Category Archives: Sports

Football, Iowa State, Personal Photo Project

Personal Photo Project of the Week No. 17

May 14, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett

The Personal Photo Project of the Week for this week is a little bit different than previous projects because it isn’t necessarily a designed photo, but more like an event that I wanted to photograph. This is the type of event that I have photographed many times in the past, but this one is different because it might be the last one.

I downgraded my “donation” this year and thus I have no clue where my season tickets for Iowa State’s football season will be. Therefore, I highly have my doubts that I will be taking my camera to any of Iowa State’s football games this season.

When I was taking pictures of the Spring Game, my goal was to get pictures of the players on the sideline.

I only identify 1 player by name because if you don’t know the Cyclones by their number are we really friends?

#38 is my new favorite Cyclone. Even with his helmet he is as short as the girl next to him. According to Iowa State’s roster, his name is Trenton Bledsoe. He is 5-5 and weighs 146 pounds! This guy has some testicular fortitude to walk out on the field. He actually got in the game and caught a pass and wasn’t killed! I’ll definitely be rooting for him as his Cyclone career advances!

There are a few other images in the Iowa State Cyclones Football – 2010 Gallery:

Iowa State Cyclones Football – 2010

I don’t have any analysis to provide. I don’t think you really learn anything watching the Spring Game, but the weather was very nice.

Basketball, Becca, Bethany, Jesse, Jill, Jim, Nate, Vacation

Vacation Day 5 – The Juicy Lucy

May 6, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett 2 Comments

On Wednesday morning I woke up and most of my anger about the Fred Hoiberg hire had dissipated. I had come to accept the fact that while this was mostly a public relations move, there is a chance that it could work. I’m not saying that this is an uncontested breakaway slam dunk. This is more like a turnaround fadeaway with a 7 footer in your face from the baseline.

While it is scary that he will be learning on the job, there is a potential huge upside. He should be able to recruit and he should be able to evaluate talent. 95% of basketball games are won by the team with the more talented players.

I also assume that since Hoiberg has years of NBA experience he will be able to relate to the younger, more talented players and the great exodus of talent from Ames will finally come to an end. Any Biblical scholar can tell you that after the exodus ends it is only a matter of time before the years of wandering in the desert comes to an end.

Even though we will only return 5 scholarship players from last year, I still feel that we will have a better record next year. I’m not sure why I have this optimism, but I have come to peace with the Hoiberg hiring. On Wednesday morning I accepted that it might just work. After all, Hoiberg is a graduate of the nation’s premier land grant university. That fact alone qualifies him for about any job that I can name!

After coming to that conclusion, I got out of bed and took a shower. After Nate woke up we went to Puffy Cream for breakfast. It was excellent, again.

I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stick around, so I contacted Jill about getting supper. She wasn’t sure when she would get off work because her company was enforcing mandatory overtime, even though it wasn’t even Georgia-Texas week.

Eventually it worked out and we agreed to meet at The 5-8 Club at 6:30.

I don’t watch lots of television. I’m always leery of saying that because I don’t want to come off as one of those snobby people who don’t own a television and feel that this gives them a degree of superiority to other people. I can’t stand those people. I’m better than those people.

That being written, I really don’t watch much television. Of the shows that are currently being broadcast on network television, I’ve probably seen a single episode of maybe 10 shows. But on this day, I spent a good portion of the day sitting on the couch watching tv with Nate.

We watched two episodes of The West Wing. Then we watched the show Parenthood. Then we watched the movie Parenthood. Then at about 3 o’clock when Nate was leaving for work, Becca woke up and I watched television with her. We watched local news and she lectured me on why I should watch BBC news because it wasn’t “biased”. I thought this was funny because I once wrote a paper on media bias when I was in college.

At 6:30 I met Jill at The 5-8 Club in Minneapolis. When I was in Minnesota in February I ate at Matt’s Bar with Jim and Bethany. Matt’s Bar and The 5-8 Club both claim to have invented the Juicy Lucy. I was happy that I was going to be able to have both sandwiches so I could determine which one I consider to be the superior burger.

The 5-8 Club

The 5-8 Club was set up a little bit weird. It wasn’t a huge restaurant, but it was of a decent size, but the weird part about it was that you sat yourself. I don’t think that I’ve been in a restaurant this large where you sat yourself.

