a few cobwebs if it meant that we had heat.
Creepy Guy told us that he would run down and get us a key for 214. While we waited for his return, we dumped our stuff in 214.
Jen emerged from 206 and came down to our room. She made a beeline for our bathroom. She looked around in there and then made the announcement that she would be showering there in the morning.
“Your bathroom is that bad?” I inquired.
“There is blood on the door.” She replied.
She took me down to 206. First she pointed out the hole that had been punched in the bathroom door. Then she pointed out about 7 or 8 blood splatters that dotted the bathroom door and the doorway.
Then she opened the door to reveal the bathroom. I’m not sure what the best word to describe their bathroom would be, but “clean” was not it.
“I wouldn’t shower here either.”
As I came out into the clean air of the balcony, Creepy Guy had returned with our key. We locked up our hotel rooms (as if it mattered) and loaded into the Forester for the trip to my Aunt’s house in Easton.
The drive to Easton consisted mostly of Jesse doing an impression of Creepy Guy hitting on Jen that sounded like a mixture of Hannibal Lecter and Forrest Gump and a discussion of what was the strangest text message I had received on this day.
For the record, it went something like this:
Awesome! 4got that was this weekend! Give Derrick and Jen my love. Thanks 4 the pic! Looks like UR all having a blast! My toilet just overflowed 4 no apparent reason. Back 2 trying 2 dry the bathroom floor.
We had a wonderful time at my Aunt’s house. I got to re-connect with my cousins Adam and Jordan and Sarah. My Uncle Mike regaled us with stories of the 20 years he spent working with the “scum of the Earth” in Leavenworth’s prison system. Including a touching story about how he received a Christmas card from a prisoner named “Cold Cuts”. Of course, Cold Cuts earned that nickname for cannibalizing two women when he was a member of polite society.
We returned to the Kansas City version of the Bates Motel. Jen and Derrick to 206. Baier, Jesse and I to 214.
We turned on ESPN to catch up on the rest of the college football scores of the day. After a few minutes there was a knock on the door.
By the looks of the place, I knew it wasn’t housekeeping. I figured there was a decent chance that it was the “live hooker” that Derrick had postulated earlier in the evening might come free with every room. I figured there was also a decent chance that it was a drug dealer making a cold call. If it was, it would not be the first time on this day that I had politely declined drugs. I figured there was also a decent chance that it was Random Guy stopping by to urge us to not pass up the chance to cash in on Dominoes, just across the street. I figured that there was a decent chance that it was Creepy Guy thinking that Jen was staying in this room. He would be wearing his dress bowie, with his hair slicked back and sporting a half bottle of Drakkar Noir coming to woo Jen.
But in the end, it was Jen and Derrick. They came in and sat down.
“Umm…” they began, “We found blood on our sheets.” Then they added, “We are going to find a different hotel.”
“Good decision.” I told them.
They moved slowly toward the door and then Jen turned back and said, “I hope you don’t think this makes us uppity.”
I will NEVER forget her saying that. It was funny and peculiar on so many levels.
They ended up at a hotel in Kearney. At about 1:24 in the morning my phone beeped.
I picked it up and saw that I had a new text message from Jen. It read:
They have a few rms left if u get 2 creepd.
I rolled over and tried to catch some sleep.
When the light started to trickle into the room in the morning I got up. I looked outside. There was a cop car prowling the parking lot checking the license plates of every car in the lot.
I thought to myself, “I’m still alive and what’s more, I’m ready for some Waffle House!!”
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Creepy Guy (Surprise! Drinking Mountain Dew)
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Abandoned?
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Padded Headboards? Swanky!
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You can save yourself the delivery charge!!
I’m considering making a return trip to Kansas City in November. I hope it is adventurous in a different manner.
Friday Night Paint Prep Club – Part B
More pictures from paint prep night.
I got those green chairs from my Aunt Linda to with a sweet white table she was throwing away. Those chairs are surprisingly popular. That is also Shannon showing off her taping skills.
