More random New York City images from the second day of the trip. These pictures were mostly taken on Ellis Island and around the financial district.
Regrettably, I didn’t see one Goldman Sachs piece of garbage to mug.
More random New York City images will be coming your way next Wednesday as well.
These pictures come from: backup/Old My Pictures/Egg Toss
These pictures were taken in Dustin’s dad’s basement with a webcam. They were used to promote a crew picnic that I was running for the Boone Outpost of the Evil Clown Empire.
Perhaps the marquee attraction at this crew picnic was going to be the egg toss competition. A sport that Dustin and I so thoroughly dominated that eventually the sport lost its national appeal. America eventually gets sick of the same two guys holding up the trophy at the end of every single competition.
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The event itself ended up being kind of a downer as it was leaked at this event that I was transferring to the Campus Outpost of the Evil Clown Empire and some people left in a strange combination of sadness and anger. The reason for this movement on my part involved a woman named Heather that I absolutely could not stand. As you may or may not know, I am pretty easygoing and can work with just about anybody. So you can only manage how irritating this person must have been.
The short version of the story is that she was a combination of two things I can’t stand: laziness and lying.
For the long version of the story… well maybe I will write about it someday on the Robot Monster Bros. website.
However, perhaps the real hiccup of the event was the actual Egg Toss. In a match that was poorly refereed, a Chris Kramer and a Nathan Mallas were crowned Egg Toss champs in what can’t even be described as an upset of epic proportions.
It would be a great story, but they very clearly cheated. They had an extra egg that they hid and used when their first egg broke. I wish I was making that up, but I’m not.
To this day, this is the only blemish on Dustin and I’s perfect egg toss record. A blemish that comes with an asterisk.
Next week’s folder will be: backup/Old My Pictures/Family
These pictures come from: backup/Old My Pictures/Cruise Vacation – 2004 – December
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Jamaica if I remember correctly.
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I’ve always enjoyed black and white photography of rusty things.
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Off the coast of Tulum.
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Tulum
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Grand Cayman
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I wish we had iguanas roaming our yards like squirrels.
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In Tulum
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Grand Cayman
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Tulum
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Tulum
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Dragon’s Breath in Haiti
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Grand Cayman
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The Sea
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Haiti
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Bell tower in Haiti
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Bell tower
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In Tulum
Next week’s folder is: backup/Old My Pictures/Cruise Vacation – 2004 – December/Pictures
These pictures come from: backup/Old My Pictures/County Farm
I want to give a small amount of background on these pictures. These pictures were taken at the Boone County Farm after it was abandoned and before it was demolished.
If you know me at all, you know that one of my favorite shows is Ghost Adventures. Some people would describe my love for that show as a guilty pleasure. I would not because I’m not the slightest bit guilty about it.
I love this show and I hate every other single ghost show on television. I don’t even like ghost movies.
I don’t even believe in ghosts. I would my consider myself open to the possibility that ghosts exist, but I don’t believe they exist.
I could be classified as a paranormal agnostic, I want to believe in ghosts (and I don’t eliminate the possibility that they exist), but I just don’t.
The Boone County Farm was reputed to be haunted. Carla and I have always shared an interest in the paranormal. So when the Boone County Farm went on the real estate market, we collected Jay and went to tour the allegedly haunted building.
This is the closest I have been to a Ghost Adventures type trip.
Perhaps because it was the middle of the day, or perhaps because I am skeptical, I did not experience or witness any paranormal activity. However, IF a place was to be haunted by negative residual energy, I do believe that the Boone County Farm would be the type of place that it could happen.
Since most people think the word “poorhouse” isn’t a reference to something that actually existed or know what a County Farm was, I’m providing a little bit of background information on such things.
From http://www.poorhousestory.com/:
Poorhouses were tax-supported residential institutions to which people were required to go if they could not support themselves. They were started as a method of providing a less expensive (to the taxpayers) alternative to what we would now days call “welfare” – what was called “outdoor relief” in those days. People requested help from the community Overseer of the Poor ( sometimes also called a Poor Master) – an elected town official. If the need was great or likely to be long-term, they were sent to the poorhouse instead of being given relief while they continued to live independently. Sometimes they were sent there even if they had not requested help from the Overseer of the Poor. That was usually done when they were found guilty of begging in public, etc.
[One misconception should be cleared up here; they were not technically “debtors’ prisons.” Someone could owe a great deal of money, but if they could still provide themselves with the necessities for remaining independent they might avoid the poorhouse.]
During the second quarter of the 19th century, as the industrial revolution had its effect on the United States, the importation of the factory system from England was followed almost immediately by the full scale adoption of what seemed to be an inherent component of that system — the Poorhouse System. These poorhouses were built with great optimism. They promised to be a much more efficient and cheaper way to provide relief to paupers. And there was a fervent popular belief that housing such people in institutions would provide the opportunity to reform them and cure them of the bad habits and character defects that were assumed to be the cause of their poverty.
By mid-century, people were beginning to question the success of the poorhouse movement. Investigations were launched to examine the conditions in poorhouses. They had proven to be much more expensive than had been anticipated. And they had not significantly reduced the numbers of the “unworthy poor” nor eliminated the need for “outdoor relief”. [ This was public assistance given to those living outside the poorhouses. It was given somewhat grudgingly to those considered to be (perhaps!) more “worthy” poor –who might only briefly and temporarily require assistance to procure food or fuel or clothing when they fell on very short-term hard times.]
By 1875, after the regulation of poorhouses in most states became the responsibility of the State Board of Charities, laws were passed prohibiting children from residing in poorhouses and removing mentally ill patients and others with special needs to more appropriate facilities.
The poorhouse population was even more narrowly defined during the twentieth century when social welfare legislation (Workman’s Compensation, Unemployment benefits and Social Security) began to provide a rudimentary “safety net” for people who would previously have been pauperized by such circumstances. Eventually the poorhouses evolved almost exclusively into nursing homes for dependent elderly people. But poorhouses left orphanages, general hospitals and mental hospitals — for which they had provided the prototype — as their heritage.
The Boone County Farm was tormented by not 1, but 2 tragic fires.
From http://www.respectourdead.com/:
January 1894
EIGHT PERSONS CREMATED
A Sickening Tragedy
The Disaster at the County Insane Asylum.
