Category Archives: Life

In This Old Purple Town

“This song is about a man that tells the truth about things that didn’t happen. It seems to be a male thing.”
-Glen Hansard – Introducing “Lies” at First Avenue – July 25, 2010

Most of this comes from an email that I wrote about my weekend in Minnesota.

Sara joined Willy and I for FNSC at The Colorado Grill. After the meal had concluded, Sara and I packed up into the car and headed for Crystal, Minnesota to stay the weekend with her brother Steve and see my favorite band, The Swell Season, in concert.

The trip started with a cloud of sorrow as I was hoping that Jen and Derrick would be joining us for the trip. I had tried to convince them to make the trip even though I knew First Avenue was not a good venue for a 7 month prego to watch a concert. Even if that concert was going to be transcendent. I even went so far as to give Derrick a Mr. T sticker from my childhood sticker book in an attempt to help him see the obvious solution to getting Jen to Minnesota.

My immense powers of persuasion did manage to move them from “no way Jose” all the way to “sitting on the fence”. Unfortunately while they were sitting on that fence a storm with 85 MPH winds came through one Saturday night and shattered the fence and 3 of their favorite trees. This ended my dream of their attendance.

It would not be the last disappointment this weekend.

As I opened up the Buick on the highway, Sara fired up her iPod and we had a Johnny Cash sing-along. At least we did when I knew the words.

Fueled by Johnny Cash and Big League Chew we made it to Steve’s residence in record time.


In this Old Purple Town
Our hosts Steve and Maggie

In this Old Purple Town
Maggie

We woke up in the morning and headed to Harriet Island to watch Flugtag. I was expecting it to be a pretty big deal, but nothing like it ended up being.

I was hoping to find The Britsons down there, but when we got down to the river there were 90,000 people crowded on both sides of the river. We started our day on the north side of the river, but the entrants and all of the “stuff” appeared to be on the south side of the river. So we made the several mile walk to the south side of the river where we met up with Becca.

Flugtag was cool and I’m glad that I went, but I’m not sure I would go again. It was so crowded on the south side of the river that a person could barely turn around. Although one flying craft did set a new world record, almost every other craft just fell 30 feet off the ramp into the water. There were no food vendors and the only drink for sale was Red Bull and they sold out of that before I got my thirst up.

After we met up with Becca we made the several mile trek back to the north side of the river so we could actually see something and breathe.


In this Old Purple Town
On the move to the south side.

In this Old Purple Town
St. Paul

In this Old Purple Town
I don’t know what these people were, besides interesting.

In this Old Purple Town
View from the Bridge

In this Old Purple Town
A “Flying” Craft

In this Old Purple Town
Another Entrant

In this Old Purple Town
Another Entrant

In this Old Purple Town
A Hamburger “Flying” Craft

In this Old Purple Town
It was so crowded on the south side that you couldn’t see anything but the video screen.

In this Old Purple Town
Back to the north side.

In this Old Purple Town
Underneath the bridge.

In this Old Purple Town
Stopping to pose with Becca.

In this Old Purple Town
At least you could see the flight deck from the north side.

In this Old Purple Town
Straight Down

In this Old Purple Town
This would be fun!

In this Old Purple Town
Think it will fly?

In this Old Purple Town
If you said, “Sort of.” You win!

In this Old Purple Town
Sara getting hot, I imagine.

In this Old Purple Town
Becca photographing Flugtag.

In this Old Purple Town
Becca photographing Flugtag.

In this Old Purple Town
It was hot enough and dry enough by the river that Becca went for a refreshing romp through a fountain.

After Flugtag we ate at a joint called Shamrock’s. I had my third Juicy Lucy this year and I’m still declaring Matt’s Bar to have the best in the business.

After the meal we dropped Rebecca off at her car with plans to meet up for supper at a restaurant that I saw on Man vs. Food.

On an episode of Man vs. Food they went to Gasthof zur Gemutilichkeit to try their Meterbratwurst Challenge. I had no desire to try downing a Meter long bratwurst on my own. I had plans for the remainder of the evening and big plans for the next day. I didn’t want to be miserable.

However, I did want to see the Meterwurst and photograph it. So my plan was to try to convince Jill to split one with me despite the ludicrous $8.00 fee for splitting meals. But fate worked against me and Jill had to cancel on Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit because she was pressed into babysitting duty after her friend’s dad had a heart attack.

I regrouped and made a new plan. I talked Becca into splitting the massive bratwurst with me.

Bethany joined us at the restaurant. As did my friend Matthew. Despite the website making a big deal about getting a reservation and the restaurant calling me back twice to confirm the reservation, the restaurant was only about 70% full when we got there.