Carla painting the bathroom.
Life Lesson: When working on a ceiling fan, don’t ask for the fan to be turned on when your heads are still in the blades.
Eric dumping out a bucket.
Eric taping it up.
Willy, Jay, Me, Becky, Shannon and Alexis.
Alexis and Teresa washing walls.
Becky and Teresa in the basement.
Teresa and Becky priming the cupboard doors.
Becky on curtain duty.
A stack of cupboard doors.
Another health amount of work had been accomplished. The house was ready for painting day.
Work Half Done
Before delving further into the Cyclone game, I need to post a website.
WEBSITE DELETED
You should check out this website if you live anywhere near Kansas (which according to Google Analytics none of you do, but I am strangely big in Gillette, Wyoming) and head to this sale.
My Aunt Linda is downsizing her possessions as she is looking to move into a smaller house. She has some pretty sweet stuff for sale. I am personally eying the bowl of billiard balls. But there is much, much more.
- 1950 Mar Company metal dollhouses
- Unique small, black Duncan Phyfe table
- 3 Treadle sewing machines
- Washboards
- Wooden rolling pins
- Handmade maple bread boards
- Electric freestanding roaster
- Red & White Graniteware
- Wilton cake pans
- 2 Living Room sets – 4pc & 3pc
- Old kitchen cabinet
- Antique pot belly stove
- 2 antique cook stoves
- 2 Wood desks circa 1950
- Treddle sewing machine base table
- 4′ Oak church pew
- Wooden school desk
- Gossip bench
- Claw-foot bathtub
I don’t even know what a Gossip bench is, but it sounds pretty cool.
To the game…
I am told that “work half-done isn’t done at all”. The Cyclones ended the 2nd Quarter with the game half done and owning a commanding lead.
Reesing
Dance Team
Arnaud
Arnaud
Bass
Flags
Crawford
Robinson
Halfback Pass
Arnaud
Arnaud
Arnaud
Darks
Mahoney
Harris
Mahoney
Cy
Arnaud
Robinson
Arnaud
T-shirt Cannon
Hail Mary
Exit
Cyclones 20 Jayhawks 0
I have to be honest. Sometimes being a Cyclone fan is like being hit in the head with a mallet every morning. I’ve seen the Cyclones blow enough leads in my time that with a 20-0 lead, all I could think about it during halftime was when we fumbled the ball away in the red zone and lost a scoring opportunity.
Dear, Beloved, Precious
My Aunt Linda is renting out her acreage. This has caused her to get rid of some of the things in the acreage. I benefited from this downsizing by getting a sweet new table.
Aunt Linda
So I got Steve and Jesse together and we drove over to the acreage and picked up the sweet table.
Steve and Jesse
When we got back to Steve’s house he showed me the zucchini that had grown “too large” in his garden and now he is going to allow them to rot.
Too Beaucoup
Apparently Steve feels like when zucchini gets too large the seeds become too hard and Steve doesn’t like hard zucchini seeds. I think this makes him soft.
Whatever Jesse does disappoints Steve
So I bid a fond adieu to Steve and Jesse.
Random picture of Steve’s flowers
I went home to admire my new table.
The Sweetness
I’m very excited about this table. It is going to make an awesome workspace table some day. It will be perfect for painting, matting and cutting. Plus it has a drawer! The drawer is super long.
Yes I know that nobody else is as excited about this table as I am, but those of you that don’t see the greatness of this table can bugger off!
Mystery Barn
I spent Saturday morning hanging out in an old barn on my Aunt Linda’s acreage. She had suggested it as a place to find interesting photo subjects. I scouted it out on Thursday night after work and came back on Saturday morning when there was better light so I could shoot everything with available light. All of the pictures on the inside of the barn were shot with only the light that was filtering into the barn through the one door I propped open and holes in the roof. I’m nice and filled up with dust now.