The most horrible tragedy that ever occurred in the limits of Boone county took place Tuesday night of last week when the county insane asylum burned down. Of the nine inmates of the place eight were burned to death, roasted alive, meeting a fate that makes one shudder. The horrible death roll, which has been published all over the country and created a cry of indignation wherever read is as follows:
ANDERSON, CHRISTIANA, aged 28
SNIGGS, JOHANNA, aged 55
CRAIG, JOSEPH, aged 81
LESSER, THOMAS aged 45
PETERSON, CHRISTIAN, aged 87
SCOTT, SARAH aged 82
SODERBURG, ANNA, aged 38
TUCKER, Mercy, aged 48The county insane asylum was located on the poor farm. The poor farm is on the old Fort Dodge road seven miles directly north of Boone and a mile and a half south of Mineral Ridge. Henry Holcomb is steward of the poor farm and had charge of the insane also. The insane asylum was a two-story frame building put up about 60 feet from the poor house proper It was erected six or eight years ago, when Boone county took charge of its incurable insane, taking care of them at home instead of the state institutions. This was originally done because there was not room in the state institutions and the counties were required to take care of the harmless incurables as best they could. Of late years, since the state facilities have been increased, the county has kept up the local asylum as a matter of economy.
There were nine of these unfortunates in the asylum–the eight that lost their lives and one that escaped, Mrs. Hibbart. Tuesday night, January 23, was one of the worst nights this winter. A furious storm started in the afternoon which gained in fury all night. The thermometer went down to 30 degrees below zero before morning. The insane asylum was heated with a furnace in the cellar which was reported out of order. Regardless of this, the nine unfortunates who were not of sufficiently sound mind to take care of themselves were locked up in this fire trap to perish like so many rats. Possibly the doors were not locked, but the unfortunate creatures, unable to look out for themselves, were left alone without a person of sound mind to look after them. When the house was left we have not learned. Evidently the old furnace was fired up so that the inmates should not freeze to death that bitter cold night and then left to their fate.
Henry Holcomb, the steward, went to bed at his usual time and all the inmates of the poor house proper were asleep at ten o’clock when they were awakened by Mrs. Hibbart coming into the house and telling them the madhouse was on fire. Holcomb rushed to the burning building, which he saw was all aflame inside, and burst in the door. He could not enter and no sound except the crackling of flames was heard. The poor unfortunates were already dead, either suffocated before they awoke, or lacking the intelligence to make their escape.
Four of the poor creatures that were not considered perfectly safe were locked in their cells at night, and could not have escaped if they would. The others could have gotten out if intelligent enough. What little help there was availed nothing against the fire, and all that could be done was to prevent its spreading to the poorhouse and other buildings of the poor farm. The tragedy was over in half an hour and the roof fell in. The victims were seen burned beyond recognition. From the places where some of the remains were found it is inferred that some of the unfortunates had reached the windows and tried to escape from them.
How the fire originated is not and never will be known. One of the insane women was in the habit of tearing her clothes to shreds and stuffing them into the hot air registers. It is possible that this may have been the cause of the fire. The grand jury visited the asylum last week and their report, published in the last issue of THE DEMOCRAT, was far from complimentary to the institution. Before it was read by many of the readers of this paper news of the sickening tragedy was on the streets.
A great moral responsibility attaches to some one for this crime against humanity. We will not stop to discuss how the policy of keeping the insane at home instead of in state institutions. It is sufficient that they were kept on the poor farm. Why were they not cared for? Who is to blame for the shocking barbarity of leaving nine unfortunate human beings unable to take care of themselves alone in a building to perish like so many rats? To burn up at 10 o’clock, the early part of the evening. It is highly probable that the fire had been smoldering for some time before it burst out. A sane person might likely have smelled fire and investigated before retiring. Possibly lives might have been lost even if proper precaution had been taken. This has occurred in other asylum fires. But then there would have been no cause for the universal indignation that is expressed at the utter lack of care in looking out for the unfortunates in Boone county. If economy was the reason the purpose has been accomplished–the insane are burned up and will no longer cost the county anything. This is cheaper than hiring some one to take charge of them but arouses a cry of indignation from every corner of the land. We wish the man or men that are responsible for leaving these unfortunates alone with less care than is given so many cattle (for fires are carefully kept out of the stable) could see the comments that are being made all over the country in the press. It will not mend matters but may cause a little remorse. Locking the stable door after the horse is stolen is of little use.
The criminal carelessness is largely chargeable upon the board of supervisors for the method of taking care of the insane. We do not wish to single out the present board, for they probably did the same as has been done for years, but the whole method is wrong. The management of the poor farm is peddled out to the lowest bidder, the man that will do it the cheapest, regardless of fitness for the place. It is possible that the present steward of the poor farm, who left nine people that the proper tribunal said were not competent to take care of themselves alone to perish did just what his predecessors had done before him. That does not make it less reprehensible. The tragedy is a blot on Boone county that can never be justified and must meet the condemnation of every humane man.
A second tragic fire occurred in March of 1917:
Boone Mar.8 – One aged woman and three men, all inmates of the Boone county poor house, eight miles north of here burned to death in a fire which destroyed the three story brick structure at 10 o’clock last night. Fifty-six other inmates narrowly escaped in their night clothes.
There was no fire protection at the institution and the Boone fire department was not called. Superintendent Heedwell of the poor farm aided by employees succeeded in getting out to safety all except four aged persons on the third floor who lost their lives.
The fire is believed to have started either in the boiler room or from defective wiring between floors.
The dead are Mrs. Oberg, D. Decker, 86, John Allen 86; and Peter Peterson 23. Mrs. Oberg was safely out of the building once but apparently lost her head an rushed back into the structure. She was never seen again until her charred body was found today.
Here are the pictures:
Shortly after we made this trip, the County Farm was torn down and buried on the site where it once stood.
I do have a Ghost Adventures type trip scheduled tentatively for April to the Villisca Axe Murder House. I’m sure I’ll come back with better pictures from that trip.
Next week’s folder is: backup/Old My Pictures/Cruise Vacation – 2004 – December
These pictures are from backup/Old My Pictures/Beaver Massacre
I’ve try to come up with a good reason for why these pictures exist, but I can’t really defend them.