The place was packed, but there wasn’t a line and a couple of people left as we entered the building, so we were able to get a seat immediately.

I was pretty hungry since all I had eaten on the day was a couple of donuts and some leftover walleye from Houlihan’s. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true. Becca fed me some food that she had bought at Trader Joe’s. A place that Becca is very passionate about. Regardless, I was still hungry.

We ordered mushrooms for an appetizer and I’m not sure if this was a mistake or how they do things, but rather than ranch dressing it came with bleu cheese dressing. I’m not a fan of bleu cheese dressing and this has lead to many a discordant evening with me and Jesse at our favorite wings eating places across central Iowa. However, their bleu cheese dressing was fairly good. It didn’t make me instantly want to vomit like most bleu cheese dressing.

I orderd The Juicy Luicy:

By far our most popular menu item, the Juicy Lucy is a mouth-watering half pound burger stuffed with American cheese. The cheese is HOT – be careful and take your time. Bleu, pepper or Swiss cheese is also available. The wait’s a little bit longer; but we promise it’ll be worth it!

Jill ordered The Saucy Sally:

Lucy’s little sister. Born on May 8, 2005. She making her public debut! A half pound burger stuffed with our secret sauce, and topped with American cheese, shredded lettuce, raw onions, and a smear of Thousand Island Dressing. Make sure you have plenty of napkins.

While Jill was explaining to me her theory on why she is an evolved being, the people sitting in the booth next to ours stopped her. They apologized for eavesdropping on our conversation and then made commentary on why they agreed with Jill’s theory on highly evolved human being.

Really!

Have your own conversation people! I understand that we are probably more fascinating and interesting than you are and it must be hard not to eavesdrop on us, but at least try to have your own conversation.

After we had ate as much food as we could, we waited patiently for our bill. This was the type of joint where you pay the waitress, but our waitress had disappeared. In fact, I didn’t see any waitress. We probably waited for a good 20 minutes before the waitress showed up and said:

“You guys probably want to go home.”

Then a few minutes later she showed up with the bill.

I gave her my Bank of the Bear card. She took it and when she came back to give me the bill she handed me somebody else’s credit card. After hopefully getting the finances of the evening squared away I’m ready to make this proclamation:

Matt’s Bar serves the superior Ju(i)cy Lucy. The 5-8 Club wasn’t bad and I would certainly go back, but Matt’s is superior. At some point I might have to go back to try the Saucy Sally.

After the meal I bid Jill a fond adieu and hit the open road back to the Cyclone State. It was a pretty great 3 days in Minnesota.

Andree, Baier, Basketball, Becca, Bethany, Bill, Brog Frog, Candid Portrait, Derrick, Jesse, Music, Nate, Russell, Sara, Schmidt, Shannon, Vacation, Willy

Vacation Day 4 – Cotton Candy

May 5, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett 7 Comments

I was set on going back to the Cyclone State on Tuesday night after visiting Faust on his day off, but Bethany and Becca requested that I stay one more night. I had no plans for Wednesday (Sara’s attempt to convince me to go to Iowa City failed since she couldn’t produce a single credible theory on why it would be fun for me to sit around while she put stitches in a pig’s foot), so I agreed to come back to Eagan after my visit to Mankato.

Nate, Becca and Bethany live a couple blocks from a donut store by the name of Puffy Cream Donuts. After I woke up and showered, I hit the open road to Mankato after picking up some cream filled goodness at Puffy Cream.

When I got to Mankato I stopped at Target so I could buy some extra clothes for the extra day in Minnesota.

I arrived at the Faust home and we discussed potential new coaches for the Cyclones.

My dream has always been that Iowa State rights the wrong it made several years ago and brings back Eustachy. I know this was a pipedream, but there are several great options out there. It was exciting to think about what guy Pollard would bring to Ames to return the Cyclones to glory.

We went to Mr. Goodcents for lunch. I hadn’t eaten at Mr. Goodcents since the one in Ames closed down while I was still in college. The sandwiches are no longer as epic in scope as they were all those years ago, but it was definitely still very tasty and I wasn’t disappointed. Not like how disappointed I am with the horrible joke that is masquerading as Panchero’s across the street from the Computer Mine.

At 2:30 we walked over to Jackson’s school to pick him up. I got to admire some of his artwork and look around his school.