Then came the biggest disappointment of the trip. They were out of Meterbratwurst. Becca and I ended up splitting some kind of bratwurst plate that was disappointing. Their bratwurst ended up being the blandest tasting bratwurst of my life.

Becca described it perfectly:

“It tastes like a mixture of bland bratwurst and potato bologna.”

That is not a good combination if you aren’t familiar with potato bologna.

Another huge disappointment was the no free refill policy on pop. Are you kidding me? Are we in a Nazi Germany themed restaurant?

On the positive side, the side dishes were excellent and what I ate off of Steve and Sara’s platter was also delicious. Also, the house accordion player belted out an awesome version of Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”. I believe that I have used my immense powers of persuasion to convince Bethany to book the guy for her wedding.

Then after the meal, it got a little bit weird. The waitress approached us and asked us if we wanted some post dinner smokeless snuff.

I passed as I like to keep my body a temple. No alcohol or tobacco in this temple. Only extremely greasy fried foods are allowed in The Bennett Temple.

My five dinner compatriots tried both the spearmint and raspberry “flavors”.

What they do is put a little bit of the snuff on what looks like a teeter totter. Then they place it under your nose. Then when you are ready they slam down on the teeter totter and you breathe in, snorting the “goodness” up your nose.

Gauging from the pictures below, it was a very enjoyable experience.


In this Old Purple Town
Becca wiping her nose.

In this Old Purple Town
Bethany in pain.

In this Old Purple Town
Bethany enjoying her smokeless snuff.

After the meal, I was planning on meeting up with Nate to go to The Uptown Theater to see Troll 2. Troll 2 is supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made, but highly entertaining. It is so bad that there is currently a movie playing art house movie theaters about it called Best Worst Movie. While that fits into my personal sense of humor, I really just want to see a movie in The Uptown Theater.

However, the timing of things just didn’t work out. I ended up outside of Toby Keith’s talking to Lenny about his 50th Birthday Party and his 35 year old wife. I don’t know Lenny or his brother Lorenzo, but they did provide a certain amount of entertainment until Nate picked me up and we went to Perkins so he could have supper.

At Perkins I had a bottomless cup of Cherry Coke. I don’t think I ever appreciated free refills more.

I spent the night at Nate, Bethany and Becca’s place.

The plan was for Bethany, Becca and I to meet up with Steve and Sara for brunch at Hell’s Kitchen, but it turns out that you need to have a reservation to eat there. Hell’s Kitchen will also have to wait until my next trip to Minnesota.

It also turned out that 11 am was too early for Becca to wake up, but I will let it slide since she was up late watching Once.

The substitute for Hell’s Kitchen ended up being Stabby’s Cafe. A small cafe that Bethany had been eying since we drove past it on the way to Matt’s Bar back in February.

It was a tasty little breakfast, although I was slightly disappointed with their logo. It was a knife through a heart. I knew it was a long shot, but I was hoping that they sold t-shirts with a “stabbing hobo” logo.


In this Old Purple Town

There had been much discussion about where we should eat before the concert. Becca had been pushing pretty hard for Azia, but her boyfriend Gelli pushed for his parent’s restaurant: It’s Greek to Me.

Gelli, Becca, Bethany, Jill, Sara, Steve and I met up there before the concert. Gelli kept bring out appetizer after appetizer. Although they were all tremendous, including the Sagnaki, one that really struck me was very simple. It was watermelon with feta cheese on top of it. I thought it looked so extremely weird, but it was so extremely tasty.

I had the Roast Leg of Lamb. It was incredible. Well, I don’t want to go too far with the superlatives though. Because the desert: Kadaifi was truly off the charts when it comes to superlatives. I have spent a few restless nights dreaming about it.

The meal ended up being on the house, but that is not the reason that I highly, highly recommend checking out It’s All Greek to Me if you are anywhere near the Uptown area.

Becca and Gelli left us to go to work. The rest of us made our way to First Avenue. The doors opened at 7. We got there at about 6:20. The line was already around the block.

While there were a few disappointments over the weekend, these were definitely erased by the concert. The Swell Season did not disappoint.

We picked a spot about 50 or so feet from the stage to watch the opening act. The opening act was fair and his voice reminded me of Neil Young and that is a good thing.

After the opening act was done, Bethany, Jill and Sara went outside to smoke. The crowd almost immediately took their spots. It was so compacted in there that it made Flugtag feel like an open field.

A small highlight of the evening for me was when a guitar tech walked across the stage with Glen’s trademark Takamine NP15 and the crowd gave a big cheer.

The Swell Season started the show with my favorite song from Strict Joy, Low Rising. As the song concluded I got a text from Jill. They couldn’t get back to me. They were back by the shirts.

So I made my way through the crowd to get back to them. I made no new friends in this process, but I did make it back to them.

