Category Archives: Life

Megiddo

“DOWN GOES NATURE! DOWN GOES NATURE! DOWN GOES NATURE!”
-The voice of Howard Cosell inside my head

At exactly 10 PM on July 29. 2010, I popped the top on two bottles of Virgil’s Micro-brewed Root Beer and Dawn and I celebrated the end of Hedgegeddon. We had just dumped the final body of my fallen enemies into the burn pile at Scottie D.’s Mom’s place. It was over. Mankind was victorious!

It wasn’t easy though. Nature put up a good fight. I have complete and utter respect for nature, but on this front, I was the victor.

It took quite the effort though:

  • 3 spades were broken
  • 1 shovel met its demise
  • 2 pairs of gloves were destroyed
  • I was forced to bring a hat out of retirement
  • 3 different trucks were used
  • 2 sets of chains
  • 7 different people helped in the process
  • 2 different neighbors stopped by to say that it looked like “hard work”

Thanks to the following people for helping me win my ultimate battle with nature:

  • Scottie D.
  • Jason
  • Derrick
  • Dawn
  • Willy
  • Becky
  • Jesse

We took a few pictures of the ceremonial removing of the final hedge. Scottie D. was there at the beginning and there at the end, so he gets a very special thanks. Plus he even cut down a bonus bush after we removed the final hedge.


Megiddo
The Last Hedge

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The Path of Destruction

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Dead Hedge Waiting to be Removed

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The Last Hedge

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Scottie D. and I with the Last Hedge

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The Same

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The Beginning of the End

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The Battle is Almost Won

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A Matter of Time…

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Down Goes Nature! Down Goes Nature!

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Mission Accomplished

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Present Arms

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Scott claimed that he would be able to cut down this bush in under 1 minute. I pulled out the old Gra Lab Enlarger Timer and timed him.

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I haven’t seen a wife prouder of her husband since Jen and Derrick when he took down the Gunderburger.

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He didn’t quite make his 1 minute goal, but Scott definitely took this bush down in under 3 minutes.

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Doing a little cleanup.

Now that the destruction part of my backyard plan has been completed (for now… I’m looking at you currant bushes) I will be diving head first into my fence building plan.

I smell a fence building party on the horizon!

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Since today is/was an extremely big day for the person that gave me the name “The Incidental Gardener”, I thought I would share a few more things from the files of The Incidental Gardener.

For FNSC last week Carrie, Jason and I helped Nader move some of the hundreds of boxes of movies and paraphernalia into storage. While I was waiting for the Baiers to arrive I took some photos of a lovely flowerbed that sits near Nader’s current apartment. The Incidental Gardener liked what he saw.


Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

Dr. The Incidental Gardener

I am temporarily storing some of Nader’s movies at my place. While we were dropping off boxes filled with movies, Carrie admired many of my flowers. She asked for my advice on how to grow such a lovely collection of flowers. I offered her some of my wisdom. Here are a few pictures from The Incidental Gardener’s personal collection.


Nature's Amen - 2010

Nature's Amen - 2010

In closing, congratulations to Angie and Jon on their big day!

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done

Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things.
Great people talk about ideas.

When I first began my sentence with the Boone Outpost of the Evil Clown Empire, there was a ludicrous sign posted in the crew room that had this observation written on it. I’m not sure who put the sign up or who they were trying to fool or how much they were trying to lie themselves, but the wage slaves of this joint were at least 60% high school students or middle aged women. Talking about other people is what high school students and middle aged women do.

If that sign is to be believed, I hang out with lots of “small people” because when my entourage and I are hanging around the Photography 139 water cooler, a popular topic of conversation is: “What is the dumbest thing Shannon Bardole has ever done?”

Recently Shannon took this topic of discussion off the table forever. Recently Shannon did something so foolish, so ill-conceived that there is no longer even the minutest amount of room for debate.

When I moved into my humble abode I found a few things that the previous occupants left behind. Amongst those things was two jars of pickles.

My first (and the only rational inclination) was to dispose of these potentially toxic inedibles in the nearest refuse bin and forget that they ever existed.

I did not do what logic and safety dictates because Shannon insisted that she would like to try these homemade pickles that she had no information on. I mostly thought she was blowing hot air as people are prone to do, but I maintained ownership of the pickles just in case.


Left Behind
The Highly Suspect Pickles

On the night of my Birthday Barbecue she did in fact remove a pickle from this jar and eat at least 50% of the pickle.

That was over a month ago and last I knew Shannon was still alive, but eating a pickle from this jar is still “The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done”.

On a completely unrelated note, she also recently jumped out of a plane. Here are some pictures:


Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
More Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Even More Training

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Her Noble Steed

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Landing Practice, I Believe

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
More Noble Steed

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
The Pilot Explaining Aviation to Todd

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Photographing Another Skydiver

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Peggy Photographing Another Skydiver

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
It is surprising what passes for “Authorized Activities” in this day and age.

Shannon Skydive First Attempt
Shannon did not get to jump on the first day because it was too windy and she is too Lilliputian.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
More Training

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Strapped In

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The Protective Helmet

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Danger?