As we returned to the Faust abode, I checked my email on my phone. I wasn’t expecting any messages of great consequence, I was just trying to hammer out lunch plans for Thursday with Shannon, but then I got an email message from The Swell Season updating their Summer tour schedule. They are coming to 1st Ave in July! Hallelujah!

After further discussion about who Iowa State could get as a coach, Nicole came and picked us up to get cotton candy!

The residence hall where she works was trying to get the students to leave their dorm rooms by serving cotton candy, popcorn and playing approved music. I don’t know how well it worked on the students, but it worked on Jackson, Faust and I.

On the way over to Minnesota State’s campus, Jackson flexed the golden pipes and wowed me by singing along word for word with the Justin Bieber CD playing on the stereo.

A portion of the day was following Jackson while he ran through the hallways of the dormitory.

Jackson has yet to develop his dad’s patented “Leaning Weiner” shot.

Now I’ve been able to school two generations of Fausts on the court. Plus Faust and I did relive some old Saturday Morning Basketball memories. Including how he felt that he owned The Salmon on the court. Hmmm… two friends that think they own The Salmon.

Jackson nailed somewhere between 3-5 shots depending on how he retells the story.

Faust manning the popcorn machine.

Jackson and his Mr. Freeze

Fronting for the Cyclones in Maverick Country

Faust Knocking Down Cotton Candy Goodness

Shortly after we got back to the Faust Estate my phone rang. It was Jesse.

“We just hired a new coach. Fred Hoiberg.”

I was instantly pissed. Are you kidding me? We just hired some guy because he is super popular with the fan base even though he has NO coaching experience on any level. Was this the cheapest publicity stunt ever?

Full disclosure: I’m not and never was a ravenous Fred Hoiberg fan. He was a solid player and a nice story. His teams were okay and they went to the tournament, but they were not my teams and I could not stand their style of play. They were soft. I was and always will be a Dedric Willoughby fan. He actually won a championship. I’m sure if Pollard would have announced that Willoughby was the new coach and he was filling out his staff with Jacy Holloway, Kenny Pratt and Shawn Bankhead I would have jumped for joy. Hoiberg doesn’t do it for me like he does it for the grand majority of Cyclone nation.

Jesse and I vented our anger. Then Faust and I vented our anger.

I sent text messages to Baier, Bill, Russell, Andree, Derrick and Schmidt.

Bill wrote back:

“Fred? As head coach?”

“Yep.”

“Does he have any coaching experience?”

“None. Not at all.”

“Not good at all”

Andree wrote back:

“I guess he didn’t even entertain the idea of hiring Larry back. Well, here’s hoping Hoiberg’s NBA connections can help with recruiting. Was Pollard expecting another Paul Rhoads or something? He’ll be fired next year. This is a cheap move by hiring Ames favorite son to get fans off his back. Idiot!”

“It might be a popular move. I guess we can hope this works out.”

“Popular or not Hoiberg has some cache in Ames. Maybe he can sell to future recruits: “I got all the GMs phone numbers. If you got the chops, they’ll take my call.”

Then I got a call from Baier. We vented. Then I got a call from Russell. We vented.

Then I got a text from Schmidt.

“They are reporting The Mayor as our next coach.”

“I feel that we are worse off now than we were on Sunday with McDermott as our coach.”

“Typical Chris response that I expected!”

“Maybe he is a quick study.”

“We won’t know for three years. Its the Hall of Fame coaching staff!”

Then Derrick called. Of everybody I talked to he seemed the most optimistic that this might work. Although he had just got off the phone with Shawn and Shawn was extremely negative about this hire. But we didn’t get a full conversation because some customer came into the store and he had to “work”.

Faust and I discussed this move for quite a bit longer. Then I headed backup to Eagan.

Nate and I went to Houlihan’s for supper and then we came back to the house. I watched Weeds with Becca until about 2 in the morning and then I went to bed.

Much of my anger over the Hoiberg hiring had subsided and I was able to go to sleep rather quickly

Day 4 of vacation was still pretty great, despite the surprise Hoiberg hiring!

Baier, Basketball, Becca, Bethany, Bill, Derrick, Jen, Jesse, Jill, Nate, Schmidt, Still Life, Vacation

Vacation Day 3 – Guinea Pig Denial

May 4, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett 2 Comments

I woke up early on Monday morning. I’m not sure if it was the excitement of the forthcoming trip or if the rumors of Greg McDermott’s departure were so exciting to me that I was like a little kid on Christmas anxiously awaiting the chance to rip the wrapping paper off of his new Omega Supreme!