I will just try to explain what the general idea was supposed to be. These were supposed to be “Production Stills” for a movie that didn’t exist, The Beaver Machete Massacre.
Why?
I don’t know. I think Beaver looks like the set of a horror movie and I owned a machete.
Here they are:
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Bill was next and by this time my maniacal hillbilly character had bought a new plaid shirt. I think it was quilted so he wouldn’t get cold during the long winter nights in the woods.
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By the time Willy had come around, I had lost the machete. But I had found an axe. Locally there was a clothing sale at Big Bear and the maniacal hillbilly had picked up yet another quilted flannel shirt.
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We drove all the way out to Ledges, we might as well take more than one shot.
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Poor Steph. Why did she ever agree to such a thing.
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Jesse was next. I think this was done on his lunch break. Apparently I had found a hammer by this point.
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I think we found that bottle littered on the ground at Wakefield Woods.
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Jesse used to have a similar look on his face when he saw that he was going to have to defend me on the basketball court.
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I’m pretty sure that Jay took these cinematic shots.
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Jesse must have really been into this little project.
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I must have found the machete again. The look on Andy’s face almost makes this old project worthwhile.
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Take that Old Navy!
Next week’s folder is backup/Old My Pictures/County Fair 2004
These pictures are from backup/Old My Pictures/Backgrounds
My best guess about these pictures is that they were once used as backgrounds 3 or 4 computers ago. Probably my 2nd computer. Nothing remains of my first computer. Embarrassingly, it was an Apple.
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Between Upper Cullen Lake and Middle Cullen Lake in Minnesota.
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Used to be the only kind of flower I could grow, besides marigolds.
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Dragon’s Breath in Haiti, if I remember correctly.
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The King* and Elvis in Las Vegas.
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Sadly, my Photoshop skills haven’t improved much.
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I’ve recently returned to experimenting with double exposures.
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Have no recollection of taking this picture, but I must have liked it, I scanned it.
This one of my Dad’s pictures.
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Mayan ruins in Tulum.
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Thomas the Tank.
Next week’s look at the archives will be: backup/Old My Pictures/Beaver Massacre
I guess that gives me 7 days for coming up with an excuse for why those pictures exist.
*Technically I am a Popcorn Emperor, not a lowly king.
These pictures are from: backup/Old My Pictures/ Animals
In retrospect, I don’t know why I named this folder Animals. There aren’t that many animal pictures in it. I guess I must have considered it witty at the time.
For my 30th Birthday Party, I talked Andy and Jesse into dressing up like Sandmen from Logan’s Run and posing for pictures all over the awe-inspiring beauty of the Iowa State University campus. Jay was the photographer. I really need to watch Logan’s Run again sometime.
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Bill took this picture of Faust at our wedding.
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Tulum
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Tulum
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Tulum
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Kalona, in front of the now defunct Kalona Cupboard.
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The poster for Steph’s Senior Recital.
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Brandon as Henrik Ibsen.
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Lost Lake.
Next week’s look at the archives will be: backup/Old My Pictures/Backgrounds
Still another week before I have to come up with a good excuse for the Beaver Machete Massacre Project.
These pictures are from: backup/Old My Pictures/2005 Calendar
I’m pretty sure these are the files from the 2nd year of the calendar, although it is possible that it was the 3rd or 1st year of the calendar. My records on such things are spotty at best.
In the early days of the calendar I made “individualized” calendars, but I only made 3 calendars back then, so it was somewhat easy to do. That is why there are more than 12 images in this folder.
These pictures would have been taken in 2004.
This is the first digital picture I ever took.
This picture was taken in Tulum near Cozumel. It was also fairly popular in its day.
This picture was taken between Upper Cullen Lake and Middle Cullen Lake in Minnesota.
This was the 1st (kind of feels like the last) picture I had accepted to the Iowa State Fair Photography Salon. Apparently I’ve regressed as a photographer since this photo, the peak of my photography “career”.
I once had this terrible idea called the Beaver Machete Project. I’ll probably have to explain this later, but I’m going to buy myself a week or so to think of a good excuse for why I thought this was a good idea.
Next week’s look at the archives will be: backup/Old My Pictures/Animals
A cursory glance of this folder reveals very few pictures of animals.
Small bookkeeping note, with this Journal Entry, Teresa becomes the 6th Person to be featured, mentioned, or alluded to in 100 entries. I’m sure she’ll put that on her resume.
It is hard to believe that this journal has reached entry 1,000.
Since I enjoy rather meaningless statistics, I’m going to go over a few right now.
According to how many times they have been viewed, these are the 10 Most Popular Pictures in the Artistic Gallery:
2. Outburst of the Soul
3. Jen Between UnHingd Sets
3. UnHingd Publicity Still
5. US30 East of Ogden
6. 1900
6. Abandoned Piano – McCallsburg
6. Becca Senior Picture
9. Grizzly McAlpine
10. Obama Political Rally
10. Campanile Self-Portrait
These are the 10 Most Popular Snapshots Gallery Pictures:
2. Jesse and I Backstage at the Surf Ballroom
3. Jesse Eating a Bob’s Dog
4. Shannon Reading a Map at Backbone State Park
5. Jesse and I at Eagle Point Park
5. Cousin Amy, Sara and Jen at Bonne Finken Concert
5. Jesse Kissing the Blarney Stone in Emmetsburg
8. Jesse Onstage at the Surf Ballroom
8. Jesse and I Resting at the Sargent Floyd Monument
10. Some Kind of Deal Going Down at a Bonne Finken Concert
10. Sara and Jen at Bonne Finken Concert
The Top Ten People I Write About, Photograph or Contribute in Some Way (Tagged in Journal Entries):
1. Jay (144)
2. Jesse (143)
3. Shannon (140)
4. Derrick (117)
5. Jen (101)
6. Teresa (96)
7. Willy (93)
8. Sara (88)
9. Baier (65)
10. Dawn (64)
Of course, we will revisit these numbers and pictures in about 100 or so journal entries. Of course, it will be interesting to see what has changed!
Here is a copy of the journal I kept while I was on vacation last week. It covers parts of 10 days and over 1300 miles. While I doubt anybody reads this whole thing, it was an important exercise for me.
