Category Archives: Jesse

Smell the Mendacity

I said that I would not post a full image of Jay until he returned to Friday Night Supper Club. Tonight he made his return. To celebrate I post this old timey picture of a much younger and carefree Jay.

Jay, Jesse and I had made plans to attend Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at Stephens Auditorium. Jay actually shed his sellout label and told the man that he was taking a Friday night off. He joined Willy and I for FNSC at Okoboji Grill.

Jesse sent me a text message 37 minutes before the curtain rose stating that he would not be joining us. We could not get Willy to join us because he is not very secure in his sexuality. That is a shame because although I’ve been known to work miracles now and again, the window was just too small and Jesse’s ticket went unused.

I have not read the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I have seen the movie starring the great Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor. I knew that the movie had to change the subtext of the main character’s homosexuality to his refusal to grow up. However, I felt in this production of the play the question of his homosexuality was still unresolved.

I’m now curious to know how this issue is dealt with in the play. In the movie I believe that they used the actual phrase “cat on a hot tin roof” once. In this production they used the phrase at least 4 or 5 times. It felt really awkward and  I would like to know what was in the original play.

Overall, the play was good but not great. It was the third show I’ve seen at Stephens this season. Hairspray would still be the highlight of the season for me, but I’m still going to see Chicago in the next couple of weeks.

Teresa and I are also going to some kind of party in a couple of weeks where they announce next season’s slate of shows. That is pretty sweet.

The Roundball Oracles: Year 4

2005-William McAlpine
2006-William McAlpine
2007-Tim Peterson

Now the name Mark Wolfram will sit proudly next to theirs. The miracle comeback of Kansas made them champions. It also made Mark the third champion of The Roundball Oracles (An NCAA tournament pool).

The Final Standings:

  1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) 136 points
  2. Lowell Davis (Davis) 114 points
  3. Jesse Howard (Goldie’s Bracket Brilliance) 108 points
  4. Dan Dill (dandydan) 92 points
  5. Corey Faust (UCLA Love) 90 points
  6. Jason Baier (Baier’s Winning Bracket) 90 points
  7. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) 87 points
  8. Toby Sebring (esgefhg) 85 points
  9. Me (The Zechariah of the Hardwood) 85 points
  10. Willy McAlpine (william) 84 points
  11. Bill Wentworth (Bill’s) 84 points
  12. Frank Meiners (FHM) 75 points
  13. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill allstars) 73 points
  14. Robert Henning (Drake Bandwagon) 64 points
  15. Russell Kennerly (Fighting Grossmans) 61 points

A trophy has been ordered and will be given to Mark when he returns from Taiwan. I miss college basketball already.

Test Camera

A few months ago Nader gave me a camera to test for his trip to London. I put in a roll of film and took some test shots. Then I put the camera away and forgot about it. I finally finished off the roll and got it developed. I thought I would share some of the images, not because of any of them are particularly interesting, but because maybe they are interesting as a whole. A study of intermittent shots taking over time from a forgotten camera.

Computer Mine Basketball Hoop



Self Portrait

Fat Jake

Jay Snuggly

Fat Jake

Willy: Keeper of Fat Jake

Fat Jake




Party in Jesse’s Office



Deer through Windows of “The Quad”

Computer Mine Basketball Hoop

The Lost Quarter

Yesterday while I was slaving away in the Computer Mine, I came across something curious. While it is true that I frequently come across something curious in the Mine, this seemed to be a different kind of strange.

When I get to come out of the darkness of the mine and out into the light at work, it is frequently related to shipping. The 2 company vending machines are located next to the shipping area. As I was getting ready to ship out a freshly mined credit card reader I noticed a note taped to one of the vending machines:


I concede that very few people at the Computer Mine are getting filthy rich, but I doubt that anybody that works here is in such dire financial straits that they desperately need that one quarter.

It turns out though that my initial inclinations about this note were wrong. I thought Judy had found an extra quarter in the change slot of the vending machine and taped it up, in case somebody came back looking for their quarter.

In fact, Judy just posted the note because the vending machine had stolen her quarter. Jesse saw this note, went back to his office, grabbed a quarter, went back to the vending machine and taped a quarter to the note.

I guess in the future, any time that gas prices are making me feel pain in my wallet, I’ll just post a note on the vending machine asking for like 50 bucks. Maybe somebody will tape up some cash for me.

Although there has to be an easier way to financial security. If only there was some church out there that would send me a prayer rug that I could use and then fill out exactly how much money I want God to give me and then send them 50 bucks and then God would just give me that money. If only there was something like that out there.

Rambo Platoon

Tonight was the big Rambo night. Below is a picture of the gentlemen that made their way to our local multiplex to view Rambo with me.


Pictured left to right: Jeff, Yours Truly, Scottie D., Jesse, Derrick, Jason Baier, Jay, Andree and Greg.

Not pictured is Russell. He finally relented to viewing Rambo despite contending that his “self respect was not expendable”. However, Russell took off immediately after the film and is not in the photo.

Preceding the movie was a dinner and Rambo discussion. Almost everybody shared a favorite Rambo moment from the past. I will publish those in due course, after I compile my own personal list of my ten favorite Rambo moments.

Jaycees Run

I am a big fan of the 1976 science fiction classic Logan’s Run. So much so that I used the movie as the basis for the invitations to a birthday party a few years back.

Bennett's Run
Jesse and Andy as Sandmen. Me as a runner. Notice the greenish hue of the picture caused by the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom.

I went to an Ames Jaycees meeting on Thursday night. I don’t care to report much of the meeting, except that there was one point during the meeting when it came time to discuss members renewing their membership for 2008. For some reason this lead to a brief period of time when some people chanted: “Renew! Renew! Renew!”