As I prepared for the trip (as much as I always wish that I was a night before packer – I am definitely a 15 minutes before leaving packer) I listened to the local sports talking heads Deace and Miller discuss McDermott’s departure to Creighton. Only they weren’t using words like “potential” or “possible”. They were talking about his departure as being a done deal.

I always liked McDermott. I hoped that he was going to get it done. While almost all of my other Cyclone friends had left the McDermott sinking ship, I was certain that this past year was going to be his season. He had two future NBA players on his roster. A capable veteran point guard. A pair of sharpshooters. A serviceable center. A bench full of athletic underclassmen.

However, it all went downhill very fast. I remember the moment that I knew that McDermott wasn’t going to get it done.

Jill and I had went over to Derrick and Jen’s to watch a movie. Derrick had called me earlier in the day to make sure that we were a “unified front” on being able to watch the Cyclones demolish Northwestern before we watched a movie. Of course we were a unified front!

The only problem was that Iowa State didn’t demolish Northwestern. In fact, they lost to a Northwestern team that was missing one of its best players.

This was a bad sign.

True many Floyd and Eustachy teams were terrible in the early part of the season, only to cohese and become a dominant force down the stretch. After all, the Elite Eight team lost to a bad Drake team.

Only one of the warning signs that McDermott was in over his head at ISU was the disturbing fact that his teams did not become better as the season went along. In fact, they seemed to get worse.

Even though my head knew that this highly touted team was going nowhere fast, I think my heart forced my mouth to utter the phrase “wake-up call”. Only this wasn’t a “wake-up call” for them. It was a wake-up call for me.

The season went downhill fast. A loss at home to UNI. Barely beating Iowa’s intramural team. Barely beating Houston. Lucca leaving in the middle of the season. 4 conference wins.

Then moments after the season was over, Brackins goes pro. Buckley and Hamilton transfer. The NCAA punish Iowa State for being Iowa State and doesn’t grant Gilstrap another year of eligibility.

It seemed like there was blood in the water. The only question was how would Pollard come up with 2.5 million dollars to payoff McDermott?

Only instead of dropping the axe on McDermott like he did on Wayne Morgan (despite Wayne Morgan having 3 straight winning seasons) Pollard gave McDermott a vote of confidence.

Then a month went by and it got weird. Two assistant coaches left. Colvin left. Pollard sent out two enigmatic letters. One to a kid telling him that he understood his concerns about the direction of the ISU basketball team, but his records indicated that the kid didn’t donate money to the athletic department, so bugger off. Then another letter where he blamed McDermott’s inability to keep players (including a finalist for Player of the Year honors that played for Syracuse this year – yeah that hurt to watch) not on McDermott, but on this generation of worthless kids. He started the letter by throwing Fennelly under the bus and ended it with some very fuzzy math. He tried to make the argument that kids transferring is an epidemic, but if you actually do the math with the numbers he provides, the average Division 1 school lost .5 kids to transfer in the last two years. Iowa State has lost 6. Now 7 with the transfer of Boozer.

Then Christmas came. Oregon hired Dana Altman. Creighton wanted Greg McDermott to replace him!

Not only was Iowa State not going to continue its long descent into irrelevance, it wasn’t going to cost us 2.5 million to go in a new direction. In fact, Creighton is going to have to pay us $800,000 for the right to take our problem off of our hands.

The only problem was that I wasn’t going to be in the state to hear the news. I was going to be in Minnesota.

However, I’m a problem solver. After I gassed up the car and picked up some needed supplies for the trip (two bottles of water, a bag of beef jerky and two Whatchamacallits) I texted Baier, Jesse and Schmidt and asked them to let me know when it had become official that McDermott was heading to Nebraska! Then I hit the open road.

I arrived in Eagan at about 11:30. Nate was the only one home and awake.

I had assigned Nate the task of finding us interesting places to eat at during my two day stay in Minnesota. He handed me a magazine with reviews of numerous Twin City restaurants. However, he noted that Bethany strongly favored eating at Chino Latino.

I found the review of Chino Latino. The review stated that Chino Latino served guinea pig! I was in.

After deciding on the dining option for that evening we piled into the car and head to Five Guys for lunch. We had a little bit of difficulty finding it, but when we did finally locate it, it was worth it.