There are no pictures, but I will post some pictures from my vacation at some point in the futre.
Friday
17:33 – Put up my hard hat. Clocked out. Left the Computer Mine. Vacation officially started.
17:53 – Check mail. Brandi Carlile tickets have not arrived.
18:45 – “Cleaned” living room for the arrival of the Gorshes. Sat on Clockwork Couch. Fell asleep.
19:15 – Gorshes arrive. Order Casey’s Taco and Hot Sausage pizza.
19:16 – Realize my house is not really clean enough for Evie. I hate it when my Mom is right.
20:00 – While enjoying Casey’s pizza, determine that Evie enjoys Miles Davis. Not such a fan of live Led Zeppelin.
21:00 – Finish the 6/6 Gorshes Photo Project.
21:45 – Evie makes an incredibly loud sound.
23:57 – Bid the Gorshes a fond adieu and sleep the good sleep.
Saturday
8:45 – Wake up in time to watch Game Day. Might be the last time I get to watch Game Day for a few weeks. This saddens me.
10:58 – Lee Corso picks Wisconsin to beat Ohio State.
11:47 – Mail arrives. Assorted bills and political advertisements. No Brandi Carlile tickets.
11:48 – Call UNI ticket office to ask: “What the Hades?” I am told that for some reason they just decided to never mail me the tickets. But they will be waiting for me at the Will Call Window. “Thanks UNI Ticket Office”. This statement is a mixture of sarcasm and gratitude. About 60% sarcasm. 40% gratitude.
12:47 – Clean out Foster Bunny’s cage and let him roam the back porch while I clean the back porch.
14:48 – Clean the fridge. After the “Great Cleansing” the follow items remain in my fridge. 8 different types of jelly, 5 different types of salsa, 3 different types of barbecue sauce, 3 different types of pickles, 3 different types of mustard, 3 different types of root beers, about 24 cans of pop (7 different varieties), 6 bottles of bottled water ( 2 different varieties), 10 slices of processed American cheese, 1 jar of Miracle Whip, 1 jar of pickled beets that I bought due to a miscommunication with Derrick, 1 tub of butter, 3 sticks of margarine and a bag of baby carrots.
16:35 – Meet Sara in the Computer Mine Parking lot for trip to Cedar Falls for Brandi Carlile concert.
17:45 – Stop in Wellsburg, Iowa to try the award winning tenderloin of the Town House Supper Club. When we can’t find the restaurant we stop at the local Casey’s. They have scorpions in shadow boxes for sale as “art”. Kid behind cash register tells me that that the Town House Supper Club is closed for remodeling. I thought I was only cursed by old timey ice cream parlors. I am not pleased. Sara buys me a Fig Newton to assuage my pain.
18:30 – We arrive on “The Hill”. I had contacted my Cedar Falls “expert” earlier in the week to find out a restaurant to eat at besides Sub City. The response came back: “There are other restaurants in Cedar Falls?” But what I heard was “I’ve criticized my parents for not wanting to try new restaurants, but perhaps that was hypocrisy.” We try Great Wall Chinese Restaurant. This experience is similar to when Jill and I ate at Jade 88 back in February. We are the only people in the restaurant. The food is tasty though. Not to the level of Chinese Homestyle Cooking, but not bad. They have cool fish lamps on their walls. I don’t feel that Sara appreciates them at an appropriate level.
19:20 – We arrive at Gallagher-Bluedorn. It is not what I’m expecting. Although the auditorium itself is beautiful, it is “designed” to make it as extremely difficult as possible to find your seats. After picking up tickets at Will Call, we approach Volunteer #1 looking for assistance. She tells us that we have to go up the elevator. Volunteer #2 walks us to the elevator. After getting off the elevator we hand our tickets to Volunteers #3 and #4 that are standing right outside the elevator. They tell us to go to Door 5. Door 5 is 10 feet away. We walk the 10 feet and give our tickets to Volunteers #5 and #6 that are standing outside of Door 5. They tell us to go into Door 5. Inside Door 5 Volunteer #7 points out our seats. There are two of us. There is 1 open seat. We point this out to him. He tells us that they will “make room”. We get near “our” seats. People have made room. We sit down. Sara notes that the height of the wall that prevents you from falling 150 feet to your death is about 2 feet tall.
19:30 – Opening act Pieta Brown takes the stage. She plays about 5 songs. She isn’t bad.
20:15 – Brandi Carlile and her band take the stage. They play a set without the Cedar Falls-Waterloo Symphony. It is amazing.
20:45 – Volunteer #8 approaches me and asks to see our tickets. I give them to him. He tells me that these aren’t our seats and points in kind of a general direction of where we are supposed to be sitting. He is not friendly or jovial.
20:47 – We give our tickets to Volunteer #9 who points out our seats to us. They aren’t really seats. They are more like chairs that overlook the two foot wall. I actually love this because it means legroom!
20:52 – There are only two other people sitting in this “section”, so rather than sitting in our assigned chairs, we sit next to them and strike up a conversation. Volunteer #9 doesn’t seem pleased about this, but she doesn’t do anything about it. I ask them: besides Sub City, where is a good place to eat in Cedar Falls? She recommends Beck’s or Pablo’s. An exact quote from the lady: “There is more to Cedar Falls than Sub City.” I feel I should text this to my Cedar Falls expert, but I fear she might drive up to Cedar Falls and slap this poor lady. Decide I will tell her about this swipe at Sub City in an indirect passive aggressive manner. Hi Shannon! While Sara goes out to the hallway to drink a Diet Pepsi I learn that the male in this couple moved from California for the female in the couple. He is “looking forward” to his first Iowa Winter. My Aunt Sherrie would think he moved here because he had “no options”. The less cynical side of me would ask “are there options to love”?
21:00 – Brandi Carlile comes back on stage and kills it in the 2nd set. I had thought maybe it was foolish for me to go see Brandi Carlile for a 3rd time this year. But all told, I spent about $100 dollars on 3 shows. I will find out later in the week that there are people willing to spend quite a bit more than 100 smackers to see just 1 show. So maybe I am cheap. Brandi plays many of her best songs: “Dreams”, “The Story”, “Oh Dear”, “Closer to You” and “Turpentine” to name just a few. But perhaps the highlights of this show for me were two covers I’ve never heard her play before. I’ve always felt that her voice is reminiscent of Patsy Cline, but I’ve never heard her play a Patsy Cline song. She played “Crazy” and nailed it! Near the end of her set she played a cover of Lenard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”. With the beauty of her voice and the majesty of the backing symphony orchestra, I’m not ashamed to say that I got goosebumps.
