Category Archives: Nader

Black & White, Movies, Nader, Photoshop, Portrait

Real American

June 2, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

The job posting for a Scab Nader has been closed. Nader has returned to the United States from his trip to visit family in London. We celebrated his return to the States with a meal at King Buffet and a viewing of Prince Caspian.

While eating the semi-edibles at King Buffet, Nader wowed me with his tales of London. One of his tales made me particularly proud. Proud of me. Proud that I have had an influence for the good on this man.

However, there was disturbing aspect of Nader’s return that I had to document. He came home with a way creepy mustache. I think you all know what I believe about mustaches and the men that wear them. He swore to me that he would shave it that night while he was shaving his head. I hope so. Nothing good ever comes from a man growing a mustache.

Creepy Mustache

Look at Yourself

I’m unable to look at that mustache.

Even this cool hat doesn’t help out that mustache.

One last bonus image.

Although I can not in good conscience endorse his facial hair selection, Nader did do one thing in London that makes me very proud.

A few months back Nader joined up with my Rambo Platoon for a viewing of Rambo. This was the first time that Nader had seen a Rambo movie in the theater. He groused about it for days. However, I assured him that although he has been a naturalized citizen for nearly 20 years, it was this viewing of Rambo that made it official that he was a Real American. I even told him that he should get a Certificate of Real Americanism from the Real American Bureau some time this year. (Note to self, need to fake up that certificate at some point.)

While he was in London his mom put pressure on him to move to London so that he could be closer to family.

He told her the following:

“Mom, I’ve seen Rambo now. Once you’ve seen Rambo you are a Real American and can’t move out of the United States.”

I am so proud.

Of course a 64 year old woman living in Tehran doesn’t have the foggiest clue who Rambo is, but that hardly matters.

While I was tearing carpet out of the basement with Jay on Saturday we came across a Rambo toy gun from my youth. I might give that to Nader to show him my appreciation for spreading the Rambo message to Tehran.

On a personal note: Even though Rambo is just a terrible, terrible movie, it isn’t anywhere near as insulting to the franchise as that awful Crystal Skull movie. I’m still angry about it.

Nader, Postcard

Greetings from London

April 29, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

You will most likely appreciate this a little bit more if you actually know Nader, because this is Classic Nader.

I haven’t traveled farther than Des Moines from my front door this entire year. Yes, I know that is exceedingly pathetic and that error will be corrected in roughly 9 days. I don’t want to give too much away, but my plans involve a really big Jesus.

Fortunately for me I have friends and family that travel and I can live vicariously through them. When people I know go to interesting places and ask me what I want, I tell them postcards. Only, I don’t want a pile of postcards when they get back. I want the postcards to be mailed to me.

Yesterday I went to the mailbox and found a postcard waiting for me that Nader had sent me from London.

Front

Back

It is worth noting that I didn’t do any digital magic to the back of the postcard. That is how Nader sent it to me. No message, just a simple: “From: Nader”. I’m telling you, it is Classic Nader.

Andree, Baier, Commercial, Derrick, Faust, Formal Portrait, Jay, Jesse, Nader, Russell, Shannon, Willy

Little White Lye Bonus

April 27, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

What you are about to experience is bits of a national advertising campaign that I would suggest that Little White Lye Soap launch immediately. However, I don’t have much pull in that department. So we’ll have to see what happens.

These pictures are of the actual models that I would use, but the background is not the background that I would use, for most of the models because I just took a picture of them the first time that I ran into them. Just imagine that the background is consistent with the quote underneath the characters.

“After a long day of kissing babies and pressing flesh, nothing cleans off the smell of constituent like Little White Lye Soap.”

“Oh my! After a long evening at the theater with Tennessee Williams, nothing cleans off the powerful odor of mendacity like Little White Lye Soap.”

“Nothing relaxes me and makes me ready for sleep after a long day’s work than a hot shower with Little White Lye Soap.”

“After a long morning of schooling chumps, nothing takes the rank of other people’s failures and broken dreams off me like Little White Lye Soap.”

“After a long night of grinding on the honeys in the clubs, nothing rids a dance machine of the stench of barfly like Little White Lye Soap.”

“There is just no way around it, I’m a handsome man and Little White Lye keeps me handsome by making me clean, while being gentle on my sensitive skin.”