Five Guys is a burger joint. The menu is simple and the food is tasty. I will definitely be going back.

They serve fresh cut potato fries. They put them in a cup, but they also fill the bottom of your bag with more fries.

A “hot mess” but in a good way, not in the Edie Sedgwick way.

It is usually busy enough that they serve you free peanuts while you wait in line.

They also let you know where your potatoes came from.

Simple menu and you get to add whatever toppings that you want!

Bags of Potatoes

Even though we were stuffed, Nate suggested that we visit a White Castle. I’ve always heard that their food is nasty, but I’ve never eaten at a White Castle and I’ve always wanted to try it.

To give our stomach time to process the goodness of Five Guys we headed from Edina to Apple Valley so that Nate could pickup and deposit his paycheck.

Nate banks where Bethany works, so I got to speak with her briefly. When her co-worker wasn’t butting in to tell me about his brother-in-law that used to play football for Iowa State. Only he can’t remember his name, but he rushed for 438 yards in one game. Some people you just have to let speak.

Next stop White Castle!

White Castle

Our sojourn to White Castle wasn’t adventurous and nobody would make a movie about it. We each ordered two sliders.

The hype about White Castle was dead-on! The food is absolutely dreadful. I can’t believe this place stays in business.

We took the rest of the day to rest before Chino Latino.

Jesse called and gave me the fantastic news that it was official. Creighton had given our basketball program the gift of a fresh, new beginning!

Nate called Chino Latino and made a reservation, but found out the sad news that in order to get the guinea pig, Cuy, you had to order it 48 hours in advance.

DENIED!

Luckily Jill was sort of able to provide some recommendations to me. Sort of.

Later in the night Bethany came home and we went over to her significant other’s house to meet up before going to Uptown.

While we were waiting for some people to get ready, Bill called to ask if Creighton had really hired McDermott.

“Yes.”

“Do they know that he had 4 straight losing seasons at Iowa State despite having the greatest homecourt advantage in the nation?”

“They don’t make them very smart in Nebraska.”

“True that.”

7 of us met up at Chino Latino. Beth, John, Becca, Nate, John’s friend Ben and Bethany’s co-worker “V”.

Chino Latino serves equatorial food. That means that the food comes from countries that are on the equator.

Nate really wants to order Fidel’s Capitalist Pig Roast at some point. Which is a teenage pig, if you are the type of person that needs labels.

The food was excellent. Once I saw the $45 price tag, I didn’t feel so bad about the guinea pig denial.

I rode back to Eagan with Becca so that I could see her new car and the cowboy joint where she currently works.

Near Chino Latino

Becca’s Favorite Store

This is kind of how it feels to be riding around with Becca.

Day 3 of vacation was an excellent day by almost all tangible measurement.

Basketball, Black & White, Derrick, House, Jen, Toby, Willy

Vacation Day 2 – The Tub

April 29, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett 2 Comments

On Day 2 of my vacation, 1 of my major accomplishments was getting Willy and Derrick together and moving a tub.

We borrowed my uncle Butch’s truck and picked up the tub from Toby’s backyard. The tub used to be a planter and since it was raining all day, the dirt had turned into mud.

We picked up the tub and dumped all the dirt out of it. We took it to a carwash and sprayed it down. This resulted in my person being almost completely mud covered.

It was worth it, because now I have a sweet tub to use as a beverage trough for the barbecue and perhaps as a dog tub in the future.

Later that night Derrick, Jen and I went down to The Machine Shed for dinner. On the way down to Des Moines, Derrick dropped a little bomb on me.

He asked me if I had heard that Creighton was interested in hiring Greg McDermott.

Really?

It isn’t even my birthday… yet!

Baseball/Softball, Basketball, Black & White, Candid Portrait, Faust, Formal Portrait, History, Jay, Jesse, Willy

Home Run Derby: The Next Generation

April 15, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett 2 Comments

When me and my chums were in high school, we would spend a few choice nights of the Spring, Summer and Fall in my Mom’s backyard playing Homerun Derby with a big red bat and a plastic baseball.

Homerun Derby was a double elimination tournament that consisted of a series of 9 inning games between two opponents. Anything besides a homerun was an out.

While the other gladiators awaited their turn in the arena, they sat on my Mom’s deck munching on the goodness that is Casey’s pizza.