22:00 – After the show, (Brandi included her traditional Johnny Cash cover of “Folsom Prison Blues” in her encore) Sara tells me “I want to be Brandi Carlile.” She did this with an inflection that only Sara can do that makes you think that it actually might be a possibility.
Sunday
8:50 – I’m surprisingly up for Church, despite the lateness of the previous evening, when Mom arrives to pick me up.
9:40 – Andrea gives an awesome (truly awe inspiring) sermon about superheroes and how the greatest superhero the world has and ever will see is a Christian. At the end of the sermon Andrea and Phil take off their robes to reveal that they are wearing Batman shirts underneath. I have a sinking suspicion that they didn’t have to go out and buy those shirts special for this sermon.
10:05 – The combined choirs of 4 churches perform a song to conclude our worship service. I’m disappointed to see that my Grandma isn’t in the choir, but excited to see a choir with lots of men in it. Our church choir is a little light on the men. Of course that is partially my fault for keeping my angelic voice under wraps.
10:15 – Josh tells me that Wesley’s hair color must have come from the Schwan’s man. I assure him that I was born with red hair. Then the red went away. Then the hair went away. Mom tells him the story about how my Grandma (Paternal) knew I would be born with red hair because I “visited her in a dream” before I was born. I’ve always doubted the veracity of this tale because I don’t remember visiting anybody before I was born. However, Josh thinks it is a great story. I am reminded that I should really make an extra effort to make it to Taize Worship next November.
13:00 – Angie, Jon and Alice arrive for Alice’s 3 month photo shoot. I don’t really know how to take baby pictures, but Angie has ideas. I give them a tour of the house that consists mostly of the phrase: “This room is too dirty to go into…” and “someday this will be different”. Alice photography goes seemingly well.
17:30 – Meet the Howards near a private pond for the Howard family photo shoot. The light wanes quickly and Jesse limping around on his crutches doesn’t help the speed of the event, but I think good work is accomplished.
19:30 – I show up at the Howards for supper. Kelly makes a very good Shepherd’s Pie. We watch the Phillies-Giants game.
21:00 – Willy shows up because he is a social butterfly and needs to be around other people.
21:30 – I realize that I was supposed to go to the Mehtodist Men Steak Fry tonight. Whoops!
Monday
9:00 – I wake up with one goal: to stay in my pajamas as long as is humanly possible.
10:00 – I thaw out hamburger to make Hamburger Helper. I have friends who look down their long noses of judgment at me because I occasionally eat Hamburger Helper. I don’t have the ambition to cook anything better on this day.
11:00 – I think about cleaning my living room.
11:03 – I email my weekly picks to Andree, Russell and Baier. Upset: Baylor over Kansas State Lock: Oklahoma over Missouri.
12:00 – I realize I don’t have any milk to make my Cheesy Enchilada Hamburger Helper. If I go to the store I would have to put on nonsleeping attire. I go down to my Mom’s to borrow milk. Instead, she makes me homemade chicken noodles.
13:23 – I think about cleaning my living room.
16:30 – I dust some stuff.
16:42 – I put the hamburger away. I’ll make Hamburger Helper later this week.
18:00 – Show up at my Mom’s for supper.
20:15 – I put on real clothes and leave for the bowling alley.
22:47 – The Patio Pros enter the night in first place, but get handled by C&B Drywall 18-6. I personally have a decent night. Winning 3 out of 4 personal points, but it isn’t enough.
Tuesday
8:30 – Depart for Kalona with Mom.
10:45 – Buy Buttermilk Cookies at the Bakery. I love these cookies. I refrain from buying any more jelly. I have 8 jars at home in the fridge.
11:02 – Community Store is closed on Tuesdays.
11:11 – Stringtown Grocery Store is closed on Tuesdays.
11:17 – Jackpot! Cheese factory is open. I buy two pounds of cheese curds, in case any friends drop by the rest of the week. I also buy, Smoked Swiss, 2 Year Old Cheddar and Chocolate Cheese. I need to buy some crackers when I get a chance.
12:17 – Mom wants to go by Riverside Casino to see what it looks like. I take her to the Future Birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk. I text a picture to a few people to let them know that this guy doesn’t waste his vacation time.
13:15 – Don’t find the casino, but decide to go to Iowa City to eat at Steak’n’Shake for lunch. This is despite the fact that both Sara and Jesse have tried to shoot down my dreams of eating at a Steak’n’Shake in the past.
13:37 – Turns out I don’t know where the Steak’n’Shake in Iowa City is located even though I KNOW I’ve driven by it many a time. Aimlessly driving around Iowa City.
13:47 – Call Sara for directions. She doesn’t answer. Call Toby for directions. He doesn’t answer. Call Jesse for directions. He answers. Apparently we drove by it about 5 miles back. Nice!
14:02 – The joyride works to our favor. 2-4 is Shake Happy Hour at Steak’n’Shake. Steak’n’Shake isn’t anywhere near as bad as Sara and Jesse hyped it to be. In fact, it was actually on the enjoyable side. I wouldn’t go out of my way for one again, but it certainly beats the offerings of the Evil Clown Empire, Burger King and Wendy’s. Plus, to my knowledge, none of those places have a Shake Happy Hour. Game, Set, Match. Steak’n’Shake.
15:37 – Arrive at what is left of the Czech Village in Cedar Rapids. They have a “Speed Hump” sign that is moderately amusing. We stop in a bakery and buy some stuff.
17:17 – Stop at an abandoned gas station on Highway 30 to photograph it.
18:22 – Stop in Tama to photograph historic Lincoln Highway Bridge.
19:02 – Stop at Country House Family Restaurant in Colo for supper. I love this restaurant. I have the fried chicken dinner and it is great. Order raisin cream pie to go.
21:30 – Sitting at home. Eat raisin cream pie. Some cheese curds as well.
Wednesday
8:30 – Watch Prospect Place episode of Ghost Adventures on On Demand.