My woman likes my skin to be soft to the touch and Little White Lye Soap keeps my skin soft and that makes my woman happy.”

“After a long night of rocking, Little White Lye Soap cleans off the reek of groupie and leaves me smelling fresh in the morning.”

“After a long day at the office explaining to old people that their 401K dropping 25% in value in the last week is just a normal market fluctuation I feel morally dirty. Nothing restores me to moral equilibrium like a long bath with Little White Lye Soap.”

I imagine these running in GQ. I’ll have to wait and see what the boss says.

Andree, Baier, Derrick, Faust, Jay, Jesse, Nader, Russell, Willy

Mendacious

April 20, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

Over the last few days I have intermittently worked on some photos for a big product endorsement I’m going to be doing in the very near future. I asked a few friends to pose for the picture, without giving them any information. I would have thought that our friendship would have been enough for them to just sign on to be willing participants for my photo experiments. I learned that some of my friends just don’t trust me that much. Here is a break down of friends that trust me and friends that need to ask questions constantly:

Friends that Trust

Baier
Jesse
Nader
Russell
Faust
Derrick

Friends that Don’t Trust

Jay
Willy
Andree

I don’t know if these guys are just the untrusting sort or if I have wronged them at some point in our past.

Baier, Movies, Nader

Looking for a Scab

April 17, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett 6 Comments

The Baiers and I took Nader out for supper tonight. He leaves for London to be reunited with his family on Saturday. He will be there for six weeks.

That is excellent news for him, but that leaves me without a movie buddy. So I might put out a Help Wanted Ad for a Temp.

Help Wanted

Scab Nader – Temporary position that could last up to six weeks. Job responsibilities involve going to movies with me. Must love art house movies, independent films, foreign films and documentaries. It would be considered a bonus if any applicant can change the name of movies they don’t like with the use of mild profanity. Example: Lord of the Crap. Applicants should forward their resume and list of favorite movies to bennett@photography139.com. Applicants that include Sin City or Transformers will have their resumes shredded and then burned. I don’t care what the Equal Opportunity Laws say.

I wonder if I will get any applicants.

Animals, Basketball, Candid Portrait, Flowers, Jay, Jesse, Nader, Nature, Night, Schmidt, Self-Portrait, Vest, Willy

Test Camera

February 26, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

A few months ago Nader gave me a camera to test for his trip to London. I put in a roll of film and took some test shots. Then I put the camera away and forgot about it. I finally finished off the roll and got it developed. I thought I would share some of the images, not because of any of them are particularly interesting, but because maybe they are interesting as a whole. A study of intermittent shots taking over time from a forgotten camera.

Computer Mine Basketball Hoop

Flowers

Self Portrait

Fat Jake

Jay Snuggly

Fat Jake

Willy: Keeper of Fat Jake

Fat Jake

Experiment

Vest

Frame

Party in Jesse’s Office

Cory

Deer

Deer through Windows of “The Quad”

Computer Mine Basketball Hoop

Bowling, Mark, Nader, Nate, Sara, Willy

Moandays

February 12, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

I find myself suddenly surrounded by world travelers. Sara left for Panama on Thursday. Nader is heading to London in a few weeks. Willy is visiting Peru (most likely) in a couple of months. Me? I think Des Moines is the furthest I’ve traveled this year. Wow, that suddenly seems really pathetic.

I got an e-mail from Mark on Monday. He sent me a couple of pictures from his recent trip to Vietnam.

Ha Long Bay

Mark in Vietnam

Mark was in Vietnam putting on a workshop on teaching English. He also got to see some POW camps and Ho Chi Minh’s grave. I’m trying not to be jealous of Mark, but it isn’t working out so well.

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you…

I talked to Nate last night. I had long heard rumors that he was leaving the Tuscon area. His housemate had flaked out and it was time for him to move on. The rumor mill spat out three locations where Nate might be moving. There was Phoenix, there was Minneapolis, and there was Boone. I finally got a hold of Nate last night and it turns out that he chose the most beautiful and exotic of locales and will be returning to Boone as soon as his house in Tuscon gets rented. This might very well be a brief stop as he looks for lucrative employment in his chosen profession, (kicking ass and taking names in the kitchen) but it will be good to have him back in the area for at least a little while.