If memory serves me, I won the first Homerun Derby, but never again tasted the sweet nectar of victory.

While my booming blasts are the stuff of legend, (I’m certain that I once knocked a ball all the way to Carroll Street) Homerun Derby was more a game of precision.

There were numerous low hanging branches from the walnut tree and some of the neighbor’s trees that knocked down balls that were hit “too high”. Of course many a low line drive, that would have easily escaped the unfriendly confines of anywhere else in Bennett Field, were knocked harmlessly to the ground by the Green Monster in rightfield. Plus, towering above the Green Monster was a basketball backboard that knocked more than its fair share of dingers back into the outfield and turned the glory of going yard into just another out. Slightly more dramatic than a grounder back to the pitcher, but as far as the scoreboard was concerned, it was the same thing.

It was Willy’s sweet lefthanded stroke that usually won the night. His line drive swing seemed custom made to avoid the obstacles that brought many a hard hit shot harmlessly back to the ground inside the wooden fence that marked the playing field.

While it might seem like a juvenile enough activity, it was important enough to our ascent into manhood that when my Mom moved from the dilapidated structure on Greene Street to her current home on South Benton that we got as much of the old gang back together as we could and had a reunion Homerun Derby.

My legendary blasts were not enough for me to score a victory on my homefield. Willy’s sweet compact line drive swing failed him on this evening as well. Jay’s notoriously crafty pitching (that once earned him the moniker Dr. K) also couldn’t guide him to the winner’s circle. Jesse took home what might be the final Homerun Derby crown of our lives on that night.

It could even be said that Jesse’s performance in the ballpark, on that night, was in the ballpark of dominant. Bennett Field and Homerun Derby legend holds that you only get “Randy’s Meat” once a game, but on this night it seemed like Jesse was getting Randy’s Meat 10-12 times a game.

I don’t want you to leave this entry thinking that Homerun Derby wasn’t serious business. We even had our own set of trading cards, although I think only Jesse’s card survives. Although I just got a “great” idea for another Personal Photo Project.

IMAGE LOST
Apparently Jay’s thought Jesse should spell his name like a girl.

Recently Faust and Jackson came over to what I guess is the current incarnation of Bennett Field. Less like Fenway and more like Wrigley. I went into the magical green trunk of sports equipment and produced a big red bat and some plastic baseballs.

I don’t know if Jesse is officially retired from Homerun Derby, but if he isn’t, I think Jackson might be coming for his title.

I don’t know if it is because the old champ could hear the smack of the bat or smell the pine tar in the air, but a few minutes after the Fausts left he showed up to have his picture taken.

These shirts were given to the winner and loser of the Computer Mine NCAA Tournament Pool.

Winner

Loser

No word yet on whether there will be a special Jackson vs. Jesse exhibition match in the future. I say clear off a cornfield halfway between Boone and Mankato and lets get this thing going!

Baier, Basketball, Becky, Bill, Dawn, Derrick, Faust, Frank, Jesse, Linda, Nader, Robert, Russell, Schmidt, Toby

3Peat

April 6, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett

“This is the end,

Beautiful friend,

This is the end,

Of our elaborate plans, the end,

Of everything that stands, the end,

No safety or surprise, the end.”

– The Doors (The End)

Another college basketball season has come to an end. It is a sad, sad day. At least it is only 11 days to Iowa State’s Spring Football Game. 11 long days!

The end of another college basketball season means it is time to crown the champion of year 6 of the Roundball Oracles tournament pool.

This is beginning to sound like a broken record, but a few years back Pat Riley was man enough to patent the word 3peat. What he wasn’t man enough to do is actually 3peat. He came up woefully short in his attempt to win a 3rd straight championship.

Mark Wolfram is not Pat Riley. Mark Wolfram was man enough to be crowned the Roundball Oracles Champion for the 3rd straight year. It was a little embarrassing when a guy living in Taiwan won the first time. Even more embarrassing when he repeated last year. I’m not sure if there are words to express how embarrassing it is that he won for a third straight year.

Hopefully next year somebody will step up and snatch that crown off of his head. Could be you! Could be me! Although I’ll have to rebound from an extremely pathetic performance this year. At least I finished third and won ten bucks in the pool at work.