9:15 – Watch Waverly Hills episode of Ghost Adventures on On Demand.
10:00 – Watch Stanley Hotel episode of Ghost Adventures on On Demand. Text Jill. Find out she has been by the Stanley Hotel on an Orchestra trip. Color me with the colors of jealousy. I think they are green. I decide to watch The Shining later that night in honor of my Ghost Adventures marathon.
10:45 – Watch Return to Bobby Mackey’s episode of Ghost Adventures on On Demand. This is an episode I’ve never seen before, but Jill spoke very highly of it. By watching this episode I learn that Bobby Mackey’s is in Wilder, Kentucky. I decide that if I go with Teresa to visit Ernie in Kentucky next year, Bobby Mackey’s is definitely one place we are visiting. That list now consists of Lambert’s, Beale Street and Bobby Mackey’s. I don’t believe in ghosts, but I’m willing to believe in the possibility of ghosts. That must make me a ghost agnostic. Episode is as good as Jill advertised. I leave the epidosde confused as to why anybody would turn a slaughterhouse into a music club.
12:00 – Mom and I pick up Vi for lunch. Since I get to pick the restaurant, I pick Pickles Pub in Kamrar. I’m not sure that they are open for lunch, but there pizza is so good it is worth the risk. If not, Webster City probably has a restaurant or two that serve edible food.
12:47 – We are in Kamrar. At this point I tell Mom and Vi that I’m not sure that they are open during the day. I had eaten here once with Shannon during the day, but that was a Sunday.
12:53 – They are open, but they don’t serve pizza during the day.
12:57 – Mom asks the waitress if they will serve us pizza. The waitress says it will be a little wait, but they will turn on the pizza oven. Big points for Pickles! We order Fried Pickles because Vi has never had Fried Pickles.
14:00 – Pizza was excellent, as always. We leave a large tip because they turned on the pizza oven and it looks like our waitress has been crying.
14:30 – Stop at Stanhope Meat Locker. I don’t buy anything, but Mom does.
15:15 – Home cleaning living room. It is spotless and I can finally get under my entertainment center to hook up the switch that makes it possible for me to sign up for Netflix.
15:20 – I sign up for Netflix.
15:25 – Watch Food, Inc. on Netflix.
18:00 – Eat pastries from Czech Village bakery. They are terrible. I spit some out. I think about giving some to Foster Bunny, but decide not to be cruel.
20:00 – Pop some popcorn and open up some ice cold Pepsi Cola. It is time for The Shining on Blu-Ray!
22:30 – I love Stanley Kubrick!
Thursday
7:30 – I’m up. I rearrange my bedroom. I theorize that this new arrangement will help me keep my bedroom cleaner. I have lots of theories on cleaning. However, I don’t actually do much cleaning. Cleaning is more of a theoretical activity for me.
11:30 – I’m cleaning my office. The goal is to clean out the Hat Closet and make it a second Frame Closet. I also want to be able to see the floor again.
11:47 – I get an email from Russell that he is “vetoing” my upset pick of Baylor over Kansas State because he doesn’t “feel” that it is an upset.
11:48 – I point out that Kansas State is a 6.5 point favorite and ranked. Baylor is not ranked.
13:30 – Russell emails that it technically might be an upset, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Baylor won.
13:33 – Of course, I’m wouldn’t be surprised. That is why I made the pick. I change my upset pick to Texas over Iowa State.
14:22 – Russell refers to the belief that Iowa State could beat Texas as a “fantasy”. I don’t respond. I shut off my computer. I believe I won’t touch a computer again until Monday.
3:30 – I can see the floor again. I am a cleaning god.
16:37 – Teresa calls me to tell me she is in my driveway. I tell her that she might as well come inside. We aren’t leaving until my show is over, even though the show is on Netflix and I can watch it at any time.
16:56 – We leave for Trostel’s Dish.
17:30 – I get a text from Vest at the Computer Mine. He has a question about the Microsoft eOpen website. It is good to be needed.
17:47 – We arrive at Trostel’s Dish. I can smell Yuppie all over this place, but despite being under the weather, I give it a shot.
17:48 – This is a sharing restaurant. I wasn’t prepared for that.
17:57 – Teresa orders Arancini and a Taco Pizza. I order Beef & Shrooms and Pomme Frites.
18:30 – The Pomme Frites were kind of average, but the Arancini is incredible. The Beef & Shrooms and Taco Pizza are also above average, but the Arancini really steals the show. If I were to come back I would just order 4 orders of it and call it a night.
18:31 – Teresa asks me if I would come back. I tell her I would, but since it is a sharing restaurant I would come with a larger group of people (like when I went to Chino Latino back in April). Teresa is somewhat offended by this statement, but I tell her that I would let her come along.
20:02 – I’m standing in Sara’s garage. She has offered to give me a mirror that is roughly the size of a twin bed. I’m hoping that Teresa’s Murano is the perfect vessel to convey my new prize home. I have been eying the Gorshe Forrester behind their back for about a month now, but I’m hoping I won’t need it any longer. Teresa says she doesn’t know if she can help lift the mirror because of her bad neck. I give her a pep talk and she’s willing to give it the old college try.
20:06 – By the slimmest of margins the mirror fits in the Murano! Oh bliss! Heaven and bliss!
20:22 – Standing in the Beaverdale Walgreen’s. I am out of acetaminophen. They are having a sale on it. Buy 1 get 1 Free. They are completely sold out of all sizes except for the Super Jumbo bottle. I now have enough acetaminophen to ease the aches and pains of a small village.
21:03 – At the Casey’s in Madrid. They are selling scorpions in shadow boxes as art. Did I miss something?
21:30 – Leave giant mirror in my garage because Teresa can’t carry it to basement due to bad neck. Start thinking about strong friends that will be able to help me move the mirror to the basement.
Friday
10:45 – Stop at the Computer Mine to answer a Microsoft Eopen website question. This seems to be my expertise at work. Some would call it job security. I call it reason #345 why I hate Microsoft.
11:00 – On the Interstate.
12:22 – Drivers from Wisconsin are stupid.
1:17 – Drivers from Nebraska are stupid.
2:00 – Wheels down. Eagan, Minnesota. The Promised Land. Nate and I go to lunch.