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Fashionable Safety Goggles

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Loading Up

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds…and done a hundred things

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
You have not dreamed of…wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
It is hard to figure out what happened in the previous picture, so hopefully this helps.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Up, up, the long, delirious burning blue
I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Where never lark, nor even eagle flew.
And while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The high untrespassed sanctity of space…
…put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
I should have found a longer poem.

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
The Cyclone Parachute

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Almost to the Ground

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Closer…

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Terra Firma

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Boring Terra Firma

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Seems Like a Fist Bump Might Have Been in Order Here

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
Packing up and Going Home

The Dumbest Thing Shannon Bardole has Ever Done
This is kind of a random image. Todd wanted me to take a picture of the barbed wire, so here is that picture.

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

For reasons that are slightly inexplicable to me, I ended up in Beaver, Iowa yesterday morning. I’ve always felt that Beaver is a town that looks like it “walked” out of a horror movie. For this reason I once (years and years ago) took a series of pictures called “The Beaver Machete Massacre Project”.

It had been several years since I have wandered through the nearly abandoned streets of Beaver. In my absence the town has become even more of a ghost town. It has fallen even farther apart.

I did not spend much time in Beaver because I was meeting Teresa and Logan for lunch, but I did take a few images.


Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

Welcome to Beaver, Iowa

I am a big fan of modern ruins, so I will have to return to Beaver at some point for a Personal Photo Project when I have more time and a full supply of insect repellent.

Because I’m not 100% sure that Beaver isn’t a real life horror story, I will have to bring at least a couple of photo assistants with me for protection. Preferably the kind that have lots of pre-marital sex, drink lots of beer and do lots of drugs. The type that wear impractical shoes and fall down a lot while I’m running to my car (that will never be shutoff) to escape a chainsaw wielding maniac covered in the skin of his previous victims are the most desirable.

The Incidental Gardener Files

I am thinking of adding a weekly segment to this journal where lesser gardeners can ask me questions about how I became such a super badass gardener and I would sprinkle my nuggets of wisdom on them. If you have any questions, leave them in the Comments section of this journal entry and I may answer your question next week.

Monday night was Round 3 of the epic struggle between Man(kind) and Nature known as Hedgegeddon. Round 1 went to Nature in a very decisive manner. Very decisive. Round 2 was even more of a rout as 4 people backed out with severe cases of fear and trepidation.

Round 3 was the clearly won by Mankind though. It started out rough as the first two hedges eluded the grasp of the chain and remained in the ground. However, after a change in strategy, it was all Mankind.

We managed to completely remove the entire South Hedge without killing and/or maiming the hollyhocks.

Although I clearly intend to win this epic struggle before it goes to the judges’ scorecards, this is what the scorecard looks like at this moment:

Round 1 – Nature 10-8
Round 2 – Nature 10-8
Round 3 – Mankind 10-9
Total – Nature 29-26

Even though I(we) are clearly trailing in the battle at this moment, I can already hear Howard Cosell’s voice bellowing in my head as the last hedge comes free from terra firma:

“Down goes Nature! Down goes Nature! Down goes Nature!”

But in a good way, not in the BP way.

Here are a few pictures that show off some of my super badass gardening skills:


The Incidental Gardener Files

Nature's Amen - 2010

The Incidental Gardener Files

Girl in the Blue Skirt - 2010

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Nature's Amen - 2010

Nature's Amen - 2010

The Incidental Gardener Files

Happy Things - 2010

The Incidental Gardener Files

Nature's Amen - 2010

Nature's Amen - 2010

Sorrow and Gladness - 2010

Sorrow and Gladness - 2010

Sorrow and Gladness - 2010

Girl in the Blue Skirt - 2010

The Incidental Gardener Files

Although I like to use the hollyhocks to make lesser gardeners jealous, it is my moss rose that makes me the most proud. I am excited because I have some lilies that are just getting ready to bloom. Plus my coneflowers are almost ready to bloom. I’m guessing that it won’t be long before the moonflower buds and blooms. It is an exciting time for my yard.

Unaffiliated Triad

A collection of unrelated photos and stories…

Bill’s Return

Bill returned to Boone briefly on Saturday. A few pictures from our time together.


Unaffiliated Triad

At FNSC Willy agreed to attempt to eat ice cream on 100 straight days. At first he balked at attempting such a thing, but the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He shook hands on the deal and “locked it in”. Saturday was Day 15 of this new challenge. He had a Dairy Queen banana split.


Unaffiliated Triad

Unaffiliated Triad

Unaffiliated Triad

In February of 2005 Jay talked Bill into coming back from Nebraska so that Jay could film a sequel to our “hit” Games. It has been over 5 years since that cold day in Ledges and Jay has yet to complete and release Games 2. In the pictures above, Bill is asking Jay to give up “editing” of Games 2 and give the footage to somebody that would finish the movie. Jay is enjoying Bill’s frustration as much as Willy enjoys ice cream. Willy is enjoying Bill’s frustration and Jay’s enjoyment of Bill’s frustration.


Unaffiliated Triad
A Group Photo


Cherry Tree

A couple of people from my Church came over and picked some cherries from the cherry tree.


Unaffiliated Triad

Unaffiliated Triad

Unaffiliated Triad
I got a cherry pie out of the deal.

A Deer

A couple pictures of a deer relaxing behind the Computer Mine.


Unaffiliated Triad

Unaffiliated Triad