The Final Standings

1. Mark Wolfram (Taiwan Hoops) – 81 points

2. Nader Parsaei (Charlie Chaplin) – 79 points

3. Dawn Krause (Dawn’s Dunkin’ Dribblers) – 75 points

4. Frank Meiners (Frank’s Picks) – 73 points

4. Corey Faust (Always Go Top Shelf) – 73 points

6. Dan Dill (dan) – 71 points

7. Jason Baier (JLB) – 70 points

8. Robert Henning (Shot In The Dark) – 67 points

9. Nate Buckingham (Wade Lookingbill Allstars) – 65 points

9. Tim Peterson (Dominate Monkey) – 65 points

9. Linda Toot (JWB) – 65 points

12 – Derrick Gorshe (Derrick) – 63 points

13 – Jesse Howard (ISU Yes McDermott No) – 62 points

14 – Becky Perkovich (A169032477) – 61 points

15 – Corey Schmidt (TakeIt2ThaHole) – 58 points

15. Toby Sebring (Lickliter Is Out!) – 58 points

17. Russell Kennerly (i’m also transferring greg) 57 points

18. Christopher D. Bennett (I See Things) – 56 points

19. Jon DeWaard (Lono’s bracket) – 54 points

20. Bill Wentworth (Bill’s Bracket) – 53 points

21. Carrie Baier (Couragers) – 52 points

21 competitors was a new Roundball Oracles record for participants. 4 female competitors was a record for female competitors!

I am hopeful that next year, both of those records will be broken.

Basketball, House, Jay, Jesse, Linda, Movies

A Clockwork Couch

March 17, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett

In the last couple of weeks I have been making huge organizational changes to my basement. However, other parts of the house have also seen wholesale changes. I recently changed out the white table my Aunt Linda gave me for a 10 foot long workbench to act as the entertainment center in my living room. I also purchased a new couch and loveseat. To further augment my living room experience, I have made my rear speakers wireless and now I no longer have to worry about hiding the wiring for the rear speakers under the rug.

Have a look:

Living Room Changes

As you can see from this picture, these new changes to the living room make my weekly ritualistic viewing of A Clockwork Orange much more enjoyable.

The new couch and loveseat are undeniably real horrorshow. I think that they will increase the comfort of my droogs when they come over to see how the colors of the real world only seem real when they viddy them on a screen. The couch is comfortable for sleeping, so I can take a nap when I have something of a pain in the gulliver. Comfortable enough that I might not awaken when I give orders for awakening. I shouldn’t think on that much though. Thinking is for the gloopy ones and the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends.

Now that the speakers are in the proper place, the surround sound sounds a million times better. I don’t have any problem approaching anybody and asking: “What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.” When I have a wonderful evening and I need to give it a perfect ending with a little Ludwig Van it will be bliss! Bliss and heaven! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. A bird of rarest-spun metal or like silver wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense. As I slooshie, I will know such lovely pictures!

If my droogs Jay and Jesse try to wrestle on the new furniture while waiting for me to get ready to hit the Korova milkbar and a night of the ultra-violence, I will have no problem smacking them with my cane. If they ask why I did that, I will tell them calmly “For being a bastard with no manners, and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother.”

If they tell me: “Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I’ll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime, not having you aim tolchocks at me reasonless. Well it stand to reason I won’t have it.”

I will tell them, “A nozh scrap any time you say. But not near my new couch and loveseat. They are real horrorshow.”

Of course they will back down and say they need to go home and get a bit of spatchka.

After all, I have to protect my new couch and loveseat. To not do so, I would suffer the tortures of the damned, sir – tortures of the damned.

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.

Final NCAA Bracket Chance

Today is your final chance to sign up to be embarrassed by me and my extensive college basketball knowledge in The Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. So far 14 people have signed up for the free lesson in humility. 2 of them women! This isn’t a “boys club”. If you have an interest in participating, email me at: bennett@photography139.com and I will see that you get all the necessary information.

Basketball, Jesse, Movies, Nader, Shannon, Writing

L.A. Story

March 16, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett

Many of you know Nader’s story. It is an amazing story, but the thing I always have the hardest problem believing is that while he was being held as a political prisoner in an Iranian prison he could be happy that Henry Fonda won an Oscar.

I’m pretty sure that if I was held in prison for 6.5 years without the benefit of a trial and constantly under the threat of execution I could care less who won an Oscar.

Nader recently made a trip out to L.A. while the Oscars were going down. Here are a few of his pictures from the trip.