2:08 – Lunching at Genghis Grill. There are small differences between Genghis Grill and HuHot. They are as follows: Steak is marinated, seasonings, eggs, sauce is thicker, sauce is put in a separate bowl and cooks mix rice in for you.
2:25 – Genghis Grill is a winner.
2:32 – Nate and Bethany have canceled cable. There goes Plan A for watching Iowa State-Texas game.
17:00 – Nate has left for work. I’m heading to Minneapolis to see Becca and Gelli’s new apartment.
17:07 – On 77. Becca’s directions say to take 62 East. GPS says 62 West. Trusting Becca.
17:15 – GPS was right.
17:28 – Arrive at the new apartment. It is nice. Get to meet Ponyo who is cute. Becca and Gelli don’t have cable. There goes Plan B for watching Iowa State-Texas game.
18:02 – On the way to a tea house we drive by the Uptown Theater. I still long to see a movie at this theater. Their midnight movie this weekend is The Lost Boys. I am reminded that The Lost Boys terrified Bethany when she was young. I don’t think I could talk her into going to see it. Then my thoughts are stopped cold. I see an advertisement that lists their next several midnight movies. In a couple of weeks they are showing The Shining. If that wasn’t such a terrible weekend for it, I would come up to Minnesota just for that. I’m still miffed about missing A Clockwork Orange at the Uptown a few months back.
18:15 – At a tea house called Tea Garden. The baristas look like cliché hipsters, but the clientele looks decidedly normal. I wonder if the baristas secretly wish to work at a more hip tea house.
18:32 – Becca tells me that she was willing to pay 600 dollars for a ticket to see Shakira in concert in Chicago. I’m flabbergasted. I’ve seen my favorite band in concert and it cost me 38 bucks. I’d be willing to pay more, but not 562 bucks more.
18:48 – Back at the apartment awaiting Bethany’s arrival. We are deciding between two locations. Hard Times Café and Mac’s Industrial Sports Bar. We decide on Mac’s Industrial based on the fact that their menu includes a Fried Plate of Death.
20:37 – I am face to face with the Fried Plate of Death. It is a good distraction because despite the fact this is a sports bar, all that is on their televisions is stupid hockey. I secretly hate this state. Saint Cloud State is embarrassing Minnesota. 1 billion chinamen and this American could care less. Fried Plate of Death is good, but not great. It pales in comparison to the appetizer combo plate at The Open Flame. Now I am longing for The Open Flame.
22:28 – Make plan with Becca to go to the Sculpture Garden at 1 PM on Saturday.
23:13 – Watching Weeds with Nate back in Eagan.
Saturday
11:00 – Search in vain for a way to watch Iowa State-Texas game. Ends with me staring at Bethany’s computer watch Gamecast on ESPN.com.
11:04 – Bethany calls from work. Suggests I go over to John’s to watch football. That would be awesome, but I already have plans with Becca to go to the Sculpture Garden.
12:28 – Halftime: Iowa State 14 Texas 3. Really wish I could watch this game.
13:00 – Arrive at Becca and Gelli’s. I watch Iowa State-Texas game on Gamecast on my phone.
13:14 – Becca and I head for lunch at Hard Times Café.
13:26 – Becca thinks Hard Times Café is in Dinkytown. We end up in a traffic jam. Minnesota must have a football game at 2:30. Look at all these people headed to the stadium.
13:43 – We drive past Minnesota Stadium. All these people aren’t driving to the stadium. They are leaving the stadium! There is 5 minutes left in the game and there is maybe 10,000 people left in the stadium. I text Jesse to find out the score of the Minnesota-Penn State game. Minnesota is down by 9. They are down by 9 and their stadium is empty.
14:11 – We find Hard Times Café. It is in a Somalian neighborhood. That is code for ghetto in Minnesotan.
14:16 – This is a true hipster place. Vegan and vegetarian food. The baristas AND the clientele scream cliché hipster. Who am I to judge though? They probably look at me and think I look like a cliché badass and it is true, but badass is who I am. I can’t run from it.
14:18 – Hard Times Café has an interesting way to order. You write down your food order on a piece of paper and hand it to the barista. But for the drink, you can actually talk to the barista. I order an Eden Omelet and Organic Grape Juice.
14:22 – Derrick calls me. Iowa State has officially beat Texas for the first time in school history. We discuss how proud we are to be Cyclones.
14:25 – I text Russell to ask him if he believes in fantasies. I still haven’t heard from him. Andree and Jesse both text me to celebrate the victory. I had received texts from Baier earlier in the day, but surprisingly he does not text me after the game. Perhaps he was still in shock.
14:27 – Our food is up. It is very good. I try some of Becca’s biscuits and gravy. It is surprisingly good for not having any meat in it.
15:03 – We arrive at The Sculpture Garden. Although they have moved some sculptures around, I don’t think there are any new sculptures from the time I visited it with Bethany a couple of years back.
15:05 – Lots of wedding parties here getting their pictures taken with a giant cherry. Little weird Minnesotans.
15:27 – The flower garden hear is amazing!
16:47 – At Jamba Juice. This is my first lifetime visit to a Whole Foods. I order Banana Berry Smoothie without a boost. I don’t believe in performance enhancers.
17:00 – Hug Becca goodbye. Going to Bloomington to meet Bethany and John at John’s place to take some pictures.
17:03 – The quickest route between Minneapolis and Bloomington involves 35W South. The police have closed this road because Obama is in town. I appreciate the meaningful health care reform. I appreciate Wall Street reform. I appreciate removing combat troops from Iraq. I don’t appreciate this Obama! It will be a long 8 mile drive down Nicollet, with the sunlight wasting away.
17:22 – Arrive at John’s. Bethany still isn’t ready. Sorry for the angry words Obama.
17:47 – Arrive at Century Park. It is pretty dark, but we take some good pictures. At least I hope they are good.
20:27 – At The Park Tavern Bowling & Entertainment Center in St. Louis Park. For years I’ve listened to Bethany praise the green chicken wings served here. Here with John, Bethany and John’s friend Ryan. Hostess asks us if we want a table near the karaoke or far from the karaoke. We ask if they can just “not do karaoke”. She responds, “I wish. Believe me. I wish.” Her eyes glaze over as she seems to be remembering a traumatic experience from the past. Then in an instant she is back with us. She seats us around a corner and far from the karaoke.