This is 10% luck, 20% skill; 15% concentrated power of will…

125 145 151
127 140 183
145 139 167
160 143 183

Those numbers represent my bowling scores from the last 4 weeks. I don’t discuss my bowling league much. I don’t take pride in my bowling. I’m probably in the bottom 10 of the bowlers in the league. However, those numbers are respectable by my standards. Yet, despite putting up decent numbers, I was in a horrible slump. I had not earned a single point against human competition since before Christmas.

Then last night I had a breakthrough. I was lined up against Matt Haub. I’ve known Matt for several years. We used to work together. So I felt a little bad that my breakthrough came against him, but I still need to celebrate that I swept him and my nearly two month long streak of futility has come to an end.

I defeated him by scores of:

160-136 (231-217 with handicap)
143-114 (214-195)
183-126 (254-207)

Maybe it was more a product of Matt having a bad night, but after 2 months of wandering in the desert, I’ll take it.

Andree, Baier, Derrick, Jay, Jeff Kewer, Jesse, Movies, Nader, Scottie D.

Rambo Platoon

January 27, 2008 Christopher D. Bennett 1 Comment

Tonight was the big Rambo night. Below is a picture of the gentlemen that made their way to our local multiplex to view Rambo with me.

Pictured left to right: Jeff, Yours Truly, Scottie D., Jesse, Derrick, Jason Baier, Jay, Andree and Greg.

Not pictured is Russell. He finally relented to viewing Rambo despite contending that his “self respect was not expendable”. However, Russell took off immediately after the film and is not in the photo.

Preceding the movie was a dinner and Rambo discussion. Almost everybody shared a favorite Rambo moment from the past. I will publish those in due course, after I compile my own personal list of my ten favorite Rambo moments.

Baier, Becca, Jay, Jen, Jesse, Monica, Movies, Nader

B.B.A.T.

November 1, 2007 Christopher D. Bennett

This is a small collection of 4 different stories about 4 different people.

Monica

I really only wanted two birthday presents this past year. One was stained glass from Jen. I got that back in May. The second present was a painting from Monica. I got that on Wednesday.

She painted it on an old window that came out of my mom’s house when she got new windows. Monica struggled with this painting a little bit because she felt that I would want something with bright colors and she doesn’t usually use bright colors in her painting. I think the struggle was worth it. I think it is a masterful work that I will display proudly next to the works of Jay Janson, Jen Ensley and Rebecca Peterson.

Jesse

I posted plenty of fall color pictures, but what I didn’t do was give proper credit to Jesse for manning an umbrella for me on one of the days when it was raining.

If you have ever wondered about what the glamor of being a photo assistant for me looks like, it kind of looks like that picture above.

Nader

We celebrated what Nader claims to be his 21st birthday on Sunday. We went to see Darjeeling Limited and then ate at King Buffet.

Jay wants to record my ramblings about movies and edit them into some kind of coherent movie review. If this works out, the first of these reviews will be Darjeeling Limited.

Jason Baier

I think most people that know me know about B.B.A.T. Jason Baier was inspired by my recent pictures of lumberjack Janson and grew himself a beard. I documented this beard and the results are these pictures.

As you know, the second part about my theory is related to grooming. Jason tried to complicate my theory by growing a hybrid beard. The top of the beard is completely natural and allowed to run wild. However, he decided to get a little freaky (I must say that I do not like this aspect of his beard one bit) and shave the lower half of the beard. I was not able to gather enough data about his general demeanor to figure out where this creepy hybrid beard will fit into B.B.A.T. I hope that I’m never near enough to a hybrid beard again to collect such data.

Nader, Politics, Teresa, Work

Lunch Break

September 22, 2007 Christopher D. Bennett

Yesterday I went to Central Campus to see Obama speak. I didn’t have a memory card with me, so I had to borrow a camera from a co-worker. It is a good camera, but it only has a 3X optical zoom, so a couple of these pictures are very heavily cropped.

I met Nader and my sister Teresa there, but I forgot to get a picture of Teresa. The first picture is of Nader.

I wasn’t sure I was going to see Obama speak this time since I have already seen him speak twice this year. However, my resolve to see him speak hardened when a co-worker went off on a rant about how reading Obama’s books were equivalent to brainwashing. I hadn’t noticed that I had been brainwashed, but if it seems that I have, let me know. I’m willing to go through deprogramming.