They followed Low Rising with two more songs from Strict Joy: In These Arms and The Rain. Two more great songs.

This was followed by another favorite from Once: Lies. Lies is one of the greatest driving alone and singing songs ever recorded.

Then Marketa took over the vocals for If You Want Me.

She played guitar on their next tune Fantasy Man.

Glen took back over vocals for my 2nd favorite Swell Season song: Leave. This was followed by Back Broke.

Then they played a great cover of Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic. I was very excited to hear a band play a cover of a Van Morrison song that wasn’t Brown Eyed Girl.

They followed this with another Marketa song: I Have Loved You Wrong.

Next was a classic from The Frames: Revelate.

Then they finished up with two great more songs from Once: When Your Mind’s Made Up and the Oscar winning Falling Slowly.

Glen started the encore with a completely unplugged version of my favorite Swell Season song Say it To Me Now. Just him standing at the front of the stage wailing. It was awesome! I had to show Jill that I had goosebumps.

Marketa followed with a new song called Crossroads. I look forward to a time when I am in possession of a recording of it.

There are really only two songs I don’t like in Once. One is Fallen from the Sky that is more than slightly too techno for me. The other is the only song that isn’t performed by The Swell Season. It is called Gold.

Strangely, every musician I know seems to love this song. I think it might be the vocal harmonies that annoy me, but whatever it is, I just don’t like the song.

Gold was the next song they played and I actually enjoyed. The harmonies were less grating in person. Also, the current incarnation of The Swell Season does not include a violinist. Gold is also much more enjoyable without the violin part.

It makes me wonder if I would like Fallen from the Sky live.

Before the final song of the night Glen gave the crowd a vocal lesson and we sang the backing vocals for High Horses.

It was an absolutely amazing show and probably the best concert I’ve ever seen. Even though I had been standing for well over 3 hours I didn’t want the show to end. They could have still played their cover of Springsteen’s Drive All Night that they played at the Hollywood Bowl the week before. Or their cover of The Byrds’ You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere from the I’m Not Here Soundtrack. Or their cover of Candi Staton’s Young Hearts Run Free. Or their cover of The Pixies’ Gigantic that they play on one of their live DVDs. Or numerous other Frames songs like What Happens When the Heart Just Stops or Fitzcarraldo. Or Paper Cup or The Verb from Strict Joy!

But I have no real complaints. Their voices are even better live than they are recorded. I can’t wait until they come around again. Hopefully to a venue where we can sit, but if not, I will still be there.

Megiddo

“DOWN GOES NATURE! DOWN GOES NATURE! DOWN GOES NATURE!”
-The voice of Howard Cosell inside my head

At exactly 10 PM on July 29. 2010, I popped the top on two bottles of Virgil’s Micro-brewed Root Beer and Dawn and I celebrated the end of Hedgegeddon. We had just dumped the final body of my fallen enemies into the burn pile at Scottie D.’s Mom’s place. It was over. Mankind was victorious!

It wasn’t easy though. Nature put up a good fight. I have complete and utter respect for nature, but on this front, I was the victor.

It took quite the effort though:

  • 3 spades were broken
  • 1 shovel met its demise
  • 2 pairs of gloves were destroyed
  • I was forced to bring a hat out of retirement
  • 3 different trucks were used
  • 2 sets of chains
  • 7 different people helped in the process
  • 2 different neighbors stopped by to say that it looked like “hard work”

Thanks to the following people for helping me win my ultimate battle with nature:

  • Scottie D.
  • Jason
  • Derrick
  • Dawn
  • Willy
  • Becky
  • Jesse

We took a few pictures of the ceremonial removing of the final hedge. Scottie D. was there at the beginning and there at the end, so he gets a very special thanks. Plus he even cut down a bonus bush after we removed the final hedge.


Megiddo
The Last Hedge

Megiddo
The Path of Destruction

Megiddo
Dead Hedge Waiting to be Removed

Megiddo
The Last Hedge

Megiddo
Scottie D. and I with the Last Hedge

Megiddo
The Same

Megiddo
The Beginning of the End

Megiddo
The Battle is Almost Won

Megiddo
A Matter of Time…

Megiddo
Down Goes Nature! Down Goes Nature!

Megiddo
Mission Accomplished

Megiddo
Present Arms

Megiddo
Scott claimed that he would be able to cut down this bush in under 1 minute. I pulled out the old Gra Lab Enlarger Timer and timed him.

Megiddo
I haven’t seen a wife prouder of her husband since Jen and Derrick when he took down the Gunderburger.

Megiddo
He didn’t quite make his 1 minute goal, but Scott definitely took this bush down in under 3 minutes.

Megiddo
Doing a little cleanup.