Hollywood

Kodak Theater

Nader with Leonard Maltin

Nader and his favorite – Charlie Chaplin

Nader and Mary Hart

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Inside the Kodak Theater

Nader with the Oscar Statues from the ceremony. The day after the Oscars.

The Star of Funny Face.

Star of West Side Story

The room where the fist Oscars was held.

The hotel where the first Academy Awards was held.

Nader did not get to see the Oscars up close and personal. He visited the Kodak Theater a couple of days before the Oscars and tried to talk to a guy that Jesse knows, but that only resulted in a long conversation (interrogation) with a member of the security team.

NCAA Tournament Reminder

If you want to enter the Roundball Oracles NCAA basketball pool email me at bennett@photography139.com and I will send you the requisite information. No money is required to enter and basketball knowledge is hardly necessary either. This has been proven by many people over the years.

Biography Challenge

I’m doing a small amount of pro bono photo work for a local community theater group. Apparently I have to write a small bio for the program. This is what I’ve come up with so far:

Christopher D. Bennett is making his debut to the world. Before this moment he has lived in a cave outside of Boone, Iowa and subsisted on his foraging skills. He has most recently been involved in theater by sitting in one and watching movies, but being sure to sound pretentious enough by constantly referring to it as “the cinema”. As if referring to himself as Christopher D. Bennett didn’t make him pretentious sounding enough. It is also his great fear that being involved in this production will undermine his authority to make fun of people involved in Community Theater. Christopher does not enjoy being a Jaycee, but thankfully that dreaded curse has almost come to an end. He is the Vice-President of the Boone United Methodist Men, a job that comes with zero responsibility. That is considered a perk as Christopher comes from a generation that is fearful of responsibility and garlic. Christopher works at a computer mine in southeast Ames where his greatest fear is contracting the dreaded silicon lung. Christopher enjoys spending time with Shannon Bardole’s cat Franklin, but not necessarily Shannon Bardole. She gets crabby when she is tired or hungry. Christopher is also feared on playgrounds and gymnasiums around this nation for his unstoppable crossover dribble, unlimited shooting range, tenacious rebounding and lock down defense. There is no truth to any rumors that he starred in a series of “After Dark” films under the name “Hammer”. However, there is much veracity in the oft told legends of his numerous facial hair experiments.

If you can come up with something better or think that I need to modify or add something, place your suggestions in the comments section of this journal entry.

Thanks!

Also, if you could tell me what my favorite game show is, that would be great as well.

Basketball, Becky, Dawn, History, Sara, Vest, WPC - Submissions, Writing

RWPE #10 – Explore

March 15, 2010 Christopher D. Bennett

Last week’s theme was EXPLORE. Here are the submissions:

IMAGE LOST
Dawn Krause

Christopher D. Bennett

IMAGE LOST
Becky Perkovich

Michael Vest

Dawn’s Weekly Poem

Explore Ourselves

An escape from complacency let’s explore our world
unseen corners, hidden pulses, and wild streams un-purled

Discover riches in ourselves let our impulse flow
And share the depths of our hearts that seldom do we show

Venture a path not oft taken freedom be our way
Open recesses of our minds and let come what may

In case you were wondering what the Random Generator looks like, it looked something like the picture below this morning:

IMAGE LOST

Next week’s theme is MOTION.

As many of you know, it is nearly NCAA Tournament time. Once again, my beloved Cyclones will be sitting at home or doing whatever it is that they do. It seems that they look at other schools to transfer to, but regardless, I didn’t come here to wax philosophical on yet another McDermott debacle.

I came here to invite everybody within the radius of these words to join the 6th Annual Roundball Oracles NCAA Tournament Pool. There is no money to enter. The only thing that is put on the line is pride. Of course where I come from, pride is no small thing. I do provide a trophy to the person that is able see into the future the best. The winner also gets their name proudly displayed next to our past champions:

2004 – William McAlpine
2005 – William McAlpine
2007 – Tim Peterson
2008 – Mark Wolfram
2009 – Mark Wolfram

If you think you have what it takes to take down Mark Wolfram or even if you think it would be a little bit of fun to take the UNI Panthers to the Final Four (after they humiliate Kansas in the 2nd Round) or you are just looking for a new experience, just send an email to bennett@photography139.com and I will provide you with all the necessary information to enter into this most noble of competitions.

I look forward to some new competition this year.