20:33 – Some guys is killing Journey on stage. Not in the Brandi Carlile way, this is literally musical homicide. Hatred for karaoke is reinforced.
20:47 – The green chicken wings arrive. They are excellent! They are also very spicy and very large. They are least 4 times the size of normal chicken wings. Also interesting is rather than celery, the “side dish” is cucumber slices. Tasty, but I think it actually makes the burning sensation on my lips worse.
20:52 – Woman who actually belongs a stage is doing a serviceable job on Janis Joplin. As it turns out, serviceable is as good as it gets on this night.
20:55 – Nate calls and says to order for him in 15 minutes.
21:10 – We order for him.
21:14 – The guy that murdered Journey is now murdering Survivor. Fantastic!
21:20 – Nate’s wings arrive.
21:40 – Nate arrives.
23:23 – On the way back to John’s I hear my first legendary John-Hardcore-Right-Wing-Rant. Ryan holds his own as his Yes Man! Some of my favorite phrases include, “Back in the 70s” and “I heard a scientist say once.” Okay, my real favorite phrase was when Bethany says, “I’ve asked you to show me documentation of that claim before and you can’t find any!”
23:42 – Back at John’s watching Jim Gaffigan clips on YouTube.
Sunday
00:47 – I hug Bethany goodbye.
1:13 – Nate is already asleep. I read several website reports of Iowa State’s historic victory over Texas.
8:45 – This is the 4th Sunday of the year that I have missed Church. I missed Super Bowl Sunday, the Sunday after my Birthday Barbecue and Swell Season Sunday. Now this Sunday. Based on the Shorty Peterson Church Credit Theory, I still have perfect attendance. I have missed 4 services, but I also went on Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. I also once stopped in on a Contemporary Service. However, that is partial credit at best. I should really go to the Taize Worship in November. I know I’ll also go to the bonus Christmas Eve service. If they don’t cancel the midnight service this year, I might hit two services on Christmas Eve. I might end up with better than perfect attendance before the year is over.
10:02 – Nate wakes up.
10:15 – I say goodbye to Nate. No hug. Get in the car to head to Oakdale.
10:45 – I knock on the door to Jill’s apartment. There is a small amount of time before we have to leave to make it to Hell’s Kitchen. Our reservation is for 11:30. Jill is watching the Travel Channel’s all day marathon of Ghost Adventures.
10:52 – I make an effort to be friends with Kitty Baby. The other encounters I’ve had with her have not gone particularly well. This time she doesn’t hiss or run away from me. This is known as progress.
10:58 – Jill is going to see Maroon 5 in concert on Thursday. I already know this, but you probably don’t.
10:59 – Standing in the parking lot trying to decide who will drive. Jill says, “Don’t you want to ride in the Poor Man’s Porsche?” Truth is that I never miss a chance to ride in the Poor Man’s Porsche.
11:04 – Jill tells me that when she made our reservation, they told her that Hell’s Kitchen has a jazz band playing during brunch. Considerable improvement over karaoke. In fact, it is nearly impossible to quantify the breadth of that improvement.
11:06 – Jill asks if “How” is still my favorite song from Maroon 5’s new album. I tell her it is, but the acoustic versions of “Never Gonna Leave This Bed” and “Misery” along with the cover of Alicia Keys “If I Ain’t Got You” are closing the gap. She plays for me the iTunes Bonus Track “The Air That I Breathe”. She tells me she’s excited for Thursday.
11:11 – Jill tells me she’s excited for Thursday.
11:16 – Jill tells me she’s excited for Thursday.
11:20 – Jill tells me she’s excited for Thursday.
11:28 – We arrive at Hell’s Kitchen. The hostess asks us if we want a table near or far away from the jazz band. We give the exact opposite answer that we gave the hostess from last night.
11:48 – This is a really cool restaurant. Live jazz band. The servers are wearing pajamas. The art on the wall is cool without being contrived. There is an awesome angel statue on the stage behind the jazz trio.
11:52 – Our food arrives. We ordered Sweet Potato Fries as an appetizer. Jill ordered Shrimp & Crab Cake with Poached Egg. I order Bison Benedict.
11:57 – I’m not a huge fan of breakfast at a restaurant, but this is phenomenal. This definitely goes on the list of the best restaurants I’ve ever eaten at.
12:22 – The jazz trio announce when they will be playing Hell’s Kitchen again. On the list of their future appearances is a night when they will be playing Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy. I wish I could be here for that.
12:28 – While paying the bill we discuss whether or not we could steal the sweet pen our server brought her to sign the check. We do this in front of the waiter. He tells us to go ahead and steal it. He says he sometimes brings stuff to people for them to steal. We decide not to steal the pen.
13:30 – We are at the Carmike Cinema in Oakdale. The original plan was to go see “Hereafter”. That isn’t actually true. The original plan was to see “Life As We Know It”, but after Jill’s most recent trip home, I showed her the trailer for “Hereafter” and “The Fighter”. She decided that she would rather see “Hereafter” and we made very soft plans to see “The Fighter” when it comes out. However, we didn’t make it back from Hell’s Kitchen in time, so we are back to the original plan of seeing “Life As We Know It”.
15:30 – It is a fair but predictable movie. Most romantic comedies are predictable, so I don’t hold that against it. I can deal with predictable as long as it is well done.
16:15 – Hug Jill goodbye. Wish her luck at darts.
18:30 – Stop in Albert Lea for gas and fast food at Burger King.
20:00 – Home. Foster Bunny survived my absence, but I swear he looks lonely. A trick of the eye.
21:00 – Start of first Computer Mine basketball game of the season. 9 players here. This is promising. Played a couple games last year with 5 or less players. Still haven’t recovered from cold completely and am feeling the aches of being in car for 3.5 hours. I decide to play as little as I can in this game.
21:15 – First extended playing time in this game. I feel like I’m going to vomit. Burger King was a big mistake.
22:00 – We kept it close for most of the game, but lose by a final score of 66-45. Although that sounds bad, this is actually very promising.
22:22 – Ha! Ha! Brett Favre loses to the Packers!
Monday
8:58 – Back at Computer Mine. Vacation officially over.