Now that the destruction part of my backyard plan has been completed (for now… I’m looking at you currant bushes) I will be diving head first into my fence building plan.

I smell a fence building party on the horizon!

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Since today is/was an extremely big day for the person that gave me the name “The Incidental Gardener”, I thought I would share a few more things from the files of The Incidental Gardener.

For FNSC last week Carrie, Jason and I helped Nader move some of the hundreds of boxes of movies and paraphernalia into storage. While I was waiting for the Baiers to arrive I took some photos of a lovely flowerbed that sits near Nader’s current apartment. The Incidental Gardener liked what he saw.


Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

I am temporarily storing some of Nader’s movies at my place. While we were dropping off boxes filled with movies, Carrie admired many of my flowers. She asked for my advice on how to grow such a lovely collection of flowers. I offered her some of my wisdom. Here are a few pictures from The Incidental Gardener’s personal collection.


Nature's Amen - 2010

Nature's Amen - 2010

In closing, congratulations to Angie and Jon on their big day!

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done

Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things.
Great people talk about ideas.

When I first began my sentence with the Boone Outpost of the Evil Clown Empire, there was a ludicrous sign posted in the crew room that had this observation written on it. I’m not sure who put the sign up or who they were trying to fool or how much they were trying to lie themselves, but the wage slaves of this joint were at least 60% high school students or middle aged women. Talking about other people is what high school students and middle aged women do.

If that sign is to be believed, I hang out with lots of “small people” because when my entourage and I are hanging around the Photography 139 water cooler, a popular topic of conversation is: “What is the dumbest thing Shannon Bardole has ever done?”

Recently Shannon took this topic of discussion off the table forever. Recently Shannon did something so foolish, so ill-conceived that there is no longer even the minutest amount of room for debate.

When I moved into my humble abode I found a few things that the previous occupants left behind. Amongst those things was two jars of pickles.

My first (and the only rational inclination) was to dispose of these potentially toxic inedibles in the nearest refuse bin and forget that they ever existed.

I did not do what logic and safety dictates because Shannon insisted that she would like to try these homemade pickles that she had no information on. I mostly thought she was blowing hot air as people are prone to do, but I maintained ownership of the pickles just in case.


Left Behind
The Highly Suspect Pickles

On the night of my Birthday Barbecue she did in fact remove a pickle from this jar and eat at least 50% of the pickle.

That was over a month ago and last I knew Shannon was still alive, but eating a pickle from this jar is still “The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done”.

On a completely unrelated note, she also recently jumped out of a plane. Here are some pictures:


Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
More Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Even More Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Her Noble Steed

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Landing Practice, I Believe

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
More Noble Steed

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
The Pilot Explaining Aviation to Todd

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Photographing Another Skydiver

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Peggy Photographing Another Skydiver

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
It is surprising what passes for “Authorized Activities” in this day and age.

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Shannon did not get to jump on the first day because it was too windy and she is too Lilliputian.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
More Training

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Strapped In

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The Protective Helmet

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Danger?

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Fashionable Safety Goggles

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Loading Up

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds…and done a hundred things

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
You have not dreamed of…wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
It is hard to figure out what happened in the previous picture, so hopefully this helps.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Up, up, the long, delirious burning blue
I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Where never lark, nor even eagle flew.
And while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The high untrespassed sanctity of space…
…put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
I should have found a longer poem.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The Cyclone Parachute

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Almost to the Ground

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Closer…

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Terra Firma

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Boring Terra Firma

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Seems Like a Fist Bump Might Have Been in Order Here

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Packing up and Going Home

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
This is kind of a random image. Todd wanted me to take a picture of the barbed wire, so here is that picture.

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

For reasons that are slightly inexplicable to me, I ended up in Beaver, Iowa yesterday morning. I’ve always felt that Beaver is a town that looks like it “walked” out of a horror movie. For this reason I once (years and years ago) took a series of pictures called “The Beaver Machete Massacre Project”.

It had been several years since I have wandered through the nearly abandoned streets of Beaver. In my absence the town has become even more of a ghost town. It has fallen even farther apart.

I did not spend much time in Beaver because I was meeting Teresa and Logan for lunch, but I did take a few images.


Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

I am a big fan of modern ruins, so I will have to return to Beaver at some point for a Personal Photo Project when I have more time and a full supply of insect repellent.

Because I’m not 100% sure that Beaver isn’t a real life horror story, I will have to bring at least a couple of photo assistants with me for protection. Preferably the kind that have lots of pre-marital sex, drink lots of beer and do lots of drugs. The type that wear impractical shoes and fall down a lot while I’m running to my car (that will never be shutoff) to escape a chainsaw wielding maniac covered in the skin of his previous victims are the most desirable.