The Jaycees already remind me of Logan’s Run because in Logan’s Run when you turn 30 you are required to go to Carousel and renew. If you choose not to go to Carousel, Sandmen hunt you down and terminate you.

When you reach the age of 40, you also get the boot from the Jaycees.

The resemblance got taken up a notch by the “Renew!” chant. When you go to Carousel in Logan’s Run, the crowd chants “Renew!” as well.


One other thing that came out of the meeting is that I found a new home for the KU basketball calendar. It hung on my wall at work a full week. Then I decided that it might need a new home, so I deposited it where I think all KU things belong.


It turns out that the President of the Ames Jaycees has questionable taste in sporting teams and roots for Kansas. Eventually that calendar will be heading in her direction. She can enjoy the 3 pictures of Drew Gooden and the picture of the KU mascot that is clearly taken at a football game. In the week that the calendar hung on my wall, the corners were already starting to bend. They didn’t try too hard when they made this calendar. Maybe KU fans don’t demand or expect excellence like Iowa State fans.

Notes from Yesterday

I got another mysterious fortune yesterday. I lunched at The Mandarin with Frank and Jesse. We had a lengthy conversation about bathroom etiquette at the Computer Mine. Then I got this fortune:


I have yet to get that offer. I’m standing by and I’ll let you know when I get it.

Jesse came in and gave me the thing in the picture below:


I think this proves that Mentos has realized that as a candy or mint their product is lacking. However, as something to be dropped into a two liter bottle of Diet Dr. Thunder, they are it. I think you know what kind of pictures are going to get posted here in the near future.

A few days back I purchased a small mirror from Wal-Mart. It was designed to hold a candle. I was looking to put a couple cracks in the mirror and use it for a photography project. I got out my trusty hammer and whacked it. Softly. Then a little harder. Then a little harder. All that whacking produced not a crack. I decided I was going to have to get a bit tougher. I cover the mirror with a towel and gave it a harder hit. Then a harder hit. Then I brought the thunder:


The mirror didn’t crack a little bit. It shattered into about a thousand pieces. I’ll probably be going to the Goodwill store to find another mirror to take out this weekend.

The Hot Hand

I’m not a big gambler, but the last two wagers I have participated in, I have been the victor. This entry is really just a reminder to Jesse that in a little more than 2 months we will be sitting in theatre watching the movie below on his dime because he foolishly made a wager with me:


I’m a sucker for any movie that relates to an 80s movie. I’m still waiting for the sequel to Just One of the Guys.


This is a small collection of 4 different stories about 4 different people.


I really only wanted two birthday presents this past year. One was stained glass from Jen. I got that back in May. The second present was a painting from Monica. I got that on Wednesday.

She painted it on an old window that came out of my mom’s house when she got new windows. Monica struggled with this painting a little bit because she felt that I would want something with bright colors and she doesn’t usually use bright colors in her painting. I think the struggle was worth it. I think it is a masterful work that I will display proudly next to the works of Jay Janson, Jen Ensley and Rebecca Peterson.


I posted plenty of fall color pictures, but what I didn’t do was give proper credit to Jesse for manning an umbrella for me on one of the days when it was raining.

Jesse - Photo Assistant

If you have ever wondered about what the glamor of being a photo assistant for me looks like, it kind of looks like that picture above.


We celebrated what Nader claims to be his 21st birthday on Sunday. We went to see Darjeeling Limited and then ate at King Buffet.


Jay wants to record my ramblings about movies and edit them into some kind of coherent movie review. If this works out, the first of these reviews will be Darjeeling Limited.

Jason Baier

I think most people that know me know about B.B.A.T. Jason Baier was inspired by my recent pictures of lumberjack Janson and grew himself a beard. I documented this beard and the results are these pictures.

Jason Beardo

Jason Beardo

Jason Beardo

Jason Beardo

As you know, the second part about my theory is related to grooming. Jason tried to complicate my theory by growing a hybrid beard. The top of the beard is completely natural and allowed to run wild. However, he decided to get a little freaky (I must say that I do not like this aspect of his beard one bit) and shave the lower half of the beard. I was not able to gather enough data about his general demeanor to figure out where this creepy hybrid beard will fit into B.B.A.T. I hope that I’m never near enough to a hybrid beard again to collect such data.

HP Laserjet 4100

I’ve learned a few things toiling in the computer mine. The most valuable bit of new knowledge I have gained is how completely worthless UPS is as a shipper. I’ve learned that if you have an option other than UPS, be it Federal Express, DHL, Speedee Delivery, or a crackhead with a mule, you are better off with the crackhead and their mule than trusting anything with the boys in brown.

The most recent thing that UPS has managed to smash into little tiny bits was an HP Laserjet 4100. No small feat considering that this printer is mostly made out of metal. No cheap feat either considering that this printer used to damage a guy’s wallet to the tune of a thousand bucks.

The latest destruction by UPS did allow me to test myself. You see back when I used to work nights at the Dasher Mismanagement dive in Boone I was the master of Milk Crate Toss. I could throw a milk crate into the corral from 70 feet, easy. Nobody could top me for distance and accuracy.

This skill has not come into play much in the last few years, but once I got my hands on that LJ 4100 I knew I needed to see if I still had it. I had Jesse snap some photos of me testing me. It was dark, so these pictures are what they are:







It makes me wonder how I would still fair in events where I was competitive but not dominant. Events like Jug Kicking, Ditch Hockey or Playplace Tag. I already know that if Jeff Vickers and I were ever to walk onto a Paper Towel Football field we would still dominate the competition.

I’m sure I would be remiss if I failed to point out that my near infinite range with the milk crate did lead me to once hitting The Edge in the head with a milk crate from about 50 feet. Although I felt bad and did take him to the emergency room to have staples put in his head, I still have to admire the throw.